User blog:NerdWithAKeyboard/Top 5 Worst Movies I Have Ever Seen

The following are, in my opinion, my five least favorite movies that I have seen (as of May 2018). I will not be including movies I refuse to watch (i.e. The Emoji Movie, The Last Airbender, etc). or movies I have not watched to the end (i.e. Where the Dead Go To Die). Please remember that these are my opinions. If you like these movies, I think that's good; I'm glad you can like something I don't. But these movies I hate, so it's time to give them the trashing I think they deserve.

#5: (2015)
For a while, I thought Hollywood's main goal was to punish me for liking anything others hated. I actually kind of enjoyed the and, even though they were campy, dumb, and goofy. I figured this film was my punishment. This movie is beyond boring. And dumb. And complicated. And unpleasant. The biggest problem is that nothing happens. It is 100 minutes of boring, uninteresting characters sitting in boring, uninteresting locations and talking about boring, uninteresting things. I don't even think I need to start on why they made the Human Torch African-American just for political correctness' sake (thank God Michael B. Jordan got a better Marvel role down the line). The only thing I even remember about this movie was the weird design for Doom and how bad it was. Needless to say, this movie was anything but fantastic.

#4: (2007)
Continuing the trend of punishing me for liking what others hated, I liked the first . This movie took what was cool about the first one and took a giant, acid-blooded crap on it. Remove any likeable or memorable characters, make the Xenomorphs and Predators barely encounter each other, and shoot the whole movie in the dark so no one can see what is going on, and you have the perfect ingredients for a terrible sequel that no one asked for. I guess Predaliens are kind of cool, but you barely get to see them. I had the misfortune of seeing the extended, unrated version of this film, and it was just as unpleasant and stupid. It just goes to show what happens when you try too hard to appeal to everyone that you ultimately appeal to no one.

#3: (1987)
God, I hate this movie. I hated it when I first saw it as a kid, and I hate it now. I usually love weird, surreal fantasies like Alice in Wonderland and Wishbringer and stuff like that, but this movie was so weird and made no goddamn sense. I usually enjoy dark movies, especially ones aimed towards kids, as I believe kids need a little bit of dark and scary to help teach them that life can be rough, but there is always something good to it. But this film is WAY too dark for kids, at least in my opinion, with some WAY too scary and disturbing content. Both the heroes and villains in this movie are so insufferably unlikable, and I still to his day have no idea what the kid says at the end (the big name for the Childlike Empress). Throw in just the all-around unpleasant and disturbing look, atmosphere, characters, and mood and I just couldn't wait for The NeverEnding Story to end. At least the song is admittedly catchy.

#2: (2000)
This movie is not only stupid, poorly-made, and idiotic, it is ANNOYING. This movie has some of the most obnoxious characters and worst songs in any movie I've seen, with the crowning pile of crap being the ear-bleedingly awful "Friends For Life". Look, I read The Adventures of Tom Sawyer when I was a kid, and it was fine. This movie takes all the worst parts about the book, then makes the good parts mind-numbingly terrible song sequences. I first saw this movie when I was a kid, and I hated it, but I figured I'd give it some time and watch it a few more times as I got older to see if I could appreciate it more. What happened was the opposite: I hated it more and more every time I watched it. This movie has the irregular talent to put me in a bad mood.

HOWEVER, there is actually something I do really like about this film, aside from the actually kind of nice animation, and that is the song "One Dream". This is the only good part of the movie, as it is a shockingly well-written, well-sung, well-animated, and well-choreographed song number with actual memorable imagery and great vocals. If you can find it on its own, I actually recommend checking it out. However, avoid the rest like the plague.

#1: (2012)
Sigh... on one hand, I don't want to talk about this movie because I hate it so much. On the other hand, I do want to talk about it so I can rip it a new one. I go more into detail about all of this movie's problems here on the Awful Movies Wiki (yes, I wrote the page), but let me give a general summary of why this movie is, in my opinion, the worst. Firstly, it is the pinnacle of the aforementioned trend of Hollywood punishing me for liking what everyone else hated. I liked the first . I probably liked it way more than I was supposed to. Then this movie came out and not only punished me for liking that film, but kicked me in the nuts and spat on me as well. Second, almost everything in this movie is done completely, 100% wrong. The editing is atrocious. The writing is beyond terrible. The decisions they made for this movie are so idiotic. It's like they had a checklist on how to f*ck up a superhero movie: first, make the main character's design ugly as sin. Second, make the serious anti-hero make funny faces and pee fire. Third, make the villains the most stupid, incompetent, and boring antagonists you can. Fourth, make continuity absolutely non-existent with TONS (I remember six off the top of my head) of continuity errors that almost completely disconnect it from the first film. Fifth, never explain anything. Sixth, completely betray the point of the Ghost Rider with a terrible, rushed, and confusing ending where the Rider is restored to the form of an angel and becomes essentially pure good. Finally, release to terrible reception. There actually is one scene where I swear another director and editor must've took over, where Ghost Rider turns a piece of construction equipment into a giant flaming chainsaw; the one cool scene in the movie that isn't plagued with horrendous editing and writing. Other than that, practically nothing is redeemable about this movie. I hate this movie. I hate this movie so much.