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“ | That's why they call me, "Slick Willy". Pew pew! | „ |
~ Bill Clinton's catchphrase. |
William "Bill" Jefferson Clinton (born William Jefferson Blythe, III) is a minor antagonist Paradise P.D., only appearing in the episode "Blimp City". He is a depiction of the forty-second president of the United States of America, who is portrayed as a scummy, misogynistic adulterer and occasional teen molester, who rules over a secret city in the sky called Blimp City, where men such as himself go to get away from their wives.
He was voiced by Waco O'Guin.
Biography[]
In "Blimp City", Randall Crawford escaped his home in a blimp to escape from his wife and mother-in-law, taking Gerald Fitzgerald with him. Fitz told Randall that he couldn't run from his family like this but Randall disagreed and ended up coming across a city in the sky, composed entirely of parked blimps called Blimp City, where several men were camping out, hiding from their wives. The town was ruled by none other than Bill Clinton, himself, who was lying to Hillary about being in Africa, on a trip to help sick kids. Bill showed the two around the town. The place was generally a giant floating mancave. Clinton said that if they ever needed to use the bathroom, just take a dump wherever they pleased but keep in mind this important rule that when disposing of your defecation, paint it white so that the ground-walkers will think it's bird poop and keep them from finding out about Blimp City. Fitz tried to call his wife to tell her where he was but Clinton, snatched his phone away and told him that the number one rule of Blimp City was to never tell their wives about the place, lest they come up and ruin the sanctuary.
Bill Clinton hung out with Randall in Blimp City and had a good time drinking beer and watching football with him. They even got some lap-dances from a stripper named Bubbles, who had contracted herpes from Bill. Fitz got sick of Blimp City and wanted to go home with his wife but Randall refused to let him leave. He wanted to throw away the keys to the blimp so they could stay there forever. Fitz threatened that if Randall did that, he would call his wife and tell him where they are. Clinton heard this and snatches Fitz's phone away again. This time, he punished Fitz for trying to break the rules by making him walk the plank. Bill was about to drop Fitz over the edge, when he got a call from Hillary, asking to face time. Bill quickly set up a backdrop of Africa and face timed with her, pretending he was in Wakanda, Africa, helping out The Clinton Foundation. He showed her Fitz and told her that he was one of the African kids he was taking care of. After the call ended, Bill decided that because Fitz served use to him, he wouldn't kill him after all. Rather, he would take him to the pile of fecal matter and made it his job to paint it all white as his new punishment. Fitz painted a distress message on some pieces of poop and dropped them down on the Crawford House, which Karen saw. This got her to figure out where Randall was so she called up Hillary Clinton and the wives of every other husband up there.
Karen, Hillary, and several other wives rode Deep State One up to Blimp City and invaded the guys. The guys all ran for their lives but Bill wasn't able to get away so quick. Hillary was really mad at him for lying and cheating on her with strippers. In a panic, Bill humbly apologized and swore that he'd never do anything like this again, because he loves his wife more than anything in the world. Hillary forgave him for this, just like she forgave him for every other horrible thing he did to her as president, and left. Bill Clinton celebrated his success by telling people that this is why they called him "Slick Willy".
In "PARAD-ISIS", Bill Clinton returned as a member of The International Society of Insulted Selebrities, made at the show for making fun of him. Bill Clinton said that he never cheated on his wife on his own blimp. In actuality, he cheated on his wife on Jeffrey Epstein's blimp, indicating that he's a pedophile who partook in Jeffrey Epstein's teenage sex-trafficking ring. Though in his case, it wasn't shown on screen, Bill Clinton was supposedly defeated by Gina Jabowski, as were all of the other members of ISIS.