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“ | Wildcard, bitches! Yeeee-ha! | „ |
~ Charlie Kelly - his most famous quote. |
“ | Get a job? Just get a job? Why don't I strap on my job helmet, and squeeze down into a job cannon, AND FIRE OFF INTO JOBLAND WHERE JOBS GROW ON JOBBIES!? | „ |
~ Charlie Kelly's psychotic breakdown after the Gang fires him. |
“ | Ruby: No, but I... I wasn't using you like Trevor was. He's a total assh*le. I really, really, really like you. Charlie: Oh. Yeah, I know. Okay? I was using you. That's why I kissed you in front of the waitress. That's why I banged you a bunch of times, just to make the waitress jealous. Amazing, you slept with me almost instantly, and by the way, a quality woman doesn't do that. She doesn't say yes right away. She says no to a man, for years, like, ten years. That's what a real woman does, okay? You know what you were acting like? A stupid little rich sl*t. And that's all that you are. Ruby: (sobbing) How can you do this to me? Charlie: Are you still talking? Go away, dumb-dumb. Go run and hide. Go from me. I don't want to see you anymore. Ruby: (sobs and runs away) Charlie: (laughs) Women, right? Ah, man, all right, cool. I'm out! All right!
|
„ |
~ Charlie explaining how he manipulated Ruby |
Charles "Charlie" Rutherford Kelly is one of the main protagonists of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. Though he is generally less villainous and nicer than any other member of "The Gang", he has also done some villainous actions. Though he and Dee are not exactly good friends, he does not bully her like the other members do. He is also the archenemy of Liam and Ryan McPoyle.
He is portrayed by Charlie Day, who also played Newton Geiszler in Pacific Rim: Uprising.
Personality[]
“ | Charlie: Well, I'm a bad guy then! Dennis: You are a bad guy! You lied to us! |
„ |
~ Charlie and Dennis. |
Arguably the most unhappy member of the gang, Charlie is a volatile, tempestuous, and temperamental individual who is prone to Al Pacino-styled outbursts.
Like the others, Charlie possesses several self-important, narcissistic, egotistical, and manipulative characteristics. He never admits ignorance on any subject, despite being ignorant of just about everything, and often acts like he knows better than others. He tends to try and demonstrate his knowledge by throwing out terms associated with the subject in question, or simply mirroring what other people are saying, without any real understanding, making himself look like an unintelligent idiot. When called out on his painfully obvious illiteracy and general lack of intelligence, he gets incredibly psychopathic, defensive, and angry. He also has a problem with authority, and often ignores the gang's attempts to control his dysfunctional and unpredictable behavior. Also, whenever the Gang begin a new scheme, he often expects to be placed in a position of authority, such as being Dennis' campaign manager in "The Gang runs for Office" or being captain of the boat in "The Gang buys a Boat", despite being woefully unsuited for them. When denied something he wants, he will usually attempt to get it anyway through deceit and manipulation, never taking responsibility for the havoc he always causes as a results.
Charlie's delusions of superiority and emotional volatility seem to cover up a deep-seated sense of shame and low self-esteem. His fits of rage often spring up when he senses he is being attacked, wronged or not listened to. The disproportionate amount of anger and the lengths Charlie goes to to get revenge on slights real and imagined suggest that on a subconscious level, he is miserably aware and ashamed of his failings, and hates to be reminded of it.
Villainous Actions[]
“ | Oh, well, excuse me for being the most terrible man on the planet! "Oh, I'm a terrible man!". | „ |
~ Charlie to Dennis |
- After realizing his mom was a prostitute for numerous men who happened to dress up like Santa Claus, Charlie has a mental breakdown when he sees a mall Santa, ending with Charlie biting Santa's neck, causing blood to spray everywhere, to which he then drags him to the ground and mercilessly beats him in front of hundreds of crying children before Ronald Mac McDonald finally drags him away.
- Went out on his own, and proceeded to kidnap and torture a critic for writing a negative article about his bar.
- Charlie will sometimes scheme to deceive the entire Gang in order to achieve his goals, especially in pursuit of the Waitress.
- Charlie pretended he was dying of cancer in a failed attempt to get the Waitress to sleep with him. he tried to justify this action to Dennis by saying "If you want to make an omelet, you gotta break a few eggs".
- Charlie manipulates Dennis into sleeping with both Charlie and Mac's mothers in an attempt to get the Waitress to sleep with him out of revenge.
- Charlie pretended to be in love with another woman called Ruby Taft in order to make the Waitress jealous and when he revealed this to Ruby he said she wasn't a real woman and instead a "stupid little rich slut." for instantly sleeping with him instead of denying him for years, making Ruby run off in tears.
- Charlie attempted to trick a woman he was online friends with in a game into having lunch with him, only to give her a box of spiders simply to beat her in a game he had become obsessed with.
- In that same episode, he attempted to blackmail the Gang into giving him their shares of Paddy's for "eternity".
- He, alongside Mac and Frank, manipulated Dee into believing she was a famous celebrity by paying people to praise her and taking extreme joy out of her breakdown after they revealed the scheme to her.
- He alongside Dennis went on a manhunt for a random patron in a gin bar simply because the man shushed the gang at the bar for talking too loudly. Charlie even went as far as to falsely claim that the man had attempted to rape them.
- Tried to throw the Waitress out of the same window Frank fell out of in "Frank falls out the window" in an attempt to give her amnesia just like Frank so that he could have a chance at being with her after she refused to live with him.
- In Season 15, it was revealed that he and Dee helped provide the costumes that Jake Angeli and the protesters wore during the attack on the Capitol in 2021.
- In an attempt to get a Jewish man off their property, he, Mac and Dennis do the following:
- They threw toilet paper all over the building he was buying. The idea was that it would hopefully rain, making the toilet paper hard to clean off.
- They filmed a "jihad tape": Mac and Dennis dressed up as Islamic terrorists and threatened the man (as well as speaking mock Arabic). After being told to destroy the tape as it was too dark, Charlie secretly kept it, landing them in trouble with the cops later on.
- Last of all, they threw a flaming bag of Charlie's feces into the building. The fire accidentally ignited an unknown gas leak, that caught fire and destroyed the building.
- He and Mac savagely beat up local neighbourhood kids because they stole their bikes. It was later confirmed that Charlie had killed one of the kids.
- Charlie tried to cheat visitors out of the World Series tickets (they had tickets to the game but Frank left them at the apartment. Mac, Frank and Dee tried to get them despite the fact that the building was being bug-bombed) by shoving Dennis in front of their cars. This backfired when the drivers saw them.
- He and Mac lied to a parole board in order to keep Mac's dad in jail. This backfired when Luther revealed their confession was false, thus granting him parole. This later resulted in the two of them crashing Dee's car in order to fake their deaths.
- When he and the Gang tried to reactivate the old Risk E. Rats mascots, a fire broke out, injuring several people. In order to avoid questioning, they slipped away.
- In animated sequence in an episode depicting what the Gang would do when held up by a robber, Charlie imagines the Waitress coming into the store. Just before the robber can shoot her, Charlie throws Dee into the path of the bullets, resulting in Dee's death.
- When Frank got a tapeworm named Jerry, Charlie got jealous and fell under the assumption that Frank was going to leave him for Jerry. In order to prevent this, he stuffed the chocolates Dee give him for Valentine's Day full off "bye-bye Jerry pills" and tricked Frank into eating them.
- Charlie and the Gang have given alcohol to minors which resulted in them getting into a mess with their patrons love lives. Additionally, this is not the first Charlie had given a minor alcohol: in the previous episode, it was Charlie's own irresponsibility that got Stacy Corvetti's son drunk.
- During a particularly violent game of CharDee MacDennis, Charlie and Mac hurled insults at Dee for two hours, and after they were done, she reportedly attempted to kill herself.
- He, along with Frank and Mac, attempted to create real news by putting kittens in a building and down a well, having Dee go in and rescue them, and igniting the kerosene inside, accidentally setting her on fire.
- Charlie is responsible for why Sweet Dee acts the way she does: in 1998, she asks him to tighten the bolts on her roller skates, so as to be fair to her friends by making her skates as slow as theirs. Charlie secretly loosened the bolts, saying it didn't fell right, as they were friends. Sweet Dee would later lose control and crash headfirst into a wall. When Charlie, Mac and Dennis asked her if she was okay, she loudly cursed at them and then repeatedly insulted them.
- After hearing the Waitress was getting married, Charlie visited the groom, Brad Fisher, and gave him a box that, unbeknownst to Brad, was filled with hornets.
- After he and Dee started stealing exotic meat from Frank, Frank tricked them into believing the latest piece they had eaten was human meat. To see if he was right, Charlie and Dee try to eat dead bodies and a homeless kid, before chasing after Frank to eat him.
- Refused to save Frank after he started choking.
Quotes[]
“ | That right there is the mail. Now let's talk about the mail. Can we talk about the mail, please, Mac? I've been dying to talk about the mail with you all day, OK? "Pepe Silvia", this name keeps coming up over and over again. Every day Pepe's mail is getting sent back to me. Pepe Silvia! Pepe Silvia! I look in the mail, and this whole box is Pepe Silvia! So I say to myself, "I gotta find this guy! I gotta go up to his office and put his mail in the guy's goddamn hands! Otherwise, he's never going to get it and he's going to keep coming back down here." So I go up to Pepe's office and what do I find out, Mac? What do I find out?! There is no Pepe Silvia. The man does not exist, okay? So I decide, "Oh, shit buddy, I gotta dig a little deeper. There's no Pepe Silvia? You gotta be kidding me! I got boxes full of Pepe!" All right, so I start marching my way down to Carol in HR and I knock on her door and I say "Carol! Carol! I gotta talk to you about Pepe!" And when I open the door, what do I find? There's not a single goddamn desk in that office. There... is... no... Carol in HR. Mac, half the employees in this building have been made up. This office is a goddamn ghost town. | „ |
~ Charlie's "Pepe Silvia" conspiracy theory. |
“ | Don't screw you? Oh, I'm sorry, Dee, let me try and remember something. Let's see, was it, did Dee write a musical and come to Charlie with it? No! Charlie wrote a musical and came to Dee with it, and the Gang. And the Gang likes to screw it up and make it about themselves, and take it away from Charlie, and ruin his hopes and dreams! So let me tell you something, Dee, let me break down a scenario for you. I could cut the song, okay, because I wrote it. I could have Artemis do the song, okay, because you did not write it. Or I could strap on a wig and I could do the song myself! So you tell me, Little Miss All That, what do you want to do? Song or no song?! | „ |
~ Charlie yelling at Dee during a rehearsal of his play, The Nightman Cometh. |
“ | Oh. Yeah, I know. Okay? I was using you. That's why I kissed you in front of the Waitress. That's why I banged you a bunch of times. Just to make the Waitress jealous. Amazing. You slept with me almost instantly. And by the way, a quality woman doesn't do that. She doesn't say "yes" right away. She says "no" to a man, for years, like, ten years. That's what a real woman does, okay? You know what you were acting like? A stupid little rich slut. And that's all that you are. | „ |
~ Charlie breaks Ruby Taft's heart. |
“ | You want mink, Dee? You want a mink coat? You want a nice, real mink coat, you know, not a virtual one like Frank? [...] I am dead serious. I trade with a guy online, he has a clothing store. I'm sure I could give him some crops, maybe a follower or two, and he'll give you a mink coat. Would you like that? You would like that, wouldn't you? You know how that's not going to happen? It's not gonna happen if I'm not playing the goddamn game! Because when I'm not playing the game, people are attacking our tribe, okay? And that's a lot of pressure, that's a lot of stress. And we could lose everything, we could lose everything that we have worked for, everything! | „ |
~ Charlie to Dee |
“ | Well, while we've been sitting here, my followers have burned your land, they've raped your people, and they've destroyed your tribe. You thought you could make a move on me, Queen of Thrones? Well, you were wrong. [...] Oh, right. Oh, let's have lunch 'cause we're hungry and we want to eat food. Bullshit! You think I'd give up all this for lunch?! You stupid, fat pig. | „ |
~ Charlie to the Queen of Thrones |
“ | Well dude, it's not that they like us, it's that they don't like you. You know why? Uhh... because you're an asshole! | „ |
~ Charlie to Mac, after their bar became a gay bar. |
“ | That's Tammy, Trey's ex girlfriend. This is classic Tammy. Trey broke up with Tammy because Marine Cannalan said that she saw Tammy flirting with Walt Timmy at a party, but she was only doing it to make Trey jealous because she thought Trey secretly liked Erin Hennebrary. But Trey didn't like Erin Hennebrary, it was all a bunch of bull. | „ |
~ Charlie after the Gang got mixed up with the lives of their underaged patrons. |
“ | Look, the girl, she wears a Lance Armstrong bracelet, okay? So I tell you I have cancer, right? Then you're gonna tell her, she's going to feel sorry for me, we're going to start dating, and that's the way that life works! | „ |
~ Charlie to Dennis, after revealing he faked cancer. |
“ | Viet-goddamn-nam's what happened! Go get me a beer, bitch! | „ |
~ Charlie yelling at at prostitute |
“ | THIS ISN'T OVER UNTIL I SAY IT'S OVER! | „ |
~ Charlie to Dee. |
“ | Here's a confession: I'm in love with a man. What? I'm in love with a man... a man named God. Does that make me gay? Am I gay for God? You betcha. | „ |
~ Charlie's beliefs. |
“ | Hello fellow American. This you should vote me. I leave power. Good. Thank you. Thank you. If you vote me, I'm hot. Taxes, they'll be lower. Son. The Democratic vote for me is right thing to do Philadelphia, so do. | „ |
~ The campaign speech that Charlie wrote for Dennis, demonstrating his illiteracy |
“ | I'm gonna rise up, I'm gonna kick a little ass, I'm gonna to kick some ass in the U.S.A., gonna climb a mountain, gonna sew a flag, gonna fly on an eagle. I'm gonna kick some butt, I'm gonna drive a big truck, I'm gonna rule this world, I'm gonna kick some ass, I'm gonna rise up, I'm gonna kick a little ass, ROCK, FLAG, and EAGLLLLLLLE!! | „ |
~ Charlie's patriotism. |
“ | You know why? Because we give up. We live in GiveUp America. I live in GiveUp America. I live in an America where... hey Ryan. I'm sorry to interrupt you, but if you're not too busy showering in your brother's urine or plotting your revenge against me, would you mind lighting my cigarette? Thanks bro. Hey Liam, I'm sorry I sent you to jail man, but anytime you want to stab me, it'd be really great for me because- | „ |
~ Charlie imagines what America would be like if everyone just gave up. |
“ | Taked baby. Meet at later bar, night or day sometime. | „ |
~ Charlie's illiteracy |
“ | Man this is crazy. You are dancing with the entire McPoyle Family. These people are freak shows, man...freaks. But you're keeping your cool. You're keeping your cool. You know why? Because you are the Green Man. Green Man is saving your life right now, bro. Just go with the flow. | „ |
~ Charlie dressed as Greenman. |
“ | Don't worry about it, you can come and live with me, all right? | „ |
~ Charlie to the Waitress |
“ | Okay, okay, quick conference, guys. Everyone, keep their eyes peeled for drifting. All right, people here they love... look at this guy, he's definitely a drifter, all right? He's going to his car and he's going to slide it sideways, ya know what I mean? | „ |
~ Charlie in Chinatown |
“ | Yeah! And then there's the guy that shoots lightning bolts out of his hands. He wears a big straw hat and he does that move. His eyes go all white and shit and Kurt Russell fights him. | „ |
~ Charlie getting Chinatown confused with Big Trouble in Little China. |
“ | ♪Nightman, sneaky and mean Spider inside my dreams, I think I love you You make me wanna cry You make me wanna die I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, Nightman Every night you come into my room And pin me down With your strong arms You pin me down And I try to fight you You come inside me You fill me up and I become the Nightman It's just two men sharing the night. It might seem wrong, but it's just right. It's just two men sharing each other. It's just two men like lovin' brothers. One on top, and one on bottom. One inside, and the other is out. One is screaming he's so happy and the other's yelling a passionate shout. It's the Night Man. The feeling so wrong and right man, the feeling so wrong and right man. I can't fight you man when you come inside me and pin me down with your strong hands and I become the Night... the passionate, passionate Night Man♪ |
„ |
~ The questionable lyrics for Charlie's song "Nightman". |
“ | Look, Mac, I'm tired, I want to go home, I just want to wash my hands of this whole stinkin' mess, so I'm gonna ask you just one time: did you, or did you not, snap into a distinct and alternate personality, and go on a serial killing rampage? | „ |
~ Charlie asks Mac if he is becoming a serial killer. |
“ | Why am I on the list? That's bullshit! You don't put a man on a list! Rip it off! Rip it off! You think he memorized it? Of course, he memorized it! What is this about?! Why am I on the list? It's the heroin thing! Remember how he asked us to put heroin in our butts and smuggle it into prison, and we didn't do it? Oh, so now he's all hot and bothered just because we don't give him heroin and we don't put it in our butts, man? YOU DON'T DO THAT! YOU DON'T EAT SOMEONE 'CAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE HEROIN IN THEIR ASS! | „ |
~ Charlie and Mac realizing that Mac's dad is going to kill them. |
“ | Sooo I thought we could celebrate, with some pizza! And some beer! Ohhh, that's right! I ate all the pizza, and I drank all the beer. | „ |
~ A drunken Charlie |
“ | Stop, stop, stop. All right not bad, good rhythm, love the enthusiasm. I feel like you're saying "boy's hole", and it's clearly "soul". And I know, Artemis, you did write "soul", right? | „ |
~ Charlie criticizing Frank's singing. |
“ | ♪I was that little boy, that little baby boy was me! I once was a boy, but now I'm a man! I fought the Nightman, lived as Dayman Now I'm here to ask for your hand So if you are too merry m'am will you marry me? Will you come on stage and join me in this thing called matrimony? Please say yes and do not bone me Please just marry me!♪ |
„ |
~ Charlie's marriage proposal to the Waitress |
“ | Keep singing, bitch! You're not gonna have a face by the time I'm through with you! | „ |
~ Charlie's anger as Dee goes out of line during the performance of The Nightman Cometh. |
“ | You can keep a gull as a pet, but you don't want to live with a seabird, okay, 'cause the noise level alone on those things...have you ever heard a gull up close? It's going to blast your eardrums out, dude. | „ |
~ Charlie |
“ | But if I'm being honest my problem is less with the fact he is drinking and more that he is doing it without me. And then I start thinking, what's wrong with me? Am I not fun to drink with? | „ |
~ Charlie, to Dee. |
“ | I'm a full-on-rapist. | „ |
~ Charlie failing to pronounce the word "philanthropist". |
“ | Hey! Hey! Whoo! Whoo-hoo! Philly Phanatic! Philly Phrenetic! Huge fan, man! Seriously. Big time. Are you serious? Do you mean that? Ha-ha! Bring it in, man. Bring it in. Ah, yeah! All right. Now, seriously. Man to man, mascot to mascot, I was wondering maybe if you could help get me in the game, you know, maybe hook me up with a Green Man routine. We do it at the stadium together. So all right, now- I'm trying to talk to you, dude. I'm trying to have a conversation with you, you're belly bumping me. I'll give you all right, don't big league me now here, man. Don't big league Look, I'm trying to have a conversation with the man behind the mask! I feel like you're big leaguing me, dude! Are you taking me seriously? | „ |
~ Charlie to the Philly Phrenetic |
“ | Hello, Charlie Kelly here, local business owner and cat enthusiast. Is your cat making too much noise all the time?! Is your cat constantly stomping around, driving you crazy?! Is your cat clawing at your furnitures? Think there's no answer? You're so stupid! There is: Kitten Mittens. Finally, there's an elegant, comfortable mitten for cats... I couldn't hear anything! Is your cat one-legged? Is your cat fat, skinny, or an in-between? That doesn't matter, cause one-size-fits-all! Kitten Mittens: "You'll be smitten!" So, come on down to Paddy's Pub. We're the hoooooooommee of the original Kitten Mittens. Meeeeeeeeeeowwwww! | „ |
~ Charlie's commercial for "Kitten Mittens". |
“ | I was going to protect you from the stabbing! | „ |
~ Charlie unsuccessfully trying to use the D.E.N.N.I.S. System. |
“ | Did you fuck my mom? Did you fuck my mom? Did you fuck my mom, Santa Claus? Did you fuck my mom? Did you fuck her? DID YOU FUCK MY FUCKING MOM?? DID YOU FUCK MY MOM, SANTA?! | „ |
~ Charlie to a mall Santa. |
“ | Yo dude. Definitely give me another one of those. They're delicious. And you can taste that sort of endangered tang... | „ |
~ Charlie eating a catfish. |
“ | Well, when I showed up this morning I didn't have a formal resume on me so I was sort of hoping the photograph of Mr. Jenner could represent the standard of excellence I'm hoping to bring to this position. | „ |
~ Charlie trying to get a job at a school. |
“ | Oh my god, I just found a rat's nest. Slaughtered about 200 of them. It's like whole generations of those things have died at my hands. Mothers, fathers, grandfathers, little baby rats. | „ |
~ The toll of Charlie's work |
“ | If animals have taught me anything, it's that you can easily die and very quickly under a bus and on the side of the road. | „ |
~ Charlie's views on animals |
“ | I know that, but why?! That's not magical! That's not romantic! | „ |
~ Charlie, to Dennis and Dee after seeing something horrific at the Jersey Shore |
“ | Oh, cool, cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we got a sweet bunker, too. Yeah, well... It's, like, so secure, people can't get in or out if we don't want 'em to. We'll be, like, totally safe down there. I got a bunch of supplies. You guys like pickled eggs? Sardines, too... | „ |
~ Charlie at the All American Home Center. |
“ | Denis is ashole. Y Charlee hat? | „ |
~ Charlie's illiteracy |
“ | You know, what happened was that he only raped my friend here. I actually shook him off in time, the guy never quite made it inside of me, but my friend here... yeah. | „ |
~ Charlie describing what the man who shushed them did. |
“ | Okay, I cannot see the driver's face, but the subject appears to have pointed feet of some kind. Okay, I'm repeating here. He has pointed feet, so careful now. | „ |
~ Charlie, serving as the "guy in the van" as Dee, Frank and Dennis attempt to rob a house. |
“ | I don't want to hear it. Frank I'm a successful man now. Okay? I need to maintain a certain level of excellence, so I can't have you like telling me terrible idea all night because that brings me off me excellence. Okay? | „ |
~ Charlie, to Frank, in a flashback as Mac is confessing to a priest about he is obesity was everyone's fault |
“ | Yeah, we passed it back and forth. Although, then we did try out for the wrestling team, and then I do think a couple of the guys got it on the team. So yeah, you're right. You're right. | „ |
~ Charlie talking about a ringworm incident that happened at their school. |
“ | Ladies and gentlemen, distinguished collies, my client Frank here isn't really on trial today, you know. Common sense is on trial... and well, common sense would tell you that eatin' a bowl of cereal while operating a car is- well, it's reckless. It's moronic. One might even call it... donkey-brained. | „ |
~ Charlie defending Frank during the "Reynolds vs. Reynolds" case. |
“ | Which is a great advantage because the guy can't see how scared Mac is. | „ |
~ Charlie and Mac discussing benefits of wearing protective eyewear. |
“ | ♪Whoa, they say "The world's your oyster" ma'am But oysters ain't for me You're the belle of the ball But you ain't my cup of tea They always vote you best in show, but this doggie disagrees 'Cause I like life In Paddy's Pub There's a place for me It's the place I go Where the beer is cheap, and the lights are low It's Paddy's Pub I like Paddy's Pub Let the record show The greatest place to go Is that bar called Paddy's Pub I like life at Paddy's Pub♪ |
„ |
~ Charlie's "Best Song". |
“ | ♪There is a spider, spider spider He's deep in my soul, soul He's lived here for years years He just won't let go He's laying around He's got a mean bite Now he's ready to fight And stand up for what he knows I don't need your trophies or your gold I just want to tell you all Go f**k yourselves Go fuck yourselves Ooh, wah-ooh♪ |
„ |
~ Charlie's spider song. |
“ | Okay, okay, with all due respect to you, I think I understand it fully, okay? You guys used Frank's credit card, you bought a bunch of airline miles. You used those airline miles to purchase 400 steaks. Knowing that this delivery company delivered all variety of animal products, your plan was to contaminate the steaks with chicken feathers by rubbing live chickens all over them. Then you were gonna repackage the steaks, at which point, you were gonna return the contaminated steaks for actual cash, taking advantage of a loophole in the current airline miles system, correct? | „ |
~ Charlie figuring out the Gang's airline miles scam. |
“ | Okay! Well, I would like to get a chicken sandwich, but uh... I think I want to get the beak on the side? Frank's always making me eat it first, and... frankly, I'd rather eat it last, if I'm gonna have to eat it at all. | „ |
~ Charlie ordering lunch. |
“ | No! I don't eat dragon 'cause, uh, it's-it's not a meal for peasants, it's a meal for kings, and I'm sort of a common man. But they don't eat us; they, uh, it's like a misconception. They actually eat gold and treasure. That's why they're always sitting on a big pile of it. | „ |
~ Charlie justifies his answer "dragon" on a quiz show. |
“ | Spider crawled up in there. He's living there now. He sends his thoughts to me. | „ |
~ Charlie, to Mac. |
“ | I know, and I kinda forgot where we landed on that. I got these great cookie sheets, they're filled with glue, so... but I hear you. I hear you. It's a frustrating thing, it's like the guy doesn't listen to us, man, where we're trying to get through to him. It's a bummer. | „ |
~ Charlie sets up traps in order to catch himself a leprechaun. |
“ | Oh, I figured it out. We're dead, we died... and I don't know when it happened. It might've- it might've happened on the cruise ship, it might've happened on the drive to the cruise ship - you were going awful fast, Dennis. I don't know, maybe it happened weeks ago at the bar, some sort of... colossal and awesome event, I would imagine, but we're dead! And we're in hell, we're just being toyed with, here! Or- or maybe we're not in hell yet, maybe this is purgatory, and we're on our way to be judged. And soon, oh boy... ha ha, yeah, soon we'll really be in hell, won't that be something... | „ |
~ Charlie during the events of The Gang Goes To Hell, Part 2 |
“ | Well... 'cause there is no one better. And I love you. | „ |
~ Charlie confessing to the Waitress that he is in love with her. |
“ | Charlie: Just get out of here, man! Go, go, go! We did a bad thing, dude! I think I killed a kid! Mac: He did, I saw him. I think the kid's dead. |
„ |
~ Mac and Charlie beating up local neighbourhood after they stole their bikes. |
“ | What do you mea- what do you mean "there is no science"? I mean, you were just talking about how much you love science and math for predicting your television shows. Wh- why do you not like it in this scenario? Like, do you either believe in science or do you not believe in science? | „ |
~ Charlie when a suicidal man ended up on Paddy's roof. |
Gallery[]
Images[]
Videos[]
Trivia[]
- Charlie Kelly is named after his actor, Charlie Day.
- Ironically, in real life, Charlie Day is married with Mary Elizabeth Ellis, who plays the Waitress in the show.
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The Gang Reynolds Family Recurring Characters The Nightman Cometh Others |