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| “ | You really have a vivid imagination. | „ |
| ~ Lenzuolo Pessarotta |
Lenzuolo Pessarotta is the protagonist of the 2009 Italian animated comedy series Il magico mondo di Lenzuoli.
Lenzuolo is a chaotic character obsessed with money, who possesses little to no morality.
He is voiced by a text-to-speech engine.
Personality[]
Lenzuolo is a deviant individual with no civic sense and a constant threat to society. He lives with a family that hates him, except for his son and occasionally his mother. He manipulates his son, turning him into a monster, and frequently deceives others and engages in gaslighting. Lenzuolo has no regard for the lives of others, whether people, animals, or children, and is willing to do anything to serve his interests, including using child slaves for profit and committing massacres. He often displays delusional behavior, believing that the end justifies the means—usually money. When speaking with others, he hides his true nature by acting like an idiot or trying to manipulate others into believing he is the victim and that his actions are for the greater good.
As mentioned earlier, Lenzuolo has no interest in the lives of others and is generally indifferent to everything except a lavish lifestyle, money, fame, and similar pursuits. He commits or orchestrates heinous crimes without batting an eye and remains unfazed by the worst atrocities he commits. He is also indifferent even when his own life is at risk.
Lenzuolo expects life to hand him everything and believes he is superior to everyone. If something threatens him, he either denies its existence—such as the law—or attempts to crush it. He is likely narcissistic, sociopathic, and psychopathic.
Biography[]
Lenzuolo appears in various short episodes where he does a little bit of everything. Initially, he is young and attending school, constantly causing trouble, threatening others, and cheating. Miraculously, he passes his final exam by manipulating the teachers. He attempts to get a driver’s license and fails but eventually acquires one, possibly through illegal means. He starts a family with a wife and two children, a daughter and a son named Lenzuolino. He often treats them poorly but shows affection toward his son.
In the early episodes, Lenzuolo is frequently searching for a job but often gets fired due to significant blunders, such as crashing a car into the office or arriving late. Occasionally, he plays the role of a fake detective/commissioner, investigating crime scenes illegally and attempting to solve crimes, often committed by two individuals: a chaotic, mustachioed assassin and a man in a green hat named Marco. Occasionally, Lenzuolo engages in normal activities like competing in a cooking contest or celebrating Christmas with his family.
During the final season, Lenzuolo unwittingly becomes the subject of a murder and attempted murder investigation. Meanwhile, he is fired from his job and, in anger, seeks help from the Forces of Evil, a black magic cult. After entering the cult’s secret room, a henchman performs a ritual that makes him a protected client of the sect. The henchman informs the leader of the new client, and the leader, knowing who Lenzuolo is, decides to handle the matter personally.
Meanwhile, Lenzuolo applies for a job at a flatbread shop as a janitor, but more qualified individuals try to take the job. After sending his son away, Lenzuolo contacts the sect, which eliminates all his competitors. Delighted, Lenzuolo attends a meeting with the strange boss, who is secretly an assassin. The leader, who speaks calmly and softly, permits Lenzuolo to do whatever he wants and even resigns from his position to make Lenzuolo the new leader. Now in charge of the flatbread chain, Lenzuolo faces competition from a boy selling lemonade. He has the sect plant a bomb to eliminate everyone except the boy and his mother.
Now in court, Lenzuolo's lawyer reassures him that it will take at least two years before anything is resolved. Together with the lawyer and his colleagues, Lenzuolo forms a political party called LPVDFL and, by lying constantly on TV, manages to get elected president. He decriminalizes certain crimes, thereby absolving himself. Now free from any guilt, the sect returns to settle the score, but Lenzuolo refuses to pay. In retaliation, the henchman kills Lenzuolo and his colleagues.
In the afterlife, Lenzuolo manipulates and lies to God, convincing Him to resurrect him for a second chance. However, the cult leader arrives and kills the henchman, revealing himself to be Lenzuolino, who had created the sect to make extra money.
However, the defense and the judge burst into the room, having been spying on Lenzuolo and catching him red-handed. Lenzuolino, following his father’s orders, shoots everyone, including their lawyer, enraging him.
In the end, Lenzuolo and Lenzuolino are seen sitting on a bench watching the sunset. The former cult leader arrives to ask for his job back, but Lenzuolo refuses, saying that life is not fair.
In the end, Lenzuolo never pays for his crimes and lives happily ever after.
Quotes[]
| “ | I don't know, throw it there, demolish it with napalm, set it on fire, take people as hostages, deal with the police and when they have satisfied your demands, kill the hostages, I don't know, invent something, I'm not the bad guy, find something and don't let me know that I want to have a clear conscience. | „ |
| ~ Lenzuolo during the call |
| “ | I'm killing everyone in this room, do you understand? [...] Come on, I was joking, you can't even joke now? I don't want to kill anyone, look, I know that someone's life is quite important." | „ |
| ~ Lenzuolo in court |
| “ | Lenzuolo: Oh no but it doesn't count if they record you, you can't even talk about your things that they then record you or you were accused of this and that by voice, and in any case it could have been anyone's voice. Accusation: You have just killed dozens of people to eliminate the competition, its-it's a serious crime. |
„ |
| ~ Lenzuolo in court |
| “ | Now you can't even give work to children who tell you that you are an exploiter, thank you | „ |
| ~ Lenzuolo |
| “ | Come on…They are children, they have no rights. | „ |
| ~ Lenzuolo to the Judge |
| “ | I don’t think that personal enrichment is a futile motive. | „ |
| ~ Lenzuolo to the Judge |
| “ | Hire more immigrants [...], then fire them and replace them with third world children [...], and while you're at it, buy some slaves too, but not the expensive ones [...], What a drag, you're incompetent, give me the phone number | „ |
| ~ Lenzuolo to his right-hand |
| “ | Lenzuolo:...Take your stall and go away immediately, or I'll split your head open! Mother:Hello, it's the mother, who's speaking? |
„ |
| ~ Lenzuolo before calling an hit on them |
| “ | I swear on the head of my father Satan. | „ |
| ~ Lenzuolo to a tweeking hobo |
| “ | I do it for my family, and for money, lots of money, but above all for my family, and for money. | „ |
| ~ Lenzuolo |
| “ | Lenzuolino: Dad, you said that the best gift is love. Lenzuolo: Yes, but it only works with family, you have to give real gifts to friends and relatives, otherwise they look at you askance. |
„ |
| ~ Lenzuolo to his son |
| “ | I wouldn’t be so sure about that. | „ |
| “ | Life is never fair | „ |
| ~ Lenzuolo last quote |
| “ | The law is stupid. | „ |
| “ | People are stupid | „ |