Chip Hazard

"There will be no Mercy!"

- Major Chip Hazard's famous quote.

Major Chip Hazard is the main antagonist of Small Soldiers. He was Archer's archenemy and the leader of the Commando Elite.

He was voiced by legendary actor Tommy Lee Jones who also played Two-Face in Batman Forever, William Strannix in Under Siege, Ryan Gaerity in Blown Away, and Robert Dewey in Jason Bourne.

Film
Major Chip Hazard, a military action figure, along with the other Commando Elite, were designed by Larry Benson, but were created by Global Tech Industries. Each one of the Commandos were given a microchip known as the X-1000 and were programmed to kill Gorgonites. However, the X-1000 was designed to learn and adapt to the programming. So Chip and the other Commandos became more and more like "real" soldiers, determined to kill the Gorgonites and anyone who was allied with them (whom they would call "Gorgonite allies").

Chip tries to kill Alan Abernathy and the Gorgonites and is shown to be extremely xenophobic towards the Gorgonites (though in fairness to Chip and his crew, he was following a program, which dictated that the Gorgonites were enemies). However, Hazard showed no problem with endangering the lives of others and was warmongering, aggressive, and capable. With aid from his crew, he terrorized any that got in his way and was not one for negotiation or diplomacy. He preferred a hands-on approach involving the creation of deadly war-machines made out of junk and the modification of toys into equally dangerous weaponry. When Nick Nitro was badly damaged by the garbage disposal and made it back to the rest of the Commando Elite, where he died in Chip Hazard's arms, Chip held a moment of silence.

After creating their machines, Chip leads the Commandos in a siege of the Fimple family's household, where they immobilize the parents of Alan's love interest, Christy, by drugging them with sleeping pills and tie up her younger brother, Timmy, before appropriating her childhood toys, the Gwendy Dolls, into sentient reinforcements. When Christy returns home from a date, the Gwendy Dolls ambush, subdue, and restrain her, and when her boyfriend, Brad, attempts to rescue her, Chip staves off the attempt by setting his pants on fire, scaring him out of the house. (It is later revealed that this act leads to Christy breaking up with him off-screen for abandoning her to Chip.) Now with Christy as their hostage, Chip coerces her into making a video for Alan and the Gorgonites that demands the surrender of the latter.

Chip believes that he has won when Alan seemingly leaves a box containing the Gorgonites in front of the Fimple household, and he and the Commandos blow it up with dynamite. In reality, it is a decoy containing a recording of the Gorgonites' voices with Bumble Balls bouncing around to simulate the feeling of them moving around inside. This is because Alan and Archer have sneaked into the Fimple house to rescue Christy. Archer cuts her loose while Alan unsuccessfully deals with the Gwendy Dolls, who subdue him briefly before being defeated by Christy.

When the teens and Archer then try to escape Christy's house, they find themselves attacked by Chip and the other Commandos, who are now fully utilizing their newly-created machines. They hop onto Christy's motorbike and take off with Chip and the Commandos in pursuit. The teens and Archer seemingly emerge victorious when they make a daring jump over a ravine in the park that the Commandos cannot make themselves, destroying Chip and his men.

As it turns out, Chip survives the failed pursuit of Archer, Alan, and Christy and washes up near a Big Toy Barn, where he kidnaps a truck driver, Joe, who is carrying a full truckload of unopened Commando Elites, stating that he's been drafted. He activates them off-screen and unleashes them on the Abernathy household in a full-scale war. His intentions are not only to kill Archer and the other Gorgonites once and for all, but also Alan, Christy, Larry, his friend and partner, Irwin, Alan's father, Stewart, his mother, Irene, Christy's father, Phil, her mother, Marion, and Timmy, all of whom have gathered in the house for various reasons.

After Chip later defeats Archer in a fight atop a telephone pole and celebrates, thinking that he has won, Alan gets furious, seizes Chip, and jams him into the power line, triggering an EMP, which destroys the rest of the Commando Elite, and even the Gwendy Dolls who survived Archer, Alan, and Christy's escape. A damaged Chip says, "There will be no mercyyyy..." before his circuits shut down, and he is terminated for good. They put what is left of the Commando Elite, including the Gwendy Dolls, into garbage bags, and it is presumed they were taken to a Steel Plant to melt them in molten steel so they would never come back to life.

After the battle is over, Irwin showed Mr. Mars what is left of Chip, showing him only his damaged head with one of his eyes sticking out.

Video Game
In the PS1 video game, Chip sends his troops to invade Gorgon, the home world of the Gorgonites to destroy his enemies once and for all.

Archer who has sworn to protect his home world, destroys the Commando's weaponry, defeats Chip's troops, rescues the Gorgonites who were being held captive and goes to the Commando war torn home world.

There he breaks through their defenses, destroying everything to prevent them from invading Gorgon again before battling Chip himself in the inner sanctum of the main base Garrison Prime. Chip has encased himself in deadly battle armor, but Archer still manages to defeat him and Chip ends up fried to a fritter from the deadly range of one of his own cannons.

When the battle is over, Archer sticks one of his arrows into a tattered piece of the Commando flag, declaring the war finally over.

Quotes
"Major Chip Hazard, reporting for duty sir!"

- Chip Hazard's first words when he is activated "We are the Commando Elite. Everything else is just a toy."

- Chip Hazard "All right, ladies, now listen good. Our mission: Destroy the Gorgonite enemy. Defeat him!"

- Chip Hazard

"Soldiers, no poor sap ever won a way by dying for his country. He won it by being all that he can be. Damn the torpedoes or give me death! Eternal vigilance is the price of duty and to the victors go the spoils. So remember, you are the best of the best, of the few and the proud. So ask not what your country can do for you, only regret that you have but one life to live! The war against the Gorgonites will be won! Commando Elite, let the first shot be fired! Search out the Gorgonites and frag 'em all!"

- Chip's speech to his troops

"Are you scared? We're all scared. You have to be crazy not to be scared."

- Chip Hazard to Christy upon her being taken hostage

"There will be no surrender, there will be no mercy. All Gorgonite scum must die!"

- Chip Hazard

"We have met the enemy and he is you!"

- Chip Hazard

"I love the smell of polyurethane in the morning!"

- Chip Hazard

"Ain't war Hell!"

- Chip Hazard

"Expect no Mercy!"

- Chip Hazard

Trivia

 * Like many homicidal machines Chip could be considered a homage to the Terminator, due to his status as a murderous toy he also shares similarities to Chucky - however Chip also has a lot in common with the morally dubious character of war-films such as Full Metal Jacket (such as the infamous Sergeant "Animal Mother").
 * Even though Gil Mars created the Commando Elite and thus instigated the events of the film, Chip Hazard is The Heavy because he is Archer's arch-enemy and his directive to eliminate the Gorgonites drove the plot.