Eastern European Hijackers are the main antagonists of the Family Guy episode "Passenger Fatty-Seven". They are a quartet gang of evil terrorists that want to kill Peter and his friend so that they can hurt anyone that they see, and then hijack the plane.
Biography[]
The tense situation on Flight 364 began immediately as Eastern European hijackers revealed themselves. They pulled guns from their bags, surprising the passengers. The lead hijacker pointed a weapon and ordered everyone to remain still. Peter, Cleveland, and Joe were stunned.
Cleveland noted the danger prompting Peter to offer some strange, unhelpful advice about being content with what he has realizing the gravity of the situation, Joe informed Peter they were being hijacked and quickly instructed Quagmire's copilot, Jimmy, to secure the cockpit door, which he did just before the hijackers slammed him to the floor. The lead hijacker declared the plane was theirs and threatened to kill anyone who moved or acted smart.
Meanwhile, Peter, wearing glasses and holding a corncob pipe, was engrossed in a book, searching for page 100. Quagmire attempted to radio the control tower, "This is Flight 364, we have a hijacking in progress," but the hijackers jammed the communication. Resourceful, Quagmire switched to a bizarre backup plan: a tin can and string communication system. He tossed the can into a nearby treehouse, managed to relay his distress call to the bewildered "treehouse boy," and was promptly yanked from the plane, losing his hat in the process.
The lead hijacker knocked on the cockpit door, demanding Quagmire open it or Jimmy would be harmed. Quagmire refused, stating he was landing at the closest airfield less than an hour away and insisted they release Jimmy. In response, the hijackers beat Jimmy with their guns, shocking the passengers. Joe demanded to know their motive. The second hijacker explained that America needed to be punished for supporting the opposition in their country’s civil war. Peter asked which country, and the second hijacker, perhaps sensing an opportunity for small talk, asked if Peter genuinely cared or was just trying to pass the time. Peter confessed it was the latter. When Quagmire continued to refuse entry, the lead hijacker threatened to begin executing passengers. Cleveland lamented the trip, and Peter wished he’d stayed home to finish his Inside Out movie remake.
As the lead hijacker's threat escalated, Peter tried to distract them by asking a nearby mom if he was still the worst person on the plane. The lead hijacker ordered Peter to come forward, grabbed him, and took him as a human shield. The lead hijacker demanded Quagmire open the door, but Peter told Quagmire not to, saying, "it's not worth it." Quagmire immediately agreed, which surprised Peter. Quagmire apologized, explaining he had to prioritize the 150 plus passengers, especially the "several" in the Commander's Club, to whom he issued a special welcome recognizing the danger, Joe and Cleveland realized they had to save Peter. Joe’s plan was to retrieve his gun from his checked baggage in the cargo hold by taking the elevator down from the galley. Cleveland agreed, noting they felt like they were in a hijacking movie. Joe confirmed the feeling, pointing out an impatient businessman who was demanding to reach his destination. The businessman distracted the second hijacker by focusing on his blue shirt and white collar, which he noted was "the same shirt" as his own. Joe and Cleveland took advantage of the distraction, slipped into the galley, and took the elevator down to the cargo hold. The third hijacker quickly noticed their empty seats and alerted the lead hijacker, who, taking Peter as a shield, headed down to find them.
In the cargo hold, Cleveland, briefly donning a black bra and asking Joe if he looked like Mickey Mouse, was quickly shushed by Joe, who found his checked bag and retrieved his gun. They heard the elevator whirring. The hijacker emerged, holding Peter, and demanded to know what they were doing. They hid as the hijacker prepared to shoot. Joe, declaring, "That's what you think," pulled a lever and opened the landing gear hatch. He told Peter to hold on, but Peter accidentally grabbed his own belt.
Peter and the lead hijacker struggled violently on the open hatch until they both stopped to hear Quagmire's announcement: "I know we've been hijacked, but I'd be remiss if I didn't point out that we're presently passing over Yosemite National Park." Looking down, the lead hijacker found it "truly awe-inspiring," and Peter agreed, adding, "you know what I don't see? Borders." Seizing the moment, Cleveland hurled a suitcase at the lead hijacker’s face, sending him falling to his death. Cleveland, calling him "Eurotrash," told him to "die in hell." Joe then closed the landing gear hatch, saving Peter. Joe explained to Peter that his expertise in wheels allowed him to know which lever controlled the landing gear.
Peter, Cleveland, and Joe crept back into the main cabin. Joe aimed his gun at the two remaining hijackers, but when he pulled the trigger, he realized he'd left his bullets in his shaving kit. The hijackers aimed back. Cleveland saved the day by throwing coffee into both of their eyes, and Joe then struck them with his gun, knocking them out. The passengers erupted in cheers. Quagmire emerged from the cockpit, congratulating them and noting the resolution was "quicker than the treaty signing at Appomattox." He told the relieved passengers they were just 10 minutes from landing at an airfield in Nevada.
The businessman who had been so impatient stood up, thanked the heroes, and then suddenly shoved Quagmire. He revealed he was not a businessman but the fourth terrorist, reserve member, and speaking in his Eastern European accent, he brandished a gun and took Quagmire into the cockpit. He declared the plan was back on: they would crash the plane into the "ultimate symbol of American materialism," Las Vegas. Joe lamented that he'd lost a ton in Vegas and now would lose his life there. Peter complimented Joe's joke, and Joe thanked him, noting Peter's compliment meant a lot.
The fourth hijacker took control, announcing they were less than 20 minutes from Las Vegas, and told Quagmire to say goodbye to his "precious Rita Rudner." Quagmire discovered their target was the biggest hotel on the Strip and that killing the comedian would just be the custard on the dumpling as they approached, Peter woke a sleeping passenger, telling him they were all about to die, explaining "nobody wants to die in their sleep." The passenger instantly panicked in the cockpit, the fourth hijacker told Quagmire his country would now pay for its "imperialistic sins." Quagmire, oddly, asked why hijackers couldn't be quieter in pornos. The fourth hijacker explained it was to mask the sound of children playing nearby and then ordered Quagmire to shut up as the fourth hijacker sat down, Quagmire noticed his seatbelt was unbuckled. He pushed the seatbelt button, asked the hijacker if he'd ever been to Vegas and, buckling his own belt, flipped the plane upside down. The maneuver sent the fourth hijacker tumbling, injured, to the floor. Quagmire corrected the plane's position and emerged, furious that so many of the knocked-out passengers hadn't paid attention to the seatbelt sign.
Cleveland praised Quagmire's quick thinking, but their relief was short lived when an air force fighter jet appeared, ready to shoot them down, believing the hijackers were still in control. With communications jammed, Peter took the fourth hijacker and his gun and held them up to the window to signal to the jet pilot that they had defeated the terrorists. However, the pilot, seeing a man with a blue shirt and white collar being held hostage, assumed the man was an important businessman and that the terrorists had him. The jet prepared to fire.
Quagmire realized the jet was getting into firing position. He ordered the passengers to their seats as the military jet shot missiles at the plane, which was now speeding through the Las Vegas skyline. Peter noticed a billboard and pointed out that Frank Caliendo had a 5:00 show. Quagmire attempted to land, but a missile struck the wing. Joe shouted, "We've been hit!" and Cleveland feared they would die. Quagmire promised they would make it, but Joe warned they were going too fast and would crash into a lake. Quagmire pulled up sharply, causing the plane to splash down into the lake, where it briefly hydroplaned before stopping safely on the sand. Quagmire declared, "Right there, that's good," and then discharged the plane's fire retardant, which led to Peter, Cleveland, Quagmire, and Joe all saying, Giggity as the passengers evacuated & tended by the EMTS, firefighters tended to the plane, Jimmy was also treated by EMTs, and the three surviving hijackers were arrested by the FBI.
