| “ | Put your swimming trunks on, because you are both going for a little swim! | „ |
| ~ Dr. Werner von Kantlove |
Dr. Werner von Kantlove is one of the two main antagonists of the 2012 direct-to-video superhero mockbuster The Amazing Bulk, a parody of Marvel's The Incredible Hulk.
He was portrayed by Randal Malone.
Biography
Dr. Kantlove is an insane German scientist with erectile dysfunction. He lives in a castle, from which he launches missiles to commit random acts of terrorism for his amusement. Dr. Kantlove is financing a scientific project to develop a super serum, which he hopes to use to cure his erectile dysfunction.
His first appearance in the film is when he discovers his wife Lolita dancing in front of two of his guards. He shouts at her because she left her makeup on his antique table and she was flirting with the guards, who he then berates. One of them makes an insulting gesture at him, so Dr. Kantlove kills him with a ray gun. Lolita asks him about a ransom demand he made and he tells her that the money has been successfully transferred. To celebrate, Kantlove and Lolita go down to the basement and launch a missile to blow up the Institute of German Scientists, which it's implied Kantlove had a grudge against. This is followed by a montage of Kantlove using missiles to destroy various famous landmarks.
Later, two of Dr. Kantlove's henchmen tell him that they encountered a criminal named Skully who owed money to Dr. Kantlove and extorted him into giving them an engagement ring he stole earlier in the film. Kantlove decides to give the ring to Lolita before telling the two men that they are "going for a little swim", implying he killed them.
After giving the ring to Lolita, Dr. Kantlove tells her that he is planning to send a rocket to the Moon and blow it up. He goes down to the basement and launches it, but for some reason all that happens when the rocket lands is a cartoon monkey comes out. Meanwhile, the super serum Kantlove was funding is completed, so the military conclude that they no longer need him and send the Amazing Bulk to kill him. The Bulk enters the castle and Kantlove deploys a huge spherical boulder to crush it, killing a guard. The Bulk then chases him into a warehouse and he pleads for his life, but the Bulk simply crushes him.