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“ | Hello? Uh, is this thing on? Cool. This message is going out to the round table conference. And a very personal and heartfelt shout-out to the Queen Bitch herself, Miss Hellsing! Alright! Your ass is currently being kicked by the Valentine brothers! My name is Jan Valentine, and I can't wait to meet each and every one of you. We'll be getting there, soon as me and the boys finish lunch. Let me be the first to thank you for providing us with all of these tasty snacks! By tomorrow, Hellsing will be nothing but a pile of shit. You've got nowhere left to run and nowhere to hide, 'cause now I'm coming to kill you. I want to see you cry and beg. In the meantime, I highly recommend pissing yourself, followed by a course of praying to your impotent God. But hey, there's always time to be a man and kill yourself! THANK YOU LONDON! WE LOVE YOU! GOOD NIGHT!! | „ |
~ Jan's message to Integra and her meeting room. |
“ | Right then, ciao. | „ |
~ Jan before his soldiers kill a Hellsing guard. |
Jan Valentine, along with his older brother Luke, is a vampire and supporting antagonist in the Hellsing series.
In the Japanese dub, he was voiced by Kazuya Nakai in the original anime, and Wataru Takagi in remake. In the English dub, he was voiced by Josh Phillips.
Personality[]
Jan is shown to be vulgar, ornery, rude, frivolous, hedonistic and one of the most profane characters in the show, constantly spewing vile comments about others. He is also perhaps the most obnoxious and aggravating, given the fact that he is often loud when he simultaneously speaks and cackles quite often, even in the face of defeat or death. Unlike his older brother who is usually composed and focused, Jan seems to not pleased with matters at hand unless he is enjoying himself by causing chaos and destruction. This and his appearance make him the complete opposite of his brother. It is implied that he and his family come from extremely poor background, as Jan said he will teach Integra what it is like to come up from the bottom.
Like most members of Millennium, he is extremely blood-thirsty and cruel, however, whereas most named members are actually scared of death, he is like Schrodinger and the Major in that he displays no fear at his impending demise, and even enjoyed it as it enabled him to mock Integra about losing a lead, showing he could even use his own death as another way to torment enemies.
History[]
Jan leads the attack on the Hellsing compound along with Luke using an army of ghouls. As Jan and Luke massacre a large number of Hellsing forces, Luke heads to battle Alucard. In a fierce encounter with Walter on who sent him, Jan unleashes a larger number of ghouls, this time of Hellsing members killed by him. In the round table conference room, Integra shoots Jan a few times in the head, then Montana Max having sensed his failure sets him ablaze, which Jan appears to be almost enjoying. With Jan's last few breaths, he gives the name "Millenium".
Due to the devastation of Hellsing in London in which Valentine Brothers caused, Walter and Integra were forced to hire mercenaries (fortunately for them mercenaries they hired are loyal to their contracts) in order to quickly rebuild their organization. Of the 86 Hellsing personnel only 12 survived: of those eight of them lived only because they were away from the HQ that day. So the only four to survive Valentine Brothers' raid were Integra, Walter, Alucard and Seras.
Quotes[]
Anime[]
“ | Luke: I thought he was encroaching our territory, turns out this card was the decoy from Britz's shop. Jan: If Britz is the traitor, why don't we just cap him? Luke: Don't be so stupid, Jan. Jan: What? Luke: The police arrested Britz last week. Jan: He got busted? Man, that's a mindfuck. Luke: Still, I don't think an ordinary cop would bring this card here, and risk his life so nonchalantly. Any thoughts? Jan: He was undercover, did he have a wire on him? Luke: He didn't have anything especially traceable on him, could be a sign he may have known what he was doing... Jan: Huh. Luke: (shows the cross to Jan) The only thing he had on him was this. It's from a special ops group, they claim to be experts in dealing with vampires and ghouls. Jan: Yeah, I saw them on TV. What's up with that shit? Luke: It's high time we stopped all of these territorial pissing matches once and for all. Don't you agree, Jan? Jan: Looks like we're going to play some war games, eh bro? Luke: But first, we're going to need a few soldiers... |
„ |
~ Jan and Luke having a conversation about a dead Hellsing agent. |
“ | (in a scared fake voice) Hello? God help me, please! There’s these vampires sucking everybody’s blood, it’s true I’m not fucking around! (Hangs up phone, in his regular voice) It’s true, I’m not fucking around. | „ |
~ Jan making a call to lure Hellsing operatives into a trap |
“ | Luke: You have no excuse to screw this up, Jan. Jan: Screw up? That's never gonna happen bro, this shit's gonna be a cakewalk. |
„ |
~ Jan with Luke. |
“ | I'm so fucking hard right now! We're smarter than you bitches and you can't stop us! | „ |
~ Jan during the attack. |
“ | Damn, that is some fucked up shit! Country with this much poverty and what does miss bitch spend her money on? These fucking overpriced cigars! Don't you boys think that's pretty fucked up? Of course think it's fucked up! Death's too good for him. I'm gonna fuck that bitch, shoot her in head, and then fuck her there! | „ |
~ Jan to his army. |
“ | Jan: Damn, I don't believe I let someone breathing on this floor. Walter: (uses string to kill Jan's ghouls) Oh dear, I missed! I suppose I'm not as surprised I used to be. Jan: Who the fuck are you, old man? Walter: Walter Dornez. Retainer of the Hellsing family, and Hellsing Organization member. Retired, shall we? Jan: Boys, kill him! |
„ |
~ Jan confronting Walter. |
“ | Jan: Shit, you're fucked, perhaps. Walter: (ironically) I most highly recommend pissing yourself, followed by a course of praying to your impotent God. Jan: Oh yeah, yeah. Fuck yes! That's just what I want to hear! I was getting so bored of these easy kills, pops! (snaps fingers) |
„ |
~ Walter making an ironic comment to Jan. |
OVA[]
“ | So this new friend, I mean he's like a real doctor but like does the cosmetic shit on the side, right? So then the same crazy fuck with the horns come back, but now he wants a plexiglass plate for his skull and the doctor fucking does it! He makes a window, you can see the fucker's brain and shit! This guy got a big monster horn in his head meat on display, the guy's a freak, I mean what the fuck?! Yeah, get it? | „ |
~ Jan's first dialogue with Luke. |
“ | Listen up, maggots! You know how the plan goes, you make the kill, you drink the spill! And if you run into Alucard or that Hellsing BITCH, don't you quit until they're DEAD! DEAD! DEAD! | „ |
~ Jan and his army entering the Hellsing headquarters. |
“ | Yo Luke, what up? You hear me now? This is your brother Jan Valentine, commander of the army of the undead Hellsing slayers. Oh yeah, letting you know, the first two floors are secured, now the flats take the third floor, crash the roundtable conference and kick the shit out of a little girl in a bun joke. | „ |
~ Jan calling to his brother. |
“ | Fuck, these are some fine cigars, like all bourgeois and shit. I mean come on, that's just fucked up! People starving in the world and she's wasting money on this? A slow and agonizing death is too good for that stick-over ass bitch, I think it's time someone give her an old-fashioned working class ass-kicking! | „ |
~ Jan to his army. |
“ | Lil' Hellsing chicky, we're comin' to find you. Come on out, and play Lil' Hellsing. I promise it's gonna be a lot of fun. We just wanna torture, kill you, maybe skullfuck your corpse a couple of times. Burn the house to the ground, go home and masturbate, okay? | „ |
~ Jan trying to draw out Integrra. |
“ | Now that's fucking great, cuz I gonna tell ya plowing through you people was really starting to BORE the fuck out of me! | „ |
~ Jan to Walter. |
“ | Get the fuck of me, fucking vampire slut! | „ |
~ Jan to Seras. |
“ | Jan: Is this chick the best you got? No wonders you all went down like a fucking bunch of pussies. Walter: I'll be asking the questions. What's the objective of this attack? Who are you taking orders from? Jan: Me? I'm just a tourist I was passing by, totally minding my own business, thought I have a look. So we cool, dude? Walter: Young man, the left ones next. Jan: We were following orders, all right?! We were told to attack the Hellsing headquarters and kill everyone we found inside. We were supposed to confirm the deaths of the roundtable and your pet vampire! Walter: Hold on, you're not the only one in charge here. Who else? Jan: Wow, you're quick! Right now, Big Brother Valentine is downstairs beating Alucard to a carpet stain! |
„ |
~ Jan being interrogated by Walter. |
“ | Me and my brother, we were designed with the sole intention of killing you fucks. You people are so fucking DEAD and you don't even know it! | „ |
~ Jan taunting Walter and Seras. |
“ | And now, for our next trick, check out door No. 3! | „ |
~ Jan presenting the room full of ghouls. |
“ | Oh, fuck me. | „ |
~ Jan before gunned down by Integra and the board members. |
“ | Come on bitch, you know the ones that put the fucking chip in me. Oh, the chip's sending information letting them know we fucked up, they could hear us talking, every last goddamn word. If they know I'm standing here all fucked up and dying about to tell you everything, you think they gonna let me fucking live?! See? I SO FUCKING TOLD YOU! Well, since I'm fucked, how about I piss a little wisdom on you dipshits?! You can take this clue and shove it up your ass, BITCH! | „ |
~ Jan taunting Integra one last time. |
“ | BEWARE. THE. MILLENNIUM! | „ |
~ Jan's last words, before turns into a pile of ashes. |
Trivia[]
- He shouts "Up up! Down down! Left right left right!" refers to the famous Konami code (Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start). In Contra for the NES, typing this code on the title screen gives players 30 lives.
- Jan sounds more British in the original anime.
External Links[]
Jan Valentine on the Pure Evil Wiki
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