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Mrs. Lana Lockhart is Chris Griffin's teacher and the main antagonist of the episode "Fast Times at Buddy Cianci Jr. High" of Family Guy.
Chris is instantly smitten with his new teacher, the voluptuous Mrs. Lana Lockhart. Chris asks his parents for advice on how to get a girl to like him, and Stewie gives him a condom, since he has heard about his relationship with his teacher. Lois tells him that he should be romantic, and Peter suggests that he should dress up as a naked spaceman to be spontaneous. When Chris shows up to class, Mrs. Lockhart is shocked and thinks he's being too impulsive. Lois is not pleased with this.
After she and Peter talk to Mrs. Lockhart, she finds out that Chris is in love with her. She promises Chris that she will be with him if he kills her husband, Ronald, though he cannot bring himself to do it, causing her to "dump" him. At first, viewers believed that Mrs. Lockhart was simply trying to find a way to let Chris down as harshly as possible to tame any more urges to come on to her. However, her intentions to murder her husband turn out to be genuine.
When Lois finds the teacher's written instructions in Chris's laundry, she runs to Mrs. Lockhart's home and finds the body of her husband, who had been mauled to death by a local bear, whom she had apparently asked to do the deed. Believing Chris is the killer, Lois and Stewie conspire to cover up the plot by dumping the body in the lake and bluffing a policeman. Back at home, the rest of the family treats Chris differently because they believe he actually killed Mrs. Lockhart's husband, until it is shown on the news that it was really Mrs. Lockhart and the bear.
In the last scene, Mrs. Lockhart and the bear are found in a motel, with Mrs. Lockhart all dressed up for a nice evening dinner while the bear is lying on the bed watching television. The two engage in stereotypical passive-aggressive behavior. The bear insists that he is not ready to go out for the night until he finishes watching his current show, then attempts to ameliorate Mrs. Lockhart's disappointment by rubbing her back with his foot and saying, "Love yoooouuuu." And with that, the episode concludes. Their current whereabouts are unknown, as neither has been seen since then with the exception of Mrs. Lockhart having a non-speaking cameo during the musical number "Peter is Slow" in the episode "Petarded."
- Unnamed Bear
- Ronald Lockhart - Former Husband
- Chris Griffin - Former Love Interest
Guest Star Characters