|This scum Agent Schmuck|
is driving Cruella insane!
IT MUST BE REWRITTEN OR ADDED TO!!
So sayeth the great Lord of Darkness Sauron:
or he will send Darth Vader to terminate you.
|“||Oh really, Mr Algia Critic?||„|
|~ Schmuck's catchphrase|
Parodying Agent Smith from The Matrix, Agent Schmuck is portrayed very much like Lord Cutler Beckett. He is a pompous, arrogant fool who cannot see beyond his own ego. He is accompanied by his faithful clones, who are parodies of Smith's clones, but all Schmuck's do is stand in the dark saying "Hi".
Agent Schmuck has appeared first in The Matrix review, as a CIA-esque agent appearing in the Critic's house to challenge him to see any good in The Matrix movies. The Critic says its just like any other action movie ever made, no differences, and the seeming complex plots can be summed up in two words.
Schmuck begins rambling on about philosophy and Matrix-style arguments as to how he is superior, and the Critic is told by Malcolm (as Phelous) to continue the review. The Critic does so, and he challenges Schmuck to a word-game, and then Schmuck explodes, mimicking Smith's death in the first film.
The Matrix Revolutions
Agent Schmuck returns in the sequel review, where it turns out he is more sinister and more stronger than before. He has rebuilt himself and is infecting the world, turning humanity to obsessive fans of the films, until they only think of the films and nothing else. He also has his army of clones who just stand around playing I Spy. Agent Schmuck is seemingly all-powerful, until the Critic shoots him in the head - revealing he doesn't bleed - revealing his face to be just a mask, revealing him to be the Strangers from Dark City!
The Critic fights Schmuck by saying how the film is so stupid and he uses his new abilities, given to him by Chester A. Bum, to stripping away everything Matrix-related, and weakening Schmuck so he finally explodes when the Critic opens the door revealing light outside.
When the Wachowskis explain their idea for Jupiter Ascending to a Warner Bros. executive, explaining how they took inspiration from the Phantom Menace, the executive points out that their idea is 20 years behind, made mostly of boring dialogue, rips off every sci-fi film known to man and the fact that they want millions of dollars from Warner Bros. after several critical and box office failures. The executive asks how they managed to get Warner Bros. to give them money, to which the Wachowskis snap their fingers, causing him to morph in Schmuck, who offers them 170 million dollars for the film.