Rainbow Randolph

"Friends comes in all sizes."

- Rainbow Randolph

"I'm Rainbow fuckin' Randolph. Kids love me."

- Randolph Smiley aka Rainbow Randolph.

"Rainbow Randolph is the man. Yes, oh yes, he is. He's the prince of Rainbow Land. Yes, oh yes, he is. With some fun, fun here. A laugh, laugh there. Here's a dance, there's a song. Everywhere is fun, fun. Rainbow Randolph is the king...! La, la, la, la...!"

- Rainbow Randolph (singing to the tune "Old Macdonald") while in his psychotic depression.

"I'm a fraud. I'm a wicked man who's done wicked acts."

- Rainbow Randolph

Randolph Smiley aka Rainbow Randolph is the former host of a children television show Rainbow Randolph Show, and he was the main antagonist of the 2002 American dark comedy movie "Death to Smoochy".

He was portrayed by Robin Williams.

History
Randolph Smiley was a natural, marginal Broadway talent who was hired by a children's television network called Kidnet to be the star of his own show. And so there was the Rainbow Randolph Show, with the host Rainbow Randolph, a friendliest man with a playful attitude wearing a white suit with his memorable colorful coat, a yellow bow tie, white casual shoes and a white bowler hat. But on the side during his career and off the set, Randolph makes his business to take bribes from parents to have their kids a spot on his show, and he's been enjoying it in secrecy ever since.

Unknown to the happily corrupt Rainbow Randolph however, he is being watched by the Federal Communications Commission (FFC) who been probing his extracurricular activities on-and-off the stage, they have enlisted the help of the FBI who's involved to help to catch dirty crooks like Randolph Smiley red-handed in a dispicable act.

One night, Randolph Smiley was in a Patsy's Warehouse restaurant in New York, meeting a married couple who approached him with a nice large sum of cash in exchange for their son to have a spot on his show. He tells them he'll call them when the spot on the show opens up. All of sudden, it reveals to be a FBI sting with two federal agents as the parents catching him in the act. They've arrested him and taken him away.

After that night, the news of it spread fast all over the media, newspaper, everything. his show was cancelled and Rainbow Randolph himself was out of business.

Rainbow Randolph's Revenge
6 months later, while Randolph Smiley was currently broke and homeless, his replacement Sheldon Mopes was hired by Kidnet to take over his old timeslot and created his own show "Smoochy's Magic Jungle".

Later, Frank Stokes, Randolph's old friend reluctantly agreed to meet with him. They both met at docks of a peir outside New York City. Randolph begged him to give him back his old timeslot, but there's nothing.

Rainbow Randolph sets a scheme to destroy Mopes's career and regain his show too all fail. Mopes becomes enraged to learn that Burke signed him up to star in a Smoochy ice show he feels that the event will exploit children. Burke and Merv Green, the heads of the corrupt charity running the ice show, unsuccessfully warn Mopes from backing out of the event. Soon afterward, a disguised Randolph dupes Mopes into doing a Smoochy act at a neo-Nazi rally that is raided by the police. Smoochy is labeled a racist and fired. However, when Randolph accidentally lets it slip to Nora that he framed Smoochy, he is arrested. Smoochy's reputation and show are restored. After telling him that his show is back on the air, Nora kisses Mopes and has sex with him, starting a relationship.

Rainbow Randolph in a state of manic depression, was at the middle of Times Square preaching to everyone the pain he suffered at the hands of Smoochy. He decided to end his life, for he can no longer live in a world where the innocent suffers and the wicked thrived, until he was saved by a little girl who he considered his angel right before her daddy grabbed her and took her to see Smoochy when everyone saw him arriving at Times Square. Randolph continued to comtemplate his misery and his hatred of Sheldon Mopes.

Meanwhile, Randolph corners Mopes and Nora in their penthouse and threatens to kill them. They talk him down and discover that he's depressed and genuinely misses entertaining children. An empathetic Mopes offers to let Randolph stay in the penthouse until he recovers.

Burke and Stokes hire heroin addict Buggy Ding Dong, another former host, to assassinate Mopes during his ice show. Buggy steals a backstage pass to get inside. However, Randolph, who has been summoned to the ice show, tackles Buggy just as he tries to shoot Mopes from the rafters. Randolph and Buggy struggle for the sniper rifle, until Buggy falls to his death. After Mopes realizes that Burke and Stokes set him up, he chases after Burke into an alley. He pulls a gun and threatens to kill Burke, but Cotter and her men arrive and persuade him to stop.

The movie ends with Smoochy and Rainbow Randolph with Nora Wells as their co-host, launching a new show together.

Quotes

 * "You want your little booger eater on my show?"
 * "Then don't tell me how to run my f%#kin' business."
 * "I walked into this restaurant, Frank. 10 guys would reached for my hat. I stand up and take a pi$$. They cleared the restroom. You know why, Frank...? I'm Rainbow f#%kin' Randolph! That's why!"
 * "What, you don't have time for me? The guy who earned for you? Put the Armini surplus suit on your back? The 'Coquí o vaque in your Brooklin mouth?"
 * "What are you, blind? It's a cock!"
 * "It's﻿ not a rocket, you sick f%#k! It's a cock!"
 * "Look. It's a cock and balls! A dick! Chorizo and the huevos! It's a big stiffy! Yeah, it's a penis! Penis maximus! A willie! A weenie! Mr. Jiggle Daddy! A wang! The one-eyed wonder weasel! Don't ya see that?! It's Jimmy and the twins. Rumple Foreskin. He made it. He made that thing. It's made from dil-dough!"
 * "I'm Rainbow f--kin' Randolph. I know the way out-- Ahhhhh!!"
 * "You stripped that horn faster then a hooker leaves Salt Lake!"
 * "You're a Krinkle Kid, not a Smooch-bag! Say it!"
 * "Say it before God and all of the bones of the saints! Say it!"
 * "Smmochy is the face of evil."
 * "You're funny! Hey! There's vodka and potato chips back there if you're hungry."
 * "You know I never eaten Korean food, but thank you for that information."
 * "That's why the wee ones loved your show so much, you can learn and laugh at the same time. Such a fresh change from that dreadful embezzler, that Rainbow Randy-- what was his name?"
 * "Randolph. Aye, that's a scroundrel. Probably gay too."
 * "He's a pillow biter, ya know. The old uhm."
 * "Aye, aye, right. Yeah, but don't you take a peticular glee in the fact that you've stolen his time slot and you're shoveling dirt on his miserable corpse as it were?"
 * "Ah, come on! He's a miserable cocksucker! A f#%kin' a$$hole! You hate him! Admit it!"
 * "We'd like to keep it no frills. It's all about the wee ones."
 * "Something inane, I sure."
 * "Hey! 'Auf Wiedersehen."
 * "Hello little nibbler, nibbler. The rhino's a Nazi."
 * "The rhino's screwedo. The rhino is screwed!"
 * "You can start tellin' the guys at props and costumes that the old R-man is back, ready to start whistlin' them happy tunes to the little chil'lins."
 * "Whose toes you have to suck to get a drink around here?"
 * "I'm a f%#kin' patriot compared to Mopes. Mopes is a Nazi! Probably gay too."
 * "I'm just saying it's a vibe. Ya know, a homosexual Nazi vibe. Something emmits from the TV. What's with the Smoochy costume? Big erect horn, what's that all about?"
 * "What do you mean talking fast? I'm not talking fast."
 * "I know why we broke up now: always the insituation and accusations. Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch!!"
 * "Alright you spud-sucking f**ks! I'm suin' your River Dance a$$! I'm gonna send all you back home, eh?!"
 * "I did it! It was me. Thank God we cleared everything without further violence."
 * "In a country full of Nethanderthals, I wear it as a f**king badge of honor."
 * "I've been shot! I'm bleeding! That's salmonella! You're a laywer! That's salmonella!"
 * "I dispised you. I loathed you!"
 * "Bastard son of Barney!"
 * "Die! Die, you soft son of Flop! You illegimate Teletubby! Die, you Muppet from Hell! Die, you foam motherf**ker! Die! Die!"