|This scum Fiona Friend|
is driving Cruella insane!
IT MUST BE REWRITTEN OR ADDED TO!!
So sayeth the great Lord of Darkness Sauron:
or he will send Darth Vader to terminate you.
Fiona is living in the Midlands and Alan Blunt assigns Alex to stay at her house undercover. Only Sir David, her father, and his wife know the truth of Alex and MI6, but Fiona has not been told because her father doesn't want to stress her out, already labelling Fiona as somewhat of a control freak. Alex encounters Fiona the moment he enters a pool in her mansion, having been driven there by MI6, and is struck by Fiona's stunning beauty, she exits the pool clad in a white bikini. However, he finds that Fiona is like an iceberg - she appears beautiful and attractive yet she is very bitter and hateful towards others she deems inferior to her. Also like an iceberg, Fiona is sharp and stinging with her insults. She accuses Alex of being a "smelly city boy" and barely welcomes Alex at all. Alex dislikes her within minutes of meeting her, so much so he contemplates throwing her through a window or back in the pool, but is saved by Sir David, who properly makes Alex feel at home.
At dinner, Fiona belittles Alex, determined to find out why he is there. She is smug and arrogant to him, speaking condescendingly because he is from London and in her mind city equals stupidity. Alex does his best to be at home with the family, but the Friends give him the cold shoulder. David is at London almost constantly so he can't be blamed, but his wife and Fiona are obnoxious to Alex. Fiona makes Alex feel like scum by saying how much wealth she has and all the luxurious places she's been to. Alex is invited to go shooting, despite hating the sport. Fiona lustfully introduces Alex to Rufus, a swaggering brute of a kid who is Fiona's boyfriend. The boys laugh themselves silly at Alex's disturbed reaction to them killing game, and then when Alex says he's had enough, Fiona and Rufus direct him to a "shortcut" which in fact turns out to lead him almost onto the Moors. Alex is now hopelessly lost and angry, but then, to his dismay, he hears gunshots - the idiots have actually tried to kill him! Fiona leads the gang in pursuit to kill Alex, but Alex outwits them by hiding himself in a swamp, using plant tubes to breathe. Fiona finally realises she'll never get Alex and leads the gang home. Rufus stays behind and then Alex lunges at him, subduing him and throwing the gun into the lake after being told the proper way back. Later, Fiona orders Alex on a horseriding lecture. She sees it as a date but Alex sees it as torture. They go on a baking hot horseride, and Fiona berates Alex for everything he's doing wrong. She later uses exactly the same trick as before - telling Alex about a "shortcut" home when in fact it goes the completely wrong way, down an active train track into a pitch black tunnel.
Alex gets lost and hears Fiona's horse following him, expecting to see her come out laughing at him. But he sees the horse come out empty. He contemplates actually leaving Fiona to die but can't do that. So Alex returns for her and finds Fiona injured, with a sprained ankle. She is on the tracks so he gets her out... but the train is coming! Alex commands the horse to jump out the tunnel and into a pond. They narrowly escape the speeding train. Fiona is looking lustfully at Alex and apologises for being mean. She leans in to kiss him, inviting Alex to. But Alex now hates her (for attempting to kill him twice) and says he'd rather kiss the horse. Fiona is so insulted she avoids him until Eva Stellenbosch comes to take him to Point Blanc. She is about to blow his cover, but Alex uses a gadget Smithers gave him to knock her unconscious.
Fiona Friend was a spectularly spoiled brat, very lustful, narcissistic, vain and conceited, believing herself smug and protected because she seemingly had it all. She valued her own beauty and wealth and was very arrogant, and loved wearing expensive and revealing clothes like bikinis when at home. She was an avid swimmer and athletic, and, like all Conservative upper class kids, liked shooting. However, she belittled and misunderstood lower class values and abilities, and this would get her doom. Fiona Friend is a play on "Phone a friend," a Who Wants to Be A Millionaire option.
|Alex Rider Villains|