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The Hero's Lover is the main antagonist of the song "You Don't Love Me Anymore" by comedy artist Alfred "Weird Al" Yankovic. She is the protagonist's lover who constantly tries to dispose of him in violent and obvious ways, though he is mostly oblivious to them and only during the song realizes that she does not love him anymore.

History

The protagonist sings about how he and the antagonist have been a couple for a long time, but have grown distant and their relationship has seemed to become more difficult. He remarks on how she "made it" with an entire hockey team, told her friends that he was cheap, ugly, and the Antichrist, and later disconnected the brakes in his car. It was then that he became suspicious that she did not love him anymore.

As time went on, she threatened him with a knife, put piranhas in his bathtub multiple times, poisoned his coffee, pushed him down an elevator shaft, and put a venomous cobra in his underwear drawer. However, none of these succeeded in killing him, and he remained in love with her and only a tad more suspicious of her feelings towards him.

He began to realize what she thought of him when she slammed his face down on a barbecue, set his house on fire, and pulled out his chest hairs with pliers. She then shaved off his eyebrows, drilled a hole in his head, and dumped him in a drainage ditch. None of this killed him, but he finally understood where her mind was.

He laments, telling her that she never acted like that before, but that he was finally confronting her and telling her that he has a feeling she does not love him anymore.

Personality

It is unknown if the character ever really loved the protagonist, but she clearly lost any feelings for him. She makes desperate attempts to incriminate and bad mouth him before moving on to attempting homicide. She is shown to be efficient and determined in these attempts, but they comedically all backfire and the dimwitted protagonist is none the wiser. It is also possible she is wealthy, as she is able to acquire dangerous animals, poisons, and tools regularly.

Gallery

Trivia

  • Despite the song being addressed to her, she never makes an appearance in the song or its video.
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