Trantor

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Halloween: the holiday of fun and fright, of mystery and monsters. People all over, in the name of trick or treating, have fun and be scared. Nothing better encompasses these things than the Halloween classic,Ernest Scared Stupid.

While most horror movies are good, fun movies, they sometimes lack the realism to actually be legitimately frightening. Does this apply to this film? Well, let’s take a look at the plot.

You see, Ernest P. Worrel’s ancestor, Finnius, put away an evil troll many years ago. Luckily, the only way to uncover him is for one of his ancestors to knock on a certain tree in the woods and chant some evil words. What a coincidence it was when Ernest, many years later stumbled upon this tree while the man in his 40’s started building a treehouse with some kids. He awakened Trantor the Troll, who quickly began to transform kids into wooden dolls so he could unleash an army of trolls on the town.

Ernest Scared Stupid, luckily is a movie focused at children and doesn’t have to worry that it is so off the wall and blatantly silly.

As an Ernest movie, one doesn’t really view the film expecting to be blown away by anything. There is no expected good story, no outstanding acting and no real entertainment value other than the predictable slapstick that makes them classics. Trantor the Troll was the closest any of these movies came to something notable other than the toilet smelling "eww," predictable physical comedy and everything to be expected from an Ernest title.

First of all, having to give credit where credit is due, this is a pretty good looking troll, much more scary looking and a lot better job done than would be expected. But it’s not just the look of the two-nosed, snot faced troll that makes Trantor great, but the character itself.

First of all, he lays in bed with an unsuspecting little girl before he captures him. What’s better than when the girl looks under her bed for a doll and turns over to see the mucus faced troll lying next to her.

The car scene.

In a battle that contends with the greatness of any classic epic or action movie, Ernest and Trantor fight on the bed of his pickup truck while the dog drives on. It features an elaborate chase through the inside of the car, a dueling between the troll’s blade and Ernest’s hedge clippers. Some rope throwing and some nunchucks enter the mix as well. At one point there was a valiant effort by Ernest to force away the troll by locking the door, but he simply ripped it off. It was an intense struggle that concluded with the car being sent in reverse and running over Trantor following the classic catch line by Ernest, "How about a bumper sandwich booger lips?!"

Trantor is a unique monster. As scary as he appears with his duel noses and moving ears, he was technically pretty harmless. He never killed any of the kids, simply turned them into wooden dolls that turned back once he was stopped. But how exactly did you stop this tyrant of all trolls?

Milk. The opposition upped its arms when the kids started to notice the obvious clues, and put it together with Ernest’s clue of the "MI_K" in the old book (Silly Ernest thought it was Miak…silly Ernest). They equipped themselves with water guns and mass quantities of milk, while the cocoons of troll armies started to hatch. A battle ensued and it looked like Trantor’s end was near. It was too late though.

In a metamorphosis not seen since Super Shredder from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: Secret of the Ooze, Trantor gained power. And you knew he gained power because extra spikes grew out of his head. The milk wouldn’t work though.

It ended up being a mother’s care and the heart of a child that sent him to his demise, all in the form of a dance and kiss with Ernest.

The terror came to an end. The wooden dolls came back to life and Ernest was a hero. We will not, and can not forget however the frightful troll known as Trantor. He made this movie great, and therefore is worthy of being the first troll featured here.