Soldiers (Lazer Team)

"Peace out, Boba Fett!"

- Murdoch

"Nice try... champ!"

- Murdoch

The Soldiers (also referred to as simply "The Patrol") are supporting antagonists in the live-action film by RoosterTeeth for YouTube Red, Lazer Team.

They are a group of five soldiers connected to the Project Perseus military base, often finding themselves on patrol or guard duties. Murdoch is the leader of the group, an abusive and unpleasant young man who refers to his own friends as "dickholes" and is constantly yelling at them to shut up. Franksen and Bean appear to be his two main friends. Bean calls Franksen "Frank" for short, while Murdoch will call Bean "Refry" (as in refried beans). The other two soldiers are simply referred to as "Cronie #1" and "Cronie #2" in the credits, but the nametags on their uniforms identify them as Croyl and Couch respectively.

They do not enjoy their job, and are prone to getting drunk while on duty and driving around in their Jeep recklessly. They're first seen in the film when Murdoch "accidentally" backs the Jeep into Deputy Sheriff Anthony Hagan's police car while he's directing traffic at the football stadium. The group are drunk and refuse to provide Hagan with identification, mocking him with Star Wars references (and one Star Trek one) before speeding off. Hagan attempts to pursue them, but is called away. As a result of the Jeep hitting his car, the bumper later comes off.

Later, the group are sent to guard the crash site where the vessel containing the suit of power landed, and are again highly intoxicated. Franksen considers it to be "like camping," while Bean is annoyed about such do-nothing duty; Murdoch assures them, though, that it's "top secret stuff" and Project Perseus "needs their best on it." It is unclear whether he's being sarcastic. Something crashlands in the woods behind them. Leaving Franksen to stay with the Jeep, Murdoch and the other three go to investigate and discover a pyramidal object which Bean guesses is another spaceship.

Remembering what "those morons" (Hagan and the others) found in the other ship, Murdoch guesses they might find some "fancy gizmos" in this one, too, and so he opens the thing up, finding four high-tech laser pistols... and several mechanical spider probes which swarm onto them, taking over their minds and turning them into brainwashed servants of the evil Worg. Returning to the Jeep, Murdoch kills Franksen, and he and the other three now mind-controlled soldiers drive their Jeep back to the military base, with the intent of killing the Lazer Team for the Worg. In the process, Murdoch snaps the neck of another soldier on guard duty at the infirmary.

Without ever knowing that the four are hunting them, the Lazer Team escapes. Figuring that Hagan's daughter Mindy will know where her father might hide, Murdoch goes to the Hagan residence and uses a fifth spider robot to take over Mindy's mind, and while under Worg control she contacts Zach Spencer on the computer, learning that he, her father and the rest of the Lazer Team are at her mother's (Hagan's ex) cabin in the woods. Initially, Murdoch sends Mindy to perform the job of killing them, but after she fails and the spider is removed from her body, returning her to normal, the four brainwashed soldiers decide to do it themselves.

A chase ensues between the Lazer Team in a broken down pickup truck (with Herman Mendoza using his boots' super speed to push) and the mind-controlled soldiers in their Jeep. Couch climbs into the back of the truck and fights with Zach, but has his neck broken when a low-hanging tree branch sweeps him out of the truck bed. Bean attempts to shoot the truck with his Worg-provided laser, but Zach shoots a tree trunk, and the tree falls into the road. Unable to stop in time, Murdoch hits the tree, overturning the Jeep, killing himself, Bean and Croyl.

However, the four refuse to stay down. Although at this point beyond any hope of recovery or rescue from their brainwashed condition, the Worg spiders actually use their corpses for locomotion, turning them into what amount to zombies as they continue pursuing their targets, following the Lazer Team to the high school. Another fight ensues. Zach shoots the Croyl-zombie through the chest, and then the spider controlling him self-destructs. The Bean-zombie follows Woody into the school kitchen while the Couch-zombie corners Woody in the science lab. Woody kills Bean when he shoots a sliding door which closes on him and crushes him, causing his spider to detonate. Woody mixes some chemicals together to create acid and throws it into Couch's face. As the undead soldier reels, he pulls out a tube supplying a Bunsen burner with flammable gas, and flees from the room; when Couch fires his Worg laser, the entire lab ignites, destroying him.

The Murdoch-zombie becomes the only one of the group left, and he takes Mindy hostage, demanding the pieces of the suit in exchange for giving her a quick death. However, the Lazer Team kill him (again) by first having Herman grab Mindy away from Murdoch using his super speed, and then Zach fires a laser blast which bounces off of Hagan's energy shield, hitting Murdoch. The last of the undead soldiers violently explodes into fire and ash, leaving only his Worg laser weapon lying on the ground.