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You think this is the only illegal thing I have to do today!?
~ dan halen

Dan Halen is one of the main antagonists of the Adult Swim series Squidbillies, and possibly the main villain of the entire show. His actions drive many of the show's plots.


Dan Halen is a timeless entity and embodiment of evil. He lacks a torso, has stubby limbs, and doesn't wear any clothes. He also has long red hair and his fingers are shaped like claws.


Dan Halen's origins are unknown. All that is known is that he has been alive for a very long time, with records dating back to ancient Egypt.


Dan Halen's long-term goals, if any, are unknown. Dan Halen seems to come up with a new goal or plan on a weekly basis, and often makes things up as he goes along.

He seems to mostly be concerned with keeping his international enterprise running, making money, and maintaining control over Dougal County whilst avoiding legal complications.


Dan Halen is the owner of Dan Halen's Sheet Rock International. He runs his business from his supertall skyscraper located in Dougal County, Georgia. The company is centered around producing extremely dangerous or low-quality products and selling them at exorbitant prices. The company sometimes ventures into other endeavors if Dan Halen finds it profitable.

Dan Halen is also the de facto dictator and governing body of Dougal County. He rules through a shadow government and maintains his control through an army of Sheriff clones.


Dan Halen has many people working at his company, including the show's protagonist Early Cuyler, whose violent tendencies and low IQ make him a frequent henchman to carry out Dan Halen's dirty work. However, other times Early causes Dan Halen more trouble than benefit.

Dan Halen also employs a large number of illegal Mexican immigrants, who seem to do most of the physical labor at the company.

Dan Halen also produces an army of clones of the county Sheriff. They are grown in a secret field somewhere in Dougal County. These clones serve the purpose of securing Dan Halen's secret regime over the county unaware to its residents.

As a general rule, only one clone can be in service at a time. The new Sheriff clone will kill the existing one if he wasn't dead already. Although at some point this seems to have been discontinued, as multiple sheriff clones work behind the scenes and a deformed clone, Denny, also serves in the public eye.

As for other henchmen, Dan Halen will hire or influence whoever he needs to achieve his goal at the time, sometimes even forming a temporary partnership. However, he often legally screws over his temporary partner or henchman once his goal is complete.


  • Dan Halen has been alive for thousands of years. He even helped nail up Jesus and aided the Nazi party.
  • Based on what has been seen in the show, Dan is more wealthy than any man in the world (both in ours and theirs).
  • Dan was shown in several episodes to be a Neo-Nazi, even so he was willing to censor someone from saying a racial slur.
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