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| “ | Kearney: Maybe we should hear a little. Dolph: And maybe you'll be hearing from my sisters. Jimbo: Your fists are sisters? Dolph: Yeah! Pocahontas and Sacagawea! Bart: Nice save. Dolph: Get reading! |
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| ~ Kearney threatening Bart Simpson. |
Kearney Matthew Zzyzwicz, Sr. is a major antagonist in The Simpsons.
He is one of the school bullies at Springfield Elementary School and hangs out with Nelson Muntz, Dolph Starbeam, Jimbo Jones and the Weasels. He is of Polish origin and is a fifth grader. A running gag is that Kearney is much older than all the other kids at Springfield Elementary, but she is many years away from graduating.
He and his friends even went so far with their actions as they try to make a stink bomb at the school and have tied up Bart and Groundskeeper Willie as hostages in the cleaning room in the season 19 episode: 24 Minutes, told Bart to jump off of a dam, causing him to nearly getting killed in the season 30 episode: Bart's Not Dead, and robbing the museum when hired by Principal Skinner in The Simpsons Game.
He is voiced by Nancy Cartwright, who also voices Bart Simpson and Nelson Muntz in the same show.
Biography[]
He often points out to the viewer that Kearney is much older than the other kids at Springfield Elementary, and he seems unashamed of it. One of his random Level-Up lines in Tapped Out suggests that Kearney stays in school simply because he can't be bothered to graduate, saying that school is an easy place to procrastinate. He has been seen shaving in school toilets, smoking, has a driver's license and owns an old-style Hyundai - Headmaster Seymour Skinner once tried to pry off the Kearney hood ornament to replace the 'H' stolen from Chief Inspector Chalmers' Honda. He is also on the church council (along with Marge Simpson, Ned Flanders, Agnes Skinner, Helen Lovejoy and Jasper Beardsley) and considers it an important part of the community and is a member of the NRA, attending their meetings and practicing at their shooting range. So, he probably legally owns a gun.
Kearney is under 21 and needs a fake ID to buy booze. He was in third grade with Otto Mann, and while Jimbo and Dolph were eventually able to go from fifth to sixth grade (just as Bart went from third to fourth), Kearney stayed in fifth grade and seems to have given up. some point.
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