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| “ | Brickleberry is the worst park in the country. Fucking Auschwitz would get a better Yelp review. I'm here to turn this dump around and I'm not leaving until I do. | „ |
| ~ Jack Abowski |
Jack Abowski (AKA The Secretary of the Interior) is a one-time villain from the Comedy Central animated raunch-com, Brickleberry, only appearing in the episode "Old Wounds". He is a former friend of Woody Johnson, who he betrayed in the military and now works as the secretary of the interior of Brickleberry National Park.
Despite once being a man, Jack is now pretty much an involuntary transwoman. He was thrown onto a grenade, which blew his dick off and left a gaping big pussyhole in his body, which destroyed his testosterone and now made him female-passing.
Biography
In "Old Wounds", in honor of Veteran's day, Woody Johnson went to Hazelhurst Elementary School as a guest speaker and retold the story of what he did in the Vietnam war. He and one of his warmates, Jack Abowski, who was part of a group they called "The Red Skulls", slit their palms and clasped their hands together for a blood pact. Just then, a grenade dropped in and Woody flung Jack onto the grenade and saved himself. The grenade exploded on Jack's crotch and blew his dick off. This was the last Woody ever saw of him.
Woody held a Veteran's day party with all of his Red Skull vet pals, sans Jack and they drank up in honor of their fallen comrade. At this time, Jack landed in his helicopter, now being a dickless old woman who works for The United States Department of Interior. Jack game up to Ethel and asked to see Woody Johnson. He explained that he was the secretary of the interior, making him her boss' boss. Ethel seized the opportunity to get her boss in trouble for all of the twisted shit he's been doing recently and led him right to Woody, who was making cocaine angels with his veteran buddies. When Woody first saw, Jack, he mistook him for one of the hookers that was sent over by Jorge. Woody was very quick to fuck himself over upon greeting him and was even quicker to dig his grave even deeper. He sexually harassed him, implied he would assault him by punching him, and even offered him a key bump.
When Jack Abowski got to the ranger station, he set everybody straight. First, he targeted Connie for being a fat slob, who did nothing but drink coffee. He was so scary that he made Connie drop her coffee and pee. Jack sad that he had been in the ranger business for 15 years and had never seen such a sorry bunch of losers, such as this. Steve asked him what his name was and Jack just replied with "Fuck you!", leading Steve to believe that this was his real name and that he was a Korean woman. Jack eventually got down to the point and stated that Brickleberry National Park was the worst national park in all of America and that he was finally going to whip this pile of shit into shape. First, he was going to drug test all of the rangers, which led to Denzel immediately quitting on the spot. Jack finally went to target Woody, himself and threatened to fire him. Woody groveled at his feet and begged him to give him another chance. Jack Abowski said that when he returns tomorrow, he'd better see a change of else, there'd be Hell to pay. As Jack left, Steve bid her adieu with a simple but humorously hard-hitting, "Bye, Fuck You!"
