The Crooked Santas

Howard: You know you guys are? Nothing but a bunch of sleazy con men in red suits!

Mall Santa: What did you call us?
Howard: You heard me right. con-men, thieves, degenerates, low-lifes, thugs, criminals!

~ Howard Langston telling all the Crooked Santas who they really are.
I'm gonna deck your halls, Bub!
~ Giant Santa

The Crooked Santas are a group of con men in Santa Claus outfits and a villainous group in the 1996 American Christmas family comedy movie Jingle All The Way. They run a warehouse where counterfeit toys are made and sold for much more than they are worth.

Mr. Howard Langston encounters them during his desperate search for a Turbo Man doll. One of the Santas whom Howard first met from the Mall of America earlier tries to sell him a doll for $300, but it turns out to be a poor facsimille, as it speaks in Spanish and is not even put together. Since they refused to give Howard his money back by teling him all sales are final, Howard insults them all telling them that they are nothing but sleazy con men in red suits. He then fires the obnoxious mall santa's fake beard into his face, sending him flying. Then an all-out brawl ensues with the crooked Santas including the giant, muscular Santa Claus man, and when the police arrive, Howard uses a toy badge to pose as an undercover cop to avoid trouble with them, while the Santas are taken to prison.


Crooked Santas

  • Mall Santa/Mall of America Santa
  • Giant Santa/Huge

Crooked Elfs

  • Tony the Elf/Tony
  • Little Santa/Little Buddy





  • The Mall Santa was portrayed by comedian/actor Jim Belushi who had previously starred with Arnold Schwarzenegger in the 1988 film Red Heat.
  • Tony the Elf was played by Danny Woodburn who portrayed Angelo Pike in the 2002 dark comedy Death to Smoochy.
  • The Giant Santa was played by the famous wrestler Big Show (credited as Paul "The Giant" Wight).
  • The Little Santa was portrayed by the late Verne Troyer (credited as Verne J. Troyer) who was best known for his portrayals such as Mini-Me in the Austin Powers film franchise and Doctor Phreak in the 2001 comedy film Bubble Boy.
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