Dan (Dan Vs.)

"I can't believe how much I hate everything."

- Dan

Dan is the the titular villain protagonist in the animated series, Dan Vs.. He is an argumentative and vengeful man who always calls his best friend Chris, whenever he is plotting or enacting revenge. He has said that he has been thrown out of libraries and jailed on multiple occasions. Dan has said to have been tear-gassed so many times that he no longer feels any effects from it, and he has also been maced enough times to claim that it is "tangier" than tear-gas. He seems to really like his car, despite its state of disrepair; several of his "revenge missions" were instigated by people damaging or tampering with it. He is also very fond of his female cat, Mr. Mumbles, and cannot remain angry at her for very long (she is the only creature that cannot get Dan angry). At the end of every episode's prologue, he always raises on fists in the air in anger and shout out the name of whatever he is about to go up against and add the words to the episodes' titles (however, he doesn't shout at the end of the intro of Dan Vs. The Gym). While Dan is more so of a villain, he has a more gentle side.

He was voiced by Curtis Armstrong.

Personality
Dan is a rude, impatient, argumentative, selfish, ill-tempered, angry, offensive, and ignorant man who seems to care about no one but himself. He mocks his best friend Chris for being very slow-witted and incompetent, and dislikes his wife Elise even more than he hates Chris. He is definitely prone to yelling at people, and threatening them by getting revenge. Whenever his car is destroyed and/or vandalized, he will storm right out of his apartment and track down the cause of his car's destruction and/or vandalism. He is also very insubordinate and disrespectful to children, which implies that he hates babies in general, according to his "revenge list".

Despite being an extremely unpleasant person with an extremely lenient morality, Dan is proven to have a softer side to him. Dan is extremely loving and compassionate towards his pet cat "Mr. Mumbles" (although it took him far too long to realize that she is actually female) and always forgives her to a greater degree than he does to almost everyone else around him, Dan is additionally nice and polite towards most animals in general, specifically cats, as he once risked his own life to save the animals living inside an Animal Shelter that he tried to blow up. Dan is also extremely affectionate and empathetic towards a woman named Hortence, whom he has an on-and-off relationship with, and, despite his tremendous ego, believes that she shouldn't waste her time with him if she has better opportunities presented to her. Lastly, Dan occasionally acts as a real friend towards Chris, treating him with actual respect on various occasions.

Appearance
Dan has black hair, green eyes, a goatee, a slight stubble on his chin, and round rotten teeth. He wears blue jeans, black boots, and a black T-shirt that says "JERK" in white letters.

Season 1

 * "New Mexico" - Tried to destroy the state.
 * "The Wolfman" - Kidnapped a trick-or-treater and chased another along with Chris presuming it to be the real Wolfman, but are arrested for chasing the child. Despite this, they leave the police station and continue to hunt down the Wolfman. However, before Dan shoots the Wolfman in the buttocks with a bow and arrow, he takes it from a haunted yard that has been graverobbed by the two.
 * "The Animal Shelter" - Gave Chris a threatening message, poisoned him with meat loaf, stole his and Elise's car, and blew up an animal shelter. Although his heroic side is when he rescued his kitten, Mr. Mumbles and all of the other animals.
 * "Canada" - Made Chris and hockey players jump into frozen water at a hockey game and caused a huge avalanche over the entire country.
 * "Traffic" - Destroyed a radio celebrity's helicopter and stole his jacket (though the celebrity originally took it from him).
 * "Baseball" - Kidnapped the commissioner along with Chris.
 * "The Barber" - Killed Becky's boyfriend Mike with scissors.
 * "Art" - Vandalized art along with Chris.
 * "Elise's Parents" - Mistook Don as a member of the mafia and tried to incriminate him.
 * "Dan*" - Attempted to hit a Nun with his car and crashed into a church.
 * "The Family Camping Trip" - Tried to wreck Elise's trip with Chris and her parents, and scared kids away (though he didn't expect the victims to be children).

Season 2

 * "The Family Thanksgiving" - set the house on fire.
 * "The Neighbors" - Wrecked the new neighbors' (who are presumed by Dan to be cannibals) house with cockroaches.
 * "The Bank" - Tried to rob a bank.
 * "The Gym" - Broke into Chad's gym and tampered with all of his equipment.
 * "Gigundo-Mart" - Stole Elise's shrink ray and shrunk her.
 * "Chris" - Threatened to steal Chris' death ray gun and go after him, threw a skunk inside Chris' house, set up Chris' house on fire, and almost tried to knock Chris off a cliff (similar to when Scar killed Mufasa in The Lion King, except that Dan did not kill Chris, Chris actually apoligized to him about the fight.)

Season 3

 * "Anger Management" - Nearly started World War III in an attempt to kill a family of squirrels with nuclear weapons, and caused an angry mob of fellow students to attack Amber's car.
 * "The Boss" - Helped the boss try to kill Chris, though it was revealed that he was only pretending to follow her orders.
 * "The Mechanic" - Bullied Elise and tortured Chris.
 * "The High School Reunion" - Tried to destroy a high school reunion.
 * "The Superhero" - Attempted revenge on a superhero called Terrifi-Guy, for destroying his car, and became a supervillain called "Dr. Jerk". However, Dan's car is often involved in destruction, and shortly after Terrifi-Guy was unaware that he destroyed his car, Dan stated that he doesn't have auto insurance.

Quotes
"This isn't the movies - THIS IS REAL LIFE! STOP LIVING IN A FANTASY WORLD! THE WOLFMAN SCRATCHED MY CAR, AND HE MUST PAY! NEXT MONTH!"

- Dan yelling at Chris about the Wolfman scratching his car.

"Why should I change? I'm great! It's everyone else who sucks."

- Dan after getting his impostor arrested "Dan: What do you mean you can't mail over killer bees? I need killer bees! YOU SEND ME....oh hold on. Chris: Hey Dan. Dan: Oh, Chris, good. Have you finally come to your senses? Chris: I'm still going camping if that's what you mean. Dan: Hey, that reminds me, what food allergies to Elise's parents have?"

- Dan planning to sabotage Chris and Elise's Family Camping Trip "I don't care if you sprang fully-formed from the head of Zeus! You messed up! Either give me what I paid for, or give me my money back!"

- Dan to Jeff "WHAT!? You people are supposed to hate this! I did not tamper with this equipment all night so you masochists could enjoy yourselves!"

- Dan raging at the people enjoying how he tampered with the gym equipment in "Dan vs the Gym" "How DARE YOU LET YOUR MACHINE PICK UP! You are scum! You are worthless, spineless, and rotten to the corpse! That's it! We are no longer friends - I hate you! We are DONE. If you ever try to speak to me again, I WILL LITERALLY STRANGLE YOU!"

- Dan threatening and insulting Chris for not picking up his phone.

"Revenge is a dish best served immediately."

- Dan claiming revenge.

Trivia

 * He was voiced by Curtis Armstrong, who is known for the role of Dudley "Booger" Dawson from Revenge of the Nerds, and playing Snot in American Dad. Armstrong also appeared as Metatron on Supernatural.
 * In "Elise's Parents", Dan tells Elise that he has no dental records. A possible nod to The Dentist in which he stole his own records to prove that his dentist was a supervillain.
 * In the episode "Dan*", it is shown that Dan is 5"6"  in height, weighs 105 lbs, and was born on October 31, 1975.
 * Chris is rumored to be his only friend. Despite this, he has a friend named Ted, who is on Dan's list and has yet to appear in the series.
 * As mentioned in "Dan", Dan has a football table, but he claims he is an "air hockey man".
 * Dan has many characteristics similar to that of Yzma, the villain of the Walt Disney Pictures feature film titled The Emperor's New Groove; both are loud, both mistreat their right-hand men due to their incompetence and stupidity, and both also force their minions to do things that are evil. They also share the point of being maniacal and psychopathic.
 * In a short promo for both series, the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, character Pinkie Pie painted Dan's car pink for absolutely no reason, causing him to shout her name in anger. It is not explained how or why she painted his car or ended up in his universe.