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| “ | I pledge allegiance, to the flag, of the Confederate States of America. And to the Republic, for which it stands. One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all... white people. Amen.
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| ~ Confederate pledge of allegiance |
The Confederate States of America, based on the real-life separatist government of the same name, is the main faction of the 2004 mockumentary comedy film C.S.A. It is an alternate reality version of the Confederacy that managed to not only win the civil war, but conquer the Union and expand slavery from the end of the civil war to it's reality's version of 2002, when the UK released a tv documentary about the Confederacy's history, and revealed a shocking secret it was hiding. This documentary, is the in universe version of the real life movie, and was shown 2 years later by popular demand. And as such, it even comes with in universe commercials that highlight more of what this alternate reality is like.
Overview[]
Like the real life Confederacy, this Confederacy was built on the foundations of black slavery and white supremacy. As such, slavery is the lifeblood of the Confederacy, and slaves can be bought and sold online or on TV either individually or in sets. There are even products for managing slaves, such as an electronic shackle, and "medication" called "Contrari", which essentially lobotomizes slaves and forces them to be complacent, obedient, and smile all the time. Slaves are not even treated as people and are treated for medical conditions by veterinarians.
Racism against black people is so strong, that racist imagery is common in Confederate businesses and products. Products and businesses such as Confederate Family Insurance, Sambo Axle Grease, The Cartwright Institute for the study of freedom illnesses, Office of Racial Identity, Darky toothpaste, Coon Chicken Inn, Gold Dust Twins washing powder, and cigarettes that use the N-word in it's name. The Confederacy also broadcasts racist TV shows such as "Leave it to Beulah" (a parody of Leave it to Beaver and Beulah), "Runaway" (a parody of Cops), and "Better Homes and Plantations" (a parody of Better Homes and Gardens).
Although Black people make up the majority of Confederate slaves, the Confederacy has also enslaved America's indigenous people, Mexicans, Central and Southern America's, Chinese and Japanese people. The Confederacy even denies women full rights, regulating them to housewives or jobs deemed "appropriate" for them, and LGBT are also oppressed. There is no separation between church and state and all non catholic religions are outlawed.
Because of these crimes, the rest of the world does not view the Confederacy with favor, especially Canada as it works with Confederate criminals to smuggle slaves through it's boarder. Despite demands for returning slaves, Canada refuses to yield. This gives the Confederacy and Canada a peaceful but tense relationship.
History[]
In 1862, after the Union's victory in the Battle of Antietam, President Abraham Lincoln issued the "Emancipation Proclamation", but his attempt failed. Confederate President Jefferson Davis took the opportunity to secure British and French aid for the Confederacy via Judah P Benjamin, allowing Confederate forces to win the Battle of Gettysburg with European aid, besiege Washington, D.C., and take over the White House only a few months later. Two years later, Union General Ulysses S. Grant surrendered to Robert E. Lee, ending The Civil War, or as the Confederacy called it "The War of Northern Aggression". Lincoln was captured and imprisoned before ultimately being exiled to Canada, while abolitionist Harriet Tubman was executed. In an interview given shortly before his death, Lincoln lamented his failure to make the abolition of slavery the primary aim of the Civil War, and expressed his hopes that it will one day be achieved.
The Confederacy then proceeded to annex the remainder of the United States, moving its capital to Washington, D.C., and introduced a tax on non-slaveowners in order to spread the institution in the North. Influential scientist Samuel A. Cartwright then "discovered" a supposed disease that causes slaves to run away, and declared slaves to be livestock. Canada ultimately became a haven for exiled abolitionists and runaway slaves, with relations with the Confederacy remaining peaceful but tense. The Confederacy sent a delegation demanding the return of all escaped slaves in Canada, but a speech by Frederick Douglass, a former slave and elected member of the House of Commons of Canada, swayed enough votes to prevent the deportation of the escapees back to the Confederacy.
In the Confederacy, most slaves were cowed into submission by a campaign of torture and executions. The last free Plains Native American nation fell to the Confederacy in 1890, and Native American children were forcibly removed from their families and sent to boarding schools intended to strip them of their culture and assimilate them into white American society, or enslaved. while Chinese migrant workers on the West Coast were also made slaves. In 1895, the Confederacy adopted Christianity as the state religion and banned all other religions in an attempt to quash religious influence among foreign slaves. After some debate, Catholics were accepted as Christians, but it was decided that the Jews will be asked to leave, gaining a reservation on Long Island.
Meanwhile, in an alternate reality's version of the Spanish–American War, the Confederacy embarked on a prolonged expansionist campaign to conquer the Caribbean and all of Latin America as part of their "Golden Circle". After decisively defeating Spain and conquering Cuba and the Caribbean, the Confederacy conquered Mexico. White settlers and their slaves are soon settled in plantations in Mexico, while a native Mexicans were enslaved and segregated from white society. The Confederacy went on to invade Central and South America, taking advantage of local political divisions as part of a divide-and-conquer strategy, and is able to conquer and enslave more people.
In 1929, the Wall Street crash occurred, and the Confederacy revived the trans-Atlantic slave trade from its state of Liberia in response. While the Confederacy neutrality in European affairs, it became friendly with Nazi Germany, even welcoming Hitler on a diplomatic trip. Despite this, the Confederacy did not approve of the Final Solution, even suggesting that the Nazis enslave Jews rather than exterminate them. But the advice fell on deaf ears. However, the Confederacy did see Japan as a threat and launched a preemptive strike against two naval bases and the city of Kyoto on December 7, 1941. The ensuing war was longer and bloodier than anticipated, and Confederacy reluctantly decided to recruit slaves voluntarily released by their owners for military service as soldiers, promising them their freedom after the war in exchange for fighting, but they took back their word. Japan was defeated by the use of the atomic bomb, while the Soviet Union conquered Germany and all of Europe and its colonies except the British Empire.
Years later, a Red Scare-like panic over abolitionism emerges and an insurgency against the Confederacy by a black underground group based in Canada called the John Brown Underground is formed. Once again, the Confederacy confronted Canada with demands to cease it's actions helping slaves. Canada again refused and in response, the Confederacy erected a wall called the Cotton Curtain along the border with Canada, further isolating it from the world and costing it its last trade partner as much of the rest of the world refused to trade with it due to its relations with the former Nazi Germany. The Confederacy even conducted airstrikes against Canada after the John Brown Underground assassinates the Confederate President, giving it even more angry looks from the rest of the world.
In 1960, John F Kennedy was elected Confederate President and found himself dealing with foreign policy issues such as the Newfoundland Missile Crisis and the Vietnam War. At the same time Canada became increasingly dominant in culture and sports; forcing the Confederacy to allow slaves to compete in the Olympic Games. The 60s also saw a rise in liberal views where the institutions of slavery, misogyny, and racism became questioned. Kennedy even promised to make reforms to give slaves and women more rights but was assassinated before he could enact them. Two major slave rebellions, one in Watts and another in Newark, were also suppressed and gradually the country returned to its racist views. The institution of slavery remained in place for years. But in 2002, the Confederacy was shocked by allegations of Democratic presidential candidate John Ambrose Fauntroy V having black ancestry, costing him the election and suicide. Two years later, with tensions rising between the Confederacy and Canada, the C.S.A documentary from England aired on Confederate TV, and the ending of the film subtly implies that due to a combination of an inevitable war with Canada, lack of international support, the stress that slavery is putting on the Confederate economy, and the reveal of the true state of the Confederacy's crimes to its people, the Confederacy's days are numbered.
Trivia[]
- Despite using the former Confederacy as its window, the movie is more of a criticism of America's systemic issues, such as racism, capitalism, misogyny, and whitewashing of history.
- Many of the products and businesses shown in the movies in Universe commercials are based on real-life products and businesses that no longer exist due to the use of racist imagery. Such former real products include:
- The Gold Dust Twins
- Sambo Axle Grease
- Darkie Toothpaste
- A Tobacco brand that used the N-Word in its name
- Coon Chicken Inn
- In reality, Judah P Benjamin was not able to secure European aid due to a lack of a decisive victory for the Confederacy that would turn the tide.
- The real Confederacy did have plans to occupy Central and South America in order to seize its cotton and sugar, and create a "Tropical Empire".
- During the civil war, The confederate had only 1 president.
- In reality, Dr. Samuel Cartwright did write propaganda about illnesses for slaves that would make them run away.
Gallery[]
