Fattybones Malone

This article's content is marked as Mature The page contains mature content that may include coarse language, sexual references, strong drug use, extremely traumatic themes, and/or graphic violent images which may be disturbing to some. Mature pages are recommended for those who are 18 years of age and older. If you are 18 years or older or are comfortable with graphic material, you are free to view this page. Otherwise, you should close this page and view another page. Note: Content classification services hold no influence over the template's criteria and usage. Only the content itself matters.

Evil-doer
Full Name	Fattybones Malone
Alias	The Notorious Drug Lord (by the police chief) Fattybones (by Vinny The Rat, Lewie Skinnybones Malone and Flappy Jack) Boss (by Reggie, Benny and Flappy Jack)
Origin	Cyanide and Happiness
Occupation	Drug lord
Powers / Skills	Vast resources High intelligence Acting Command over his goons
Goals	Lead his drug empire. Evade the authorities (all succeeded). Sell Bags Of Crystals meths (failed). Kill his treacherous accomplice Flappy Jack (succeeded/often failing). Dispose of his resurrected former accomplices (ongoing).
Crimes	Organized crime Drug dealing Mass murder Conspiracy Torture Fraud Racketeering
Type of Villain	Homicidal Crime Lord

“	No Face! You two-faced rat!	„
	~ Fattybones Malone after being betrayed by No Face.

Fattybones Malone is a crime lord and a major antagonist in the web-series Cyanide and Happiness, first appeared in the Cyanide and Happiness skits "Harry the Handsome Butcher: Part 3", "The Sting Operation", "The Whack Job", " and "The Whack Job: 2" in all of which as the main antagonist. He is a large stereotypical mob boss, often portrayed in mob situations.

He is voiced by Geoff Galneda.

Biography

Harry the Handsome Butcher: Part 3

In the skit, Harry the Handsome Butcher was arrested after turning himself in for cutting off one of his former boss's faces. As one the chief officer stamped Harry's case-folder with a "THE END" stamp, another officer walked in and revealed that Fattybones Malone was back on the streets, continuing to peddle crystal meth. The chief concluded that they needed a man on the inside, and they decided Harry would be that man. The scene switches to Fattybones pilling bags of crystal meth into a safe, which turned out to be Harry's face. As he did, he discussed that he had discovered one of his henchmen had been working as a police informant for the past eight years. He told them that he believed it was Reggie, a goon standing closest to him wearing a blue shirt. Reggie protested, but he had little time as he was shot to death, causing his body to break through the glass and fly out the window. Fattybones put his hand on Harry's shoulder and talked to him about how he was his closest and most trusted friend, having been through many trials together. He asked Harry why he didn't participate in Reggies execution, and Harry replied by telling him that he had been the police informant. He revealed the police equipment under his shirt and Fattybones called him a "Two-Faced Rat". The scene switched to Fattybones wearing a prisoner uniform behind bars, and Harry being rewarded with a medal. Despite his victory, Harry was still put in jail in the same cell as Fattybones.

The Sting Operation

In this episode, he appeared to be out of prison in a warehouse where everyone on his team revealed themselves to be undercover cops. The twist was that the Fattybones that was in the warhorse was actually two cops, the real Fattybones being disguised as a cop outside.

The Whack Job

In the first The Whack Job, he was seen attempting to kill someone in his mob who was taking more than he should have been. The man pleaded for his life, and after seeing that he was going to be drowned with concrete shoes, he begged for them to allow him to choose what kind. Fattybones agreed, but the man ended up choosing a kind that he couldn't drown in, allowing him to get away. Fattybones later spotted him in town and had him shot down.

The Whack Job 2

In the second Whack Job, Fattybones and his men are seen dumping the body of the man from the previous episode into the lake. Little did they know that nuclear waste had been dumped in the lake, causing the man and all the men who were dumped before him to become giant with glowing green skin. At the end of the episode, Fattybones was seen staring out at the mutants and holding a shotgun.

The Gang's All Here

TBA...

Appearance

He appears to be an obese caucasian male with a rather large body, having a double chin. His eyes appears to always be closed. He is wearing a grey fedora with a pink stripe across it, a pink under shirt, a grey trench coat around his shoulders but not his arms, a brown belt with a golden buckle, and a pair of grey pants.

Personality

Fattybones suits the personality of a stereotypical "GodFather", talking in an Italian accent and using similar phrases. His personality has a lot in common with that of Mr. Big. Fattybones is very homicidal, willing to kill anyone whom betrays him or double crosses him. He is sometimes be incompetent, as shown when he allowed one of his men whom he wanted to kill pick his last pair of shoes, the man picking a pair that would allow him not to drown. He has also shown himself to sometimes be one step ahead, such as when he outsmarted all the undercover cops that tried to bust him.

However despite this he shows an honor system (like many stereotypical gangsters in fiction) and is genuinely hurt when Harry betrayed him, having grown so attached to him that he had even made him his son-in-law.

Quotes

“	Like I said.. No one double-crosses FattyBones Malone!	„
	~ Fatty bones revealing himself from his disguise as the Chief in The Sting Operation.

Gallery

Trivia

• The name "Fattybones" previously assumed to come from his large physique, is actually a reference to his penis size. "Malone" is short for "Ma long dick".