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| “ | I'm Dusty Marlow. I used to be a sweetheart until I got sent to a women's prison after being falsely accused of murdering Santy Claus and now, I don't give a fuuuuck. | „ |
| ~ Dusty Marlow |
Dusty Marlow is a major protagonist in Paradise P.D. He is a clinically obese, dimwitted, cat-obsessed man, who works as a police officer for Paradise Police Department. It is a running gag in the show for him to be sexually harassed by Gina Jabowski.
Despite mainly being a hero and enforcer of the law, as well as the sweetest and most innocent character on the series, Dusty has all too often fallen from grace and done unquestionably villainous things on occasion. However, instances of villainy for him are still relatively rare, when compared to the low points of other Paradise P.D. members (sans Kevin).
In Season 3, Dusty's instances of villainy became far worse and more prominent. Dusty developed into an obnoxious, greedy, selfish asshole, who bullied and tortured everybody into obeying his ridiculous demands. During this season, Dusty got involved with donut store robberies, blackmailing his co-workers, leading a body positivity cult, and making Fitz his primary target for torture, abuse, and betrayal.
Dusty would officially devolve into a full-blown villain by Season 4, which was even lampshaded by the characters in a few of that season's episodes. In "The Brozone Lair", AFKAK pointed out how Dusty had changed and Dusty described his newfound villainy as "character development". In "Boat!", Dusty blamed this character development on his horrible experiences, being sent to a women's prison back in the Season 1 finale.
He is voiced by Dana Snyder, who has also voiced Stanley Hopson and Glenda within the same show, Gary Sedi in Superjail! and Master Shake in Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
History[]
The earliest we've seen into Dusty's life was a vivid memory he had of when he was six days old. According to Dusty, he split his diaper and his grandmother laughed at him. Dusty was embarrassed by this and held a grudge against his grandmother for the rest of his life, despite how nice she was. Years, later he got revenge on her by leaving her to die in a nuclear explosion in "Operation DD".
Little is known about Dusty's childhood, aside from the fact that his mother was pretty abusive. However, Dusty doesn't seem to care about the way his mom treated him. In "Black & Blue", Dusty said that as a child, his mom used to dress him as a woman and throw bricks at him. In "Christmas in Paradise", Dusty said that his mom gave him condoms as Christmas presents every year. In "Paradise P.D. Meets Brickleberry", Dusty said that his mom told him that if he had sex before he got married, Jesus would kill his grandmother.
At some point in Dusty's life, Dusty's diabetes gave him a life-threatening renal failure and he was in desperate need of a kidney transplant. Thankfully for him, his grandmother donated her kidney to him and saved his life. This, however, did not get Dusty to stop hating her for laughing at him that one time, when he was a baby.
When Dusty became an adult, he still acted like a child with a delightful sense of wonder, proving that he never really grew up. He was, however, able to live on his own. He moved into an apartment and got a job as a police officer at Paradise P.D., working for Randall Crawford. While he worked at his job, he was constantly being sexually harassed by his co-worker, Gina Jabowski. Dusty adopted a ton of cats and spent the majority of his paycheck on them, as seen in "Task Force".
In "Christmas in Paradise", Dusty was falsely accused of being the kingpin of the argyle meth kingpin, after he killed the real one. He was arrested, sentenced to one century in solitary confinement, and sent to a women's prison since the cops failed to find his buried penis and mistook him for a woman. When he was sent to jail, he shared a cell with Mrs. Two-Toes, the mother of the recently murdered argyle meth corporation associate, Terry Two Toes. Mrs. Two-Toes swore revenge on Dusty for allegedly killing her son and made the rest of his time in prison a living Hell. However, Dusty didn't seem to mind it one bit.
In "Paradise Found", Dusty was shown to still be perfectly happy in prison. Gina would visit him every day and try to bust him out to no avail. Dusty assured her that she didn't need to get busted out because he loved it where he was. It was shown that Dusty was repeatedly shanked by Mrs. Two-Toes during his time in prison. Other forms of abuse he endured were being beaten up by Glenda and having Donna Cooper insert mops into his anus. No matter how horrible Dusty's life got in there, Dusty was extremely happy with his life. One night, Dusty was sleeping on the top bunk, while Mrs. Two-Toes was sitting on the bottom bunk, whittling a shank to kill Dusty once and for all. Just then, Dusty's weight broke the bed and caused him to land on Mrs. Two-Toes and crush her to death. Immediately after she died, she was replaced by Stanley Hopson, who was going in disguise as a woman named "Hopsaletta" to help bust him out. Hopsaletta failed to make any progress in busting Dusty out of prison. However, Kevin and Gina were able to bust him out, when they showed security footage that proved that Dusty was not present in the holding cell where Terry Two-Toes was that day, clearing his name. This allowed Dusty to get set free from prison but it made Kevin a social pariah because now he had exposed himself as a dumbass, who screwed up and arrested an innocent man. A legacy which carried on into the next episode, "Big Ball Energy", where everybody (including Dusty) hated Kevin.
Appearance[]
Dusty Marlow is a notably fat Caucasian adult male with type two diabetes. He has brown hair, a double chin, a buried penis, and an insulin pump on his side, keeping him alive. Dusty usually wears his police uniform, which consists of a light blue shirt and darker blue pants.
Personality[]
Dusty is a stupid man, suffering from type two diabetes and makes absolutely no effort to save himself, as he spends every second engorging a bunch of junk food.
Villainous Acts[]
- In "Black & Blue", Dusty had an addiction to biting the heads off of pigeons. Before revealing he was the one to do this, he claimed that it was really children with down syndrome who did this. He also claimed that all they did was squint and got their own Olympics, showing a prejudice towards people with down syndrome.
- In "Police Academy", Dusty did a number of reprehensible things as per the request of Stanley Hopson, such as spanking a child, calling Mike Tyson "The N Word", (though Dusty thought that word was "Nincompoop"), and crushing an old woman to death in a failed attempt to have sex with her.
- In "Parent Trap", Dusty identified as a Native American and took offense to the Thanksgiving parade. Dusty invaded the Thanksgiving day parade and fired flaming arrows at the floats, destroying everything. He even grabbed Dr. Funtlichter by the hair and threatened to scalp him to death before getting tackled by Gina.
- In "Who Ate Wally's Waffles?", Dusty threw a violent rampage over his favorite Disney sit-com getting cancelled and took out his anger on multiple undeserving people. He broke into Paradise Police Department and attacked and lashed out at Randall and Gina for no reason. He later broke into the home of Robby and Delbert's parents to kidnap Delbert and take him away to Disney World. When he worked at Disney World, Dusty became the showrunner for the reboot of Wall-Eyed Wally and verbally abused all of his writers, by cussing at all of them when they were just trying to work and forcing them to rewrite the scripts hundreds of times, before he even read them. Eventually, Dusty drove all but one of his writers to suicide, as he refused to let the last remaining writer die. When Delbert tried to escape from Disney World, Dusty defrosted the brain of Walt Disney to control the Disney Castle and chase after him to destroy him. However, when Robby made a wish to get Delbert back, Walt Disney set Delbert free, failing Dusty's mission.
- In "Flip the Vote", Dusty died and went to Hell, proving that during life, he was bad enough to go there.
- In "Operation: D.D.", Dusty allowed multiple innocent people, including his own grandmother, who saved his life, to potentially die in a nuclear missile strike just because they laughed at him for splitting his pants at one point. To top it all off, Dusty also allowed his friend, Bullet suffer this same fate.
- In "Fallout", Dusty lugged around a refrigerator, which came as a major inconvenience to everybody around him. He crushed a guy's foot and Dusty just mockingly yelled at him to get over it. His fridge was plugged into a wall behind the stage of the play he was going to, causing an actor to trip over it and die. Dusty just mocked the dead guy and told him to walk it off.
- In "Top Cops", Dusty went to Frank and Jerry Flipperfist's donut shop and demanded free donuts. When refused, Dusty took out his billy club and wrecked the place but was still refused free donuts. Out of anger, Dusty knocked a bunch of straws onto the floor and left, knowing that the Flipperfists would have a hard time cleaning it up due to their disabilities. Dusty later came back to the store and took a massive shit all over the floor. Dusty said that this would look very bad in front of the health department and then revealed that he works for the health department. He gave the donut shop a bunch of demerits for a mess that he made there. Hobo Cop appeared to tell Frank and Jerry that they should give into Dusty's demands or else he'll destroy their store, just like he did to his candy store back in 1972. A flashback revealed that Hobo Cop used to be a successful candy store owner with a job and everything but had his life ruined by Dusty, who kept coming into his store and demanding free candy from him. When Dusty was refused free candy one day, Dusty lit a jar of his farts like a bomb and destroyed the entire store, ruining Hobo Cop's life (though this was all revealed to be a lie that Hobo Cop made up but believed at the time). Frank and Jerry decided not to let that happen to them and began to give in. However, Frank got a better idea. He and Jerry went to Switzerland and made a molecularly-unstable donut in the hadron collider and gave it to Dusty, when falsely surrendering to him. Dusty ate the donut and underwent a series of horrific transformations, which eventually led to him falling to pieces and never bothering the Flipperfists again.
- In "Ice Ice Babies", Dusty was punished with desk duty for the day, after shaking down Frank and Jerry's donut store. Dusty wanted to go to the carnival, so he blackmailed Gerald Fitzgerald by threatening to call the mutants who were after him, if he didn't do what he said. Fitz was forced to hook Dusty's desk up to the roof of his car and drive him to the carnival so that Dusty could go but still technically not be leaving his desk.
- In "Trigger Warnings", Dusty posted a video of an intoxicated Bullet singing and dancing in a bunny costume to the internet without his consent. Bullet was mad about this but Dusty saw how much views his channel was getting because of it and bribed Bullet into making more embarrassing videos with a drug called blowquila. After Bullet made a bunch of stupid videos for him, he asked Dusty to get him out of his bunny costume but Dusty instead ripped the costume's zipper off so he'd be stuck in it forever.
- In "Showdown at the O-bese Corral", Randall made Dusty join Weight Watchers but Dusty ended up convincing the entire group to stop trying to lose weight and instead embrace body positivity. He turned Weight Watchers into a cult, wherein he had his followers donate all of their money to him, offer him their bodies for sex, and kill people in his name. He would also go around in public, butt-naked and the cult technically evaded breaking the law because they were so fat that their genitals were hidden beneath their big bellies. Dusty straight-up broke the law, however, when he went to the Golden Corral and demanded the cashier give him free food. When he refused, Dusty flung him through the window, bodily injuring him and he joined the fat cult in eating a bunch of food from the buffet. When the other cops tried to arrest him, Dusty threatened that if they came any closer, he'd douse the building in gasoline and burn it down.
- In "How the Cookie Crumbles", Dusty drove Fitz to madness with an annoying song so that he'd be forced to take him to Goopy Goobers. There, Fitz was caught by the mutants who were out to get him and had to lie that he was Steve Harvey to avoid getting killed. Clovis believed this and Fitz was off scot-free before Dusty fucked him over by saying that "Steve Harvey" was hosting Family Feud while in town and invited the mutants to be on the show, forcing Fitz to keep up the act for even longer. In the end, Dusty completely fucked Fitz over by addressing him by name, revealing his true identity to the mutants, who then attacked him. At the very least, Dusty did show some respect for Fitz, by fighting off the mutants with some pizza, knowing it would scare them off long enough for him to escape.
- In "What Happens in Twatemala", Dusty robbed the casino buffet and then blamed it on a "Buffet Bandit", who ended up being real. He also got addicted to gambling and robbed the entire casino blind, though Karen was able to trick him before he could bankrupt the casino.
- In "The Brozone Lair", Dusty had a track record of killing 25 pet cats in one week alone, thanks to his neglectful and abusive care taking. This included a bunch of stray cats he ran over on the drive there. The pet store owner cut him off from buying any more cats, which was for the best, seeing how many of the cats in the pet store committed mass suicide, upon seeing him, just to get out of dying from his wrath. Dusty didn't see anything wrong with the way he was acting and continued on his journey to get another pet cat. During this time, it was established by the ghosts of his former cats that he killed them all in various ways, such as; starving Mr. Meowgi to the point where he forced him to eat the other cats, hugging one of his cats until his head exploded, infecting one of them with Hepatitis A, crushing one's head under his taint, and finally, stomping another one to death in present day.
- In "Diddy's Home", Dusty picked up a disabled girl on a dating website and raped her, crushing her to death.
- In "A Star is Porn", Dusty ate the brains of the Green M&M.
- In "Good Jeans", Dusty brought up how a while back, he got permanently banned from CostCo for eating one of the workers there named "Trey". Trey was a married man with children and now thanks to Dusty's cannibalism, Trey's wife is a single mother, who resents Dusty for killing her husband and even worse, for completely getting away with it scot-free.
- In "The Shartist", Dusty became a famous scatological artist and quickly let the fame go to his head, turning him into a money-hungry elitist, who explicitly stated that he doesn't like the poor and underprivileged because they can't afford to give him any money for his artwork.
- In "The Butt Cut", Dusty and Randall killed James Corden and sliced his belly off of his corpse.
- In "Boat!", Dusty competed with the other party dudes in a contest to win a six-slice toaster. Dusty won and shortly after obtaining the prize, he smashed it on the ground and stomped on it right in front of the other party dudes. Dusty stated that he didn't even want a six-slice toaster and merely wanted to destroy it to get revenge on his friends for not laughing at one of his jokes from earlier that day.
- In "King of the Norf", Dusty lied to Randall and Fitz about his mom being dead so that he could trick them into moving her fat ass across town to Goopy Goobers, where he was throwing her a surprise birthday party. During the entire time Fitz and Randall, moved Dusty's mom, Dusty provided no help to them whatsoever and even hindered them a few times, by torturing them for fun. During their mission, they went to a top secret government base, where Dusty shoved Randall and Fitz into a room with an evil hungry alien and trapped them inside, where he laughed at them getting tortured and ripped apart for no reason. Also during this time, Dusty robbed a McDonald's worker at gunpoint, demanding he make him a Shamrock Shake in the middle of October.
- In "Sack to the Future", Dusty time travelled back to the 1950's and kidnapped Desi Arnaz and tied him to a chair, threatening him at gunpoint to say funny things for his own amusement.
- In "The Eternal Reckoning", Dusty shoved his cousin into the lava pits of Hell, believing that killing him was a better alternative to going on a diet.
Trivia[]
- Dusty weighs six-hundred and fifty pounds and his cholesterol, (while the exact number is unknown), has four digits.
- Dusty's favorite TV show is The Golden Girls.
- Dusty is allergic to shrimp.
- Dusty has a skin condition called "Hungry Skin", which means that his skin absorbs clothing the way a tree grows around a fence post. Because of this, he doesn't actually wear clothes and just paints his clothing on.
- A flashback in "PARAD-ISIS" reveals that Dusty used to be a well-built, highly intelligent Marine soldier when he first joined Paradise P.D.. It wasn't until Gina got him addicted to donuts that he let himself become what he is today.
- He is the PD counterpart of Connie Cunaman from Brickleberry.
