Changes: Cave Johnson

Revision as of 22:05, 26 February 2020

“	Alright, I've been thinking... When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE!? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I'm the man who's gonna BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN!! With the lemons! I'm going to have my engineers invent a combustible lemon that BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!!!! coughs violently	„
	~ Cave Johnson's infamous rant about lemons.

Cave Johnson is a major character in the 2011 popular video game Portal 2 and (by extension) Portal. Although he only appeared in video diaries, his eccentric and narcissistic personality makes him one of the important characters of the series as his actions lead to GLaDOS being created.

He was voiced by J.K. Simmons, who also played Kai in DreamWorks' Kung Fu Panda 3.

Biography

Portal

Cave does not physically appear in the first Portal game. However, pictures of him can be seen on the walls of Ratman's Dens with his face covered by images of Companion Cubes. His username CJohnson and password can also be seen scrawled over the walls.

Portal 2

More about Cave Johnson and his past is revealed after Wheatley's betrayal. It appears Cave was a natural leader who could easily put people at ease despite the fact more often then not his experiments were highly dangerous. After being exposed to moon dust his body started to shut down. Realizing he was going to die in the near future he put all of his efforts in gaining immortality by uploading his mind into a super computer. As a precaution should he die before the system was ready, he asked that Caroline's mind be uploaded in his place. As he died before the the system was complete Caroline was uploaded into the computer which created the AI know as GLaDOS.

Other Games

LEGO Dimensions

A special stage in LEGO Dimensions reveals that Cave Johnson succeeded in transferring his mind to a computer, by placing his conscience in the body of a core that has been locked in old Aperture Science, he claims: "Being the genius I am, I managed to get myself in to a shiny core body and I've been locked in here ever since". It is unknown how he managed to transfer his mind into the core.

Quotes

“	"Cave Johnson here."	„
	~ Cave Johnson

“	"Greetings, friend. I'm Cave Johnson, CEO of Aperture Science - you might know us as a vital participant in the 1968 Senate Hearings on missing astronauts. And you've most likely used one of the many products we invented. But that other people have somehow managed to steal from us. Black Mesa can eat my bankrupt--"	„
	~ Cave Johnson

“	"I'm Cave Johnson. I own the place."	„
	~ Cave Johnson

“	"Right. Now, you might be asking yourself, 'Cave, just how difficult are these tests? What was in that phone book of a contract I signed? Am I in danger?' Let me answer those questions with a question: Who wants to make $60? Cash."	„
	~ Cave Johnson

“	"They say great science is built on the shoulders of giants. Not here. At Aperture, we do all our science from scratch. No hand holding."	„
	~ Cave Johnson

“	"The lab boys just informed me that I should not have mentioned the control group. They're telling me I oughtta stop making these pre-recorded messages. That gave me an idea: make more pre-recorded messages. I pay the bills here, I can talk about the control group all damn day."	„
	~ Cave Johnson about the control group.

“	"I punch those numbers into my calculator, it makes a happy face."	„
	~ Cave Johnson after crunching some numbers.

“	"Ha! I like your style. You make up your own rules, just like me."	„
	~ Cave Johnson about the test subject.

“	"Bean counters said I couldn't fire a man just for being in a wheelchair. Did it anyway. Ramps are expensive."	„
	~ Cave Johnson

“	"If you're hearing this, it means you're taking a long time on the catwalks between tests. The lab boys say that might be a fear reaction. I'm no psychiatrist, but coming from a bunch of eggheads who wouldn't recognize the thrill of danger if it walked up and snapped their little pink bras, that sounds like 'projection'."	„
	~ Cave Johnson

“	"Science isn't about WHY. It's about WHY NOT. Why is so much of our science dangerous? Why not marry safe science if you love it so much. In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you on the butt on the way out, because you are fired!... Yes, you. Box. Your stuff. Out the front door. Parking lot. Car. Goodbye."	„
	~ Cave Johnson's views on 'safe science'.

“	"Congratulations! The simple fact that you're standing here listening to me means you've made a glorious contribution to science."	„
	~ Cave Johnson congratulating the test subject.

“	"If we can store music on a compact disc, why can't we store a man's intelligence and personality on one? So I have the engineers figuring that out now. Brain Mapping. Artificial Intelligence. We should have been working on it thirty years ago. I will say this - and I'm gonna say it on tape so everybody hears it a hundred times a day: If I die before you people can pour me into a computer, I want Caroline to run this place."	„
	~ Cave Johnson's final wishes.

Gallery

Trivia

Cave Johnson was voiced by J. K. Simmons, who also portrayed J. Jonah Jameson in Spider-Man films.
While Cave Johnson was shown to have somehow transferred himself into a core in LEGO Dimensions, the events that happened in the game are considered non-canon to the Portal series of games.
Since his actions led to GLaDOS being created, that could make him the Bigger Bad of the franchise (though it is possible that he never intended for GLaDOS to turn evil).

External links

Cave Johnson in Unpublished Villains Wiki

Navigation

/

Villains

Aperture Science
Cave Johnson | GLaDOS | Wheatley | Turrets

Xenians
Nihilanth | Tentacles | Headcrabs | Antlions

United States Government
Hazardous Environment Combat Unit | Black Operatives

Race X
Gene Worm | Pit Worm

Employers
G-Man

Others
Jeff | Zombies

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 {{Villain Infobox
 |image = CaveJohnson610.jpg
-|size = 200
 |fullname = Cave Johnson
-|alias = Mister Johnson<br>
+|alias = Mr. Johnson<br>
+C. Johnson
-CJohnson
-|origin = ''Portal'' franchise
+|origin = ''Portal''
 |occupation = Founder and CEO of Aperture Science<br>
-Shower curtain salesman (formerly)|
+Shower curtain salesman <small>(formerly)</small>
-skills = Charisma<br>
+|skills = Charisma<br>
-Millionaire<br>
+Wealth<br>
 Scientific knowledge
 |hobby = Making pre-recorded messages.<br>
 Talking about the control group.
 |goals = Transfer his intelligence into a computer.
-|crimes = Illegal experientation<br>
+|crimes = Illegal experimentation<br>
 Manslaughter
-|type of villain = Extravagant Businessman}}
+|type of villain = Wrathful Businessman
+|size = 200
-{{Quote|Alright, I've been thinking... When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life, take the lemons back! Get mad! I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE!? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give '''Cave Johnson''' lemons! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I'm the man's who gonna BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN!! With the lemons! I'm going to have my engineers to invent a '''combustible lemon''' that BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!!!! *coughs violently*|Cave Johnson infamous rant about lemons.}}
+}}
+{{Quote|Alright, I've been thinking... When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE!? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give '''Cave Johnson''' lemons! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I'm the man who's gonna BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN!! With the lemons! I'm going to have my engineers invent a '''combustible lemon''' that BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!!!! *coughs violently*|Cave Johnson's infamous rant about lemons.}}
-'''Cave Johnson''' is a major character in the popular 2011 video game ''Portal 2'' and (by extension) ''Portal''. Although he only appeared in video diaries, his eccentric and narcissistic personality makes him one of the important characters of the series as his actions lead to GLaDOS being created.
+'''Cave Johnson''' is a major character in the 2011 popular video game ''Portal 2'' and (by extension) ''Portal''. Although he only appeared in video diaries, his eccentric and narcissistic personality makes him one of the important characters of the series as his actions lead to GLaDOS being created.
-He was voiced by J. K. Simmons, who also played [[Kai the Collector|Kai]] in ''Kung Fu Panda 3''.
+He was voiced by {{w|J.K. Simmons}}, who also played [[Kai the Collector|Kai]] in DreamWorks' ''Kung Fu Panda 3''.
 ==Biography==
+===''Portal''===
-It appears he was a natural leader who could easily put people at ease despite the fact more often then not his experiments were highly dangerous. After being exposed to moon dust his body started to shut down. Realizing he was going to die in the near future he put all of his efforts in gaining immortality by uploading his mind into a super computer. As a precaution should he die before the system was ready, he asked that Caroline's mind be uploaded in his place. As he died before the the system was complete Caroline was uploaded into the computer making the AI we know as [[GLaDOS]] today.
+Cave does not physically appear in the first ''Portal'' game. However, pictures of him can be seen on the walls of Ratman's Dens with his face covered by images of Companion Cubes. His username CJohnson and password can also be seen scrawled over the walls.
-==''LEGO Dimensions''==
+===''Portal 2''===
+More about Cave Johnson and his past is revealed after [[Wheatley]]'s betrayal. It appears Cave was a natural leader who could easily put people at ease despite the fact more often then not his experiments were highly dangerous. After being exposed to moon dust his body started to shut down. Realizing he was going to die in the near future he put all of his efforts in gaining immortality by uploading his mind into a super computer. As a precaution should he die before the system was ready, he asked that Caroline's mind be uploaded in his place. As he died before the the system was complete Caroline was uploaded into the computer which created the AI know as [[GLaDOS]].
-A special stage in ''LEGO Dimensions'' reveals that Cave Johnson succeeded in transferring his mind to a computer, by placing his conscience in the body of a core that has been locked in old Aperture Science, he claims: "Being the genius I am, I managed to get myself in to a shiny core body and I've been locked in here ever since". It's unknown how he managed to transfer his mind into the core.
-==Notable Quotes==
+==Other Games==
+===''LEGO Dimensions''===
-*"Cave Johnson here."
+A special stage in ''LEGO Dimensions'' reveals that Cave Johnson succeeded in transferring his mind to a computer, by placing his conscience in the body of a core that has been locked in old Aperture Science, he claims: "Being the genius I am, I managed to get myself in to a shiny core body and I've been locked in here ever since". It is unknown how he managed to transfer his mind into the core.
+==Quotes==
-*"Greetings, friend. I'm Cave Johnson, CEO of Aperture Science - you might know us as a vital participant in the 1968 Senate Hearings on missing astronauts. And you've most likely used one of the many products we invented. But that other people have somehow managed to steal from us. Black Mesa can eat my bankrupt--"
+{{Quote|"Cave Johnson here."|Cave Johnson}}
+{{Quote|"Greetings, friend. I'm Cave Johnson, CEO of Aperture Science - you might know us as a vital participant in the 1968 Senate Hearings on missing astronauts. And you've most likely used one of the many products we invented. But that other people have somehow managed to steal from us. Black Mesa can eat my bankrupt--"|Cave Johnson}}
-*"I'm Cave Johnson. I own the place."
+{{Quote|"I'm Cave Johnson. I own the place."|Cave Johnson}}
-*"Right. Now, you might be asking yourself, 'Cave, just how difficult are these tests? What was in that phone book of a contract I signed? Am I in danger?' Let me answer those questions with a question: Who wants to make $60? Cash."
+{{Quote|"Right. Now, you might be asking yourself, 'Cave, just how difficult are these tests? What was in that phone book of a contract I signed? Am I in danger?' Let me answer those questions with a question: Who wants to make $60? Cash."|Cave Johnson}}
+{{Quote|"They say great science is built on the shoulders of giants. Not here. At Aperture, we do all our science from scratch. No hand holding."|Cave Johnson}}
+{{Quote|"The lab boys just informed me that I should not have mentioned the control group. They're telling me I oughtta stop making these pre-recorded messages. That gave me an idea: make more pre-recorded messages. I pay the bills here, I can talk about the control group all damn day."|Cave Johnson about the control group.}}
-*"They say great science is built on the shoulders of giants. Not here. At Aperture, we do all our science from scratch. No hand holding."
+{{Quote|"I punch those numbers into my calculator, it makes a happy face."|Cave Johnson after crunching some numbers.}}
+{{Quote|"Ha! I like your style. You make up your own rules, just like me."|Cave Johnson about the test subject.}}
-*"The lab boys just informed me that I should not have mentioned the control group. They're telling me I oughtta stop making these pre-recorded messages. That gave me an idea: make more pre-recorded messages. I pay the bills here, I can talk about the control group all damn day."
+{{Quote|"Bean counters said I couldn't fire a man just for being in a wheelchair. Did it anyway. Ramps are expensive."|Cave Johnson}}
+{{Quote|"If you're hearing this, it means you're taking a long time on the catwalks between tests. The lab boys say that might be a fear reaction. I'm no psychiatrist, but coming from a bunch of eggheads who wouldn't recognize the thrill of danger if it walked up and snapped their little pink bras, that sounds like 'projection'."|Cave Johnson}}
-*"I punch those numbers into my calculator, it makes a happy face."
+{{Quote|"Science isn't about WHY. It's about WHY NOT. Why is so much of our science dangerous? Why not marry safe science if you love it so much. In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you on the butt on the way out, because you are fired!... Yes, you. Box. Your stuff. Out the front door. Parking lot. Car. Goodbye."|Cave Johnson's views on 'safe science'.}}
+{{Quote|"Congratulations! The simple fact that you're standing here listening to me means you've made a glorious contribution to science."|Cave Johnson congratulating the test subject.}}
-*"Ha! I like your style. You make up your own rules, just like me."
+{{Quote|"If we can store music on a compact disc, why can't we store a man's intelligence and personality on one? So I have the engineers figuring that out now. Brain Mapping. Artificial Intelligence. We should have been working on it thirty years ago. I will say this - and I'm gonna say it on tape so everybody hears it a hundred times a day: If I die before you people can pour me into a computer, I want Caroline to run this place."|Cave Johnson's final wishes.}}
-*"Bean counters said I couldn't fire a man just for being in a wheelchair. Did it anyway. Ramps are expensive."
-*"If you're hearing this, it means you're taking a long time on the catwalks between tests. The lab boys say that might be a fear reaction. I'm no psychiatrist, but coming from a bunch of eggheads who wouldn't recognize the thrill of danger if it walked up and snapped their little pink bras, that sounds like 'projection'."
-*"Science isn't about WHY. It's about WHY NOT. Why is so much of our science dangerous? Why not marry safe science if you love it so much. In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you on the butt on the way out, because you are fired!... Yes, you. Box. Your stuff. Out the front door. Parking lot. Car. Goodbye.""
-*"Congratulations! The simple fact that you're standing here listening to me means you've made a glorious contribution to science."
-*"If we can store music on a compact disc, why can't we store a man's intelligence and personality on one? So I have the engineers figuring that out now. Brain Mapping. Artificial Intelligence. We should have been working on it thirty years ago. I will say this - and I'm gonna say it on tape so everybody hears it a hundred times a day: If I die before you people can pour me into a computer, I want Caroline to run this place."
 ==Gallery==
@@ Line 63: / Line 57: @@
 ==Trivia==
-*Although he doesn't physically appear in the first ''Portal'' game, his pictures can be seen on the walls with his face covered by companion cubes. His username CJohnson and password can be seen scrawled over the walls.
 *Cave Johnson was voiced by J. K. Simmons, who also portrayed J. Jonah Jameson in ''Spider-Man'' films.
 *While Cave Johnson was shown to have somehow transferred himself into a core in ''LEGO Dimensions'', the events that happened in the game are considered non-canon to the ''Portal'' series of games.
-*Since his actions led to GLaDOS being created, that makes him the Predecessor Villain of the franchise.
+*Since his actions led to GLaDOS being created, that could make him the Bigger Bad of the franchise (though it is possible that he never intended for GLaDOS to turn evil).
+==External links==
+*[https://unpublished-villains.fandom.com/wiki/Cave_Johnson Cave Johnson in Unpublished Villains Wiki]
+==Navigation==
+{{Half-Life/Portal Villains}}
 [[Category:Extravagant]]
 [[Category:Businessmen]]
@@ Line 76: / Line 75: @@
 [[Category:Mentally Ill]]
 [[Category:Related to Hero]]
+[[Category:Wrathful]]
 [[Category:Posthumous]]
 [[Category:Obsessed]]
 [[Category:Greedy]]
-[[Category:Master Manipulator]]
 [[Category:Affably Evil]]
 [[Category:Immortality Seeker]]
@@ Line 86: / Line 85: @@
 [[Category:Doctors and Scientists]]
 [[Category:The Heavy]]
-[[Category:Evil from the past]]
+[[Category:Evil from the Past]]
 [[Category:Scapegoat]]
 [[Category:Tragic]]
@@ Line 93: / Line 92: @@
 [[Category:Deceased]]
 [[Category:Crossover Villains]]
-[[Category:Status dependent on Version]]
+[[Category:Status Dependent on Version]]
-[[Category:Type dependent on Version]]
+[[Category:Type Dependent on Version]]
 [[Category:Artificial Intelligence]]
+[[Category:Non-Action]]
+[[Category:Con Artists]]
+[[Category:Chaotic Neutral]]
+[[Category:On & Off]]