“ | Well, if you want the answer, and I know that you do, here's Analyst One, and Analyst Two. | „ |
~ Souless introduces the Analysts. |
“ | Well, the chart says... | „ |
~ The Analysts' catchphrases. |
Analyst One and Analyst Two also known as The Chart Guys are the secondary antagonists of the Nostalgia Critic webseries. They are two movie executives with an obsession with chart data who try to create or revitalize films into what is statistically popular instead of using any effort or creativity, often putting them at odds with the titular character. Although starting out as parodies of Thing One & Thing Two from The Cat in the Hat, they have since developed into more stand out characters.
Analyst One is portrayed by Doug Walker's older brother, Rob Walker, and Analyst Two is portrayed by Malcolm Ray of Demo Reel fame.
History[]
The Cat in the Hat[]
They make their first appearance in the Nostalgia Critic's review of the widely panned theatrical film, The Cat in the Hat. They served as the henchmen of Peter Souless, and they were sent by him to explain to the Critic the meaning behind putting adult content in a children's film. They claimed that it made children more mature, whereas the Critic pointed out that just having adult in-jokes in a children's film doesn't make a film more mature; rather, it does just the opposite. Analyst One and Analyst Two later commit suicide after the Critic had shut their computer containing the virtual graphs down.
The Lorax[]
The duo unexpectedly returned in the Critic's review of the 2012 film The Lorax. In this episode, they established an amusement park based around the film, and eventually, people began to flood into it. However, they are soon met by an irritated Critic, and the Critic once again reminded them that they're missing the spirit of the original Dr. Seuss works. The Analysts refused to listen, and they continued to hold onto the fact that they still had several customers for their Lorax amusement park. However, when they looked out of the window, they discover, to their shock and horror, that every customer that they had left the park. The Critic, of course, explained why this happened. He tells the Analysts for the last time that even if they make movies based on Dr. Seuss' works, and even if they're successful for a time, the viewers of the film would always go back to the original books. Analyst 2 then congratulated the Critic for standing up for what he believed in and revealed himself to be Black Willy Wonka. When Analyst One ranted to him that that wasn't on his resume, Black Willy Wonka sends Analyst One away by telling him that there was something he could exploit outside. Black Willy Wonka then whisks the Critic away on his Wonkanator.
Jem and the Holograms[]
The duo return yet again in the review of the critically panned, box office bomb Jem and the Holograms (2015), loosely based on the animated series. In the beginning of the episode, the two direct a Nostalgia Critic movie, which completely misses the point of the show and has more in common with a live action episode of Jem than it does the Critic. When Critic calls cut, the two remind him that he's not allowed to do that since he's not directing. A confused Critic asks why their movie has nothing to do with the show, and the Analysts remind him that they know what they're doing, since they worked on the Jem movie. After reviewing the Jem movie, Critic realizes that they are only trying to make an accurate Jem movie to win back their fans and that they were ruining the show in order to do so. The Critic is then replaced by Tamara, and then Malcolm as the main star of the movie as the other two hope that they have learned nothing from this experience.
The Phantom of the Opera[]
In this episode, Analyst 2 is holding an auction to raise funds for OneStepCamp.org, and auctions off the Phantom DVD to Beth from Shark Jumping and the Critic. Both he and Analyst 1 are directors of the recreated movie scenes, saying that Hyper Fangirl is too popular to replace until Aunt Despair appears and suggests Beth to be her replacement. Later, they sing-talk two songs together about the texts that Analyst 1 received from the Fandumb Ghost and Hyper Fangirl, respectively.
Alvin and the Chipmunks[]
Both of the Analysts appear in this review as the creators of the 2007 movie Alvin and the Chipmunks. When asked how they continue to make money off of bad movies, they unveil their most loyal demographic: the Aww Girls, or women and teens who will watch anything just to say "Awww!" When the Critic threatens to prove that The Chipmunk Adventure is superior to the 2007 film, they rush off to the ruins of franchises to save their "squeakquels". However, as they try to reach the top, they are knocked down the stairs by Tamara and fall on Michael Bay, who explodes. At the end of the episode, they walk off talking to Michael Bay, implying more formulaic, explosion-filled movies to come.
Gallery[]
Nostalgia Critic's review of The Cat in the Hat (2003 film).
Appearance[]
Both of them wear glasses.
Analyst One[]
He appears as a white man who wears a black suit with a white shirt underneath.
Analyst Two[]
He appears as a black man who wears a grey suit with a black shirt underneath.