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Oh, I think you're gonna love it! It's just like summer camp, except with brutal forced marches and soul-crushing discipline.
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~ Larry Quinn to Conrad about military school
Lawrence Quinn (also known as Larry Quinn) is the main antagonist of the 2003 live action film adaptation of The Cat in the Hat. He is the Waldens' pompous idealist of a next-door neighbor who is determined to both marry Joan for her wealth and money and get rid of Conrad by sending him to military school. His real first name is Lawrence, but he is called Larry for short.
He was portrayed by Alec Baldwin who would later go on to voice Dennis and Makunga and had previously portrayed Nicholas Kudrow.
Larry sets himself up as an ideal, pompous real estate agent, but in reality he is a greedy and unemployed fat slob who is in financial debt and wants Joan Walden's money. He is arrogant, burps in public and has very poor manners. He is in love with Joan and wants to marry her, mainly because Joan is wealthy and has money. Larry is apparently also allergic to cats, as shown in the film when he sneezes in the presence of the Cat in the Hat. He also wants to get rid of Conrad by sending him to military school. In the end, Mr. Quinn fails at achieving his goals, but refuses to admit failure.
History
Larry first appears posing as a real estate agent, returning Joan's dog Nevins to her after Conrad gets in trouble for messing up the house. He also suggests sending Conrad to military school to straighten up his behavior, though Joan is unsure of the offer despite Conrad's misbehavior. Conrad overhears his conversation with his mother, saying he is not going to military school. Larry immediately displays his arrogance by verbally abusing Conrad but complimenting himself. He then leaves without a trace.
Later on, Larry is revealed to be an unemployed slob, as his house is in ruins and several men have his TV repossessed, much to his distraught. He finds Nevins running on the street again, and planned to exploit this to get Conrad in trouble once again in front of Joan. To that end, he confronts the kids at the house and shows his ugly side, making them see what a filthy slob that Larry really is. After stealing some beer and bread, he leaves and kidnaps Nevins, planning to deliver him to Joan, but the Cat in the Hat (posing as a hippie) tricks him into giving Nevins back to the kids.
He then sees that Conrad, Sally, and the Cat scamper off with Nevins as they attempt to hurry home. The Cat drags Larry into his secret place, located in a telephone booth, and manages to get him lost. He whines when he is unable to find them after exiting.
Larry then goes over to Joan's office and convince her to go back to the house with him to ensure that her kids were up to no good. However, they get pulled over by Thing 1 and Thing 2 (posing as police officers), and Larry decides to take matters into his own hands by walking over to Joan's house himself, telling Joan to meet him there. There, he catches the kids and plans to have them punished by their mother, but is surprised to see that the house is clean. At that point, the Cat personally appears to Larry, who sneezes (as he is allergic to cats), tearing through a wall and falling off a bottomless cliff, screaming, revealing the Cat's world and causing the house to be messed up.
Upset by the turn of events, Conrad and Sally decide to take full responsibility for what happened and face punishment, but fortunately, the Cat and the Things fixed up the house to its original state (much to Conrad and Sally's delight). In the meantime, Lawrence ends up surviving while being covered in purple goo after being flushed from the house through a small pipe. After the Cat and the Things leave, Joan returns home, only to see that everything is just the way it is. However, Larry arrives to the scene, furious at the kids due to the humiliation that he went through. He attempts to explain the events that occurred, but Joan doesn't believe him and instead tells him to leave, even tearing up the military school brochure and sticking it into Larry's sticky chest. This leaves Larry in tears as Joan finally closes the door on him. It is unknown what happened to him afterwards (though in a deleted scene shows him being chased by a mad dog while repo men are towing his car away).
Quotes
“
Hey, sport! Call me "Lawrence", okay?
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~ Larry to Conrad when he's first greeted as "Larry".
“
The military academy for troubled youth is what we in salesmen call a win-win scenario!
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~ Larry trying to convince Joan to get Conrad into military school.
“
It's only eight hours away!
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~ Larry telling Joan not to worry about how far military school is for Conrad.
“
I don't like you either, but I'm gonna marry your mom!
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~ Larry admitting how he really feels about Conrad and his intentions towards Joan.
“
And if it was up to me, you'd be in military school today!
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~ Larry vowing to send Conrad off to military school as punishment
“
Good bread!
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~ Larry eating Sally and Conrad's food without their permission and belching loudly much to Sally's disgust.
“
When Joan and I get married, Conrad and you will be moving out and I'll be moving in!
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~ Larry verbally abusing the pet dog Nevins about his plans for the Walden family.
“
I can't believe you whizzed on my taco!
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~ Larry's dismay over Nevins the dog urinating on his food out of revenge.
“
Wait till Joan gets a load of you!
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~ Larry promising the dog Nevins will be punished by his owner Joan.
“
Not so fast, you little maggots! Oh you are SO busted! Now get inside!
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~ Larry ambushing Conrad and Sally at their house and holds them hostage.
“
Will you marry me, Joan?
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~ Larry's last words before he is rejected by Joan and pushed out of the Walden's home defeated.
“
Joan, you know what kind of kid your boy is! I mean, who are you going to believe?!
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~ Larry trying to get Joan to believe him against Conrad's truth.
“
Sally, Baby, Angel, Princess, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret, okay? NOBODY LIKES A SUCK-UP!
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~ Larry showing his true colors to Sally.
Gallery
Larry speaking to Conrad.
Larry tries to persuade Joan by sending Conrad to military school, but fails.
Sloppy poor - mannered gross Larry, burping in front of Sally and Conrad.
