User blog:RRabbit42/Automatic friends

This is a companion blog to Automatic enemies and Automatically a hero that will help explain why people aren't automatically a friend to other characters.

"But, I just want to say that over the years, I have come to regard you as... people I met."

- Arnold Rimmer

Just like with enemies, when looking at a character, there is a temptation to assign friends to them. That line is in the Infobox, so therefore it should be filled in, right? But if it means you're going to try and force characters to be their friend that really aren't, then no, you shouldn't.

Here's some examples:
 * When you're walking down the street, is every person you pass by automatically your friend?
 * What about the people you see at school or a shopping mall? Are all of them automatically your friends simply because you happen to see them?
 * What about people you see on Facebook or other websites like DeviantArt or CNN?

Not really. To be someone's friend, it takes time to get to know them. Some people make friends very easily. They meet them and are happy to meet them, and they continue to be friends after that initial meeting. For most of us, it takes a while to find out what they're like and if we want to continue being friends with them.

Maybe that friendship starts with something small, like noticing they're reading a book you've also read so you start talking with them. Maybe they help you pick up things you drop when carrying a heavy load and they make sure you get to where you're going.

Without time and further interaction, they're just someone you happened to meet. If you go your separate ways after the initial meeting, it's just happenstance that you momentarily had something in common. It doesn't automatically make them your friend.

Do not say that Character B is Character A's friend simply because they happened to meet. The story has to show the further events that prove a friendship was forming. Without those events, Character B is someone Character A just happened to meet.

Likewise, there is the temptation to say that people in the military are friends with other people because they work together. That's not automatically the case. There are plenty of people you see in a military organization or place you work at that you may never become friends with. You can be friendly or coordial towards them because it helps you do your job, but that is not the same as being friends with them. Unless you take the time and make the effort to get to know them, they are only people you happen to work with.

For characters in the military or other organizations, another factor comes into play: their rank. In some cases, it's not a good idea to become friends with people who are not of the same rank as you or close to your rank. For example, if you're a Lieutenant, being friends with a Corporal might influence your decision to send that person into combat. You might know about them as a soldier in your command, but being a personal friend wouldn't be a good idea.

Military characters that we classify as an antagonist or a villain don't have a lot of friends and we shouldn't say that the people they happen to work with are automatically their friends. Most of the time, characters that are the same rank or close to theirs are their competition. You don't get friendly with them unless you're planning on stabbing them in the back, and that's not friendship, that's using another person to achieve an objective.

Someone like Emperor Palpatine doesn't have friends. There are people like Darth Vader that are close to him and he respects and trusts, but as Count Dooku learned, that close working relationship, respect and trust lasted only as long as Palpatine had use for him. As soon as Anakin Skywalker was in a position to become a new apprentice, Dooku was discarded.

So keep all of this in mind and don't automatically call Character B the friend of Character A unless it is shown in the story that a friendship did develop between the two.