Romans (Monty Python)

"Not just from us, but our father's fathers, and what have they ever given us in return?"

- Reg on his famous speech about the Romans

The Romans are the main antagonists in the Monty Python film Life of Brian.

Origins
The Romans are from Italy, but have invaded Israel, in 63 BC, the Romans invaded and took everything from the Jews. The Romans have a genocidal hatred of the Jews and many of their crucifixion victims had often been because the victims were Jewish.

In 28 AD, the Romans had been around for hundreds of years in Israel, and had set up a palace for Caesar and visitors from Rome. Many factions had been formed to fight the oppressors, such as the Judean People's Front, the People's Front of Judea, the Judean Popular People's Front, and the Popular Front.

The Romans inspired fear in their enemies and they often used crucifixion indiscriminately and often.

Biography
The Romans are shown in the film as being the evil rulers of Israel in 28 AD. The Romans are first shown watching the Sermon on the Mount with other residents. During the Sermon, a fight breaks out in the back when Cheeky calls a stranger "Big Nose" and the Romans angrily come in to break up the riot.

The Romans are seen presiding over their Stonings; Matthais is being sentenced for Stoning but, after repeatedly saying "Jehova" he angers the crowd and the Romans, and when the Roman official begins to say "Jehova" he is eventually Stoned by the mob. The other Romans do nothing.

Brian gets home and finds a Roman in his house and his mother tells him to be grateful for the Romans because without them they would be poor. She says Brian's father was a Roman, naming him "Naughtius Maximus." Brian takes this as rape and denounces all ties with the evil Romans.

Brian then joins the People's Front of Judea and he becomes a freedom fighter. Reg gives him his first assignment to write "Romans go home" across the palace, which Brian mistakes for "Romani eunt domus" which an exasperated Roman tells Brian is actually "people called Romani they go to the house?" and the Roman gives Brian a Latin lesson telling him to write the correct wording all over the walls and have it done by sunrirse, if it's not done then, the Roman will cut Brian's balls off. Brian does get it done but the Romans then say "Don't do it again!" and leave him. But more Romans come, and chase him for arrest. But Brian is saved by the People's Front.

The Romans then return to Matthais' house, where he is doorman for the People's Front, determined to hunt Brian and arrest him. The Romans fail to find him.

Brian and the People's Front of Judea break into Ceasar's palace and plan on kidnapping his daughter and blackmailing him. But the whole plan goes wrong, when they meet the People's Freedom Front of Galilee, who get angry at the two groups having the same plan. When Brian says they should work against the "common enemy" the groups ask if he means the Judean People's Front, but he says "No the Romans!"

Both groups manage to kill each other; and Brian is left to be arrested by two Roman guards.

In prison, Brian meets an old fanatic who brags about how the Romans are great and how terrific they are. Then Brian meets Pilate, who says he will crucify him, but Brian says he is a Roman and his father was one. He says his name, Naughtius Maximus, but the guard laughs, and says its a joke name.

Brian escapes, and Pilate has the Romans chase him, hard for them to do because they've been laughing at his friend Biggus Dickus.

Brian is chased through town by the Romans (even getting abducted by aliens briefly) and he meets several Romans who are searching for him when he pretends to be a prophet, but the Romans ignore him, leaving Brian to tail off with "to them only shall be given" and he is staring at the Romans, but the crowd think Brian is about to give them a revelation.

After Brian has been proclaimed to be the Messiah, the Romans arrest him outside his house, and Judith, Brian's friend, beats the Roman guard on his helmet but he just says "Stop that."

The Romans sentence Brian for crucifixion, with their leader Pilate saying "Top off thirty-nine with forty, nice round number eh Biggus?"

The Romans march through the town with the crucifixion party, with Brian in them. The Romans are very cruel and yell at the prisoners to walk faster. At Calvary, the Romans say "it doesn't matter you're all going to be dead in a day or two."

Judith asks for Brian's release, and Pilate, seeing Brian is a real prisoner and not a fictional one, decides to free him. But the Romans take Cheeky down instead when he says he is Brian.

The Romans guarding the crosses are then scard away by the Judean People's Front, running back into the city.