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|“||There's no way she could have known that I planned to kill James Woods and frame Tom Tucker. Thereby destroying the two people who cast me aside and ruined my life!||„|
|~ Diane Simmons explaining her motive to Lois Griffin.|
Diane Simmons is a recurring character in the first eight seasons of Family Guy and the main antagonist of the ninth season premiere, "And Then There Were Fewer". She is also a posthumous antagonist in subsequent episodes of Season 9 and Season 10 episode "Tom Tucker: The Man and His Dream".
She was voiced by Lori Alan, who also portrayed Pearl from Spongebob Squarepants, and The Boss from Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater.
She used to work for the Channel 5 News alongside Tom Tucker for most of the series, being very calm and kindful in nature. It remained that way until in "And Then There Were Fewer", when she previously dated James Woods until recently when she turned 40. She was then scheduled to be replaced by a younger woman by Tom Tucker, and James Woods dumped her. At that point, Diane turned mad & insane and secretly swore revenge against both James Woods and Tom Tucker.
Diane, along with all the other main and recurring Family Guy characters, was invited to a dinner party in their honor. Little did any of them know that it was James Woods who invited them, in an attempt to make peace with them all for wronging them in life. All of James's dinner guests sat down at the large table in the dining room, but when James had to go into the kitchen, Quagmire's date, Stephanie, sat in James's chair. When Brian attempted to open a bottle, the cork flew off. As soon as the cork flew off the bottle, Stephanie's chest turned red, and died. Diane had set a timer that, when the time ran out, would trigger a gun to fire at James's chair.
With her initial attempt of murder of James Woods failed, a series of events took place which resulted in the murders of four more people. Upon Diane realizing her mistake and everyone's suspense towards Woods over Stephanie's death, a power outage comes, and Diane took the opportunity to finally kill Woods without everyone looking. When four of the guests start to learn more towards her nature, she brutally kills them to cover her tracks while pretending to be scared along with other guests. Diane would later plant Priscilla's corpse and a Golden Globe she used to kill Derek Wilcox inside Tom's room, making everyone implicate Tom as the killer, leading him to be arrested. Delighted that she finally got her revenge against both Tom and Woods, Diane was about to go home, but Lois Griffin later finds out about her muderous nature, inciting Diane to murder her. While on a cliff, which lead to the ocean below, Diane attempted to shoot Lois, but was shot to her death by Stewie from a balcony of James Woods' mansion, who then told himself that he holds the rights to murder Lois and nobody else. Eventually, her murderous plot and death later became revealed to the public in the subsequent episode "Excellence in Broadcasting", and Tom is finally released to go back working for Channel 5 with Diane's replacement, Joyce Kinney.
Diane and the other characters deaths were considered canon by Seth MacFarlane, and have not been seen in the show since with James Woods being an exception, as he was resurrected due to being a celebrity.
- In the episode "Da Boom", in 2000, there has been a catastrophe that devastated the whole world, Diane and Tom have become cannibals eating Tricia Takanawa.
- In the episode "Family Guy Viewer Mail No. 1", There is a version of Diane when she was a child, but it was considerable non-canon because, at the end of the episode, Peter Griffin remains single.
- From the movie "Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story", Tom and Diane present the first viewing of the movie at the news, with the cast of actors.
- In the episode "Blue Harvest", she is the anchorwoman of the Death Star. Do not know if she was able to escape in time from the station before it exploded or if she is dead exploding with it.
- Diane also appeared when she leads the news with Tom Tucker in the episode "Lois Kills Stewie".
- Diane also appeared in "Family Guy The Quest For Stuff". In 2014, during Halloween, Diane comes back to life as a ghost and Peter does some favors to her. Later, Peter asks her what she will do now that she is alive and she tells him of wanting to kill Tom Tucker.
Murders Committed By Diane Simmons
- Stephanie - Set up a firearm to cook off and pointed it at the head seat at the table. Stephanie was an unintended victim, as the bullet was intended for James Woods, who was to sit at the head of the table.
- James Woods - Stabbed during a power outage in revenge for dumping her although he was later resurrected shortly afterwards due to being a celebrity. Diane Simmons planned to frame Tom Tucker for his demise.
- Priscilla- Had her throat slit for knowing that Diane Simmons had arranged for the citizens of Quahog to meet James Woods for him to own up for his actions. Her body was planted in a vent shaft in Tucker's room, along with the golden globe used to strike Derek, in an attempt to frame Tucker for the murders.
- Muriel Goldman - Stabbed for catching her trying to frame Tom Tucker, though she was implied to regret having to do so.
- Derek Wilcox - Bludgeoned with James Woods' golden globe as he had attempted to summon first responders for help. Dr. Hartman declares that Derek was killed before he fell, and that his death was from a blunt object.
- Lois Griffin (attempted) - She attempts to kill Lois to keep anyone from finding out she had killed the previous victims, but just before she pulled the trigger, Stewie Griffin shot Diane with a sniper rifle, and she tumbled off a cliff into the ocean.
- Unnamed Mother
- Unnamed Husband (Deceased)
- Tricia Takanawa - Former Ally and Colleague
- Ollie Williams - Former Ally and Colleague
- Neil Goldman - Former Ally
- Tom Tucker - Colleague and Frenemy Turned Enemy
- James Woods - Former Love Interest and Victim
- Peter Griffin - Ally Turned Enemy
- Lois Griffin - Ally Turned Enemy/Attempted Victim
- Stewie Griffin - Ally Turned Enemy/Killer
- Brian Griffin - Ally Turned Enemy
- Chris Griffin - Ally Turned Enemy
- Meg Griffin - Ally Turned Enemy
- Stephanie - Victim
- Priscilla - Manipulatee and Victim
- Muriel Goldman - Victim
- Derek Wilcox - Victim
- Jillian Russell Wilcox
- Joe Swanson
- Bonnie Swanson
- Glenn Quagmire
- Mort Goldman
- John Herbert
- Dr. Elmer Hartman
- Seamus Levine
- Mayor Adam West
- Unnamed Anchorwoman