There will be no mercy!
~ Chip Hazard's famous quote.
Soldiers, no poor sap ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by being all that he can be. Damn the torpedoes, or give me death! Eternal vigilance is the price of duty. And, to the victors go the spoils. So remember: you are the best of the best of the few and the proud. So ask not what your country can do for you, only regret that you have but one life to live! The war against the Gorgonites will be won! Commando Elite, let the first shot be fired! Search out the Gorgonites and frag 'em all!
~ Chip Hazard's speech of speeches

Major Chip Hazard is the main antagonist of the 1998 movie Small Soldiers. He was Archer's archenemy and the leader of the Commando Elite.

He was voiced by Tommy Lee Jones, who also played Two-Face in Batman Forever, William Strannix in Under Siege, Ryan Gaerity in Blown Away, Robert Dewey in Jason Bourne, H. Clifford McBride in Ad Astra and John Neville in Eyes of Laura Mars.

History

Film

Major Chip Hazard, a military action figure, along with the other Commando Elite, were designed by Larry Benson, but were created by Global Tech Industries. Each one of the Commandos were given a microchip known as the X-1000 and were programmed to kill Gorgonites. However, the X-1000 was designed to learn and adapt to the programming. So Hazard and the other Commandos became more and more like "real" soldiers, determined to kill the Gorgonites and anyone who was allied with them (whom they would call "Gorgonite allies").

Hazard tries to kill Alan Abernathy and the Gorgonites, and is shown to be extremely xenophobic towards the Gorgonites (though in fairness to Hazard and his crew, he was following a program, which dictated that the Gorgonites were enemies). However when the commandos began to precieve Alan as a threat, Hazard showed no problem with endangering the lives of others and was warmongering, aggressive, and capable. With aid from his crew, he terrorized any that got in his way and was not one for negotiation or diplomacy. He preferred a hands-on approach involving the creation of deadly war-machines made out of junk and the modification of toys into equally dangerous weaponry. When Nick Nitro was badly damaged by the garbage disposal and made it back to the rest of the Commando Elite, where he died in Hazard's arms, Hazard and the others held a moment of mourning.

After creating their machines, Hazard leads the Commandos in a siege of the Fimple family's household, where they immobilize Phil and Marion, the parents of Alan's love interest, Christy, by drugging them with sleeping pills and tie up her younger brother, Timmy, before appropriating her childhood toys, the Gwendy Dolls, into sentient reinforcements. When Christy returns home from a date, the Gwendy Dolls ambush, subdue, and restrain her, and when her boyfriend, Brad, attempts to rescue her, Hazard staves off the attempt by setting his pants on fire, scaring him out of the house. (It is later revealed that this act leads to Christy breaking up with him off-screen for abandoning her to Chip.) Now with Christy as their hostage, Chip coerces her into making a video for Alan and the Gorgonites that demands the surrender of the latter.

Hazard believes that he has won when Alan seemingly leaves a box containing the Gorgonites in front of the Fimple household, and he and the Commandos blow it up with dynamite. In reality, it is a decoy containing a recording of the Gorgonites' voices with Bumble Balls bouncing around to simulate the feeling of them moving around inside. This is because Alan and Archer have sneaked into the Fimple house to rescue Christy. Archer cuts her loose while Alan unsuccessfully deals with the Gwendy Dolls, who subdue him briefly before being defeated by Christy.

When the teens and Archer then try to escape Christy's house, they find themselves attacked by Hazard and the other Commandos, who are now fully utilizing their newly-created machines. They hop onto Christy's motorbike and take off with Hazard and the Commandos in pursuit. The teens and Archer seemingly emerge victorious when they make a daring jump over a ravine in the park that the Commandos cannot make themselves, destroying Chip and his men.

As it turns out, Hazard survives the failed pursuit of Archer, Alan, and Christy and washes up near a Big Toy Barn, where he kidnaps a truck driver, Joe, who is carrying a full truckload of unopened Commando Elites, stating that he's been "drafted." He activates them off-screen and unleashes them on the Abernathy household in a full-scale war. His intentions are not only to kill Archer and the other Gorgonites once and for all, but also Alan, Christy, Larry, his friend and partner, Irwin, Alan's father, Stuart, his mother, Irene, Phil, Marion, and Timmy, all of whom have gathered in the house for various reasons.

Hazard later sees Alan climbing a pylon containing two transformers on it which would create an EMP (electromagnetic pulse) that would wipe them out. He pursues him in his war-chopper, but is forced to eject after the Gorgonites fire at him.

Hazard stabs Alan with a knife to prevent him from destroying them. Archer suddenly intervenes and Hazard defeats him, mocking that Archer is programmed to lose, so there is nothing he can do. He then kicks him off the pylon onto the ground below. He celebrates, thinking he has won. However, Alan has had enough and seizes Hazard in a rage, jamming him in between the two transformers, triggering an EMP, which destroys the rest of the Commando Elite, and even the Gwendy Dolls who survived Archer, Alan, and Christy's escape. A damaged Hazard says, "There will be no mercyyyy..." before his circuits shut down, and he is terminated for good. They put what is left of the Commando Elite, including the Gwendy Dolls, into garbage bags, and it is presumed that they were taken to a steel plant to melt them in molten steel so they would never come back to life.

After the battle is over, Irwin showed head of Globo Tech Gil Mars what is left of Hazard, showing him only his damaged head with one of his eyes sticking out. Mr. Mars then decides to sell the Commandos to some rebels in South America.

Video Game

In the PS1 video game, Hazard sends his troops to invade Gorgon, the home world of the Gorgonites to destroy his enemies once and for all.

Archer who has sworn to protect his home world, destroys the Commandos' weaponry, defeats Hazard's troops, rescues the Gorgonites who were being held captive and goes to the Commandos' war torn home world.

There he breaks through their defenses, destroying everything to prevent them from invading Gorgon again before battling Chip himself in the inner sanctum of the main base Garrison Prime. Hazard has encased himself in deadly battle armor, but Archer still manages to defeat him and Hazard ends up fried to a fritter from the deadly range of one of his own cannons.

When the battle is over, Archer sticks one of his arrows into a tattered piece of the Commando flag, declaring the war finally over.

Gallery

Images

Videos

Quotes

Major Chip Hazard, reporting for duty sir!
~ Chip Hazard's first words when he is activated.
We are the Commando Elite! Everything else is just a toy!
~ Chip Hazard
All right, ladies, now listen good. Our mission: Destroy the Gorgonite enemy. Defeat him!
~ Chip Hazard
Soldiers, no poor sap ever won a way by dying for his country. He won it by being all that he can be. Damn the torpedoes or give me death! Eternal vigilance is the price of duty and to the victors go the spoils. So remember, you are the best of the best, of the few and the proud. So ask not what your country can do for you, only regret that you have but one life to live! The war against the Gorgonites will be won! Commando Elite, let the first shot be fired! Search out the Gorgonites and frag 'em all!
~ Chip's speech to his troops.
Are you scared? We're all scared. You have to be crazy not to be scared.
~ Chip Hazard to Christy upon her being taken hostage.
If it launches, lacerates or detonates, I want it mobile and I want it lethal!
~ Chip Hazard
Commandos Attack!
~ Chip Hazard
Gentleman, if war is hell then let's give em hell. We didn't start this war but we're damn sure gonna end it!
~ Chip Hazard
There will be no surrender, there will be no mercy! All Gorgonite scum must die!
~ Chip Hazard
We have met the enemy and he is you!
~ Chip Hazard
I love the smell of polyurethane in the morning!
~ Chip Hazard
Ain't war Hell!?
~ Chip Hazard
Expect no Mercy, Gorgonite Ally!
~ Chip Hazard
There will be no Mercyyyy...
~ Chip's last words before shutting down

Trivia

  • Like many homicidal machines, Hazard could be considered a homage to the Terminator, due to his status as a murderous toy. He also shares similarities to Chucky - however, Hazard also has a lot in common with the morally dubious character of war-films such as Full Metal Jacket (such as the infamous Sergeant "Animal Mother").
  • He is also an equivalent of Cobra Commander from G.I. Joe and Megatron from Transformers.
  • The late R. Lee Ermey and the late John Mahoney were considered for the role of Chip Hazard, but Ermey turned down the role, due to the character being too similar to Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Ermey's role from Full Metal Jacket. Mahoney also turned down the role before the role was given to Tommy Lee Jones.
  • While Chip cares greatly for his men, Link Static and Nick Nitro have the closet relationship with the Major. 

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See Also
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See Also
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