User:DamnedToHell

I'm at peace with being dead some other place as long as I get to live as a ghost and haunt people that are important to me and be around them... Whoaoaooo! Throwing out all the chances that I've had to pursue power at the expense of other people and leaving it behind. It's a lonely, arduous road that in the end will leave you bankrupt as an individual sometimes. I wouldn't recommend it. I'll support anyone who pursues power and money for good within moral constraints and acceptable standards of conduct and reform. I was never actually that mean. Half of the time I'd be misunderstood for something I said. I'm also generally not a bully and don't care about popularity for the sake of being popular. I also think some of the people around me may've been misunderstood, but at times felt acted like an asshole. People do change and I want to believe in that, but I know not everyone is what they look like all the time. I tried to be understanding but I'm not perfect. I've made mistakes myself. Probably damned myself to hell for others, but I change too. Every time I could've done anything at the expense of other people, I most often just chose to do something at my expense. Some people are motivated by power and money for the sake of having it, but me I couldn't give a damn about those things. I sacrificed every material thing, image, that I owned in the past. It doesn't mean I'd sacrifice other people or leave anything to destruction. I didn't however sacrifice certain morals or people. I can be labeled any type character out there, but it doesn't mean people really know me. I obviously don't like torturing people. If you're going to act like an asshole just don't expect people to be nice to you, but I digress of having tried to at least be civil and try to be understanding. I do admit to trolling just a little in the past... I can... snap sometimes but that's only when provoked. Most of the time I didn't really feel anything other than an innate sense of a defense mechanism. I would not invite someone back with the purpose of humiliating them however. I kind of used to test people sometimes, but I would never use violence and torture. I'm a lot better at handling these type of things in modern times and I'm quite honest about what I think to others nowadays. Not going to lie, I did feel at one point I wanted revenge on someone for somebody else, due to reasons that would've probably been justified, before I realized how much it wasn't worth it and probably the only reason I didn't was because I cared along with having apprehensions of whether what I was doing was okay and I certainly wouldn't destroy planets... I'm not okay with destruction.

I once wanted to arrest Atomsk, who was allegedly the Pirate King at the time, without actually knowing him personally. That awkward moment when he's next to you. Obviously my aim wasn't to get someone elses' power. Obviously I didn't rob anyone to sustain my selfish desire to live a world where I committed suicide. I think I owe people though and I wanted to return what I owed out of gratitude. I guess I wanted to see some progress, reform and change. Yeah, I'm probably going to get flak for that.

I poke fun at myself mostly, I poke fun at situations, I poke fun at people, but it's almost never really in a mean-spirited way unless someone is determined to be hard to deal with... Assholes. I know trolling when I see it. Though, there are different types of trolls with different alignments. I just didn't want to prolong a pointless fight. I didn't want to do anything that would be a burden, but I really could not help but feel the way I did. I did things that I have probably regretted for reasons. It doesn't matter though now, because I know people change and they're not always what they look like... Most of the people I joked around with were people I knew and were comfortable with. On the surface of things, most people didn't really know me well. At times, I am quite sarcastic in a fun loving and non mean-spirited way. People don't always pick up on that. Never called anyone a loser. I never called anyone fat in a mean way. Never taunted people for their appearances, which by the way was only mentioned in a rap battle which shouldn't even be taken too seriously. I quote "Beauty will fade with age, what's left is your soul, personality and knowledge.". I didn't lead people in a chorus mocking someone for being a 'king'. I was never racist either. I refuse to fit into the mold someone else makes me out to be and that is why I tend to often state, that yes I'm a good person. I'm just not too great at expressing myself. I'm not a narcissist by the way... I'm not after being the center of attention. I don't consider other people to be chained to perform my will. I also don't consider people to be something to use and discard. I just want to be okay with what kind of person I am. I was upset at the death of someone else... I'm divided between sides though, and the past isn't always applicable to how someone is now. It's perhaps best to start new elsewhere rather than purposely sabotage other people. I grew up in a pirate type of guild even though I didn't like piracy myself, which by the way, has probably become The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything TV trope type of guild. I'd rather have it that way, unless they're choosing to act in defense or against the destruction of guilds and reform, but everyone has their own lives. In the end I wouldn't want the death of others. Though I think people should take responsibility and be accountable for their actions. I wouldn't mind starting with a clean slate, not just for myself but others, even if I was previously threatened by others. One thing that won't make me follow someone is out of being threatened. I've got other reasons for it.

Quite interesting how people seem to want to rule the world without considering the massive responsibility it entails and the massive mobilization it would require and the consequences of having done it the wrong way. It's in my opinion, that it can be too much for one person to hold and so it is necessary to pass it on to the right people, because absolute power can corrupt absolutely. There will always be people diverging on ideologies. It's why some wars are instigated, if not for profit, built on the blood of millions, but it'd be nice to prevent bloodshed wouldn't it. It'd be nice to live in a world where no one has to do die and everything's right. Don't expect people not to point a gun at you if you've got one pointed at them. Don't expect no resistance when committing to unjustified invasions. I'd probably accept help to rebuild for my former country though, if that's what others offer and what they choose to do, and I'd be grateful. It was just a place where I felt at home before, family, if I had a choice, I'd reform it to represent what's good, to provide aid to other people, if it's not already reformed, but I'm not going back to my former country. To change anything, you've got to say something and do something, I'd rather take the reform route, but I know that route isn't always viable.

I don't care if you're famous, have power, have popularity, have intelligence or have money. I would still care even if you weren't... If someone cared about me, I would appreciate that a lot and make an effort to care about someone else back, but I would ultimately disagree if I have to on certain issues that I can't bring myself to agree with. I was once a generally compassionate person and I do try to be so right now, but I'm quite jaded. I'm not going to agree to everything someone else says. I actually wanted independence for my former country, but I didn't want bloodshed or destruction or slavery or to commit unacceptable standards of conduct. Ha, I once had the intention of creating healer ninjas. I am however, great-full for others support. The deaths of others is a big regret of mine, and I probably would've rather died instead. I'm not a saint, but I've always been caring... The only times I feel like I want to live is to talk with people who are important to me. It's not about status for me, if I cared about that, I wouldn't associate with people others look down on for the wrong reasons, but maybe because I'm look down on too.

I don't think I'm entitled to something I did not work for or earn or feel like I've done something that is unacceptable to my standards of conduct. I am pretty grateful to others when I am warranted to. I am trying to determine what is happening and what I should do in regards to current events or if I even should mention or do anything at all, taking a second look at the different perspectives I'm looking at. Everyone has a reason to do what they do. I really don't think that someone's a psychopath just because they're labeled one, but people have their own reasons for actions. I also think that there's a reasonable limit where the past shouldn't really be considered as the person they are now. They're not always what they look like. People change. I never actually killed anyone because I committed suicide instead. Although I'm grateful to others, I can probably hold my own and never really thought about romance much in the past before I realized I was in love with someone. I won't however, let people destroy my new home, what I've built along with others to represent a place for people to feel welcome as long as they don't act like an asshole towards others and can get along with them, and against the elitism rampant elsewhere. I'm not going to die there. I wouldn't abandon people, even if everyone hated them. That is of course, is if I have to let go because they want to. I'm unwilling to frame others for something that should be my responsibility and I wouldn't consciously frame anyone. Right, and rape is something I'd consider not acceptable to be okay with. I wasn't a mean person because after all it's only an image, but if people actually got to know me, instead of people putting labels on me they probably wouldn't see me as such, because I did try to be nice but trying to be nice to someone who isn't, well you can't expect people to be nice to you. I did however try and I wasn't a tyrant, though I'm probably seen as such by someone who either doesn't know me well or maybe someone that just wants to make a villain. I sacrificed a lot for the people who've been under my responsibility. I lost the title of queen or princess which did not even matter to me, as much as certain people did and I tried to relatively do the right thing. I don't seek immortality above everything else, it isn't something I'm after, but it is also not a crime to live without hurting anyone. Though people aren't always what they look like, people do change and maybe they're just a tad misunderstood. Regardless of what someone else might say, I'm not quick to decapitate people simply because I'm irritated and I wasn't cruel. It wasn't power that I sought nor a crown, and neither of which would've been for myself. I hated what somebody else represented, before I knew who he actually was, but maybe I wanted to believe that he wasn't as bad as he looked just because I knew him. Furthermore, people do change for the better and they're not always what they look like.

Do you know what it takes to be a real hero? Real heroes don't frame people and don't have a need to be a hero by slaying others just to gain a title of hero when people show regret and changes. It's not about a destiny, it's about the choices you make and you can make your own choices outside of destinies people set up for you.

I would probably like Neil Goldman as a friend. He can probably find someone else to love him as more than a friend someday. He seems like a nice guy.

It's okay to be gay. I love gay boys. No wonder. O.o

It's comforting to know when alone and abandoned that there's someone out there who will always care about you, even if you don't necessarily agree to everything that someone does or says. For that, I'm grateful. Even on my own, with everything raining down on me, I won't kowtow to your tune just because you're powerful, popular, have money. Just give me a good reason why I should agree with you. I don't care about being a hero at all costs because at the end of the day I couldn't look at myself and be okay with what I did to someone, specifically people who I should consider friends or someone who is actually innocent. I just care about doing the right thing no matter how hard it is and the friends that I have made. I wouldn't frame other people who are innocent just to make myself a hero. I did not plant bombs at my old home or somebody elses' home, even if I did want revenge for someone else, I just really can't bring myself to use these tactics, but I'm willing to die so other people don't have to... Even if it makes me a villain. If I had a choice between money and the people who actually cared about me, I'd rather take the people who actually cared about me, but I've also got a responsibility to do the right thing, but I believe do change and aren't always what they look like. That's why I'd rather pass it on to someone who I know will do something right and good with it and then die. The people who I usually respond ill to look kind of like assholes, but perhaps they're not really what they look like and I wanted to believe that maybe there's something more to it than what their image portrays. I actually gave them a chance and winded up having to cover for some people... I was genuinely a kind person though and I've lost quite a bit of that innocence. Pshh, please, you think I'm after wealth for myself? I've always said I thought it's something to be used for good and if I pass that on to someone who will use it for good, then I don't mind. I was caring, but I'm tired of caring for people who toss me into the dirt despite how much I cared. I'm not cruel or a sadist. Perhaps all I wanted was someone who genuinely cared about me instead of being used and discarded like I'm a tool for other people. I return what I owe and I do owe gratitude towards others. I dislike it when others are so willing to sacrifice other people who aren't willing to be killed, who are innocent, to claw their way into power and then choose to discard them like they don't matter, but I'm not that person and I'm not going to end up that way just because I'm labeled as such due to a past image that doesn't represent who I am. I don't do things out of personal profit a lot of the time, but more as an interest in doing good, defending the innocent and weak. Perhaps make people independent enough to continue on. To spend time in general with people who are important to me. I don't destroy, merely reform. I didn't order destruction. Revenge is a waste of time. Do something good. Everyone can change... I probably can't abandon someone unless they do it first, I just don't find some things acceptable. I really do not mind being used to heal people so long as I'm not actually helping someone murder innocent people or murder in general or violence when there's other ways you could do something. It's not like I trap people in towers out of a selfish desire to be beautiful and young forever and immortal at the cost of someone elses' life.

When you make someone a monster. You'll probably get a monster. Maybe they're not that bad and all they need is a chance. I really can't disregard the lives of other people. Cough, on a few occasions I have only pretended to stomp on people. I don't mind just setting people free from their contract to me if it makes them happier. Maybe all I was just looking for were people who actually cared in spirit so it didn't feel like I was alone, and other people didn't feel alone. I really do appreciate the friends I do have. I'm not the type of person who'd climb over the corpses of others and still be okay with myself. I'm not against fair role-play type of wars by the way. I dislike wars that are fought with subterfuge that somehow breaks a ton of moral constraints. I do understand that some people break the rules for certain reasons, maybe for empathetic and sympathetic reasons... It's not an excuse to commit a morally unacceptable plan though. Anyways, I always did genuinely care for a select few people and I always did try to care on a general caring for humanity type of thing. If someone cares about me, I would reciprocate that care. It wasn't about making myself look good. I do so utterly loathe tactics that involve framing others for something they don't do and I'm not going to be proponent of that, but I also do owe it to other people to say something in their defense. I also owe it to other people to keep them alive. There's two sides, it's sometimes hard to discern which one is actually true, but even so people do change and they aren't always what they look like.

Dear Diary, Mello is merely misunderstood, writing this down so he doesn't have to live with a mask forever. Redheads and pink people are also probably misunderstood. Chris is probably misunderstood too. I'm pretty much blind to sides. I just kind of want to see everyone turn out okay in a modern world. I believe people really don't have to live in the past or a preset.

I somehow didn't kill Robert Baratheon when I had the chance. O.o


 * 1) Because fuck game of thrones.

Can always start new after an artificial death. I'm not about sacrifice other people for my mistakes. I don't mind being damned, but I'm not Jesus - I mean Yeesus. Humans can be labeled demons - It doesn't mean they actually are one by default because they're labeled as such and it doesn't mean people deserve to die for being labeled as a demon, in my view even people labeled as demons can achieve redemption and a non hypocritical Jesus out there would extend that forgiveness to even former demons who actually want to change and are remorseful instead of slaughtering people just because of their lineage. Even if I do think people should be accountable for their own actions, but you know not everyone is what they look like all the time. Besides, no one actually has to die in an illogical world, if you play your cards right, there's other ways you can achieve something. Sometimes force can actually be justifiable... In an illogical world it is scarcely needed as you only really need it when in a defensive state most of the time. White lies can actually be justifiable. Just not the type that frame people for selfish reasons when they are unwilling to take that burden. e_e

Funny, I wouldn't destroy a marriage for a selfish desire to have some guy or girl all to myself. I feel empathetic to other people that kind of look like a w00bie... Everyone can probably get along if they try or want to. Well as long as people are happy and it doesn't infringe on the basic human rights of others. XD

Imagine living with a narcissist, but even then I'm grateful and I tell them this, which somehow always results in me being accused of being ungrateful. I only respond back with the same rudeness I am treated to when it becomes overly unbearable. However, I have always been grateful. Never been that arrogant. I am a master of none, but I have a variety of basic skills... That I haven't really practiced continuously. I get increasingly distracted by a lot of things that are hard for me to get past and stop thinking about. I'm often at half attention when I do most things on the computer. I don't blame everything on other people and it's not like I blame others for my mistakes, but other people don't necessarily understand where I come from all the time, a lot more so because of some of my inability to effectively communicate. I'm really not a spoiled brat even though somehow people get that impression and I don't blame them, but they don't necessarily know where I come from. I'm not willing to do anything to be better than other people, but you know I always strive to actually improve myself and would like to see other people improve... It's mostly an image that people in the past do not know me really well tend to think of me as, but I'm pretty capable of doing many things on my own even if I am grateful for support and feel uncomfortable asking anything of anyone that would be too much or something they don't feel like doing - Even when I tell someone not to do anything for me. It's really tough to concentrate when getting an earful of things... I also don't call people weird in a mean way... Yeah there's probably reasons why I somehow come across certain ways in the past. I'd also rather people tell the truth than lie to me, I'm totally open to constructive criticism, but if all you're going to be is negative and threatening without actually providing something that people can use to improve, then please resist the urge to be an asshole. Well, I'm not forcing anyone to do the work, but grateful here. I'm also only pretending to do something a lot of the time, at least in the past. I'm not evil. I heard some insult from someone and some comment about putting a dick in a girl's face, but I never hated them, I only said they should suck their own dick and that I think some girl should kick you in the balls. O.o

I'm almost always willing to give people a second chance on multiple things as long as it's morally acceptable to do so and it probably won't come back to somehow cause major havoc or kill people who are important to me, people that I owe or innocent people... I kind of have trouble with leaving anyone to die. I'd probably jump at a second chance if I was ever given it. I do value the friends I have, even if they're not totally in line with what ideal person I have in mind. I'm not perfect either... There's really only a few people that I can say that I'd go to hell for just because I honestly can't do without their company, but all the more willing to let go if it makes them happier... I want Dan to be my man total undying love, but not at the cost someone else or like someone elses' happiness or like said person's happiness... This is probably funny and amusing to people. Anyways... I do believe people change for the better and the past isn't always indicative of who they are now, they don't always look like how they can come across. Well, I feel bad about other people dying. I don't mind dying, but I seriously have apprehension when someone else dies for me or in my place, makes me feel like I owe them and I shouldn't let them actually do it. Then again, I owe people who have 'saved' me despite in all probability of being able to defend myself. Resurrecting people is also just a matter of will power and words-actions. There's nothing inherently wrong with reviving people, it's pretty much about what ya plan on doing with it. You can always choose to free other people from their contracts if that's what they want and they're going to make their own decision anyway. If we're talking about abstract concepts. People can raise themselves from dead.

Dylan was actually awfully nice to me... I can't bring myself to kill him. Even if people hate him, for reasons, that are probably understandable. He doesn't look particularly nice, but he was to me and he did have some semblance of morals. He probably did care about a select few people. I did care about him too. e_e

I feel really bad though, about Gus, I probably can't leave him to die either. I feel like maybe I could've done something before he wound up in his situation. I did care about Gus even if it did not look like it. He's probably in a happier place than yesterday. These two were both kinda like family to me along with some others.

If a Doctor's goal is to save civilizations and help people in need, then I probably wouldn't kill him. Masters kind of looks like some guy that's somehow misunderstood. I probably wouldn't just let other people kill some of my friends though. The world and people are constantly changing. There's not much point in returning to a world where there isn't much to do and I'm not needed, there are other people willing to take up causes for their own interest. It's a world where the virtual values aren't real. I dislike piracy. Not only because you're setting out to destroy people, places, things, but the tactics used for it can be downright low. There's good pirates out there that are really only about freedom within the extent of the law when it's actually right and defending the weak, innocent, justice, reform whatnot. I'm not adherent to the death penalty. Not all laws lead to doing the right thing and not all laws are right, but they're usually there to protect people. I don't mind passing whatever it is that I inherited onto to someone else as long as they're going to be responsible about it. The only thing that is real, is the people. Real life should take precedence over the virtual world. The only reason I would return, would be the people I used to know, in order to communicate. Well the thing about total loyalty is that it's probably not going to lead to doing the right thing all the time. I just did what I thought was right and if I died in disgrace because of that, it doesn't make me a bad person. I have absolutely zero interest in world domination, but there's people who do actually pursue power for good. You can always influence people for the better right? I'm probably not willing to kill a whole bunch of people for it. I'm not willing to leave others to die. Anyways, I just killed myself and revived people. Don't judge me because I've had to make hard choices that I didn't even want to make. I'm exceedingly loyal only to a moralistic extent. Ne, people change, isn't it time to just move on and forgive people? I spent quite a bit of time actually trying to make a good difference towards others, but it wasn't always out in the open. By the way, just because people are labeled Nazis it doesn't mean they act like it. Labeling people is quite dangerous because it's not always such an accurate label. Factions don't necessarily represent what a person is like. I like people with red hair because I was once 'saved' by a person with red hair. I wanted to return that. I'm not one to actually execute people. I'm so boring. My goal is pretty much to reform people, defend the innocent, which probably can extend to corrupt establishments and healing others, but there's other ways to enact reform without violence, framing, destroying, killing or bombing people. Though, if somebody pointed a gun at you for no reasonable reason, you'd probably want to defend yourself. The only ones who should shoot are either those prepared to die or if you're someone innocent who just happens to have someone trying to kill you, survival is probably also a reason. Not many people will let you kill them. There are establishments and organizations that aren't made for just being pals. I know that these establishments use subterfuge, among many other establishments to get things done, but it's not about getting power from these establishments and abusing it, it's about using it responsibly. You can always give someone an extra chance. I mean, it's not like it's the real world, where just one big mistake could ruin the life of other people when elected. Well, unless you know someone's out to bomb you and frame you for something you don't do. I wonder if someone will shoot me if I give them a chance while I look away? I have told people that I wanted to die a couple times. Apparently, I deserved to die despite not really having killed anyone else, because I was somehow caught up in something going on at the time. I was grateful to others, but I did kind of freak out once Izaya showed up, because of what he actually represented as a person. I can't help but disagree with someone over what he represented, but apparently I'm responsible for making someone insane. Perhaps people aren't nearly as bad as they come off as, right? They do change and they aren't always what they look like. I did try to give people a chance. I'm generally not a bully to people who themselves aren't bullies, I'm a lot more polite nowadays, but I've done things that I'm not proud of, in the past for reasons. Including but not limited to using subterfuge and it's not for my own benefit. I have never framed people for something they haven't done, because I mostly take responsibility for my actions instead of blaming it on someone else. ._.

I probably need to get out more.

If you guys actually sit down and talk after all the years and grudges that are being held, I really wonder what you guys would say to each-other. How hard is it to forgive other people? I've been threatened, trolled, sock-puppeted, insulted and in all possibility framed, but even then I don't mind wiping that slate clean if it were possible. There are times that I actually had to use subterfuge for other people, but people aren't necessarily what they look like. I'm a good person, but it's not always overt or in your face. I've never hated my 'sister' and did care about her. I could've taken power if I wanted it because of being offered it, but then I didn't, reclaiming the throne wasn't really as important to me, though I did think about trying to get revenge for someone, I felt like revenge is not really worth it. I don't care about my own artificial death. Though, I try to keep other people alive out of a sense of either attachment, obligation or if it's in probability the right thing to do. I'd be willing to bargain for the resurrection of souls that that want to be kept alive for purposes not related to bombing, stealing from, killing or framing other people for stupid reasons, because of my belief that people aren't always what they look like and that they can change for the better. Even 'demons', the undead - aren't mindless beings solely there to cause torment or kill people. I've got a responsibility towards the people and places that were under my charge and whom I owe, as well as innocent people, which are probably no longer under my custody or were ever mine to begin with, but it's not like I wanted countless deaths under my name or people to die for me. I probably am grateful for the sacrifices other people have done for me, despite not necessarily wanting it in the first place. I am unable to fulfill my obligations however, so I do not mind just passing the ownership of whatever I somehow inherited to someone else. There are very few people that actually care about me and to be honest, I'd rather choose them, but would be nice to do the right thing. I'm not willing to step over people to get something I don't deserve. I never wanted the money for myself, it was more to influence other people to do something good with it. I know I'm not particularly important in the grand scheme of things. Even when I can't do much, I'm thinking of helping other people, so please don't go on tirade about how totally selfish I've been, because at the end of the day, perhaps they don't know what my motives are or know me as well as they think they do, I squashed some of the impulses and squashed the need to be "selfish" quite a bit, just so I could understand other people better and be open minded about them and other people wouldn't be bothered, and while I've always stated that I am grateful towards others, I help other people when I do actually come across somebody who needs help and was actually genuinely caring in spite of my severe depression problems, that make it hard for me to get through the day at times, even if I do try. I probably did do things I have regretted for reasons. Some of them are probably in response to someone acting like an asshole. However, I never hated anyone, it was either in self defense, or other reasons. The only person I actually disliked at one point was Kil, but more because of reasons having to do with someone I knew from the past and personal reasons that happened after a certain incident, that I've already put behind me and forgiven. Even if he did have decent morals and truly did seem to care about his friends... I could respect that. It's just at the time I honestly felt resentment that... I did try to squash. Somehow winded up making a decision. Truth be told, I never really actually wanted to own it, even if I was mocked for it, but I still could not help but feel the way I did. Part of the reason I felt resentment was over someone I knew - this person was Gus that I did not know was still lurking around as someone else. I was never a bully to people who themselves weren't bullies... I felt that I did at least try not to be a bully and be nice. I have a weird sense of humor - It's mostly self depreciating. If it's not, it's not really insulting towards other people and more of a playful humor. If it is, it's only because I think you're acting like a major asshole, but people change and they aren't always what they look like. I do try to give people a chance... It's not like I hold grudges forever. I'm pretty much willing to discard the past slights that have happened to start anew. People don't actually know me that well, I'm pretty much far from despotic or tyrannical, but you know I'm not perfect though I try to be good. My wildest wishes woulda been to help people who need it, where nobody got framed for shit they didn't do, where nobody died over something so petty and where second chances were possible, all the while preventing some major disasters from passing. Though, there were times that I've done things for other people due to personal attachments that probably don't make me look great. I've never been racist, but I do know when people actually troll, however love isn't a bad thing. I've never called anyone stupid for saving me. In fact, I'm quite grateful, though I'm being offered to be saved based on a criteria that lists why I don't deserve to be saved and why I do. There's people that I can't disregard though because I know they really aren't as bad they tend to come off as due to me knowing them personally and the motives people have had in the past. Even if I actually felt like dying at the time, but it's okay not to be perf all the time. There's things I'll probably disagree with sometimes with other people even if they are my friends. I don't expect other people to agree with me all the time. If I'm wrong, it's not like I have trouble admitting it. :l

That awkward moment when you find out who Frank is. O.o

I don't care if I lose, if I'm failing the right way. Though, nice to succeed the right way. It's not about winning at the cost of everyone and everything else. If you find yourself alone and need a friend, I am least likely to abandon you in spirit, and I feel like framing people and sacrificing other people is not a tactic I'm willing to use. If I'm going to die, I'd rather die on my own terms. I'd rather not let others die for me. If you can accept a loser as a friend, then I don't mind being that loser. Even if I have lost, at least I can learn from it and be stopped if I'm over the line.

I was never truly evil nor mean. I didn't torture anyone, just disagreed with a couple of other people. If an alien happens to care about me... Then I'd probably accept that and return that within limits. I am a pacifist generally and if people hate me for that, then I probably shouldn't care. Although I am generally a pacifist, there are times where self-defense can be justifiable, just don't expect me not to do anything in response to other people going way too much over a line, nowadays, it's probably way less worse than what they do to other people, but if there's a way to solve something without force, that's the more desirable route to me. I respect people who fight for reform, compassion, justice, the innocent and the weak... People that help people. I'd prefer to avoid killing and destruction if at all possible. There are few people that have ever truly cared about me and stood up for me... I'm not going to abandon someone just because they lost or are on the losing side, but even so, people do change and aren't always what they look like. Surviving is probably more productive to doing good than dying is. 'Bombing' people isn't going to solve anything. By the way, I never framed anyone, I'm innocent of that. I do have genuine kindness for people, but I'm tired of trying to be kind to someone who would most likely throw me into the dirt, who doesn't really care about me. I used to not really care much about my own life and I wanted to die, but not before I needed to set things right. If I did have a choice between being popular and someone who actually cared me, I'd probably choose the person who cared within a limit. Yeah, I care about my children, but I honestly would not allow them to do anything they wanted that is too much over the line and I wouldn't let someone else kill my friends. People aren't what they look like. I've never sought to emulate the cruelty of someone else and I'm not an inherently cruel person, it's just a past image that I know other people will probably use against me... and I know when I'm being manipulated by someone else.

Right, when you threaten someone else it doesn't count at all, but when someone else does it to you after you've repeatedly done it to someone else, it's somehow unfair. At least I know my actions don't really aim to kill people or that I avoid killing, but you know, if I somehow feel like it, it's because of a feeling of retaliation, of being pushed, and I have morals, but I don't enjoy killing and I'd never sacrifice other people to a 'god' of destruction to keep myself alive and avoid sacrificing anyone really, metaphorically speaking. I'd also never bring about destruction to other nations since I'm pretty much mostly a reformist. Though, defense can be understandable. I do like measures of independence when a nation/guilds could stand on their own, rather than being swallowed up by another super-nation, that really just want to rule the 'world', but I suppose there's also context to be considered, why do they want to rule the world and how did they do it? If that somehow infringes on the survival of people that are important to me, or the destruction of my home and nation, then I probably kind of have to side against that in defense. But yeah, there are a few moral limitations that I would not cross... You can always avoid killing people in general in an illogical world just sayin and there's no necessity or reasonable reason to kill, not much point in doing it. Well see, I never killed anyone to take over the throne or ever sacrificed other people to do it, it's probably why I'm crownless. I feel happier never having had a crown and never having done it. Then again, maybe those who are deemed destructive aren't anymore or maybe people were so afraid of them, that they just happened to be labeled 'destructive' but aren't. People do change. :l

... I have a son named Jason.

According to Alex, Gus has flown into space and that Alex's mom says to think of Gus as one of those stars above. o_o

They call me Sinnamon, but no, I'm not a slut, please don't be degrading. I would not knowingly be with someone that I did not love romantically or already had someone, without some sort of consent and knowledge of it. I'm the type of person who would actually be empathetic to someone elses' feelings concerning other people. Yes, I know how to spell. ;)

If I somehow owe my life to someone else, according to my honor code, I have to return that within limits.

Go on and try to kill me in spite... I'll drag you down with me this time instead of just laying down and dying because I'm feeling stubborn nowadays. It's not like I go on murder sprees to avenge my death... least of all innocent people, did I not say that I'm fine being dead? It's pretty much just a point of pride. I'm not going to 'beg' someone else to spare me, but if they do, I kind of have to be grateful and return that within limits, but living isn't even a crime in the first place. Sparing me is kinda moot if you tried to kill me in the first place, but I can't let other people die due to my actions. Sorry, I'm a bit cracked from the old days and so tired. I wasn't a violent person. I don't have a disregard for lives, as evidenced by me saying I didn't want anyone to die a long time ago. I said that if I somehow got one million dollars, I would use one million dollars to help people who need it, but anyone could do that not just me. If I have to pass it on to someone else that will use one million dollars for good, to help people, well it doesn't matter if it's not me. If I had to choose between good friends, power and virtual value money however, it'd probably be those good friends because for me, out of these three values only one has attachment value, but within moral limits. Besides, I'm not the best person to hold the trigger or even have power, perhaps in a few years when I've gotten my shit together or am actually interested in it, but for now I'm so content in just feeling some spirits still with me. I do understand though that both power and money can be used for good and to help others and for survival, but it doesn't matter if it's not me that has it as long as the people who have it are using it responsibly, for good and to generally help people. Though, perhaps some people really aren't as bad as they come off as. This is what I'd like to believe. I pretty much said this before I tried to commit metaphorical suicide... Not willing to betray those who trust in me, but there's kind of limits to total loyalty. I've said things behind the scenes that I didn't really mean, during dark, complicated periods and moments in my life... I know a few people will probably hold that against me. You know, just because you label me evil doesn't mean I actually am. I've spent a lot of my time showing empathy for other people that in all probability don't actually give a damn about me. Then perhaps being discarded because I don't know, maybe they think I have no other value other than being a tool or shield for them. I'm not a total idiot though and overall I wasn't a cruel person and neither did I 'torture' anyone, though I did feel like teaching someone a lesson sometimes... I don't really care about royal status, but it's just something that I happened to somehow end up with sometimes. Not going to lie though, an incident irked me to the point where yes, I did consider doing something to someone else who did something to someone else, and also did something to me however, but only for it to not fall through due to reasons. I did have a previous nun plan so I felt kind of responsible for something. I wouldn't bomb my previous home, however, even because of this incident. I feel like that incident has long passed already, and I've already forgiven other people for it, though I don't know if someone else has forgiven someone. I've had friends I don't always agree with. I didn't kill anyone, I just tried to kill myself and yes I knew from the start there were people watching me and recording me... I'm not the type of person that would step over other people to succeed, and yeah I may fail but at the very least I can fail the right way. At least I don't make other people my scapegoats and actually attempted to take responsibility, but I DIDN'T FRAME THE MAYOR OF ZOOTOPIA FOR CRIMES HE DID NOT commit... If anything somebody is attempting to place the blame all on me just because I was attempting to die. #!(*#1(FHUY#. I just don't really have it in me to kill anyone, but just don't go expecting other people to not react to you when you've done things to other people. I also didn't frame NICK OR JUDY... and I didn't kill anyone. Oh, another thing, I didn't make anyone attempt to kill another girl, so don't even go there. I didn't torture people, though I did have an urge to merely teach someone a lesson mostly because of how they act towards other people, but I always did try to give someone else a chance. People do change though or maybe they aren't always what they look like. I'm not cruel or sadistic by default. I actively attempted to refrain from going over the line, but it kinda sucks when you've been trying to be kind to someone who doesn't really give a damn about you. Let me just stare holes into a wall until I feel better.

I do care about my friends and I wouldn't kill them, ya know... My default personality was actually a kind person, but I just didn't know how to translate that sometimes. There's other things I've had to do for other people that don't make me look great, but it doesn't matter to me if I have lost and have failed, at the very least I could return what I owed to someone else within limits. I do have a sense of honor, justice, the law and morals, but in a world where people aren't always what they look like, not everything is always 'real' and second chances are possible, I'd rather take second chances with people. People change. Though, I probably won't kill innocent people. There's only a few people that ever actually cared about me, through thick and thin, even with some of my mistakes, and I feel the need to return that, even help them on their road to becoming who they want to be, rather than what other people perceive them to be and if that happens to be good, then why not? When people label you, do you go against that or just go along with it just because it's how people perceive you even though you know that it's not really you? Aren't you at least a bit irked when you go down for something you didn't do? I didn't even care about my own life before, but it's like having something follow you for the rest of your life just because of that one mistake, then having be blamed for them just because you did it once even though you've attempted to be good. Yeah, I can snap sometimes but it's mostly in response to someone else who doesn't particularly act nice at times, but I always tried to be nice and give other people chances despite the fact that they've previously threatened to kill me. Just don't expect me to just do nothing in response the next time, but it sure as hell is a lot more tame than what other people tend to do to others when they go overboard. I'm finally getting my life together again and getting a going in a positive direction partly because of the help and spirits of good friends and I'm just pretty grateful overall. : )

I didn't frame anyone by the way. I really didn't. I actively avoided ever killing anyone. I didn't kill innocent people. Don't attempt to pin that on me just because I attempted to die.

I would not choose to save myself, if it ever came down to a choice between me and someone who is like a sister to me, not even if I was betrayed, but I'd probably thank that sister for at least trying to save me, and I would do the same for someone. There's probably some good type of trolls out there just as there are not so good trolls.

My objective wasn't to take over the world and it wasn't in my interest. That was someone elses', but people do change and can become good even after they've made mistakes, including myself. I just secretly didn't place much value in my own virtual life before...

Thinking about this further, I will not abandon you Lou, but I would understand if I was. Real friends will not abandon others both when the chips are down or to be popular, but I got limits on what is acceptable to me. I don't have what it takes to do certain things. Though, I do think that people aren't always what they look like and that people do change.

I am least likely to bully or attack girls, and I don't go out of my way to do this, simply because I'm not adherent to cat fighting. I merely have a hard time expressing things at times. I am not great at things regarding social situations or interactions... A lot of the time it's me merely trying to fix something that went sour between them due to reasons. Other reasons that aren't malicious. I admit though, that sometimes I can snap a little due to other people being hostile towards me and feel like reacting in retaliation, mainly feeling like I want to teach someone a lesson not really out of being malicious, but otherwise I have always tried to at least to give other people a chance. I have never framed people, and I'm not after power or even keeping power, but I can at least relate to wanting to protect family. I was at one point, even prepared to lose the queen or princess title because it wasn't really important to me. I am not 'willing' to betray anyone who trusts in me, but I'm not willing to do something that's totally horrible for power or money or revenge even. At one point, Quasimodo was something I thought about frequently, but I don't know. Apparently, he never liked me. I thought that he was kind of a hero to me. I also did think about Shizuo Heiwajima, who I kind of eventually found out was someone. I don't really think about being beautiful much, but it doesn't matter. I just think that inner beauty is much more important. Anyways son, it's fine if I die on gaia, as long as it's at least honorable, as long as the people I care about don't, but depends on whether or not if they want to live, ain't it? People do change and aren't always what they look like eh? Second chances are always nice. I don't really have a reason to be there anymore, because virtual values don't really exist unless you count the real world money and time you put into it and by extent the sentimental value you derive from it, but things don't have to be destructive, other than to occasionally contact people I care about. By default, I am kind of counter-chaos unless it's change for good and it's done the right way, don't even have to kill people, but I would probably choose friends. Since I owe my virtual life to people, including friends, I don't mind dying on gaia if it keeps them alive... I wouldn't really want anyone to die for me. I'll just be a ghost and l will live elsewhere. Can always avoid dying altogether to be honest and avoid killing, sometimes you really don't have an option though. The most important thing for a cause, is the reasons behind it and how it's done. Though, despite how blunt and sometimes mean-looking someone can be, they do have reasonable information to learn from. There is a big difference between freedom fighting, terrorism and peacefully protesting. There's gotta be good reasons for it instead of a flimsy excuse to start a war for entertainment. Also, sending a ton of gangs after one person to hunt them down, specially someone who is innocent, is a tactic I wouldn't personally use and avoid using in a guild environment. I'd probably just get research done first and then if someone's way too much over the line, I'll probably just try and make them accountable for actions, but I tend to always give someone a chance first and negotiate.

I probably wouldn't use tactics that are worse than the other person. I wouldn't falsify something to get someone convicted of a crime they didn't commit... I'd rather be loved than feared, but being loved and liked isn't everything. Sides, I'm harmless mostly, a pussy that no one fears. Well, maybe someone did once, not regular fear but fear of losing power due to the guild political opportunities that were once given to me, that I never took in all the years that I could've. Do I regret that I lost that opportunity. Not really. The only thing that I did regret were the deaths that happened. I have a particularly low drive for revenge that I tend to keep squashed till there's nothing but forgiveness, but I do like the concept of redemption, justice and compassion. If I was really determined to make someone's life a living hell out of retaliation of making my own life or someone elses' life a living hell however, against someone who deserved it, I could, but I hold off on that because of the possibility that a change could occur and I just think that they could change in general. I lost that opportunity, but gained new friends that I couldn't have met without losing it. Though, I miss some of my old friends. Most people don't really know me well. I am kind, but it doesn't really show much of the time, just because I am imperfect though, it doesn't mean I've got a bad personality. Higher class doesn't mean that they're better than lower class people by ignoring them. I'm not ungrateful nor rude generally, I only respond that way to someone who is unbearably rude at times and I don't even say anything when a petty fight starts. It's not me. I'm not the narcissist. I mean I don't look at myself and say I'm good at everything and I am beautiful. Though I reflect on what actions I do. I'm not rich and don't get everything I want either... I know the value of saving money for things that are actually needed. I don't even ask for much. I'm decent at some things, but I don't think that I'm good at everything... It's because I'm kind of a wreck at times and I can't really multitask well that I don't really focus much on things. Don't put words into my mouth. :*(

I never thought of romance until a certain point so I didn't really have jealousy towards another person. I didn't knowingly pursue someone else already with a girlfriend. I kind of even encouraged that someone to hold on to what was important to them.

I kind of wonder what happens when you try to show empathy to Ganondorf, I mean will he react differently? Like when Gaara was shown empathy by Naruto, he changed and got the relationships that he craved during childhood when he was actually trying to help people but they were scared of him. Thinking about this further.

I kind of wonder what Carl is doing nowadays... I wouldn't have even minded dying for him. No amount of money in the world could convince me to do something horrible to someone else who's not deserving or for a selfish reason, even if I was abandoned, but I tend to hold on to the last thread when it comes to other people, at least until someone cuts the thread themselves. I was never after fame. I feel that the mere suggestion that I would 'kill' someone else, let alone a friend, for a selfish and petty reason is quite frustrating. I wouldn't. If that's what you think, then you probably don't know me at all.

Is it too much to ask to rest in peace without worrying if someone going to stab me to death in malice elsewhere other than gaia in which I attempted to commit metaphorical suicide? Says something about you more than it does me. I'll take your metaphorical knife out of my gut like it's nothing. Now, I can't always just trust anyone I first come across, even if I wanted to, but I wanted to be able to trust people again... There's people I know I can trust and believe in and in the end, I'm just grateful for that. I merely wanted to lend that trust to change people, but I guess that doesn't apply to me, no matter how many times I've lended that trust to someone else. I find myself questioning why I attempt to even care about someone who most likely doesn't care about me, but in the end perhaps it's just a general human being caring type of thing, instead of a personal caring type of thing. I'll care about someone in a personal manner if they care about me in a personal manner. For me, real friends are hard to find, so what I thought was this. To get real friends, one must be a real friend to someone else. I won't be gone in spirit when you fall, not till the last thread is cut. If you're going to use your life for good, then I have no reason to see you fall, even if you don't care about me in the slightest. You want to know what my true nature is? I'm pretty loyal to a moralistic extent. I'm kind but don't expect me to be a doormat for your abuse. That is my true nature no matter how much I'm painted as someone I'm not on here. Yeah, you don't know me enough to judge me.

Favorite Characters:

Yuuta Togashi - He probably wants to start over clean as he is embarrassed about his past...

There is nothing wrong with wanting to start clean. Yuuta is actually kind.

Fisher Tiger - He hates humans, but doesn't discriminate against slaves. He spared Koala when he could've shot her and took the slave mark off.

Jack Sparrow - He was left to die on an island after being mutinied by Barbossa and crew. Spent the next 10 years plotting revenge for it. I can't help but feel sympathy for him due to this. He's a pacifist and instead relies on other methods. He's probably come out a change man from those days.

Portgas D. Ace - Newgate did eventually come to view Ace as a son.

Quasimodo - He's actually a kind person behind the aura that he tends to give off.

Dante - Proud of what he's become, but even if he hadn't, I would probably disagree with him over things, though I'd still care about him. I do believe he's changed for the better and he wasn't always what he looked like.

Rem -

Gelus -

Hal - Cuz, even if he had done all of that and some other things, he can change too and learn from mistakes... Not everyone's always what they look like, but even so, he did seem nice from before, and maybe he has changed or isn't as bad as he looks.

Steve - I always thought he was kind of a nice guy, and smart, but not everyone is one dimensional all the time. Strict. To be honest, if I actually knew that it was him, based on the principle that he seems like he doesn't deserve to die, I probably wouldn't even attempt anything on him. He seemed like a guy that knew what he was doing but came across as socially awkward and offhandedly said something that irritated people, but overall a fairly nice guy.

Lelouch Lamperouge-Vi Britannia -

Alucard -

Max - Seems like a guy that just wants people to love him.

Masaomi Kida - He cares about his friends.

Hercule - He does genuinely care about justice and defending the weak. Probably the reason Majin Buu changed. Even people who've made mistakes can change.

Favorite Pairings (I'm shipping all the enemies together! 1!! 1):

I think the following has interesting lyrics:

In this moment - Whore

One Mic - Nas

The All-American Rejects - Top of the World

Linkin Park - Leave Out All The Rest

Breaking Benjamin - What Lies Beneath