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|~ Quagmire's famous catchphrase.|
|~ Quagmire's second catchphrase.|
Glenn Quagmire (born Glenn Quagglechek) is a major character in Family Guy. He is characterized primarily by his extreme sexual deviancy. He is a major character from Season 1 to Season 7, an anti-hero/anti-villain from Season 8 to Season 9, and a major character again from Season 10 onwards.
Quagmire's creator and voice actor Seth McFarlane describes Quagmire as "an appalling human being who is still caught in the Rat Pack era". Quagmire is obsessed with sex to the point that he engages in every imaginable perversion, including rape, pedophilia, bestiality, incest, and necrophilia.
Despite being a pervert and hypocrite, he has also been shown to have a kinder side. He does whatever it takes to help his friends and protect his sister Brenda, who was often beaten by her abusive boyfriend, Jeffery Fecalman, whom Quagmire hated. Eventually, he was so infuriated by this that he murdered Jeffrey for his abuse against Brenda.
His sexual nature and lust for women is hinted through flashbacks of his life starting from infant stage. It's even hinted that he harbors sexual attraction towards his mother; when Quagmire is seen crying and his mother exposes her chest to breastfeed her son, during which Quagmire stops crying, says "O right!" and suckles from his mother in a lustful way. His mother Mrs. Quagmire apparently has the same sexual appetite as her own son. He also expresses an incestuous sexual attraction towards his own daughter Anna Lee Quagmire (whom he gave up for adoption as an infant to another married couple) After bidding his daughter goodbye, Glenn openly admits his perverted views about his daughter to Peter, hoping that when she grows up, he would "bump into her in about 18 years", implying he's hoping for physical contact. Peter is disgusted by this and reminds him that that is his only biological daughter he is talking about through incest fantasy. Glenn chuckles and tells Peter that he didn't change like Peter hoped for the better and bids the audience goodnight.
In another episode, Quagmire is one of two finalists of the TV show The Bachelorette, he takes his date home to meet his mother. He tells his mother to stop screaming at him, telling her that if she wants to participate in a three-way with Glenn and the bachelorette, she needs to change her tone after yelling at Glenn about Mittens, their family cat.
Quagmire is an extremely prideful individual, and despite many of the disgusting and perverted acts he has committed, is perfectly willing to chastise others such as Brian for things that he himself has displayed the same ignorance, such as his failure as a father, and when forced to own up for his mistakes, instead chose to blame it all on his past life and refusing to admit that he had some responsibility for the actions in his life.
- Ida Davis - Father
- Crystal Quagmire - Mother
- Brenda Quagmire - Sister
- Gary Quagmire - Brother
- Unnamed Unborn Nephew
- Abby - Niece
- Peter Griffin - Best Friend and Temporary Enemy
- Joe Swanson - Friend
- Cleveland Brown - Friend
- Lois Griffin - Love Interest
- Bonnie Swanson - Love Interest
- Chris Griffin
- Meg Griffin - Love Interest
- Stewie Griffin
- Brian Griffin - Archenemy Turned Frenemy
- Tricia Takanawa - Love Interest
- Donna Tubbs-Brown
- Loretta Brown - Former Love Interest
- Carolyn - Love Interest
- Cheryl Tiegs - Long Time Love Interest
- Jillian Russell Wilcox
- Tom Tucker - Ally and Temporary Enemy
- Kevin Swanson
- John Herbert
- Dr. Elmer Hartman
- Mayor Adam West - Ally and Temporary Enemy
- Seamus Levine
- Horace - Friend
- Carter Pewterschmidt - Situation Ally
- Brooke Roberts
- Brian Griffin - Archenemy Turned Frenemy
- Sonja - Love Interest Turned Traitor and Kidnapper
- Jeffery Fecalman - Enemy, Attempted Killer and Victim
- Michael Pulaski - Indirect Victim
- Bobby Briggs
- James Woods
- Liam Neeson
- Sheriff Nichols
- Three tough guys (Family Guy)
Quagmire has an extremely perverted and provocative nature, is a user of women, a serial rapist, possible pedophile, necrophile, and zoophile. Throughout the series, Quagmire has been shown to be madly in lust with Lois Griffin. However, all of his attempts to get her attention have failed, usually foiled by Peter and/or Brian. Quagmire is also an antagonist and a supporting character in the later seasons due to his deep hatred towards Brian. His hatred towards Brian has lessened and almost every time they interacted together, they remained neutral to each other.
- During the series, Quagmire had sex with Cleveland's wife, Loretta Brown. When the truth was eventually revealed, Cleveland wanted revenge on Quagmire. In the end, the two made amends and remained close pals, despite the fact that this led to Cleveland and Loretta's divorce.
- In "Blind Ambition", Quagmire was arrested for trying to watch Lois Griffin use the restroom.
- In "Jerome is the New Black" Quagmire unintentionally revealed that he had a starving woman tied up in his basement. This is one of the many examples of his horrible character. Strangely, despite all of this, Joe Swanson has done nothing to stop him even though he is a cop.
- In "Movin' Out (Brian's Song)", he killed the entire Simpson family after trying to have off-screen sexual intercourse with Marge. This was a deleted scene.
- Claims he has "complied with Megan's Law", suggesting he has a record of statutory rape.
- Engages in necrophilia. In "I Take Thee Quagmire" he asked Death to leave Joan's body with him "for another 5 minutes", and in a DVD-only scene in "Airport '07", he is shown jumping half-naked out of a coffin. In the The Cleveland Show episode, "Gone With the Wind", he dressed Loretta's corpse as a French maid and then had sex with her before delivering her body to Cleveland, showing he is not above nercophelia.
- Although Quagmire normally has a soft side for animals (cats in particular), he harbors a seething hatred of Brian Griffin. Quagmire despises everything about him, but has told Brian that he could forgive him for everything if he wasn't "such a bore."
- Quagmire has even physically assaulted Brian for unintentionally sleeping with his sex-changed father. His hatred for Brian is pure hypocrisy, due to the fact that two of the reasons he hates Brian is that he constantly hits on Lois and ignores his son, but the fact is that Quagmire stalks Lois and he has ignored many more children than Brian.
- It was eventually revealed that the reason for Quagmire's vicious actions toward women is because of a heartbreak from his one true love - Cheryl Tiegs. Ever since she dumped him, Quagmire has been dating women in an attempt to fill the void she made. Quagmire also noted that famous actor James Woods stole Tiegs from him, causing Quagmire to develop a hatred for Woods. Brian then went on a date with Tiegs in order to spite Quagmire after his education in Quagmire's class caused a woman named Denise to dump him. In retaliation, Quagmire tries to go out on a date with Brian's ex-girlfriend Jillian Wilcox, but this leads to a fight between Quagmire and Brian, prompting both Jillian and Tiegs to dump them, believing that both Quagmire and Brian have no respect for either of them or any other women. Afterward, Quagmire nods to Brian to tell him he can get into the car for a passage to home, but immediately drives away as Brian is about to enter the vehicle, and after leaving Brian alone, Quagmire returns to hit him with the car.
- Quagmire also has sexual interest in Meg Griffin. The most notable case is in "Meg and Quagmire", where Quagmire attempts to "move in for the kill" now that Meg has reached her 18th birthday. He slowly gains Meg's affection, and then eventually drives her to his cabin in the woods, where he attempted to have sex with her. Peter and Lois managed to stop him in the nick of time.
- While on The Bachelorette, Quagmire notably attempted to commit date rape by drugging his date Brooke's drink and attempting to drag her body to another location, only to take off with one of her shoes when he realized their date was being filmed. Later, when Brooke chooses him to progress further during the elimination round, a surprised Glenn makes a confession about the attempted date rape, though he denies it when Brooke asks him to confirm what he said.
- In "Hannah Banana", when Chris was trying to prove that the Evil Monkey exists, he set up a camera to see what happened that night. One of the events he captured was both Peter and Quagmire placing his hand in a bowl of water, causing Chris to piss his pants. Quagmire then proceeded to punch Chris in the eye before they left his room.
- In “Airport 07”, Quagmire was revealed to be trafficking women from Asia and hiding them in various places so he could have sex with them later on, including the trunk of his car and his garage. He later admits that he tagged the girls so he could find them in any case they escape
- In "Valentine's Day in Quahog", he kicks a woman out of his house after a night of sex, and she swears he will get what he deserves. Quagmire is then shocked by the woman's hair straightener (which he called her "electric tampon warmer"), which makes everyone see him as a woman. Then he decides to taken advantage of this to manipulate women who have been hurt by men to take solace in him.
- In "Brian's a Bad Father", he shoots Peter in the head (after Peter had shot him) so that they can return being friends again.
- In "German Guy", when Chris and Peter attempt to use Salsa music to gain attention to the fact that they're being held prisoner, Quagmire who was sleeping awakes annoyed and instead of checking where the noise is coming from he puts his "White Noise Machine" on, which literally plays the screams of terrified women, which calm Quagmire, showing that he takes comfort in sadism.
- In "Life of Brian", he is the only person in the funeral who does not mourn Brian's death and instead watches a video on his cellphone.
- In "The Unbrave One", Glenn Quagmire lied about being a doctor named "Dr. Vadgers", so that he could trick Francine into sending him nude pictures of herself.
The Cleveland Show
- In "Gone With the Wind", Quagmire had sex with Loretta's dead body, before delivering it to Cleveland.
- In "Beer Walk!", Quagmire asked Cleveland if he could have sex with his new wife, Donna.
- In "BFFs", it was revealed that Quagmire and Loretta were intimate more than once, as they were seen making out in the background of a framed picture Cleveland had of himself and Peter.
- Seth McFarlane has stated on occasion, that Quagmire's voice is based on the high-pitched, fast-talking radio pitchmen of the 1930's-40's radio infomercials.
- Lois is the only one of his friends' wives (not counting Donna), who he has not had sex with. In the episodes "The Cleveland Loretta Quagmire", "Gone With the Wind", and "BFFs", Quagmire had sex with Loretta, while she was still Cleveland's wife and In "April in Quahog", he tricked Joe into giving him his blessing so he could have sex with Bonnie.
- Aside from sex, Quagmire also has a passion for improv, a form of theatre which he takes extremely seriously, as seen in "Spies Reminiscent of Us", where he reminisced about how in his day, he was in such comedy groups as "Improvidence", "The Wackademia Nuts", and "Three Smile Island". As of that episode, he also joined his newfound comedy group, "Room for Improv-ment".
- Quagmire is half-Polish, with his real last name being "Quagglecheck".
- Quagmire harbors every STD known to man.
- According to a palm reading by Madame Claude, Glenn Quagmire used to be Jack the Ripper in a past life.
- In "FOX-y Lady", it was revealed that Quagmire was actually 61 years old. In order to maintain his youthful composure, he ingested multiple carrots in any way he knew how, be he eating them, drinking blended carrot juice, or inserting them anally.
- Quagmire hasn't been able to keep his body entirely undimmed by age, however. In "The Old Man and the Big C", it was revealed that Quagmire was actually bald and wore a wig.
- Despite claiming to be straight and vehemently denying being gay, bi, pan, etc., there have been very few occasions, where Glenn Quagmire has willfully engaged in homosexual behavior.
- In "The Blind Side", Quagmire had sex with an anthropomorphic turtle, who was clearly a male.
- In "Into Harmony's Way", Quagmire made out with Peter.
- In "How the Griffin Stole Christmas", Quagmire stared at Peter's manboobs, while talking to him at a party and lost interest in him, when the latter covered up.
- A minor running gag in Family Guy is for Lois to say something either intentionally or accidentally sexual and for Quagmire to chime in, quoting "Giggity." or "Alright!", even if he's not in the conversation or even a character in the scene. Such gags will feature Quagmire randomly showing up in a window or his voice being heard coming from offscreen, with no discernable source or clear indication of where he is.