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“ | You wanna make America great ...for the first time? | „ |
~ Chip Fuckyeah |
Chip Fuckyeah is a minor antagonist in Paradise P.D., only appearing in the episode "Trigger Warnings". He is the head of the NRA, and the inventor of a species of anthropomorphic guns called smart guns, which he believes should be mandated to everyone of Caucasian heritage.
He was voiced by Dana Snyder.
Biography[]
In "Trigger Warnings", Chip Fuckyeah heard that Mayor Karen Crawford was looking to enforce stricter gun laws on Paradise and Chip took her and her son, Kevinm on a tour of the NRA to show her that guns were not the problem but rather the solution. He started by showing her a violent pro-NRA movie called "Guns Make a Better World", which was about Jesus Christ killing Romans at Golgotha. Kevin told him that he thought the perfect way to solve gun violence would be with smart guns, and Chip Fuckyeah said that the NRA was actually working on making them. He then introduced an anthropomorphic gun named Mr. Bang Bang, who was a happy and friendly little pistol who wanted to help make America a safer place for everybody although Karen was not convinced. That was, until he bribed her with a briefcase full of Canadian money.
Before long, smart guns were assigned to everybody in Paradise, including chief of police at Paradise P.D., Randall Crawford, who owned a 80's action movie-themed gun named Jean-Claude Van Blamme. Kevin was assigned Mr. Bang Bang and every other cop had a gun of their own to match their personalities. However, all was not well, as some of these guns were corrupt and would shoot innocent people, proving that the sentient guns can be just as criminal or mentally ill as human beings. When Mr. Bang Bang heard about this, he decided to go against what he was originally programmed to do and removed his ammo to stop gun violence. He led a city wide protest and told his fellow smart guns to remove their ammo and become non-violent creatures instead.
When Chip Fuckyeah and the NRA heard about how smart guns were going rogue, they were furious and needed to think of a way to stop them from betraying the NRA. Ironically, the NRA didn't seem to mind when the smart guns were killing innocent people. Chip Fuckyeah thought they should establish some kinds of rules to stop smart guns from speaking out against them, such as banning certain kinds of guns, enforcing a thirty-day waiting period before the smart guns could shoot their mouths off, and completely disregarding the second amendment, as he believed America was dealing with a kind of gun that their forefathers could have never foreseen. Little did he know, he was just reinventing gun control but to him, this was different, as he did not consider himself "Anti-Gun". He considered himself "Anti-Anti-Gun-Gun" and wanted to take away all the guns before the guns had their guns taken away.
Chip Fuckyeah, his associate Gary, and Paradise cops Randall and Gina Jabowski drove after Kevin in a car, and as he was driving, all of his anti-gun-guns to start a nationwide tour to protests against gun violence all across America. Chip and the NRA supporters tried to get Kevin to stop, but he had all of their guns so they couldn't shoot him. Thankfully for the NRA, they still had one regular gun with them that had not been reprogrammed because it was still in Charleton Heston's hands. Randall used this to shoot at Kevin, and the smart guns but they still made it to the airport.
At the airport, Kevin had some trouble passing security. The NRA came up to them and begged Kevin one last time to show mercy. Randall explained that the real reason he wanted America to have guns is because he needed them to get an erection. Chip Fuckyeah stated that he felt the same way, revealing his comedic small genitalia with a lack of testicles. A little boy named Petey just so happened to be strolling by at this time, and saw Chip exposed, which made him scream in terror. Chip said that everybody else in the NRA has some kind of penile or testicular inadequacy, and that guns are the only way they can feel better about themselves. NRA actually stands for "Nards Removed Association". To stop the chaos, Kevin very eloquently clarified that he wasn't trying to ban guns, and he was just trying to enforce gun control by wisely mandating stricter background checks on gun buyers and refusing to sell guns to those unfit to use them. Randall was swayed by Kevin's intelligent idea, but Chip Fuckyeah was completely opposed. He illegally took out some regular guns and started shooting at everyone, killing all of the smart guns. Chip recieved sexual pleasure from this, and the resulting euphoria from this caused him to be promptly arrested by Kevin and dethroned as head of the NRA.