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|“||It's too bad you have to die. But look on the bright side: You'll be the lead story on the evening news, unless a cat gets stuck in a tree or something.||„|
|~ Diane preparing to kill Lois Griffin.|
Diane Simmons is a major antagonist in Family Guy. She is a recurring character of the first eight seasons of Family Guy and the hidden main antagonist of the ninth season premiere "And Then There Were Fewer". She is also a posthumous antagonist of the subsequent episodes of Season 9 and Season 10 episode "Tom Tucker: The Man and His Dream".
She was voiced by Lori Alan.
Diane was the coanchor of Channel 5 News alongside Tom Tucker for most of the series. She began dating James Woods after meeting him at a party, and was for awhile her life was perfect. When she turned 40, however, Tucker arranged to have her replaced by a younger, more attractive anchorwoman, and Woods dumped her. Diane then formulated a plan to get revenge: She would kill Woods, and frame Tucker for the crime, thus getting them both out of the way of her ultimate ambition to become lead anchor.
She manipulated a young intern named Priscilla into seducing Woods and persuading him to become a born-again Christian. Wanting to atone for his sins, Woods invited the people he had wronged - including the Griffin family and several supporting Family Guy characters - to a dinner party at his isolated estate. Unbeknownst to Woods, however, Diane had set a pistol to go off and kill him once he had sat down at the head of the table. Unfortunately, Glenn Quagmire's date Stephanie sat in the chair before Woods, so the gunshot meant for him killed her.
Realizing that her plan was in danger of failing, Diane improvised and caused a blackout, during which she stabbed Woods to death. When Muriel Goldman saw her putting the bloody knife in her suitcase, Diane killed her to keep her quiet. At that moment, Priscilla, who had not known of Diane's plan, discovered what she had done, so Diane killed her as well. Finally, she killed Derek Wilcox by bludgeoning him with a Golden Globe Award when he tried to call for help. She then hid the Golden Globe in Tucker's suitcase, framing him for all of the murders.
Her revenge complete, Diane was about to go home, but Lois Griffin figured out that she was the killer. Diane calmly explained what she had done, and then prepared to kill Lois. At the last moment, however, Stewie Griffin shot Diane dead to stop her from killing Lois before he could. Tucker was exonerated, and Diane was replaced as coanchor by Joyce Kinney.
- In the episode "Da Boom", in 2000, there has been a catastrophe that devastated the whole world, Diane and Tom have become cannibals, eating Tricia Takanawa.
- In the episode "Family Guy Viewer Mail No. 1", There is a version of Diane when she was a child, but it was considerable non-canon because, at the end of the episode, Peter Griffin remains single.
- From the movie "Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story", Tom and Diane present the first viewing of the movie at the news, with the cast of actors.
- In the episode "Blue Harvest", she is the anchorwoman of the Death Star.
- Diane also appeared when she leads the news with Tom Tucker in the episode "Lois Kills Stewie".
- Diane also appeared in the video game "Family Guy: The Quest For Stuff". Diane comes back to life as a ghost and Peter becomes her servant.
- Stephanie - Set up a firearm to cook off and pointed it at the head seat at the table. Stephanie was an unintended victim, as the bullet was intended for James Woods, who was to sit at the head of the table.
- James Woods - Stabbed during a power outage in revenge for dumping her although he was later resurrected shortly afterwards due to being a celebrity. Diane Simmons planned to frame Tom Tucker for his demise.
- Priscilla - Had her throat slit for knowing that Diane Simmons had arranged for the citizens of Quahog to meet James Woods for him to own up for his actions. Her body was planted in a vent shaft in Tucker's room, along with the golden globe used to strike Derek, in an attempt to frame Tucker for the murders.
- Muriel Goldman - Stabbed for catching her trying to frame Tom Tucker, though she was implied to regret having to do so.
- Derek Wilcox - Bludgeoned with James Woods' golden globe as he had attempted to summon first responders for help. Dr. Hartman declares that Derek was killed before he fell, and that his death was from a blunt object.
- Unnamed Mother
- Unnamed Husband (Deceased)
- Tricia Takanawa - Former Ally and Colleague
- Ollie Williams - Former Ally and Colleague
- Neil Goldman - Former Ally
- Tom Tucker - Colleague and Frenemy Turned Enemy
- James Woods - Former Love Interest and Victim
- Peter Griffin - Ally Turned Enemy
- Lois Griffin - Ally Turned Enemy/Attempted Victim
- Stewie Griffin - Ally Turned Enemy/Killer
- Brian Griffin - Ally Turned Enemy
- Chris Griffin - Ally Turned Enemy
- Meg Griffin - Ally Turned Enemy
- Stephanie - Victim
- Priscilla - Pawn and Victim
- Muriel Goldman - Victim
- Derek Wilcox - Victim
- Jillian Russell Wilcox
- Joe Swanson
- Bonnie Swanson
- Glenn Quagmire
- Mort Goldman
- John Herbert
- Dr. Elmer Hartman
- Seamus Levine
- Mayor Adam West
- Unnamed Anchorwoman