| “ | I am The Evil Guff! And I will have what I want! | „ |
| ~ Bart Thumper's last words. |
| “ | Citizens of the world. I am the Evil Guff. My needs are small, but your danger is bigger so do as I say. Unless I receive a helicopter pad, my own island, a cook who can make spaghetti bolognaise, a shark tank, a fluffy white cat, an exploding pen and six billion pounds for a submarine. I shall eat a field full of grass and do such a monster butt mutt that I will destroy the ozone layer in one pop. Then all of you will be cooked up for good! You've got one hour till lift off. Goodbye! | „ |
| ~ Bart, attempting to extort the world by threatening to destroy the ozone layer if they refuse to give him what he wants. |
Bart Thumper is the main villain protagonist of the Grizzly Tales for Gruesome Kids episode The Rise and Fall Of The Evil Guff. He is a boy who gets gassy after eating vegetables. His farts from eating said vegetables are so foul that they were able to melt streets and knock people out. After coming to learn this, Bart started to use his farts in order to get what he wants.
He was voiced by Nigel Planer.
Biography[]
Grizzly Tales for Gruesome Kids - The Rise and Fall of the Evil Guff
Bart was a boy who never wanted to eat vegetables. His parents tried to find a way to convince him to eat them, but failed. On Bart's 9th birthday, they used a sweet butterscotch icing to disguise a cauliflower as his birthday cake. That night, after eating his first vegetable, he felt betrayed by his parents, and hoped on getting revenge. But in his thoughts, he had his first fart. He rushed downstairs to tell his parents about his discovery, they dropped from the smell. As his parents bargained with him to give him what he want if he didn't drop another one, he found the means to control his parents.
Mr. and Mrs. Thumper were excited when their son wanted vegetables. But they didn't know that Bart only wanted them as fuel for his "weapon". He'd been experimenting under his sheets while fuelling his stomach with gassy greens until he was ready to change the balance of power.
He tried getting out of school early by releasing a fart so big, the entire school blew up. That night on the news, Police Inspector Smoofer had nicknamed him "The Evil Guff".
Bart's parents took him to an all-night surgery, where the doctor has diagnosed that Bart's stomach is quickly turning vegetables into methane, turning him into a living stink bomb. When they got home, they threw away all their vegetables. When his mother stated "It's like living with a cow," it gave Bart an idea. He ran outside and started eating the grass from the lawn. The next day, he released a fart that blew both his parents halfway to Scotland, where they were run over by a llama truck. With no parents to stop him, Bart was free to spread chaos.
The Parliament decided to act after Bart had brought the country to its knees. The Prime Minister planned to have Bart live with bears, for they wouldn't mind the smell; plus the idea that they'll kill him. Unfortunately, the bears they put him with are much more civilized than they'd hoped. Three minutes later, Bart escaped by propelling himself upwards over the perimeter fence via a high-pleasured fart, and hid out in a caravan in the Chiltern Hills.
The next day, Bart televised to the whole world his demands: a helicopter pad, his own island, a cook who makes spaghetti bolognaise, a shark tank, a fluffy white cat, an exploding pen, and 6 billion pounds for a submarine. He swears that if his demands are not met within the next hour, he would eat an entire field of grass, and release a bottom-burst that will destroy the world's ozone layer all at once. He caused a global panic at first, but nobody thought he could do it, so they didn't reply.
When the hour was up, Bart ate his grass and was about to give off a big one. But the blast was so powerful it shot Bart straight out of Earth's atmosphere. Not only did the fart rip a hole in the ozone layer, but in the space-time continuum behind it. Bart landed in a dung hill in 1261. Bart slowly died from composting in the dung pile for three straight years.
Now he resides in the Hot Hell Darkness, run by the Night-Night Porter.
Trivia[]
- Between his attempts at omnicide and the fact that he apparently had terrorist tendencies even before he discovered his farts' potency, Bart Thumper is most likely the most evil character in the Grizzly Tales franchise.
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 Villains
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