| “ | The necessity of concealing the Art is one of the chief anxieties of alchemists. We are sworn to secrecy by heaven and earth and hell, by the four elements, by the height and the depth, by Hermes, by Anubis, and by the howlings of Kerkoros. An oath has been required of us to reveal nothing clearly to any uninitiated being. | „ |
| ~ Emerald Tablet of Thoth |
Alchemists are the overarching protagonists of the roguelike game Noita.
They are an ancient organization dedicated to the arts of alchemy, spellcasting and researching the secrets of the world. Their practices and documented findings are key to much of the game's hidden content and mechanics. The mutated and undead remnants of their membership serve as major antagonists in-game.
Overview[]
The Alchemists' purpose is essentially to use the "Art" of alchemy to uncover the many secrets of the world and use that arcane knowledge to benefit themselves by gaining wealth, power and extended life. They also seem to be a religious organization, as they name multiple gods in their oath of secrecy and claim that their pursuit of knowledge is tribute to the gods. The Alchemists' membership includes both humans(?) and other humanoid beings, exemplified by many of the Masters' clearly inhuman appearances. The majority of their members wear uniform purple cloaks, though the Masters each have their own colored robes.
History[]
Background[]
At an unknown point in time, the Alchemists' order was founded with temples and labs stationed underground beneath the mountain where the game takes place. Several notes written by past Alchemists in the form of books and Emerald Tablets can be found throughout the map, detailing the order's philosophy, guidelines and some findings of individual members. Throughout their studies they've attained knowledge of arcane phenomena such as the Work, but haven't fully completed them.
Noita[]
By the present time of the game, all of the Alchemists seem to have either died off, mutated or become undead and are hostile to the Noita for an unknown reason. It's implied that the mutations are the result of some alchemists achieving an ascended state of sorts, becoming monstrous in exchange for more power. Two noteworthy members, the Grand Master (Mestarien Mestari) and High Alchemist (Ylialkemisti), appear in-game as optional bosses part of larger quests.
Quotes[]
Emerald Tablets[]
| “ | The sacrifice of oneself to the pursuit of knowledge is the highest tribute to the gods. | „ |
| ~ Secretorum Hermetis |
| “ | If all the mountains were of silver and gold, what would they profit a man who lives in constant fear of death? Hence there cannot be in the whole world anything better than our Medicine, which has power to heal all the diseases of the flesh. | „ |
| ~ Tabula Smaragdina |
| “ | Tis true without lying, certain and most true. That which is below is like that which is above and that which is above is like that which is below to do the miracles of one only thing and as all things have been and arose from one by the mediation of one: So all things have their birth from this one thing by adaptation. | „ |
| ~ Emerald Tablet - Volume 1 |
| “ | Thence is born a spirit white as snow, and another spirit red as blood, which two spirits are contained in a third hidden thing. | „ |
| ~ Volume II |
| “ | Heed my warning, or death and decay will follow. | „ |
| ~ Volume III |
| “ | The definition of death is the disjunction of the composite, but there is no disjunction of that which is simple, for it is one. Death consists in the separation of the soul from the body, because anything formed out of two, three, or four components must disintegrate, and this is death. Understand, further, that no complex substance which lacks fire eats, drinks, or sleeps, because in all things which have a spirit fire is that which eats. | „ |
| ~ Volume IV |
| “ | And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once at the number three, being the third number be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.' | „ |
| ~ Volume V |
| “ | Some Alchemists fancy that the work from beginning to end is a mere idle entertainment; but those who make it so will reap what they have sown -- nothing. We know that next to the Divine Blessing, and the discovery of the proper foundation, nothing is so important as unwearied industry and perseverance in this First Operation. It is no wonder, then, that so many students of this Art are reduced to beggary; they are afraid of work, and look upon our Art as mere sport for their leisure moments. For no labour is more tedious than that which the preparatory part of our enterprise demands. | „ |
| ~ Volume VI |
| “ | Among those who devote themselves to the transmutation of metals, however, there can be no such thing as mediocrity of attainment. A person who studies this Art, must have either everything or nothing. An Alchemist who knows only half their craft, reaps nothing but disappointment and waste of time and money; moreover, they lay themselves open to the mockery of those who despise our Art. Those, indeed, who succeed in reaching the goal of the Magistery, have not only infinite riches, but the means of continued life and health. Hence it is the most popular of all pursuits. | „ |
| ~ Volume VII |
| “ | Woe unto all ye fools! How ignorant are ye of this Art, for which ye would die if ye knew it! I swear to you that if kings were familiar with it,
none of us would ever attain this thing. O how this nature changeth body into spirit! O how admirable is Nature, how she presides over all, and overcomes all. |
„ |
| ~ Volume VIII |
| “ | In this way, then, Nature generates by means of this sulphur the different kinds of metals in the veins of the earth, according to the diversity of degrees and alterations. | „ |
| ~ Volume IX |
| “ | Take, he tells us, the stone of gold, combine with humour which is permanent water, set in its vessel, over a gentle fire until liquefaction takes place. Then leave it until the water dries, and the sand and water are combined, one with another; then let the fire be more intense than before, until it again becomes dry, and is made earth. When this is done, understand that here is the beginning of the arcanum; but do this many times, until two-thirds of the water perish, and colours manifest unto you. | „ |
| ~ Volume X |