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|“||Everything I touch crumbles down in this imaginary world. How many times I have to rebuild it?||„|
Kami-Sama or also called as Goddess by fans is the main titular delusional protagonist of the the 31st episode of Nihon Animator Mihonichi: I'm a Girl.
Being recognized as the main antagonist, she's a Meme Girl from an alternate universe. Girl is also a very enigmatic person and she has no references. She is believed to be a Goddess traveling on dimensions and transforming "rotten" realities and universes in beautiful places according to her own wishes and image; even if that includes killing all life in the process.
Girl is a powerful entity that was born in another reality. Being alone for too long, she had a distorted view of love, and decided to turn "rotten filthy worlds" in wonderful places what made her happy. She probably tried to experience something extraordinary by pouring beauty into the world, as shown in the first scene with the world and the garden.
Not experiencing the satisfaction of her own creation, she dropped into human world (our world) to see new sights. Unfortunately, the new world was also gray and monotonous, just like her last one. She made it extravagant like the last one, adding color into the lifeless world. But, to her dismay, she could not find the one thing to occupy the emptiness plaguing her heart. Then she sees Hana-chan and Syu-chan, the main protagonists of Me!Me!Me!, and she goes completely berserk. According to some forums, she was probably asking to herself "What is this?" "Why is she happy here?" "She has no power to create things like I can, yet she can smile in this dull, gray world..." "Why can't I make something that will give me what I want!?" (there are theories about her reaction):
- She is renegade Meme, a former servant of Fallen Hana in Me!Me!Me! (and at some point became a goddess) what makes her fell into despair when she saw Hanachan (as both looks similar).
- She saw a ordinary happy girl with a "simple thing" (Syu, in case), what made Girl entered in state of despair since she thinks that all living beings are unhappy.
There's one thing that no one can create, and that's love. Love for somebody else cannot be simply created with power. Seeing this, represents her initial shock shown in the video, leading her to reminisce about the encounter and her past actions.
As for what happened at the very end, she is crying regretting for what she did (she had discovered that was not necessary to destroy entire universes to find happiness, but a person to love). When she looked, she saw her Prince that was always going after her to save her from her own illusion and illness. She found her true happiness at the ending.
The video opens with the protagonist clad in school uniform on a beached boat, the shape of which is notable (you might probably already know what it is) and will be discussed later. Cue some cut-ins of her singing with her appearance changed to that of a sexualized magical girl, the buns on her head echoing that of the world-renowned Sailor Moon. This is a hint to what is to come — magical girls don’t exist in real life, they’re a fantasy, which is one of the main themes of this video.
The “upgraded” magical girl here is surrounded by items typically associated with femininity — makeup, a mirror, high heels. Men who participate in enkou often give expensive gifts of makeup, perfume etc. to the girls they date. It’s of note that many magical girl anime/manga series weaponize these feminine items, maybe because they’re also a source of empowerment for many women. After all, Sailor Moon’s henshin phrase is “Moon Prism Power, Make Up!” Speaking of moons, the moon is referenced in the lyrics as well as visually in the video, also a symbol of femininity. Her new costume is a skimpy, pastel-colored ensemble, with frilly long socks and ribbons in her hair. There’s an element of childishness to her design, coupled with the swirling galaxies in the background, yet she is very evidently hypersexualized, slim and fairy-like but with ample assets. This juxtaposition of innocence and sexuality links to enjo kousai — many girls who participate in this are schoolgirls and are introduced to sex at a young age. It’s a corruption of sorts that leads to confusion, the problem of being forced to mature too fast which results in… well, in many cases, personality issues and mental health problems such as depression.
The girl is followed by an eyeless cat, a reference to the token magical girl animal sidekick. Its blindness seems to reference the protagonist’s “blindness” as she creates her fantasy/delusion. She bites off a piece of an apple — she was surrounded by many in her boat — but doesn’t ingest it, it instead falls to the floor and erupts. The apple was the forbidden fruit of Eden, symbolizing knowledge and truth. Her refusal to ingest it is a method of denial, choosing her fantasy world over real life.
Her weapon of choice here is a star-shaped bubble wand. The first structure spawns by bubbling up from the ground and bursting — she later creates more fantastical buildings by blowing into her wand. This emphasizes the fragile nature of her fantasy — bubbles break as soon as they’re touched. There’s some flower imagery here with blooms and petals floating around the screen. On this note, flowers are basically the sexual organs of plants and denote fertility. Flowers, especially white, are also a symbol of virginity.
The world she creates is a psychedelic rainbow wonderland. Note the flowers in the foreground — the tips of the stamen are apples. Also they’re kind of phallic in nature. I’m not a hundred percent sure what this symbolizes, possibly just more sexual imagery or the idea that truth is “blooming” directly in front of her, struggling to be seen, yet she chooses not to notice. Still dissatisfied with the world she has created, she forcefully sticks her wand into the ground and spawns a somewhat grotesque vaguely human-like blob. It is incomplete and immobile, a failed imitation.
She looks into the distance while leaning on her creation and fantasizes of the typical Prince Charming — all in white with a pure white unicorn to boot. This fairy tale-like, childish fantasy is further indicative of her state of mind. The protagonist is still a little girl on the inside. The image of Prince Charming warps like a mirage, and soon fades away.
This results in the disintegration of everything the girl has created thus far, probably hinting at her realization that none of this is real. This is followed by non-explicit shots of her masturbating/making sexual expressions that indicate an orgasm. Her creation of her own fantasy world is “masturbatory” in a sense, as the act of masturbation is self-serving and also reliant on fantasy. Her orgasm is the trigger that ends the first half of the song and video. After a brief period of ecstasy, everything she has made abruptly crumbles and she is forced to return to real life.
She reappears on the same boat, which as you can clearly see is supposed to look like labia/a vagina. She is no longer floating on opaque sand but on crystal clear water, representative of her state of mind pre- and post-climax respectively. What lies below the water is a city, not the fantastical organic buildings she had dreamt up but, in stark contrast, boring, industrial, harshly geometrical skyscrapers and towers.
- She is seen as an alternative version of the Memes girls that in another universe are a bunch of psychopaths girls with serious mental problems. Many of them being sadomasochistic, crazy, perverts, savages, cannibalistics. And of course, being servants of Fallen Hana.
- She resembles Yuno Gasai in the position of God. Both are higher beings able to travel in other dimensions. However, Girl has more control over her own mind and make "lovely" things for herself, while Yuno make "wonderful" things for her beloved, Yukiteru Amano.
- Despite being based on the appearance of Memes girl, fans somewhat say she resembles more with Anna Nishikinomiya in Shimoneta to Iu Gainen ga Sonzai Shinai Taikutsu na Sekai.
- Girl would be a villain even more dangerous and heinous than Fallen Hana if she decided to destroy entire worlds for pleasure.
- Compared to other character in Nihon Animator Mihonichi, she is, by far, the most powerful character of the series.
- Like Memes girls, she was based on the appearance of Stocking from Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt.
- She bears an uncanny resemblance to Oka Nishizawa from Keroro Gunso (Sgt. Frog in North America).
- Official Website, Girl - Japan Animator: http://animatorexpo.com/girl/