Cell (Dragon Ball Abridged)

"♩ P is for Pricless, the look upon your faces E is for Extinction, all your puny races R for Revolution, which will be televised F is for how F**ked you are, now allow me to reprise E is for Eccentric, just listen to my song C is for Completion, that I've waited for so long T is for the Terror, upon you I'll bestow My name is Perfect Cell, and I'd like to say... Hello♩"

- Cell singing upon reaching perfection.

Cell is the main antagonist of Season 3 of the Dragon Ball Abridged series. He made his debut at the end of episode 42 when he was still in his Imperfect form.

The Cell Saga
His origins are pretty much the same as they were in the original series. What makes Cell different from the other antagonists, however, is that he was actually played seriously. When Kami was discussing him with Piccolo, Piccolo himself lampshaded the fact that the tone of the episode changed, and Mr. Popo also expressed concern regarding this new threat.

Cell himself didn't make a full appearance until episode 42 of the abridged series. In it, it is shown that he massacred an entire town of people and was shown dragging a dead body with him. What makes this scene especially nightmare-inducing is that he was singing "Mr. Sandman" all while he was dragging the body alongside himself. He then dropped the body at Piccolo's feet, and the episode then ends with Cell's breathing.

In Episode 43, Piccolo demands to know what Cell is, and he responds with a question of his own: Loudly asking Piccolo if he wants to see him "drink" the body he was dragging, who turns out to have been alive. He then stabs the man with his tail and graphically absorbs him, much to Piccolo's horror and Nail's revulsion. After finishing his "meal", Cell asks Piccolo what brings him to "his" neighborhood, and when Piccolo says he felt a disturbance, Cell admits that, yes, he is pretty disturbing, saying him absorbing the civilian moments ago was "fucking weird". Piccolo demands to know why Cell wiped out the city, and Cell claims there were three reasons: First, he was in stasis for four years and is now very hungry. Second, he claims that his greatest pleasure is "The rush I get when I watch someone disappear". And finally, he reveals that absorbing people is how he gains power, which he demonstrates by emitting a powerful aura.

Disgusted, Piccolo grudgingly admits that he and Cell actually have something in common. Cell admits that that's true in more ways than he realizes, but lets Piccolo continue. Piccolo then says that they both gain significant power by absorbing others, and demonstrates his new found power from fusing with Kami to level the now empty city and bury Cell under rubble.

Cell, unsurprisingly, survives and realizes that Piccolo has fused with Kami. After fighting for several moments, Cell asks him if he wants to see something cool, and attacks him with the Special Beam Cannon, a technique only Piccolo should know. Piccolo deflects the blast and demands to know how Cell knows his technique. Cell responds by saying that imitation is the greatest form of flattery, and demonstrates this by next attacking Piccolo with Goku's (And Gohan's, and Vegeta's, and Roshi's, and Krillin's, and Piccolo himself that one time he did it just to see if he could) Kamehameha.

Piccolo escapes the blast, only for Cell to grab him from behind and, after making unsubtle comparisons to rape, attempts to absorb him. Piccolo manages to escape, but his left arm is now withered and powerless. Piccolo pretends that this means he can't fight anymore in order to trick Cell into revealing his origins. Falling for it, Cell explains how Doctor Gero created him by using the DNA of the galaxy's strongest fighters, explaining how he knows their techniques. Piccolo then reveals his ruse by regrowing his arm, moments before Krillin and Future Trunks show up. Realizing he's outmatched for the moment, Cell uses Tien's Solar Flare to blind the trio and make his escape.

In Episode 44, Cell is searching for a city to attack when he finds a street sign with very confusing directions. As he tries to determine where he is, a Battle Ball bus drives up, and the driver impatiently, yet politely, tries to get Cell to move out the way. Cell's only response is to mockingly imitate the bus driver beeping his horn. Eventually, the Battle Ball team confronts Cell, who asks what the name of their team is so he can make fun of it. When he learns that the team name is yet another joke about the sign's confusing directions, Cell decides he's "too hungry for this shit" and absorbs the entire team and then the bus driver, but not before imitating his horn beeping one last time.

Later, Cell is seen looking over Nicky Town and seductively starts talking to it. Shockingly, the town actually begins talking back to him in a shrill, feminine voice, begging him to hurry up and attack it. Cell says he will soon, but Nicky Town starts whining and demanding he attack immediately, eventually causing Cell to furiously snap that he does what he wants.

When Cell actually does attack Nicky Town, he does so in a brutal, nightmarish fashion. Towards the end of his rampage, he mockingly calls up the town's local radio station while in the middle of absorbing someone and requests "Video Killed the Radio Star". Shortly afterwards, he breaks into the studio and brutally absorbs the DJs. The episode ends with him temporarily taking control of the radio station and playing songs that play into his killing spree, such as "Killing Me Softly" and "All by Myself".

Cell is not seen again until the end of Episode 46, where he suddenly appears during Piccolo's fight with Android 17 and sinisterly asks if they have "room for one more". In Episode 47, Cell mockingly thanks Piccolo for leading him to his "siblings", Androids 17 and 18, finally revealing that he intends to absorb them both in order to achieve "perfection". He also reveals that he's grown far, far stronger than he was when he and Piccolo last fought, and when Piccolo demands to know how many people he killed to get that power, Cell simply responds, "Enough." 17 initially refuses to believe that Cell is from the future, and attempts to blow him of, but Cell responds by slamming him into the ground and preparing to absorb him before Piccolo saves him. 17 admits that he may now believe that Cell is a "future bug man" and asks Piccolo where they go from here. Cell responds with "Inside me", prompting 17 to tell him to stop it. Piccolo then says that Cell is comprised of the DNA and powers of the Galaxy's strongest fighters, but Cell then says that Piccolo doesn't need to "flatter" him because he's already inside him, again prompting Piccolo to tell him to stop it. Piccolo and Cell then fight, Piccolo seemingly finishing Cell off with a Light Grenade that destroys a large chunk of the island. Cell survives, however, and breaks Piccolo's neck with a single punch. He then blasts him through the chest before throwing him into the sea, seemingly killing him.

Cell then turns his attention to his "siblings". 17 refuses to go down without a fight, however, and charges him, but Cell easily overpowers him and prepares to absorb him. Cell gloats that, once he absorbs 17 and 18, he will destroy all life on Earth, including Son Goku. Unfortunately for him, this ends up angering Android 16, who is obsessed with killing Goku due to his faulty, incomplete programming. 16 attacks Cell and knocks him away. When 17 asks how 16 can be attacking Cell if he's only programmed to kill Goku, 16 says that Cell is made up of 10.72% of Goku's DNA, and these parameters are acceptable. Cell and 16 charge each other, and soon Cell seemingly gets the upper hand and prepares to absorb him, only to find that 16 is an actual Android (unlike 17 and 18, who are technically cyborgs), and is thus made of pure metal. Realizing that "errors have been made", Cell is suddenly grabbed by the tail and slammed into the ground. Cell attempts to dissuade 16 from tearing off his tail, but he does so anyway. Furious, Cell instantly regrows his tail thanks to Piccolo's DNA and snarls that that "hurt like hell". When 16 then states his next attempt will be on Cell's head, he responds by saying he'll never have the chance. Cell then tosses 16 away and charges him, but 16 knocks him back with a rocket punch (much to 18's disbelief and 17's amazement). Cell is then slammed into a crater before being blasted by 16's arm cannons. However, even this is not enough to kill Cell, and while the Androids are discussing how they no longer want to do evil (though 16 still wants to kill Goku), Cell bursts from the crater and absorbs 17, achieving his Semi Perfect form.

In Episode 48, Cell is fascinated by his new form's lips, and "tests" them out by making annoying noises with them until 16 punches him in the face. Cell responds by blasting 16 away, destroying a large chunk of the right side of his head in the process. He then turns his attention to 18, who threatens to detonate the bomb in her chest (though Cell at first thinks its in her breast) if he tries to absorb her. Cell attempts to dissuade her by conjuring an illusion of 17, but the illusion is so absurdly out of character that it doesn't work (In his defense, Cell had only known him for a few minutes).

However, before either Cell can advance or 18 can activate her bomb, they are interrupted by Tien, who in the previous episode had decided to enter the fray after becoming sick and tired of being overshadowed by others. Cell mocks Tien, claiming his power is on par with Krillin's, and that he's no where near the level of him, the Androids, and especially not the Saiyans. Enraged, Tien attacks Cell with his Shin Kikoho, plunging Cell into the ground and allowing 18 and 16 to escape. Tien continues to attack with the Shin Kikoho, much to Cell's protest, until his excessive use of the technique severely weakens him and causes him to collapse.

Before Cell can finish him off, Goku suddenly appears, having remembered he can use Instant Transmission. Stunned by this, Cell is left speechless as Goku collects Tien and the miraculously still alive Piccolo. As Cell stammers about how durable Piccolo is, Goku catches him off guard by darkly telling him that he will die for his crimes before teleporting away with Tien and Piccolo. Flabbergasted, Cell shouts that he has "so many questions" about what just happened.

Episode 49 opens with Cell furiously ranting about Tien and Goku interfering with his plans and how they allowed 18 to escape and take refuge on one of the many island dotting the ocean. His ranting is suddenly interrupted by Frank, an inhabitant of one of the islands. Mistaking Cell's hunt for 18 as a lover's quarrel, Frank tries to offer Cell relationship advice, much to his annoyance. Eventually, after Frank ends up getting into an argument with his neighbor, Cell snaps and decides to destroy the islands one by one to flush out 18, killing thousands, Frank included.

Soon, only one island remains intact, the same one 18 and 16 are hiding on. Realizing that this means 18 is either on that island or was on one of the destroyed islands (meaning she would be dead), Cell briefly reconsiders destroying the final island, but ultimately decides to do it anyway because he's already "in for a penny". However, before he can destroy it, he is confronted by Vegeta and Trunks, fresh from a year's worth of training in Mr. Popo's Hyperbolic Time Chamber. Cell immediately starts to mock Vegeta by, among other things, bringing up his humiliating defeat at 18's hands. Vegeta brushes off the insults at first, but then Cell "pushes the Goku button" by reminding him that Goku will always be stronger than him. Immediately flying into a rage, Vegeta goes ascended super Saiyan and sucker punches Cell in the chest as the episode ends.