| “ | Knock, knock, knock. Someone lose a dog? | „ |
| ~ Larry after returning Nevins to the Walden house, also his first line. |
| “ | Conrad: I heard what you said. I'm not going to military school, Larry! Larry: Look, buddy, I know I'm not your dad. And this is probably really strange for you, you know. Your neighbor's dating your mom. But here's the thing, son. I don't like you either. But I'm gonna marry your mom. |
„ |
| ~ Larry admitting how he really feels about Conrad and his intentions towards Joan. |
| “ | Sally, baby, angel, princess, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret, okay..... NOBODY LIKES A SUCK-UP!! | „ |
| ~ Larry showing his true colors to Sally. |
Lawrence "Larry" Quinn is the main antagonist of the 2003 live-action adaptation of Dr. Seuss' The Cat in the Hat and its video game adaptation of the same name. He is the Walden family's pompous, yet unemployed, next-door neighbor who’s determined to marry Joan Walden for her money and send her son Conrad away to military school.
He was portrayed by Alec Baldwin, who also played Fred Frenger Junior in Miami Blues, Jed Hill in Malice, Dennis in The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie, Makunga in DreamWorks' Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa, Kennebrew Beauregard in BlacKkKlansman, Mark Cordell in The Juror, Nick Kudrow in Mercury Rising, Blake in Glengarry Glen Ross and Donald Trump in Saturday Night Live While in the game he was voiced by Fred Tatasciore.
Personality[]
Briefly appearing modest and mild-mannered, Larry presents himself as an ideal suitor in the eyes of his girlfriend Joan. In reality, however, he’s a greedy, unemployed slob who is only dating her, and wants to marry her, to pay off his debts and further use her wealth to spoil himself. He is too lazy to work for a living, preferring to eat and sit around his home watching television. He is very manipulative towards Joan, feigning empathy with her difficulties juggling her family and work life before enticing her with his proposal to send Conrad away. He also has no qualms sneaking into her home and stealing from her; it’s possible he actually holds little respect for Joan, indirectly nearly insulting her when insulting her son and cut her off in her phone introduction.
Larry only presents himself as a soft-spoken and refined individual whenever Joan is around. In actuality, he’s very rude with low regard for manners and hygiene, such as belching in front of her children after breaking into their house and stealing food, having his home a mess, and, in two instances, sneezing over Conrad and Sally’s shoulders and into his hands. Larry often behaves crassly or eccentrically to express his feelings, exemplified by him arrogantly performing karate moves in Joan's living room (when she wasn’t around), picking his belly button in his home, passing gas, and sticking his tongue out when he believed he finally convinced Joan, making a wheezing laugh when gloating to Nevins, and whimpering when he lost the kids and the Cat.
Larry is also pompous and snobbish, believing himself better than others, but this is hypocritical since he is really a careless slacker trying to leech off his wealthy girlfriend. He places an exaggerated importance on superficial things, such as his false appearance and his girlfriend's wealth, and acts arrogant and mocking towards people he believes are below him. This is particularly true with his opinion on Conrad, choosing to criticize the boy for his rule-breaking nature and expressing a desire to straighten up his behavior. This side slips out in public when he’s frustrated with others, shown by him acting rude and demanding towards the repo men and a hippie that was actually the Cat in the Hat in disguise. There is a possibility that this sense of superiority, as well as his laziness and unemployment, came after a period of success and achievement, since he has several trophies on display in his otherwise messy house.
Even while presenting a charming demeanor to Joan, Larry's work-shy nature was discreetly shown when he declined to help her set up for her party by lying that he had to prepare for a meeting at his false job, which visibly disappointed her despite her understanding. From the program on his television as it was confiscated, he probably has perverted interests as well. While he showed decency in public by having his hair groomed and his weight veiled (as well as being visibly embarrassed when Nevins ripped his pants off in a deleted scene), Larry has no regard for his outlook when in his house. He leaves his protruding belly exposed rather than pulling his tank over it after removing the corset veiling it, and was not self-conscious of it or his home being in disarray when the repo men entered. This showed how, aside from Joan (possibly until marrying her), he cares little for others' opinions.
Despite his indolence, Larry is ambitious and opportunistic, taking Nevins' second escape as a chance to incriminate Conrad for his irresponsibility. As his goals seemed successful, he became increasingly controlling towards Joan while insensitive about her feelings. Once Joan decided to at least consider his military school idea, he immediately responded he’ll meet her once he retrieved Nevins before hanging up on her, uninterested in her uncertainty about sending her son away prior to her decision; he also did little to assuage her concerns given his description of the treatment in the academy. He urged her to get home to prove her children's mischief, even when pulled over by police (who were really the Things in disguise), and hijacked the false policemen’s scooter in impatience. It’s likely even if he had succeeded in getting rid of Conrad, he would still fail at his ultimate goal of marrying Joan given her diminishing faith in him after these behaviors; and even if he had succeeded in said goal, it would have likely been short-lived.
He dislikes Conrad and took any opportunity to pick on and demean him behind Joan's back, turning his hostility into a fake friendliness when sensing her coming back into hearing range. At first, he suggested to send Conrad into military school as a form of discipline for his bad behavior, but it turns out that he only wants to do it to get rid of him. This is likely because Conrad knows too much about Larry and his intentions for his mother, given how he saw him fool Joan with his false job, and can expose him. He also hates Joan's daughter, Sally and the family's dog, Nevins (along with other children and animals), calling her a "suck up" for being a sycophant to her mother, even though he has similarly been brownnosing Joan in their relationship, and views the latter an insignificant animal. His attempts to get them in trouble with Joan as well shows he wants to get rid of not only Conrad, but also Joan's entire family so he can solely benefit from her money and keep his hold over her.
Traumatized and humiliated from his encounter with the Cat and ordeal through the Mother of All Messes, Larry becomes incensed and somewhat manic, making him neglect any self-control he would have around Joan. With little proof to what he had been telling her, he becomes desperate to win her over, which diminishes his arrogance and charisma as well as making his true feelings towards Conrad evident. Joan's final decision to trust Conrad and dump him made Larry completely lose all composure as he repeatedly cried her name and fell on his knees. Larry makes a complete fool of himself, his façade as the perfect partner to Joan completely broken, by sneezing into his hands in front of her, resulting in a disgusted Joan rejecting him.
Biography[]
The Cat in the Hat[]
Larry first appears posing as a businessman, returning Joan's dog Nevins to her after Conrad gets into trouble for messing up the house. He believes the disobedient boy should be sent to military school to discipline him, though Joan, despite Conrad's misbehavior, is unsure and believes it may not be right for him. Conrad overhears his conversation with his mother (along with the attempted manipulation) before she goes to answer a phone call, and interrupts Larry's small fuming (doing karate moves in the living room) saying he isn’t going to military school. Larry immediately displays his arrogance by verbally abusing and provoking Conrad while praising himself, before reverting to his friendly façade when sensing Joan coming back into hearing range. He then leaves when Joan asks for help setting up for her party, claiming to have a meeting, though Conrad spots him exiting his car and going back into his house after Joan eventually has driven away from sight.
Later on, Larry sneaks into the Walden household and sees Conrad and Sally jumping on their couch. He exposes his true colors by calling Sally a "suck-up". He then shows his crude mannerisms by stealing some beer, making a sandwich with food in Joan's fridge, and burping in her children’s faces, much to Sally's disgust. He leaves when his allergy to cat dander acts up after the Cat in the Hat's fur falls near him.
Back home, Larry is revealed to be a lazy, overweight slob in debt, in a cluttered living room filled with food, trash, and trophies. Carelessly refusing to employ himself, he only pretends to be a sales agent to win Joan's favor and hand in marriage in order to pay off his debts and mooch off her further on. He laboriously removes his corset, places his false teeth in a glass, and indulges in watching an adult program in his recliner until he hears a knock at the door. A trio of repo men arrive to repossess his TV, much to his dismay, and he attempts to bribe them with expired credit cards and bosses them around rudely before they leave. After that, he notices Nevins running on the streets again and sees this as an opportunity to frame Conrad as irresponsible. He calls and reports this to Joan and brings up his early suggestion of military school, to which she’s reluctant to, stating her son is "sensitive" like Larry, who snidely picks his nose at this comparison. Larry instantly hangs up replying he will retrieve Nevins and meet Joan at her office when she decides to take up the idea; his curt response causing Joan to begin to mistrust Larry and his motives. After hanging up on her, Larry passes gas and picks his belly button in a sense of accomplishment, over the chance he has to finally incriminate Conrad and marry his girlfriend. He later tracks Nevins down and drags him to his car, planning to deliver him to Joan as proof, but Nevins whizzes on his taco as he gloats in front of the dog, as a form of revenge for kidnapping him.
Larry arrives outside Joan's office to deliver Nevins to her. But the Cat (posing himself as a hippie) tricks him into giving Nevins back to the kids. Larry soon realizes the deception after seeing Conrad, Sally and the Cat run off with Nevins as they attempt to hurry home. Larry chases them into a secret place, located in a telephone booth and manages to lose them. Unable to find them after exiting, a frustrated Larry goes back over to Joan's office and convinces her to go back to the house with him to prove her kids were up to no good. However, they get pulled over by Thing 1 and Thing 2 (posing themselves as police officers).
Seeing the trio in his car and with Joan's refusal to continue driving, Larry decides to take matters into his own hands by hijacking the Things' police motorcycle to drive to Joan's house himself and tells her to meet him there while the two Things continue to distract Joan. There, he catches the kids and plans to have them punished by their mother. He attempts to push the kids around into entering the house, insulting them by calling them "maggots." Conrad tries to warn him not to go inside the house as it is a complete mess, but Larry cuts him off and escorts the two inside and is surprised to see that the house is clean. At that point, the Cat personally appears to startle Larry, who sneezes and staggers into a wall. He screams "JUDAS PRIEST" while falling off a cliff and down in a purple river, revealing a bizarre dimension known as The Mother of all Messes, which came to be after Conrad picked the lock to the Things' crate and let it get attached to Nevins' collar. Although the house eventually returns to its normal proportions, it immediately collapses.
Upset by the turn of events, Conrad and Sally angrily dismiss the Cat, and decide to take full responsibility for what happened and face punishment from their mother. Fortunately, the Cat and the Things return to fix and clean up the house magically to its original state (much to the kids’ delight). In the meantime, Larry is revealed to have survived his fall, released from the house through a pipe and covered in purple slime.
After the Cat and the Things have left, Joan returns home and is kindly greeted by her kids and Mrs. Kwan before Larry appears behind her. Seething with anger, Larry enters the house and tries to tell Joan what happened even though he realizes the house is perfectly normal. Subtly mocked by Conrad, Larry tries to manipulate Joan into agreeing with him one last time, only for her to admit that, despite Conrad's recklessness, she deems he's a good kid and believes in him.
Resolute in her decision, Joan asks Larry to leave, effectively ending their relationship. Shocked and horrified, he repeatedly cries her name as she and Sally silently direct him out the door while Conrad observes. Joan rips the military brochure he gave her earlier in two and presses it to his sticky chest, at which Larry falls on his knees and wails. In his emotional fit, he catches a sudden sneeze in his hands (likely from the Cat’s residual dander), the sight to Joan's displeasure. Larry desperately proposes, but Joan silently rejects him as she and Sally finally close the door on him as he's heard sobbing in defeat and failure. Larry then spots Nevins licking a splotch of purple goo and tries to kick him out of rage, but the purple goo Nevins was licking transformed him into a bigger dog and fights back. As the final embarrassment Larry's pants are ripped off and he is chased through the street in his underwear.
It's unknown what happened to Larry afterwards, though it's presumed that Larry was arrested and sent to jail for causing a public disturbance, if not likely to end up homeless from his debts.
Video game[]
Larry has taken the lock from the crate and decided to unleash the Mother of All Messes in the house. The Cat helped get rid of Larry and lock up the crate.
Quotes[]
| “ | Knock, knock, knock. Someone lose a dog? | „ |
| ~ Larry after returning Nevins to the Walden house. |
| “ | Hey, sport. Call me "Lawrence", okay? | „ |
| ~ Larry to Conrad when he's first greeted as "Larry". |
| “ | The military academy for troubled youth is what we salesmen call a win-win scenario. | „ |
| ~ Larry trying to convince Joan to get Conrad into military school. |
| “ | It's only eight hours away. | „ |
| ~ Larry telling Joan not to worry about how far military school is for Conrad. |
| “ | Conrad: I heard what you said. I'm not going to military school, Larry! Larry: Look, buddy, I know I'm not your dad. And this is probably really strange for you, you know. Your neighbor's dating your mom. But here's the thing, son. I don't like you either. But I'm gonna marry your mom. |
„ |
| ~ Larry admitting how he really feels about Conrad and his intentions towards Joan. |
| “ | And if it was up to me, you'd be in military school today. | „ |
| ~ Larry vowing to send Conrad off to military school as punishment. |
| “ | Sally, baby, angel, princess, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret, okay..... NOBODY LIKES A SUCK-UP!! | „ |
| ~ Larry showing his true colors to Sally. |
| “ | Good bread. | „ |
| ~ Larry eating Sally and Conrad's food without their permission and belching loudly, much to their disgust. |
| “ | Is there a cat in here? | „ |
| ~ Larry sneezing from the Cat in the Hat (who is clinging to the ceiling above him) shedding his fur. |
| “ | You’re repossessing my TV? | „ |
| ~ Larry as the repo men arrive to repossess his TV he was watching. |
| “ | You know, Nevins, when Joan finds out you've escaped again, Conrad will be moving out and I'll be moving in. | „ |
| ~ Larry verbally abusing the pet dog Nevins about his plans for the Walden family. |
| “ | Salesman: Welcome to the jungle! Want to buy the big one today? Larry: Don't do that. I want to talk to you about this TV. Salesman: Oh no sir, you don't want that one. We just repossessed it from some deadbeat. {Ironically referring to Larry} Uh, maybe I can show you a big screen. Larry: Yeah, all I can afford. Wait! Wait! What if I told you I want to put a little down now, somewhere in the two to four dollar range, and come back, and then pay off the whole thing in two weeks? Salesman: Are you planning on winning the lottery? Larry: Even better. I'm going to ask my girlfriend to marry me. Salesman: Wonderful. Larry: Thanks to this dog, her brat kid's gonna be shipped off to military school and I'm gonna turn his bedroom into a home theater. Show me the biggest screen you've got. |
„ |
| ~ Larry strikes a deal with a salesman at the TV store while bragging about his evil plans in a deleted scene. |
| “ | I can't believe you whizzed on my taco! Wait till Joan gets a load of you! | „ |
| ~ Larry getting angry at Nevins for urinating on his food out of revenge. |
| “ | COME BACK HERE!! I'm on to you, kids!! | „ |
| ~ Larry chasing Conrad and Sally after they get the Cat in the Hat to trick him into handing over Nevins. |
| “ | Larry: Not so fast, you little maggots! Oh, you are SO busted. Now get inside. Conrad: Trust me, You don't want to go in there. It's going to be a total... Larry: (cutting him off) Aah! |
„ |
| ~ Larry ambushing Conrad and Sally at their house and prepared to have them punished. |
| “ | Larry: Why am I sneezing? (Cat taps on Larry's shoulder. Larry turns around) Cat: That'd be me. BOO! Hahaha! Larry: You're a giant... (sneezes more)...... CAAAAAAAAAT!!!!! (falls off a cliff) JUDAS PRIEEEEEEST! |
„ |
| ~ Larry meeting the Cat in the Hat in person while sneezing before falling into the Cat's world. |
| “ | Larry: Hello, Joan. Joan: Lawrence, what happened to you? Larry: They happened to me: your demonic children. THEY DESTROYED YOUR HOUSE!! The house was alive, the wall was made of paper, I fell off a cliff.... and THE GIANT CAT!! The giant cat! Tell her. Conrad: Larry, Larry, you look terrible, and my mom thinks you're insane. This... is what we in sales call... a win-win scenario. Larry: Joan, you're passing off the opportunity of a lifetime, you know what kind of kid your boy is! I mean, who are you going to believe?! Joan: You're right. I do know what kind of kid Conrad is. He can be irresponsible... Larry: Yes! Joan:... he makes bad choices.... Larry: Yes! Joan:.... sometimes he makes me want to tear my hair out.... Larry: Yes! Yes! Yes! Joan: ...but he's a good kid, and I believe in him. Now, I'd like you to leave. Larry: Wha.. Joan?! |
„ |
| ~ Larry unsuccessfully trying to get Joan to believe him instead of her kids. |
| “ | Will you marry me, Joan? Oh, Joan, Joan, Joan, Joan! (sobs as the door closes on him) | „ |
| ~ Larry before he's rejected by a disgusted Joan and kicked out of the Waldens' home. |
| “ | Hold still while I kick the tar out of YOU! (Nevins growls and barks as he transforms into a bigger dog) AAH!! Oh! AAH! LET GO!! LET GO OF MY LEG!!! AAH!!! | „ |
| ~ Larry's last words as he's being chased away by a large Nevins while attempting to kick him out of rage in a deleted scene. |
Gallery[]
Trivia[]
- While Larry can be fought in the first playthrough of the video game, his boss battles in subsequent tries have him replaced with the Things.
- Coinciding with poor performance and reviews from both critics and audiences, Alec Baldwin was nominated for the Worst Supporting Actor award at the Golden Raspberries.
- It's revealed that Larry is allergic to cats. When he goes into Joan's house to make himself a sandwich, some of the Cat in the Hat's fur lands on him and he starts sneezing.
- Larry wears a corset to conceal his weight (which also correlates to how he hides his true colors from Joan). As he seemed uncomfortable when taking it off before feeling relaxed and free, it shows the health risks of continued, long periods of wearing weight trimmers and corsets: skin rashes, respiratory problems, and numbness of the skin.
- Larry's different attires demonstrate his true nature. The suit he wore in the beginning gives credence to his charisma, with it being implied he shows mild dislike of wearing it given his lazy lifestyle. His street clothes that he wears from then on gives away his freeloading ways and poverty compared to Joan being employed and wealthier, thus showing his desire to mooch off her.
- In his home, his suit is kept clean and properly hanged from a vanity mirror unlike the rest of his clothing strewn around, showing the false appearances he keeps around Joan and how he still thinks highly of himself. The only other thing that's seemingly neat is a side table near his windowsill, featuring only his phone and a large trophy award - highlighting his arrogance, it is very likely that he has the trophy by his window to impress anyone that comes near his house.
- His leather jacket and tank top further demonstrate his true, hidden nature, as he's not wearing the former in the privacy of his home, also removing the corset underneath the latter that hides his fatness. Even with the jacket, the tank is visible as the jacket is only zipped at the bottom. Additionally, the zipper is undone in his last scene (fully exposed when he exclaims Conrad and Sally wrecked the house), his true colors clearly evident to Joan.
- He wears a ring that resembles either a high school's "class ring," given after graduation, or a varsity/championship ring in sports. Coupled with the trophies in his house, his pompous nature, and his picking on Conrad similar to a high school bully, it is very likely that Larry "peaked in high school", feels important because of his past, and does not want Joan to know he hasn't achieved anything since.
- The colors of his clothes also correlate with his personality. Purple means arrogance and immaturity, befitting how he thinks he is better than others and, covered in purple goo, becomes emotional when Joan dumps him. Yellow is impatience and deception, given how he ushers Joan to get home and deceives her throughout their relationship. Green means greed since he wants to marry Joan for her money.
- In a deleted scene, while the Cat, Sally and Conrad pursue Larry with Nevins kidnapped, he encounters the repo truck, as well as the repo men from earlier take his repossessed TV into a TV shop called Safari Sam's. While Larry strikes a deal with the TV salesman about using Joan's money for a new TV, the Cat, Sally and Conrad manage to rescue Nevins, but were almost caught by Larry, so the Cat disguises himself as an animal rug. While Larry starts his deal, the Cat tries to hold in his painful suffering, but when he sees a guy on a pogo stick, the Cat couldn't take it anymore and knocks down the employees and Larry. Larry, angered at this, pursues the Cat, the kids, and Nevins out of the TV store and back into the street.
- Another deleted scene shows him after being rejected by Joan, exiting the porch while spotting Nevins licking off a purple goo splotch on the walkway. Upset at having no chance of getting to Joan's fortune, Larry attempts to kick the dog out of spite against his ex-girlfriend and her family. To his surprise, the purple goo transforms Nevins into a larger dog and allows him to fight back by ripping Larry's pants off, much to his shock and embarrassment. Nevins then chases a frightened Larry away while the repo men witnessing nonchalantly tow his car away.
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 Villains
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