Kaiju (HISHE Dubs)

The Kaiju (originating from Pacific Rim) are giant alien monsters and anti-heroes in the HISHE short film "Pacific Rim Dubs. Unlike their portrayals in the film, they are portrayed as obnoxiously friendly creatures.

History
The first Kaiju to ever attack is Tresspasser, who made land in San Francisco. Soon, more attacks occurred, and the Jaeger program was created rather than just track the creatures or fry them from orbit using satellites. In 2020, 7 years after the attacks began, the Jaeger Gipsy Danger and its co pilots Yancy and Raleigh Beckett were sent to attack category 3 kaiju Knifehead, who was admiring a small boat. Curious, Knifehead asked the Jaeger if he could play with them, before accidentally killing Yancy, leaving Raleigh to mourn that "something bad happened to one of us!" 5 years after the Knifehead incident, the kaiju attacks grow even more frequent and devastating, forcing the UN to consider the Jaeger program "dumb" and support a wall that would keep out the kaiju. However, even the wall proved useless as category 4 Mutavore broke through it, stating that the wall was nice. Before any harm could happen, Jaeger Striker Eureka brought down the beast. Later, in Mako Mori's flashback, Kaiju Onibaba spotted the young orphan alone in the streets wishing to help her find her parents, only to scare her. In the present day, kaijus Otachi and Leatherback emerge from the Breach, preparing to search for a best friend (Dr. Newton Geizler). Jaegers Crimson Typhoon and Cherno Alpha are sent to prevent them from reaching Hong Kong, but are meant to be expendable. Otachi rips the head off of Crimson Typhoon and subdues Cherno Alpha by sneezing on it, disgusting the pilots. Striker Eureka attempts to take down the kaiju itself, but Leatherback unleashes an EMP blast which disables the power in the Shatterdome and Striker itself. While Otachi searches for Geizler, Leatherback remains with Striker, where its pilots shoot flares into his eye. Before Leatherback can do another action, Gipsy Danger is deployed and Leatherback begins rushing to meet his new friend. Gipsy kills Leatherback by bashing crates into his head and shooting his corpse. They soon confront Otachi, who has just found his "best friend" and kill her while she is airborne using a chain sword. Geizler goes to get a brain from Otachi's carcass, but it is damaged. Suddenly, a convenient "Baby Kaiju" emerges from the body and attempts to attack Geizler, but it is strangled by its umbelical cord, but not before devouring black market dealer Hannibal Chau. Later, during the battle of the breach, category 5 Slattern emerges and prepares to show the Jaegers its new ballet skills. Striker begins insulting the creature though, picking on its bad armpit smell. Slattern calls for aid from Scunner, claiming to be cyberbullied. Before the two kaiju can attack the Jaeger however, Striker's pilots detonate a bomb on its back, killing Scunner but wounding Slattern. Before Gipsy Danger can enter the Breach, Slattern offers to help them gain passage into it. Shortly afterwards, the Breach is destroyed and the kaiju threat is extinguished (until the sequel).

Quotes

 * Hi everyone! (catchphrase)


 * Ooh, nice boat!


 * Can I play? Whoopsie!


 * Hi guys! Nice Wall!


 * Hey, little girl! Don't run, I can help you find your parents!


 * Hi everyone! I brought a friend! Whatup!


 * Wheee!


 * Hey, have you seen my best friend?


 * Ah, ah, ah, ACHOO!


 * Oh boy, new friend! Let me give you a hug!


 * BEST FRIEND! I know you're in there!


 * Hey! Give me that boat!


 * Perhaps I could be of assistance!


 * Hey, are you lost?


 * I've been practicing ballet!


 * Help! I'm being cyberbullied!