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|“||What the hell are you starin' at?!||„|
|~ Duckman's catchphrase.|
|“||Hommina hommina how wah!||„|
|~ Duckman's other catchphrase.|
|~ Duckman's trademark scream.|
Eric Tiberius Duckman (also known as Duckman) is the titular main protagonist of the TV show with the same name Duckman.
He was voiced by Jason Alexander, who also portrayed Philip Stuckey in Pretty Woman, Henry Grace in Criminal Minds, Zutho in The Legend of Tarzan, Catbert in Dilbert, and Abis Mal in Aladdin: The Return of Jafar and the Aladdin TV series.
Duckman is a perverted, lazy, selfish, abusive, and incompetent duck who works as a detective, along with his best friend Cornfed. He is also very neglectful to his kids as he does take them for granted and sometimes want nothing to do with them, but he honestly loves them nonetheless.
He is also pretty abusive to his stuffed-bear assistants, Fluffy and Uranus, as he constantly gets annoyed by their kind demeanor, political correctness, and trying to make him into a better person, and he often retaliates by murdering them however way he can, but they are immortal and come back in the next episode fine.
He is also very depressed about his deceased wife, Beatrice, which is why he is so angry, grumpy, and grouchy. In the series finale, it was revealed that Beatrice was alive the entire time and Cornfed didn't tell him for unknown reasons.
|“||Duckman: "Sue me, I'm colorful! Doesn't mean I belong in here making potholders with the wackos! Besides, what gives you the right to judge other people anyway?"
Ducharme: "Ze diploma? Judging people is pretty much ze main benefit."
Morsink: "Dat, and ze license plates with M.D. on zem. You can park almost anywhere."
Duckman: "And when you think about it, isn't that exactly the point?"
(Ducharme and Mersink look at Duckman quizzically)
(Ducharme and Mersink look at each other and smile)
Duckman: "...And driving, and shopping, and eating, and working? Somewhere, somehow, they all got chewed up and spit back out, and they don't taste like living anymore! Don't you see what it's like in this deranged whirring blender of a world? Every day is an agonizing ordeal, like balancing a pot of scalding water on your head while people whip your legs and butt! ...Aaaah, you never forget your senior prom... You think I'm "sick"?! Well the only disease I've got is "Modern Life," a schnutbusting gauntlet of inefficiency and misery that's one long parade of let-downs, put-downs, trickle downs, shutouts, freeze outs, sell-outs, numnuts, nincompoops and nimrods, all making every day as much fun as waxing a flaming Pontiac with your tongue, where even if you do luck into the possibility of some fleeting pleasure, like, say, if some nymphomaniac telephone operator with the muscle control of Romanian mat-slappers agree to a little strip air hockey, it'll be over before it starts, 'cuz some vowel-lacking, feta-reeking cab-jockey slams his checker up your hatchback, and the cab is owned by some pinata spanker from a Santeria cult in Xoacalpa who starts shaking chicken bones at ya and gives you a boil on your neck so big, all it needs is Michael Jordan's autograph to make it complete! And even with all this, with ALL THIS, I still drag my sorry butt off the Sealy every morning and stick my face in the reaping machine for one more day, KNOWING when it's time to flash the cosmic card key at those pearly gates, I won't be in the coffin anyway 'cuz some underhanded undertaker sold my heart, pancreas and other assorted Good 'N' Plenty to that same Santeria cult! So does ANYBODY really wonder why ANYBODY is hanging onto sanity by the atoms on the tips of their fingernails while life dirty-dances on their digits, and is it really any wonder that I seem DERANGED??!!"
(Ducharme and Mersink stare in shock while Ducharme spills some water on the floor)
Duckman: (chuckles) "That's probably nothing you haven't heard a hundred times before."
|~ Duckman's longest rant|
- His most known villainous acts are murdering and abusing his two living stuffed bear assistants Fluffy and Uranus (who are immortal).