Chris the Crafty Cockney

"I'll nick anything, me!"

- Chris the Crafty Cockney

Chris Jackson, also known as Chris the Crafty Cockney is a recurring character in the British sketch comedy series The Fast Show. He debuted in the show's second season and was created by Paul Whitehouse and Charlie Higson.

He was portrayed by the series' co-creator Paul Whitehouse in all of his appearances.

Biography
Chris claims to be an incurable kleptomaniac. He is left with something valuable and invariably steals it. Because of how upfont he tends to be about his thieving nature, people often believe that he is joking. In one sketch, he even alludes to being an actual clinical kleptomaniac and involuntarily steals from his friend Dan after the latter trusts him to watch his newspaper stall despite Chris having extensively warned him of the risks of doing so. However, it appears that Chris is not entirely depraved, given his tendency to warn people of his thieving nature and the fact that one sketch from a Christmas special showed that he may have a soft spot on children and was revealed to be unable to steal from a child in the same sketch. Chris also seems to be aware of the fact that he is a fictional character, as he looked at the screen and broke the fourth wall to greet the audience a Merry Christmas in the aforementioned Christmas sketch. At the end of episode 3 of The Last Fast Show Ever, Chris was seen in handcuffs being led away by the police.

Appearance
Chris is tall, lanky male with brown hair in a ponytail who appears to be somewhere in his 30's. He is often seen wearing sportswear and sneakers. He can also be seen wearing a jacket in some sketches.

Trivia

 * Chris has been said to be based on a stereotype of East-End Londoners, in that he is prone to stealing anything from anyone for any reason.