Postal Dude



Postal Dude is the unnamed protagonist from the Postal game series.

Story
In the first game, Postal Dude had no back-story at all, being shown just as a common postal service worker who goes on a killing spree for no actual reason, deciding to kill everyone in town. His story is better developed in the sequel, the developer Running With Scissors had confirmed that the Postal 1 Dude is not the same one as in the sequel.

A fired postal service worker only known as Postal Dude moves to the town of Paradise, Arizona, after being hired by the independent game company Running With Scissors Inc. He lives in a trailer with his pet dog Champ and his unnamed obnoxious wife, whom he just calls his bitch. His wife gives him a list of errands to complete, which at first seem to be simple things, but Postal Dude is not the only crazy guy in the town, so at every errand he does he encounters resistance fro many different fanatic groups, such as terrorists, cult members, protestors, police officers, rednecks and angry townsfolk. By the end of Monday, PD is fired, so his wife gives him errands for the rest of the week. Every time PD returns to the trailer, he is seen talking with his wife, often on a hostile tone. By the end of Friday, his wife asks him if he remembered her Rocky Road ice cream, which she told him on Monday not to forget. His wife starts swearing at him again, the PD shoots himself in the head with a pistol to stop listening to her.

On saturday, the PD wakes up in a hospital, discovering that he somehow had survived the bullet, leaving his coma, he walks by the hospital to donate his semen to gain money so he can go eat something, however on his path he starts to have weird hallucinations, seeing a distorted version of the world because of the wound on his head. He gets some get well cards in the hospital, one of them being from his wife telling him she had left him, and others telling him his dog Champ had been taken to the dog pound. As he walks through the city, he notices everything has gone crazy, as now zombies roam the place. He is re-hired by Running With Scissors, who gives him new errands, such as retrieving a disc from a rival company and a nuclear bomb from a terrorist camp. He retrieves everything and rescues his dog, deciding to leave Paradise, but he is stopped by the God of Hellfire, Mike J. Cosher Mad Cow Zombie, He is forced to confront the demon, killing him and leaving the town with his dog, as the place is completely destroyed by the nuclear bomb. Saying his famous quote "I regret nothing!".

(Non-canon) Sometime later, the Dude's car gets out of Gas, and he is forced to stop on Paradise's twin city, Catharsis, which is extremely similiar to Paradise but much smaller, out of Gas, money and food the PD decides to work on the city trying to get some money, so he can continue his trip out of the country.

During his path, the PD finds several odd jobs, such as working on a porn shop, hired by the 70's pornstar Ron Jeremy to clean the Sex shop, yet a group of angry feminists (led by Sarah Palin) invade the store, Ron says he will double the payment to him if the PD gets them out of there, however at the moment the Dude defeats them all Ron had fled the scene, extremely angry with Ron, the PD starts chasing him through Catharsis while making more odd jobs on his path, there are three endings on the game, the Bad, in which the Postal Dude is arrested, the Normal, where he gets gas and simply leaves the town, or the good, where the PD defeats the Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez and becomes the new president of the U.S.

However, as the game Postal III is not canon itself, it is completely unknown what happend to the Dude after he gets out of Catharsis in Postal 2.

Personality
Postal Dude hates everyone and everything, except for his dog named Champ, as he blames the world itself for his miserable life. He just wants to mind his own business and be left alone, but people seem to get in his way everytime.

The Postal Dude has three known relatives, his father Postal Dude Sr. (whom he hates because he was a alchoolic, drugged person) which died in 1996 and his corpse is in the Paradise Cemetery, his unnamed Mother (which he hates too) which leaves in a unknown place of the Country, and his uncle Dave, a rich guy-esque drug dealer.

In the movie
Postal Dude is a very different character in the movie adaptation of the game. There, he is shown as a very unlucky guy who just wanted to live without problems. He can't get a decent job and his wife, who is morbidly obese, cheats on him with everyone in town. Unable to stand for all of this anymore, he decides to get some money to leave the place, so he makes a deal with his uncle Dave, who is the leader of a cult, to steal a shipment of popular dolls (who resemble a scrotum) and sell them at a high price. However, the Al Qaeda was also after the dolls, prompting a confrontation between the members of the cult and the terrorist group. Dave's right hand man kills him and imprisons PD in the compound of the cult. After escaping, PD goes nuts and starts a war against everyone, joined only by a bar-woman whom he had met before. As all fanatic groups confront each other, the two leave the town as it is bombarded by nuclear missiles. Postal Dude was portrayed by Zack Ward.

Trivia

 * The Postal Dude is one of (if not the most) controversial villains of all time, many gun incidents such as the Dawnson College Shooting in 2006, and several bomb threats are linked to him, as the perpetrators were avid Postal game fans and the PD was their favorite character.
 * The way of wearing a tall black trench coat in Postal 1 gave some controversy in 1999, as the perpetrators of the Columbine Massacre used black trench coats and weapons similiar to the Dude's, however, gamers replied that the perpetrators in fact never played Postal, and the trench coat wearing is merely a coincidence.
 * The Postal Dude appears to like goat milk and donuts by his quotes.
 * The PD is voiced by Rick Hunter in Postal 1 and Postal 2, in Postal 3 he is voiced by Cory Cruise.
 * As seen in early images, the Postal Dude was african-american.
 * Whoever is caught selling/playing/buying Postal games in New Zealand can get up to 5 years in jail.