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Esmé Squalor is the secondary antagonist of Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events and it's Netflix remake of the same name in which she acts as the secondary antagonist in both its second and third seasons. She is the former wife of Jerome Squalor and the ex-girlfriend/former acting student of Count Olaf.

In the TV series, she was portrayed by Lucy Punch, who also portrayed Verity Thwaites in St. Trinians.


First appearing in "The Erstaz Elevator", Esmé is the sixth most important financial advisor in the city and the wife of the dimwitted but good-natured Jerome Squalor. Esmé adopted the orphans as she believes that orphans are "in" and has rather selfish and vain motives for having them in the first place. She allows Count Olaf into her home disguised as a foreign fashion icon known as Gunther and attempts to make the Baudelaires believe his disguise but continuously fails.

Later on she reveals herself as an accomplice of Count Olaf and shoves the orphans down the elevator which had no shaft inside it. She tells the orphans their plans for them and celebrates victory with Count Olaf. The next day the auction that she and Count Olaf had been preparing for begins and towards the end Olaf's disguise is revealed and the two flee from the scene along with Olaf's theatre troupe.

In the following story "The Vile Village" she assists Olaf by disguising herself as a police officer known as Luciana and together they take over the entire village by manipulating them all into believing the Baudelaires are murderers who killed Count Olaf despite the fact that he is actually disguised as a detective and himself had actually killed Jacques Snicket of whom he had disguised as himself in order to fool the residents into believing his disguise.

They are foiled in the end however after Esme's harpoon gun is revealed to be a mechanical device much to the fury of the villagers.

In "The Hostile Hospital", Esmé once again disguises herself as a nurse and chases down the orphans in a library of records where she pushes filing cabinets in attempts to crush and or trap them as opposed to chasing them as her dagger ended heels made this too difficult to achieve. In the book she appears as one of Olaf's few minions to successfully escape the hospital after it is lit on fire however in the TV series all of Olaf's minions successfully escape.

In "The Carnivorous Carnival", Esme accompanies Olaf to the Caligari Carnival and grows a jealousy of Madame Lulu, who constantly behaves in with Olaf in a flirtatious manner. She plots with the freaks to murder Madame Lulu.


           Lemony Snicket signature.png Villains

Count Olaf's Theater Troupe
Count Olaf (2017) | Esmé Squalor | Hook-Handed Man | Henchperson of Indeterminate Gender | White-Faced Women | Bald Man | Carmelita Spats | Hugo, Colette & Kevin | Wart-Faced Man | The Man With a Beard But No Hair | The Woman With Hair But No Beard

Inhumane Society
Hangfire | Ellington Feint | Dr. Flammarion | Nurse Dander | Stew Mitchum | Sharon Haines

Dr. Georgina Orwell | Sir | Vice Principal Nero | Ernest Denouement | Ishmael | Bombinating Beast