User:UnknownOutcast

DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU ARE OVER 18 AND GET CONTEXT THAT IS OUTSIDE OF THE NORM AND WANT TO SPEND YOUR TIME READING A WALL OF TEXT-VENT.

I'd rather not have to deal with guild politics, but if it makes things better to implement something without mudslinging and hurting other people, just do good with it, pointing out corruption when it's evident is a responsibility but the type of mudslinging that is based on malicious lies is to be avoided. If I feel responsible for putting you in a predicament in the first place... I am loyal to a point and that's only where morals are concerned. In the past, I have tried to remain uncorrupted but I've made choices that I regret and would never do again... I don't betray people who are loyal to me, but I also wouldn't allow something that morally crossed a line. I'm certainly not corrupt now and to point out that I'm corrupt now would be incorrect, there's perhaps someone out there that would have you believe that I'm corrupt only because they dislike/hate me and will use anything to discredit me even if it's for the flimsiest of reasons and display a profound sense of superiority and hypocrisy that grates on my nerves. If you're really out to do good, then it's not like I'm going to say you can't, but my goal is the same in that I'm in it for good and if you're going to tell me I'm trash, that only reflects badly on you. Heh, I may not look that great but I am a truly kind, loyal person with morals if you get past what I used to look like. People can dislike me for what I looked like but that doesn't mean that they know me because at the end of the day, this is what I actually am inside, just don't expect me to be nice to you if you're an asshole. Right, I don't 'frame' people for something they don't do and don't frame people to cover for myself or don't frame people at all (since I tend to take the blame), but maybe I do have the wrong information sometimes. I don't really care for fame. I don't ruin relationships because I want someone to love me rather than someone else or I don't ruin relationships because I'm jealous. I even attempt to patch up relationships that I think are salvageable and am willing to give other people a chance. Money can help other people, but it's not something I'm willing to do anything for and it's not something I care about over friendship or morals. I'd only want to marry someone I actually love instead of for money, but people have their own preferences and draw up their own terms and may know about the reasons why they marry someone beforehand, which I'm not going to judge. I don't make people do work if they aren't feeling up to it because I'm not a slave-driver and I don't threaten people to do work by beating them. It's not that much for myself either. I do try to do work when I'm not feeling unwell or am not thinking about something that's bothering me. Most often I don't trash-talk. If I'm cursing your name by calling you an asshole it's because of how you treat me and other people by how you look. People aren't always what they look like, they may display something that they don't actually believe in, for certain reasons. There's probably some responsibility in there, but people aren't always what they look like. I would rather reform something than destroy it... and I'm not cruel or don't pretend to be kind and loving. I'm pretty tolerant of failure to a point... in the traditional sense such as making a spelling mistake or not succeeding at a game, but I'll probably point it out if you ask for constructive criticism and offer advice. I feel like it's better to lose than to win by doing something totally out of the line. It's not like I demanded to be leader of anything, but it does look like that in the past, I just got annoyed when people mocked me for not being one and implied that I couldn't be leader because I lacked the ability, otherwise I would've been fine not being one. Hell, I don't even care about being leader. It's a responsibility and something to be used for good rather than something to get out of selfish desire for personal power. It wasn't only myself that I cared about in regards to that and I felt really conflicted on decisions, but that part of my life is over and I have no wish to hold grudges over something that's already been forgiven, done and fixed because it would be petty.

Dear Walker, kindly leave me alone and I will leave you alone forever, unless you actually care about me enough to hold on to what's left. It feels like you don't and it feels like you're just going to insult me every time we meet and it felt unbearable to be around you at times... I hated your online persona for reasons that you know about. Knowing that it's you, it oddly makes me hate you less, even not hate you at all, but I meant it when I said I didn't agree to what you were saying because it just felt like it was mean-spirited, but maybe you weren't really showing me what you're like outside of that online persona. It pissed me off when you or someone who looked like you said a bunch of stuff obviously meant to offend... I didn't appreciate it when a few lies and insults were said about my friends and a few people that I felt did not deserve it, if I'm going to be honest. I finally realized who you were when we met again on a game. I was trying to figure out who you were when you mentioned your ex. If you care about me as a friend, I will likely care about you as a friend. If you don't, then I suppose I will be on my way.

Dear Bear, I never meant to abandon you and did care for you because you had cared for me, the place I used to call home feels less like the home I used to have, but the people I still care for are still there once in a while. I'm too much of a coward and too shy in terms of relationships to reach the place because it simply doesn't feel like home anymore. The only things that would make it home would be the people there, but I did want you and them to know that I cared. If you're happier somewhere else, I'm not going to ruin that, but do the right thing wherever you may be. Let me be happy elsewhere.

Not a sadist. If anything it's actually opposite. I'm not going to ruin my life over it or degrade myself. Ironically, I have a deep seeded depression that's ruining my life. That makes me unable to think clearly or function even when I try. It's even harder when there's things to be depressed about. The last time I was happy in misery was when I was still friends with my old friends.

I really do not mind being replaced as long as the person replacing me is someone that can be trusted to hold the position I was previously entrusted to hold. If I wasn't fit for it and didn't have time for it, then it's probably better if I just quit or left it in someone elses' hands or probably better if I come back later when I the have time and am fit for it. Guild politics depends on what type of guild you want to run. There's room for some mistakes in Guild politics that you want to avoid but are okay to make occasionally because the repercussions are just digital, its the psychological and physical effects you have to worry about. No one wants to find all their work gone to waste. You are playing with human lives on the internet that can reach into real life. I kinda got sick of serving someone who didn't seem to initially care for me much. By caring, I mean they probably would not have cared if I died. I never even told anyone else to die because I always stopped myself from going too far even when I'm not in a good mood because I always support life rather than death. I've already forgiven people for the past, as for whether I'm forgiven, I don't know though if I were to be honest I'd rather not go back, the only thing that kept me there were certain people. I think though, that people might not look nice on the outside, they might be on the inside; I'd like to believe in that niceness but I'm not delusional, people aren't always nice. People change and try. Spent online trying to honestly help other people in the past. Strength isn't about being a bully though maybe I was weak. I'd like to think I'm stronger than I was before, at least I'm trying. I'm not going to give up and die now. At some point, I didn't really care if I died in another sense and told others to let me die. Someone said I deserved to die, but you know what I determined? I didn't deserve to. I couldn't bring myself to kill anyone in another sense. When I refer to killing it is not real murder but a form of social intent. I'm the type of person who wants to give others a chance when it's reasonable. Maybe images are what make me deserve to die but at heart, I was good but somehow lost sight of it. I tried to kill myself in some way because I didn't care whether I died in another sense only whether I deserved to die and whether others died for me. My biggest regret is if other people died for me. Living is a matter of persevering when things get rough or fine or great in a sense. I could live again in another part of the internet but it'd probably be painful. I've lost who knows how many things... Thinking back on it, the only thing I really wanted from the past was a real friend and to do good. Now I'm probably alone in spirit from people of the past. I rather have friends than underlings. Car, even if it didn't look like I cared for you, I did. I wish you happiness. I know it's too late to say this however. There were other people I cared for too and there were other people who were nice to me... I couldn't bring myself to make a decision though and things happened. I would have been happier not having to make the decision between people or not get caught up in guild politics like that, but stuff happens and I tend to feel responsible in the way that maybe if I said something else, then maybe they wouldn't have said this or done something. I try being loyal to people who are loyal to me within the scope of acceptable morality and acceptable law. Cheers though, if anyone cared for me in my past, but I'd understand if certain people don't anymore. Everyone has to move on sometime and I wouldn't want anyone waiting on me instead of focusing on their own life. I don't want the past to define who I am now and I know neither do other people... I just kinda hoped I could talk to other people again.

I see things. Ranging from a message that might be hinting that I'm a burden to someone who doesn't want me anymore, someone calling me fat or... It doesn't matter. I never asked anyone to do anything big for me, you know? I'm grateful that they even did something for me. I feel bad if I'm responsible for a potentially bad decision that hurt other people. I like taking what others think of as lesser in value and polishing it maybe because I feel like I'm considered of lesser value; another person's trash is another person's treasure. I don't weigh a person's value by how useful they are to me.

I had a good heart too, though I didn't always look nice to some other people mainly because I don't respond that nicely to someone who says something mean first and because things aren't always what it looks like. I'm not perfect, I can feel emotions that are probably best left unsaid. It's not like I couldn't see other people had a good heart either, but I'm not delusional enough to think that me or anyone is perfect. People have flaws, but most people do have redeeming qualities I'd like to think. I like to think of the better nature. People change, I believe in that and the past? It doesn't always define who you are now. People aren't always what they look like. I was sort of the person that kinda got annoyed by people bragging about sexual conquests. It's not that I looked down on sexually promiscuous people, rather it's the intent, but people can actually care about others even if they brag. I never feud with other women merely because of a guy I like... I attempt to respect others but don't expect me to respect you for being an asshole.

I never actually cared much about power despite looking as if I did, but I think it could be used for good if anyone acquired it. There's the issue of methods taken to acquiring it and the acquisition of it which can conflict with ones' sense of morals and the greater good. I'm a good person regardless of what other people think of me and I am loyal to a point, but I did feel mentally unstable once. I like the reformist route. Someone once told me that they lied for good, not all lies are bad, but there's ones that are obviously bad lies. It's not always black and white, there's probably other reasons why anyone does something. I don't frame people. I feel like not everything is finite and that it's not too late for anyone to redeem themselves, but we all probably want to prevent big mistakes. If I had a choice, I would probably not want to kill innocent people or influence people to be evil.

I can't expect everyone to like me, who knows I might be Marie Medici, hated by the subjects of my husband, King Henry IV, for reasons that range from not knowing me at all or maybe it's because I just don't look hot enough. If I'm hated, I'd rather be the kind of person who was good. I'd like to think I'm not a moron just because someone tells me I am. At least I'm not an asshole. I'm capable of running a guild and thinking clearly in a political and business-like manner, I'd just rather enjoy company and think of the current guild I'm in as family, but that doesn't mean I will agree with everything other people say. I'm older than when I was. I have years of depression under my belt. I've been a bit of a moving body and mouth, with headaches that feel like my brain has sometimes short-circuited... I'm capable of understanding deep material learned from books, but socially, I'm sometimes un-attentive or don't think too much before typing or speaking; I understand other people socially when I look back, but it doesn't always translate through text or mouth immediately. Some people think I have autism. Everyone learns, some at a slower pace than other people, but as long as you try your best, learn, have a good attitude, what does it matter if someone is more intelligent than another. I mean, if people try, they can become able to do something eventually. I feel that stepping over people is something that should be avoided.

Some people don't really know me if all they're seeing is what's on the outside of the past... Yeah, I was a little bit unstable, but I never meant to harm anyone who didn't deserve it and I always gave other people a second chance. I stopped myself from harming other people even if I felt that they might've deserved it. I tried to do the right thing but I also owe other people too. I've always had this feeling that I was watched since a long time ago... I merely want to disappear in the background, but I know it probably is too late to talk to people who might not even want to associate with me. I don't really care for popularity much. I do appreciate it, but it isn't everything. Think I'm unpopular right now but that's fine. I don't always agree with other people. There's specific people who are important to me that I probably already lost. I know I gotta move, but I'm not one to just abandon people who I've had a connection with, at least in spirit; moving forward while looking back. It's alright though if they don't feel like associating with me anymore. I'm not the kind of person to ruin someone elses' happiness just because they dumped me or just because I'm jealous. If someone's going to dump me I'd rather they say it to my face. Though, I am rarely jealous. I'm really not as bad as people think I might be.

Yeah, being compared to Darla Dimple simply makes me laugh because if this is what I'm being compared to, then honestly, you don't really don't know me that well. Let's see, do I hate animals? Nope, but I do dislike trolling in general. I also dislike assholes, but if they're my friend all I will do is disagree with them and probably try prevent anything bad from happening; I honestly would not hold it against others to disagree with me if they think I'm over the line. I'm loyal to people who are loyal to me and I do have morals.

I never really cared much for possessing the throne. Power is a medium to do good and help other people. I don't know, I rather keep real friends over a throne, but why not do good once you do have power right but it really is regrettable to use tactics that probably crosses a line, but then again maybe it's justified because your opponents had previously used them against you unfairly. The past is already written, the present and future can be changed. I'd honestly rather take the reform route, but the reform route doesn't always work. Reform I feel is the better option than destruction.

= HATE YOU - 2NE1 = I'm honestly fine living away from assholes. I wish assholes would change. There's very few people that I hate. Does this make me a psychotic blond willing to do anything to maintain popularity including stepping over others? That really isn't me though it might be how I used to look... I think about morals a lot. I am human enough to make mistakes, at least, I try not to be evil and try to be a good person. I do in fact actually care for children and animals in real life, but you didn't hear that from me. XD

I could be scared of a lot of things but being threatened by a random person on the internet when I know they're not really going to kill me isn't one of them. Why am I on here writing a bunch of things most people don't really care to read due the amount of text and because I'm not interesting enough? Maybe I'm looking for a sign about the status of my relationship towards certain people, because it's easier than approaching people directly and because of therapy.

There's context to be considered. Being a child is associated with immaturity in some ways, but it isn't really meant to infer an insult just because they're a child, rather childish behavior. Adults can act just as immature as a child. People aren't always what they look like though, maybe they're actually a jerk with a heart of gold. Real friends are hard to find. A real friend will be there for you in spirit even after if you make mistakes and realize it. I'll probably be insulted if you think I don't have decent morals. I also almost never trashtalk and I'm not that arrogant - I might secretly say screw everyone somewhere out of mental instability because being followed everywhere I go and having people read what I write before I even type it makes me feel claustrophobic. Yeah, being threatened doesn't help my mental stability much. I'm grateful though for people who've attempted to be nice to me. I have tried to give people a chance, I mean I believe that people change. I've said this. Screw it though, I'll make my own way in life without worrying about labels or popularity and just do what I think is right and treasure what's important to me. I do appreciate it when people are nice to me though I might not always voice it constantly. I'm an outcast now, but I'm happier not being famous because it means I'm free to be myself. I get tired of people going out of their way to imply something about me (who has time to do this). Though, I do appreciate when it's intended to be a nice gesture, I know it isn't always a gesture that's meant to be nice. What upsets me the most is probably losing real friends. That's the only thing that I ever cared that I lost. I'm going to pick myself up from the past. If you were to try to kill me now I'd make an effort to stay alive in another world. Signing off before I spend an evening doing therapy writing. ;)

Mirror mirror on the wall, I don't give a crap at all, it doesn't matter what it says, because I'll rewrite it and say this isn't who I am, at my heart I am actually not that bad, metaphors yaya. I haven't rewritten anything but my own wall because I know this is a wikia where valid information is supposed to be presented, edited and stored correctly. Then there are those who don't really know what kind of person I am based on an image of the PAST. I am a good person. I am kind. Expecting me to be nice to you for being an asshole? Don't count on it.

If I had to choose between popularity by masses of people and a real friend, I'd rather choose a real friend within morally acceptable boundaries. Don't be that arrogant gloating over my dead body... I'm not in pain for that; the only reason that you killed me in another sense is because I let you. It would only pain me if you were someone who had cared for me or if I cared about you. I can resurrect myself any time I want, but why don't I? I feel like there's not much for me to go back for except for certain people and I want to go back for certain people. In the end the only thing I wanted was to have real friends and control myself to do good. Seriously, I'm not evil but I do make mistakes... Despite what someone might say about me. It's crap for someone to tell me I tormented them and if they're going to say I tormented them then why don't they look at their own actions. Don't expect me to be nice to you for being an asshole. I always try not to cross moral lines, try to show empathy (though I feel like people are only looking at the surface when I state what type of shows I find interesting and don't find sad) and wind up biting the bullet for other people. I'm so tired of doing this for anyone who could care less. I'm so tired of trying to make other people happy. I always try though because at the end of the day I keep hoping for change. Perhaps they are stuck on seeing me as an antagonist to their protagonist. I'd rather people change for the better than be perpetually stuck as an asshole, but I digress I am not an asshole at heart and always try not to be. There's people out there that were nice to me that I am truly greatful that they were nice to me. I'm not like Cersei though, I don't frame other people, I'm not a cruel person, I don't care much about power, I don't even sleep around with other people, I didn't kill anyone. I'm actually a good person. I'm not going to rot in a dungeon eating water off the floor, but to survive maybe I would. Things aren't what they seem. I'm completely fine with forgive and forget when it's reasonable. I didn't invite anyone to a guild with the intention of humiliating anyone. Tell me what I deserve when most people don't really know me from the PAST. I'm pretty much done with politics from the PAST. I don't hurt people who don't deserve it and I show reluctance to even hurt people because at the end of the day I feel that if I am using low tactics it makes me just as bad as other people. I try not to use tactics that I feel cross a line and I honestly try not to hurt people. I showed empathy when it counted. If you're gay, lesbian or bisexual, I don't even think that should be a problem and think that it isn't wrong. I feel though, that it's not always what it looks like and people aren't half as bad as they might look like. I'm not that great at expressing myself... but I am not as dumb as people make me out to be and I am fully capable of being intelligent; I am however, not the kind of person that Cersei is when it comes to others meaning I'm not cruel, I'm not violent, don't frame others, don't care about power, don't kill anyone and actually care for people other than my damn self and am loyal within morally acceptable bounds, but on the surface perhaps it does not look like it. Power is only a vessel to do good. I did not do everything for my own benefit. I feel like I sacrificed my image and have been rebuilding a sense of self over the years. I feel like life lost is regrettable. I tend to not quarrel or fight with other women. The reason I hate Game of Thrones is because it displays a world which caters to a male audience fantasy and it is sexist. All I can say is that I don't personally think I deserve to die and everyone else who says I do, can go live their own life without me; I will live mine doing what I think is right and caring in another world after making peace with the past. - Victoria

It's not true for someone to accuse me of trying to kill someone specially if it's someone I cared about, because they perhaps do not know me enough to judge me and be right about it. I honestly avoid killing anyone in another sense if it is possible and avoid killing when given the chance, looking at it most people probably do not understand the context with which I'm writing. When I refer to killing it is not real murder but a form of social intent. I'm the type of person who wants to give others a chance when it's reasonable. Not many people know that I planned to die in another sense, but after my death I feel more of a reason to live in another world. The world I used to live in was complicated in which people aren't always what they looked like. I feel like being jealous over someone elses' popularity and boyfriend is not a good enough reason to be a bitch and do everything to ruin someone elses' life... I swing both ways leaning my preference on the woman side and I don't spread malicious rumours about other people; I don't lie about someone else to maintain my own popularity or to ruin someone elses' popularity. My motivations weren't or aren't based on popularity. I never put anyone down for being weird because I myself am weird. I am nice, if you're not a continuous asshole, but then again I try seeing both good sides and bad sides of one so I don't become biased in judgement. If you apologize and mean it, then there's really no reason for me to say "apology not accepted". I will disagree on issues that I disagree on however.

I'd like to think I am not abusive... I never cared about taking over and I didn't massacre whole cities. People just don't really understand me. I value friendship so much that I don't persuade people to end their friendships or relationships with others; it's different if they're blatantly abusive since I would probably suggest looking out for your own safety instead of staying with someone who will be abusive without visible change. The only thing from the past I wanted to potentially do was to feel old friends in spirit with me, that I wasn't abandoned and they might care for me like I still care for others, but life moves on and know I can't change the past and I and others have to keep on moving. I am vain, this is evident, in the way that I write on this wall, because I feel lighter when unloading and addressing all the issues that I had in the past about assumptions and images, but I'm not that self-centered and do try to think about other people. Yeah, uhhh, I'm not a seductress at all, I kinda fail at that actually; I don't steal boyfriends and girlfriends at all and I don't cheat. I never launched metaphorical missiles or even thought of launching missiles at anything. I am trying to one day be able to help other people out and do give advice and food to people if I can... but it's not like I constantly announce what I do offline but I've been online for more than what I should be doing for other reasons. What are some of the reasons celebrities endorse charities? I don't want to endorse charities for the sole reason that they help maintain a good image and benefits only myself. A good image just helps you be more flexible to do something good. Celebrity endorsements do help even if it's for the wrong reasons like boosting your own vanity. I am vain in the way that I constantly reflect on how people see me and what kind of person I am and I do have enough pride, just not enough that I don't acknowledge when people change or that they might be misunderstood, but it's not the reason I want to be doing something good. I respect philanthropy. I can't imagine living under the paparazzi as a celebrity. I don't have the money to be self-indulgent and if I did have the money, it would go towards survival, repaying something back and helping others in the long run. I remember when I didn't have to think about these things constantly. Hint: If I were a mother, in this case Jianying, I would be horrified that I would be the kind that would kill her own daughter in order to prolong her own life. I would not kill someone like Skye because I like people who are nice and compassionate. Skye is the kind of person I'd never think of killing in another sense.

I am not elitist or racist; I don't stand for it and I do like to think I don't treat people like crap (Really not as bad as what my past self looks like)... I did try to help and there can be reasons why anyone does anything. I'm not mean, there would be all these assumptions about me for me saying something... I did used to publicly reject offers of cybering and say something about kicking someone in the balls out of irritation for certain reasons and I can't remember if I said anything about castration, I really can't remember that well but I was younger. I never felt hatred towards these people and it didn't register emotionally as hatred back then either. Not many things really registered as hatred, merely opposition to something or someone. I'm not violent but I probably didn't look that peaceful what with some of the things I have said. I have stated my opposition to violence at times in the past but I thought self defense as understandable. I remember making jokes that I've regretted but they were never really meant to be read as mean, they were more along the lines of a list of horrible jokes not meant to be taken seriously. I made a couple jokes that I forever regret, but I have stated my true feelings regarding those those subjects. I'm a lot more careful about what jokes I tell nowadays. The main thing is, I have morals. I like redemption. It's kind of like what I desire for myself and other people. If you care about me then I will most likely care about you more than general caring of being a human being as a form of attachment. I'm not closed off on new people I meet.

There is a difference between editing a wiki based on vandalism, professionalism and personal reasons. Recent activity on the villains wiki made me think about this and I do not know how to process what just happened because I have no prior information on events that have happened: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_warfare I am innocent of being a troll. Takes a bit of work but things can be fixed by persevering.

My status concerning love rivals has and will always be that I don't bother to fight them. I always tell other people to hold on to what they have if it's important to them and that if they truly love that person, then I'm not the type to get in the way of true love. I wasn't really focused on falling in love back then, but then it happened and now I'm alone in terms of finding love with the person I want; I just want people to be happy even if it's without me.

Dear Car, Shady, Mani, Deejay, x3, Alc, Mason, James, Orange, I am listing you guys as people I care for because I do not want you to think I didn't care because I felt cared for by you all in the past. Jad, Luci, rianne, OS, I am grateful for having met you guys because you were nice and never intended to come off badly towards you lot. Anyone else who cared for me, has my return and my care in spirit. I'm not a hatemonger, but if I'm hated for standing up for beliefs that I think are right, then there is nothing I can do. I would hate ideals that support racism, sexism, homophobia, corruption and serious crimes that harm people. I seek to understand why others support these causes and offer solutions instead of being detrimental to progress. I'm not a bully, but I'll fight for what I believe in, in the most non-bloodshed and respectful way possible. Perception others have of me, although they might not even understand the context with which I speak. I can't blame others for having these perceptions when I am not good at communication and present myself in a way that seems suspect, but I'll probably try to explain if you don't leave immediately after such misunderstandings. I have too much pride to beg for my life on the internet... If you think I'm going to beg for my life over your internet threats, fridge you and all the rumors about me, but it doesn't mean I'm immune to pain. I didn't kill anyone (in a social sense) or framed anyone even though I could've chosen to do so if I had a major grudge and if I was determined to destroy others (which I'm not), but that'd be petty when people change and I can't remember the countless times I've given others chances at my expense, but things aren't always what they seem. I rather take the reform route than destruction. You probably don't know my motivations enough to really judge me. Go ahead and make assumptions, that don't always mean that they're true. I'm not crying because you're threatening me or trying to take me down; I'm more likely to cry because of the pain of relationships and pains of knowing that those who previously cared for me resent and hate me and would rather leave me to die and others' pains. Then again, I don't care and shouldn't care about the emotional pain inflicted by others towards me for reasons that aren't really reasonable because it's best to move on from it rather than dwell in it. I'm not all that bad of a person. I'll live without those who rather I was dead and would rather I suffer, but I'll probably encounter somebody in life along the way that presents conflict anyway; I can either deal with it or ignore it entirely if the energy it takes to deal with it is a time waster and presents a problem in which it is unlikely to be solved. Ranks, power and money, they don't matter to me, they're just tools for good and I'd rather take real friends. Perhaps I'm not needed to others and I am rather useless to them, but I don't form friendships on the basis of need. From time to time it is nice to have emotional and physical support when you actually do need it. I think everyone has the potential to contribute to a good future. Hate is like taking the poison and expecting the other person to die; there's few people that I hate, but even if I did, I don't tell them that they should die and frequently tell them I disagree with them to the point I think some people should change their mindsets about things... I'm not really evil. Though in the past, people who look at me from a surface point of view won't always understand why I've done certain things.

If I was a villain, I'd be a suicidal one, in the past. I'd feel like I'd want to get even (when I cease to have a reason to get even {even in a hopefully honorable way}, I am able to forgive.), but be conflicted about it because of factors including attachments and just what kind of person I'd be and what the right thing to do is. I know I'm not perfect, but I don't want to sacrifice other people to achieve something and people have different levels of evil, myself included. I want to think I'm good for the most part... I'd rather lose the crown than lose real friends but I probably lost both anyway... It was never a female's crown, but yeah I wouldn't mind a younger, more beautiful, more kind and more competent queen or princess to replace me. I'd only take it if I was fit to, needed to. I don't think I was fit to and I didn't mind passing it to someone else. Well I'm obviously not a misogynist. To have someone framed isn't something I'd be willing to do and I wouldn't trick people out of their money. If you threaten to kill me first, do you really expect me to say, gee thanks man, for threatening to kill me? It doesn't matter anymore, I've already forgiven you, other people. I can only hope I'm forgiven for portraying an image that doesn't really represent who I am. I might have died in disgrace in my former life but I can't bring myself to care... The world can spit on my image; it doesn't make me who I am now and who I will be in the future, or even the past. The only thing I wanted to come back for were friends. After serving other people for so long, I'm tired of doing something for other people at a large expense to myself. I can be a little selfish, but not extremely so to the point of greed or to the point where I think that my needs are more important than everyone elses'. I really do appreciate good intentions from other people even though I know it doesn't look like it sometimes. I do genuinely want to help other people, but in some level, I know I need to help myself in order for me to help others, but I do help others when I can and am able to. I never called people losers, but I did say that there are winners and losers... It's not in a mean way; I only ever called myself one. If I call somebody weak, it's never in a mean way... I am weak myself. I never call anyone weak in a mean way. If I say you aren't worth my time, it's probably because you're either trash-talking or keep being hostile/threatening towards me or others for flimsy reasons and I have tried to either put up with it or move past that or understand it or disagree. I believe people can change. In the past, there's probably things I said that don't make sense to others but would make sense to me. I think that as long as you try your best and you don't step over the line, it won't matter if you have lost most of the time. Losing is a learning experience... It was never my intention to take over the earth or to win at the cost of everything else, but to influence good and keep other people alive. I'm not greedy... If I was rich, I'd just help others and survive because I don't need a mansion to live a fulfilling life and I'm not willing to do everything to become rich; I'm not willing to exploit other people or do something horrible. I do want to live now. I'm sane, but had about one period where I didn't seem to have the best mental health... I didn't order people to kill each other or themselves, if I did it was only for certain reasons or to kill myself... I did order the stop of chaos agents in the past, but I couldn't really bring myself to kill others... and I might get flak for saying it... I'm not violent and if people change, I'm not going to hold it against them. There's some actions that do need to be held accountable, but if people have already reformed, then there's no reason to bring it up. You can hate me, but it doesn't mean you're right about me or understand me or know me... I don't frame other people. I also do not become jealous easily even if before I claimed to be jealous of someone's close relationships... I don't do something horrible out of jealousy for another person. Chaos agents are different than peaceful political protesters or rebels seeking to change a broken and corrupt system for good, it's just there's other ways to change a broken and corrupt system for good. There's honestly very few people that I hate personally regardless of gender and there's one that got taken out of my list a while ago (I would still disagree with said person over certain things if said person continued to sprout something I'd find disagreeable)... I don't like betraying people or letting people die, specially those who are loyal to me and I am pretty loyal, unless it somehow conflicts with my sense of morals... I did genuinely care for other people than myself... I did try to care for other people in the past. I'd get tired of working or attending to people who wouldn't care for me in the slightest and might would rather I die. I would however, appreciate people when it's warranted. I also do not attempt break relationships up, but I'll be pretty honest about what I think about someone else and will say something about somebody I think does not have the best intentions, I kind of patch others relationships up if I think it's not abusive/threatening/violent and can still be fixed to keep staying with someone. I've done things that I have regretted, but still if someone else could've better attended to other peoples needs I would gladly give up my rank to another... I always tried to attend to other peoples needs, but my issues sometimes prevent me from moving and I've got real life to attend to. I wasn't that selfish or cruel, regardless of what someone else says of me because sometimes people may biased in the way they look at things and people don't necessarily look at the pain that others have... I am vain in the way that I'm constantly reflecting about what type of person I am, but what I look like doesn't necessarily mean it's the true me... The queen of hearts was only a mask that probably stained the way people looked at me in the past. Trolls are going to troll. I tried to do good... Sacrificing people is still something I wouldn't do. I died before I could really prove myself, but to stay would've probably been painful... I'd rather keep true friends and find a place to call home and keep moving because I can't take back the past no matter how much I want to do things differently. I don't want to be the kind of person that everyone would hate for a valid reason.

In real life, there's nothing wrong with running for your life if you know you'll get killed, even if you started it. Maybe you wanted to stand up for a good cause. Better to live, than to forfeit your life or leave a bad legacy, but it is good to do the right thing. It however, doesn't always lead to do something good happening, but sometimes does. In real life good guys and girls don't always win, but neither do bad guys or bad girls always win. Who's bad or good isn't always clear cut.

._.

Rock, Paper, Scissors - Katzenjammer

In The End - Linkin Park

Just One Yesterday - Fall Out Boy

Part of what this song means to me I'd go back if I could for just one yesterday for the people I care for even if there were previously bad blood in the past that was rather painful, I'd forgive what happened in the past if it was reasonable, but I know it doesn't always mean I'm forgiven. I don't have the right name or right looks, but I have twice the heart. I want to teach you a lesson in the worse kind of way, but still I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday before the bad times. (I think I'm bad news). Letting people down is my thing. (Being a disappointment in their eyes). If heaven's grief brings hell's reign, then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday.

Favorite Antagonists

(Danny Phantom) Walker - He adds rules, whatever it takes to preserve order and even makes them up to justify enforcing his rules as a warden in the Ghost Zone. I find his stickler for rules to have some humor in it.

(Danny Phantom) Vlad Masters - He seems like a guy just wanting somebody to love him, but he's the sort of person to do the wrong type of things to achieve his goals, like killing or stealing. I remember in a different timeline where he regretted his mistakes and had time to think over them.

(Yu-Gi-Oh) Maximillion Pegasus - He just wanted to revive his dead wife, but went about it the wrong way.

(Bleach) Ichimaru Gin - Fox face, he at least cared for Matsumoto Rangiku and saved her life.

(Yu-Gi-Oh) Kaiba - He does care for Mokuba, is willing to do anything to rescue him and did save Kisara, but he does look like a jerk. He is a multilayer jerk that seems to reluctantly help out and grew up in a harsh environment with an overly demanding adoptive father that was often abusive and cruel.

(Harry Potter) Severus Snape - He just wanted to impress the girl of his dreams who was married to someone who bullied him and then joined the Death Eaters to spy for Albus Dumbledore.

(Harry Potter) Voldemort - He is described as a self-hating bully. Self-hating implies that he doesn't like what he is, but he killed peoples which include Harry's parents.

(Harry Potter) Draco - Draco in leather pants! He did fear for his family and was reluctant to kill Dumbledore. He was a kid back then, probably didn't know what he was doing to other people.

(Naruto) Itachi Uchiha - He isn't what he looks like.

(Naruto) Sasuke Uchiha - He had a horrible childhood which probably influenced him to become who he is, but in the end he does redeem himself.

(Cat's Don't Dance) - Max, wish he didn't follow orders to frame people, but he is tough looking and is probably the only one who tried to reach out to Darla after her fall on stage.

Favorite Protagonists

(Cat's Don't Dance) - Danny, Sawyer, Pudge. They're friendly. Keep the fame and be happy. I want out of fame anyway. It pains me to think about the times we had through my insecurity of uncertainty. I do miss you guys and love one of you so much that it hurts to think about it, but I realize the possibility of being unwanted because of my image... I don't even care if I fall. I need to pick myself up and can't linger in the pain of the past.

(Danny Phantom) - Danny Phantom/Fenton, Jack Fenton, Maddie Fenton, Jazz Fenton, Sam Manson, Tucker Foley, Valerie Gray, Kwan and Star.

(The Great Gatsby) - James Gatsby, Nick Caraway, Dan Cody, Jordan, Daisy Buchanan.

(Code Geass) - Lelouche Lamperouge, he cares for his sister and other people besides himself. He was willing to stand up in front of his father for her. Found it sad when Rolo, Shirley, Euphemia died too though.

(Harry Potter) - Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione.

(Pandora Hearts) - Oz Vessalius, Gilbert Nightray, Alice, Jack Vessalius.

(Durarara) Shizuo Heiwajima - I forgot to change him to a protagonist category. I was in such a hurry to write him down I forgot to move him from antagonist to protagonist. He doesn't want to be violent but often gets angry and says something that costs him his job. He gets framed for crimes that are either actually committed by Izaya or lies.

(Durarara) Masaomi Kida - Flirts with girls which kinda doesn't work. He's outwardly happy, but went through a darkside at one point in his life, which he attempts to dissuade Mikado from. He's extremely loyal to people he cares about and he did care enough about Saki Mikajima in order to rescue her.

(The Hunchback of Notredam) - Quasimodo, I like him because he's a kind person inside even if his outward appearance does not reflect who he is inside.

(Naruto) Naruto Uzumaki - He's cheerful, doesn't give up and is friendly despite people being afraid of him because of Kurama being sealed inside him when he was young.

(Yugioh) - Joey Wheeler, he cares about his sister and is really a kind and caring person deep down his thug appearance. Yugi, cuz he's a darn nice guy, who doesn't like a nice guy? :)

(Hellsing) Alucard - Can't forget him. Technically, he's a villain protagonist. I like to think that he's nicer than he looks.

(Bleach) Ichigo Kurosaki -

(Bleach) Yasutora Sado - Cuz he's a gentle giant!

(Resident Evil) Chris Redfield -

(Beauty & The Beast) - The Beast

(One Piece) - Portgas D. Ace, Edward Newgate, Monkey D. Luffy, Smoker

(Aladdin) - Aladdin, he has a kind heart and just wanted to impress someone. He only steals for survival. Genie, so blue and friendly, he's hug-able.

(Dragon Ball Z) - Hercule, despite being weaker than super-powered beings from another planet and a showboating person, he truly cares about defending the weak and justice. He's one of the most funniest characters of the series. Buu gets another chance because of him and Goku. Piccolo, he redeems himself and thinks of Gohan as a son, his later personality is awesome. Vegeta, he redeems himself and does care for his family.

Least Favorite Antagonists

(Durarara) Izaya Orihara - Every fangirl or fanboy on the side of Durarara is into his character, but oddly I'm not. He places himself as God and puts people in miserable situations to observe their reactions and creates chaos for the hell of it and manipulates everything towards his own ends. Frames people for something he does or just frames them. Trolls people into committing suicide and gives a list to foreign companies for people to kidnap. He is only higher on my list of least favorite villains because he cares about Shinra Kishitani and was willing to take the blame for him. A name is only a name that doesn't always express what a person is like.

(Cat's Don't Dance) - Darla Dimple, she's a kid that just wants attention, but that is at the expense of others. Inside she's said to be spoiled, cruel, manipulative, ungrateful. She is willing to frame others to maintain popularity. Ideals that I don't hold.

(Bleach) Aizen Sosuke - Doesn't care for anyone but himself and his power, but he's slightly higher on my list of least favorite antagonists because it was revealed that he did everything because he was lonely and couldn't find anyone he could relate to.

(Durarara) Rapists - Basically anyone who intends to rape people.

Can you understand me? Can you reach past what I look like? You probably won't bother to. I do appreciate when others are nice to me and I don't take that for granted. I acknowledge when people change or I may have misunderstood someone.