Thread:Jester of chaos/@comment-29414935-20190706142344/@comment-29414935-20190807131657

I think we all know that, because like I said, there are always such people. But was it also the majority who said that?

And for me, everything is ruined for me, because of such people. When I was 11 years old I watched Let's Play about that game and I was instantly a fan, also because it was from my (former) favourite video game developer Rare who also created my childhood game Banjo-Kazooie. When I was 13 years old I buied and played the game but stopped and didn't continued played it until I was 15 years old. And at that time period, I was in an "comfort zone", like my best friend and me named it. That means I was very happy and didn't have my favourtie games, movies, characters etc ruined by negative people and haters. I mean, I sure were on the internet at that time and looked on pages about the game and their characters, but somehow I never read anything negative about the characters. I read some negative comments about the game itself, what also a little bit annoyed me at that time, but it wasn't really like a "stitch in my heart" or ruined it for me. So I "forgot" about the game and characters for a long time and didn't thought about it anymore, I don't know why, but you got new video games, movies and also real-life stuff, you know? I left the comfort zone when I was about 17 years old, because I was more with other peoples and not like before, just alone in my room. I mean, it's great to see the outer world and met people you can do stuff with, but also there come people who you really hate and dislike because how they are. But I always tried to be nice to people and polite, never hating anything they like or what they are. So at that time, I was in college and I met people which I thought where the nicest people I've ever met, also because they had the same interests like me or at least similar. But boy, I didn't know. Some of them later, especially a "metal bitch", showed her true face and almost hatet everything and had always negative views and opinions, and always it seemed like she did that to annoy you. So she hatet on Marvel, which I told her was my favourite franchise, she hatet furries, and she hatet my believes and said that everyone that believes something is "mentally ill" and there is no hope. So that's why I distance from her. I mean, our realtionship is a little bit better know, but we are not really friends and I don't want to do anything with her anymore. I met so many negative and bad people there like never before and my best friend and me were very depressed at that time, and I think that changed our lives completely. That's why we left the school. So finally, I thought I've got my peace and have enough free time before I go on the next school. And there was my big mistake, that changed my view on humanity much more and made me much more to an more aggressive person than the "metal bitch" and the others. I don't know if it would happened either way even if I hadn't ask people about it, but I think it would, because at that time I was so naive and thought many people wouldn't be bad. That's why I'm also angry at myself. So I was at that german furry community and ask people about their opinion on my favourite furry character Krystal, because I thought, "hey, these are people who have your same interests and it would be nice to talk with them about it!". I was so wrong and naive. I got just negative comments like people saying "She's ugly" and some sh*t like that. That annoyed me and I told them that it's not nice. And that started the discussing and 99% of them were against me and "cyber-bullied" me. And I never was really bullied before, not even in school. I felt so much pain in my heart and so much anger. I wanted really to kill them all and thought "Why are so many people trash like that?". I never got over that and I don't know I've ever will. Because that scums ruined it for me and I just don't want to live in a world with such trash existing. So in the end, they provoked me so much, I really sweared on them and send them death threads, what I've never did before. But I always got back on that site because I never get over that and wanted them to suffer for what they did to me and ruined them something they love. I had an anger tantrum after that and a few months about even cried about it. But that doesn't helped. And a girl from my old school started it back then before the community. She is now a transgender and I've talked with her about that and have better realtionship with her now, but it isn't perfekt, because I don't really like her personality, how she acts and thinks. I asked her and other people always how they like my favourite characters and what their opinion on them are. So I asked them about Krystal and everyone said "pretty" but then, she was the only one that said "ugly". And that started everything and that's why I can't forgive her for that until that day. Because of her comment, I was pissed and that's why, when I remembered Krystal and thought about her, it came back in my mind what she said, and it stucked in my head. With another person who I discussed with if Zootopia or Rio is a better movie. That's why I started it on the furry community on the first place, because it stucked in my head. I wanted to get help and thought people with same interests can help me and support me. I mean, I wrote it a little bit strange and that's why one person that. Because I wrote something like "I don't know why she called her "ugly" because she isn't and she is a very beautiful furry character". So one bitch answered "Honestly, I find her really ugly...". So it hit my heart and I wanted to know why, what was a bigger mistake, because then she listed me her points which it ruined it more for me and I didn't understand why she can't like that. And I myself was even a bigger idiot and agreed with some of her points. So that's why asked the question on everyone in the community what they think, and that was what made it much worse and I thought it didn't can get any weirder. I'm mad at myself, that I made it more and more worse, instead of just stop. Because when I read something negative before, I stopped reading and ignored it, but no, there I was discussing with them. And I don't want to be racist about my nation, but I read more hate on Krystal here than on american pages, but I could be wrong, because after that, I looked on other pages and american sides if it was better there, but it wasn't. Some even wrote something like "I hope she dies in the next game". So I think both aren't very better. But it shocks me to see even furry communities hating on her because they should love and respect her because she is a great anthro character and from the great Rare on top on that. So I have a much different view on it now. I know hating more and more this community and see them as "weirdos who act and cloth themselves as animals". I also wouldn't call myself a "furry". I like them but I never would do what they do. And it is much worse than with other favourite characters or just characters I like of mine, because she is one of the only female furry/antho characters I really like, from movies or vide games. I never saw another such great animal character like her, who looks attractive, walks on two legs and have a cool and good-hearted personality. That's what makes it even worse for me. And I don't know if you know that feeling, but I have a special and really rare feeling with some of my most favourite characters. With her and Fox. I love them both so much and their realtionship is such so cute and heartwarming. And the characters itself also. Everytime I saw Krystal when I played the game in the past (and even today) I got a very good feeling in my heart when I looked at her, honestly one of the best feelings. They are literally in my heart and I hung an them, even if they are not real people. That's the biggest point why I'm hit in the heart by that unnecessary hate and why it can't go out of my head. They ruined my character and are really bad people that I hate from my deepest heart. I think if it would be any other character, I haven't that special feeling, then it wouldn't be so heartbreaking and upsetting to me. For example, I like Mario and someone also told him "ugly". But first of all, the majority loves him and his games and I have no special heartwarming feeling with that character (I think, because I also love most Mario characters and the games, they are part of my childhood).