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The American Association of Retired Persons! The largest political group in the country! When seniors like me are bein' discriminated against, the AARP comes and sets it right! And you're gonna be sorry when they get here!
~ Marvin Marsh
Marvin Marsh: Uh, I appreciate what the AARP is tryin' to do for us, but uh, all we want is our licenses back.
Bill Stewart: Huh? Heck no! This is goin' too well. We're gonna take the whole country back. Wipe out everyone below the age of 65.
~ Marvin Marsh realizing that the AARP are corrupt

The American Association of Retired Persons, also known as the AARP, is a campaign group of elderly citizens that collectively serve as the main antagonist in the South Park episode "Grey Dawn". The AARP became a corrupting influence among the elderly citizens of South Park, Colorado, turning a riot for getting back old people's licenses back into militarized gaolers in an attempt to take over the whole United States and kill everyone under the age of sixty-five.

They were led by Bill Stewart, who is also the only named member of the group, as Grandpa Marsh was merely an honorary member of the non-profit organization. They are named after the real life organization of the same name.

History

After Marvin Marsh is put in jail for driving after a new law was passed in South Park that revoked old people's right to drive, Randy Marsh came to bail him out. Instead of being thankful, Marvin told him and Stan that he called for the help of the AARP, who will come to set things right when old people are being discriminated against. In this scenario, the old people are mad that they're licenses have been taking away, but they don't realize that they are in fact killing machines behind the wheel. They are guilty of six million dollars in property damage, and have killed hundreds of innocent people, though amazingly, all of this was unintentional.

The AARP's forces drawn on a map by the boys.

Back at school, while Mr. Garrison is teaching his 4th grade class, he notices a bunch of old people descending to the ground on parachutes. Stan recognizes their emblem, being the American Association of Retired Persons, from his encounter with his incarcerated grandpa, and Mr. Garrison goes outside to ask if they need anything. A woman slaps him in the face with excessive force, and the old people raid the school building and go mad with weapons, taking everyone in by force. AARP agents were everywhere, even breaking into Randy's office at work and taking him in as well. They then went to liberate their comrades at the nursing home, enticing all the elderly people into being criminals by riling them and giving them weapons, and president Bill Stewart personally freed Marvin Marsh from jail, by force. By mid-day, they had taken over the majority of South Park, killed a person to show their veracity, threatened to take hostages, and set up barricades, blockades, and watchtowers all over the town, and had all young adults of South Park imprisoned. The AARP took away the rights and healthcare of young adult citizens overnight, and while imprisoned at a detention sight, Randy told the boys that the old people were unstoppable, because they got up earlier than everybody else, but that only they could stop them since they get up as early as they do.

An AARP Warden

After Kenny's reconnaissance on the town, the boys decided to cut off their food supply, with Cartman noting their unreasonable and unhealthy obsession with Country Kitchen Buffet. They simply entered the building and locked the door from the inside, and blocked the windows so they couldn't get in. The next morning at 6 AM, Bill Stewart, leader of the AARP, declared his goal was to take over the whole United States, stating that this was going too well, and that they should just murder everyone below the age of 65. When they tried to enter Country Kitchen Buffet, they were shocked to see that the doors were locked. The members of the AARP then suffered from starvation, and then finally, the authorities came to seize them. The boys were later congratulated for saving South Park and potentially the entire nation, and Kyle, Stan, Kenny, and Cartman became heroes, with Cartman being (ironically) the most valuable player.

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