User:UnknownOutcast

I'd rather not have to deal with guild politics, but if it makes things better to implement something without mudslinging and hurting other people, just do good with it. I kinda got sick of serving someone who didn't seem to initially care for me much. By caring, I mean they probably would not have cared if I died. I've already forgiven people for the past, as for whether I'm forgiven, I don't know though if I were to be honest I'd rather not go back, the only thing that kept me there were certain people. I think though, that people might not look nice on the outside, they might be on the inside; I'd like to believe in that niceness but I'm not delusional, people aren't always nice. People change and try. Spent online trying to honestly help other people in the past. Strength isn't about being a bully though maybe I was weak. I'd like to think I'm stronger than I was before, at least I'm trying. I'm not going to give up and die now. At some point, I didn't really care if I died in another sense and told others to let me die. Someone said I deserved to die, but you know what I determined? I didn't deserve to. I couldn't bring myself to kill anyone in another sense. Maybe images are what make me deserve to die but at heart, I was good but somehow lost sight of it. I tried to kill myself in some way because I didn't care whether I died in another sense only whether I deserved to die and whether others died for me. My biggest regret is if other people died for me. Living is a matter of persevering when things get rough or fine or great in a sense. I could live again in another part of the internet but it'd probably be painful. I've lost who knows how many things... Thinking back on it, the only thing I really wanted from the past was a real friend and to do good. Now I'm probably alone in spirit from people of the past. I rather have friends than underlings. Car, even if it didn't look like I cared for you, I did. I wish you happiness. I know it's too late to say this however. There were other people I cared for too and there were other people who were nice to me... I couldn't bring myself to make a decision though and things happened. I would have been happier not having to make the decision between people or not get caught up in guild politics like that, but shit happens and I tend to feel responsible in the way that maybe if I said something else, then maybe they wouldn't have said this or done something. I try being loyal to people who are loyal to me within the scope of acceptable morality and acceptable law. Cheers though, if anyone cared for me in my past, but I'd understand if certain people don't anymore. Everyone has to move on sometime and I wouldn't want anyone waiting on me instead of focusing on their own life. I don't want the past to define who I am now and I know neither do other people... I just kinda hoped I could talk to other people again.

I see things. Ranging from a message that might be hinting that I'm a burden to someone who doesn't want me anymore, someone calling me fat or... It doesn't matter. I never asked anyone to do anything big for me, you know? I'm grateful that they even did something for me. I feel bad if I'm responsible for a potentially bad decision that hurt other people. I like taking what others think of as lesser in value and polishing it maybe because I feel like I'm considered of lesser value; another person's trash is another person's treasure. I don't weigh a person's value by how useful they are to me.

I had a good heart too, though I didn't always look nice to some other people mainly because I don't respond that nicely to someone who says something mean first and because things aren't always what it looks like. I'm not perfect, I can feel emotions that are probably best left unsaid. It's not like I couldn't see other people had a good heart either, but I'm not delusional enough to think that me or anyone is perfect. People have flaws, but most people do have redeeming qualities I'd like to think. I like to think of the better nature. People change, I believe in that and the past? It doesn't always define who you are now. People aren't always what they look like. I was sort of the person that kinda got annoyed by people bragging about sexual conquests. It's not that I looked down on sexually promiscuous people, rather it's the intent, but people can actually care about others even if they brag. I never feud with other women merely because of a guy I like... I attempt to respect others but don't expect me to respect you for being an asshole.

I never actually cared much about power despite looking as if I did, but I think it could be used for good if anyone acquired it. There's the issue of methods taken to acquiring it and the acquisition of it which can conflict with ones' sense of morals and the greater good. I'm a good person regardless of what other people think of me and I am loyal to a point, but I did feel mentally unstable once. I like the reformist route. Someone once told me that they lied for good, not all lies are bad, but there's ones that are obviously bad lies. It's not always black and white, there's probably other reasons why anyone does something. I don't frame people. I feel like not everything is finite and that it's not too late for anyone to redeem themselves, but we all probably want to prevent big mistakes. If I had a choice, I would probably not want to kill innocent people or influence people to be evil.

I can't expect everyone to like me, who knows I might be Marie Medici, hated by the subjects of my husband, King Henry IV, for reasons that range from not knowing me at all or maybe it's because I just don't look hot enough. If I'm hated, I'd rather be the kind of person who was good. I'd like to think I'm not a moron just because someone tells me I am. At least I'm not an asshole. I'm capable of running a guild and thinking clearly in a political and business-like manner, I'd just rather enjoy company and think of the current guild I'm in as family, but that doesn't mean I will agree with everything other people say. I'm older than when I was. I have years of depression under my belt. I've been a bit of a moving body and mouth, with headaches that feel like my brain has sometimes short-circuited... I'm capable of understanding deep material learned from books, but socially, I'm sometimes un-attentive or don't think too much before typing or speaking; I understand other people socially when I look back, but it doesn't always translate through text or mouth immediately. Some people think I have autism. Everyone learns, some at a slower pace than other people, but as long as you try your best, learn, have a good attitude, what does it matter if someone is more intelligent than another. I mean, if people try, they can become able to do something eventually. I feel that stepping over people is something that should be avoided.

Some people don't really know me if all they're seeing is what's on the outside of the past... Yeah, I was a little bit unstable, but I never meant to harm anyone who didn't deserve it and I always gave other people a second chance. I stopped myself from harming other people even if I felt that they might've deserved it. I tried to do the right thing but I also owe other people too. I've always had this feeling that I was watched since a long time ago... I merely want to disappear in the background, but I know it probably is too late to talk to people who might not even want to associate with me. I don't really care for popularity much. I do appreciate it, but it isn't everything. Think I'm unpopular right now but that's fine. I don't always agree with other people. There's specific people who are important to me that I probably already lost. I know I gotta move, but I'm not one to just abandon people who I've had a connection with, at least in spirit; moving forward while looking back. It's alright though if they don't feel like associating with me anymore. I'm not the kind of person to ruin someone elses' happiness just because they dumped me or just because I'm jealous. If someone's going to dump me I'd rather they say it to my face. Though, I am rarely jealous. I'm really not as bad as people think I might be.

Yeah, being compared to Darla Dimple simply makes me laugh because if this is what I'm being compared to, then honestly, you don't really don't know me that well. Let's see, do I hate animals? Nope, but I do dislike trolling in general. I also dislike assholes, but if they're my friend all I will do is disagree with them and probably try prevent anything bad from happening; I honestly would not hold it against others to disagree with me if they think I'm over the line. I'm loyal to people who are loyal to me and I do have morals.

I never really cared much for possessing the throne. Power is a medium to do good and help other people. I don't know, I rather keep real friends over a throne, but why not do good once you do have power right but it really is regrettable to use tactics that probably crosses a line, but then again maybe it's justified because your opponents had previously used them against you unfairly. The past is already written, the present and future can be changed. I'd honestly rather take the reform route, but the reform route doesn't always work. Reform I feel is the better option than destruction.

= HATE YOU - 2NE1 = I'm honestly fine living away from assholes. I wish assholes would change. There's very few people that I hate. Does this make me a psychotic blond willing to do anything to maintain popularity including stepping over others? That really isn't me though it might be how I used to look... I think about morals a lot. I am human enough to make mistakes, at least, I try not to be evil and try to be a good person. I do in fact actually care for children and animals in real life, but you didn't hear that from me. XD

I could be scared of a lot of things but being threatened by a random person on the internet when I know they're not really going to kill me isn't one of them. Why am I on here writing a bunch of things most people don't really care to read due the amount of text and because I'm not interesting enough? Maybe I'm looking for a sign about the status of my relationship towards certain people, because it's easier than approaching people directly and because of therapy.

There's context to be considered. Being a child is associated with immaturity in some ways, but it isn't really meant to infer an insult just because they're a child, rather childish behavior. Adults can act just as immature as a child. People aren't always what they look like though, maybe they're actually a jerk with a heart of gold. Real friends are hard to find. A real friend will be there for you in spirit even after if you make mistakes and realize it. I'll probably be insulted if you think I don't have decent morals. I also almost never trashtalk and I'm not that arrogant - I might secretly say fuck everyone somewhere out of mental instability because being followed everywhere I go and having people read what I write before I even type it makes me feel claustrophobic. Yeah, being threatened doesn't help my mental stability much. I'm grateful though for people who've attempted to be nice to me. I have tried to give people a chance, I mean I believe that people change. I've said this. Fuck it though, I'll make my own way in life without worrying about labels or popularity and just do what I think is right and treasure what's important to me. I do appreciate it when people are nice to me though I might not always voice it constantly. I'm an outcast now, but I'm happier not being famous because it means I'm free to be myself. I get tired of people going out of their way to imply something about me (who has time to do this). Though, I do appreciate when it's intended to be a nice gesture, I know it isn't always a gesture that's meant to be nice. What upsets me the most is probably losing real friends. That's the only thing that I ever cared that I lost. I'm going to pick myself up from the past. If you were to try to kill me now I'd make an effort to stay alive in another world. Signing off before I spend an evening doing therapy writing. ;)

Mirror mirror on the wall, I don't give a shit at all, it doesn't matter what it says, because I'll rewrite it and say this isn't who I am, at my heart I am actually not that bad. Then there are those who don't really know what kind of person I am based on an image of the PAST. I am a good person. I am kind. Expecting me to be nice to you for being an asshole? Don't count on it.

If I had to choose between popularity by masses of people and a real friend, I'd rather choose a real friend within morally acceptable boundaries. Don't be that arrogant gloating over my dead body... I'm not in pain for that; the only reason that you killed me in another sense is because I let you. It would only pain me if you were someone who had cared for me or if I cared about you. I can resurrect myself any time I want, but why don't I? I feel like there's not much for me to go back for except for certain people and I want to go back for certain people. In the end the only thing I wanted was to have real friends and control myself to do good. Seriously, I'm not evil but I do make mistakes... Despite what someone might say about me. It's bullshit for someone to tell me I tormented them and if they're going to say I tormented them then why don't they look at their own actions. Don't expect me to be nice to you for being an asshole. I always fucking try not to cross moral lines, try to show empathy (though I feel like people are only looking at the surface when I state what type of shows I find interesting and don't find sad) and wind up biting the bullet for other people. I'm so tired of doing this for anyone who could care less. I'm so tired of trying to make other people happy. I always try though because at the end of the day I keep hoping for change. Perhaps they are stuck on seeing me as an antagonist to their protagonist. I'd rather people change for the better than be perpetually stuck as an asshole, but I digress I am not an asshole at heart and always try not to be. There's people out there that were nice to me that I am truly greatful that they were nice to me. I'm not like Cersei though, I don't frame other people, I'm not a cruel person, I don't care much about power, I don't even sleep around with other people, I didn't kill anyone. I'm actually a good person. I'm not going to rot in a dungeon eating water off the floor, but to survive maybe I would. Things aren't what they seem. I'm completely fine with forgive and forget when it's reasonable. I didn't invite anyone to a guild with the intention of humiliating anyone. Tell me what I deserve when most people don't really know me from the PAST. I'm pretty much done with politics from the PAST. I don't hurt people who don't deserve it and I show reluctance to even hurt people because at the end of the day I feel that if I am using low tactics it makes me just as bad as other people. I try not to use tactics that I feel cross a line and I honestly try not to hurt people. I showed empathy when it counted. If you're gay, lesbian or bisexual, I don't even think that should be a problem and think that it isn't wrong. I feel though, that it's not always what it looks like and people aren't half as bad as they might look like. I'm not that great at expressing myself... but I am not as dumb as people make me out to be and I am fully capable of being intelligent; I am however, not the kind of person that Cersei is when it comes to others meaning I'm not cruel, I'm not violent, don't frame others, don't care about power, don't kill anyone and actually care for people other than my damn self and am loyal within morally acceptable bounds, but on the surface perhaps it does not look like it. Power is only a vessel to do good. I did not do everything for my own benefit. I feel like I sacrificed my image and have been rebuilding a sense of self over the years. I feel like life lost is regrettable. I tend to not quarrel or fight with other women. The reason I hate Game of Thrones is because it displays a world which caters to a male audience fantasy and it is sexist. All I can say is that I don't personally think I deserve to die and everyone else who says I do, can go live their own life without me; I will live mine doing what I think is right and caring. - Victoria

Rock, Paper, Scissors - Katzenjammer

In The End - Linkin Park