| “ | I hope you don't get a Wiggly. I hope you fucking die. | „ |
| ~ referring to Becky Barnes and the rest of the line. |
Linda Monroe (neé Murray) is a major antagonist in Starkid’s Hatchetfield Universe.
She serves as the secondary antagonist of Black Friday, and a major antagonist in Nightmare Time 2, specifically as the main protagonist of Honey Queen.
She was portrayed by Lauren Lopez.
Biography[]
She is a wealthy boating society president. Linda is married to a man named Gerald, and mother of Trent, Seaton, Jordan and River Monroe (two of them produced from an affair). She claims that she sees a vision of the Black and White. She really enjoys taunting Becky Barnes.
She, like many of the other characters in the main cast, arrived at the Hatchetfield Mall wanting to buy a Tickle Me Wiggly doll (or in Linda's case, four). She pays a man to skip the line munch to the dismay of Becky who says that she isn’t above everyone. After insulting Becky Barnes for her abusive failed marriage, she and the other shoppers enter the toy store. However, Sherman Young, a creepy middle aged man, wanted all the dolls to himself, which caused a riot to break out in the toy store. While the shoppers fight over the dolls, Linda flees and later encounters Uncle Wiley, who claims to be able to give her what she has always wanted: to be adored.
Linda takes up Wiley's offer and becomes a "prophet" for a cult of Wiggly followers and kills Frank the Toy Zone manager for being useless. She then plans to construct a portal to bring Wiggly into the real world and in order to do so, she claims to need a Wiggly doll (preferably four). In actuality, she just wants the doll for her children.
Her followers then kidnap Hannah, and Becky, in order to take the doll from her backpack, however when she sees Hannah no longer has the doll, she threatens to kill her. Before she could do so, Lex and Tom show up to rescue the girls.
In the end, she is shot and killed by Becky Barnes. Her lawyer then proceeds to call her husband to discuss the will.
Quotes[]
| “ | And that's why you disgust me - well not because you're so naïve, because you're so weak... OH STOP CRYING GERALD, I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU! | „ |
| ~ referring to Becky being abused by her ex-husband and her husband mistaking thinking it was to him. |
| “ | I dislike that word, Gerald, "cult". No, it's a new, exciting religion that I started! | „ |
| ~ a brainwashed Linda on the phone with her husband. |
| “ | As a pillar of the community, we can agree, I'm a bit of a mensch. It gets exhausting everyone looking at me, jealousy has a bit of a stench. But now I see, the light before me, it's a tunnel vision opportunity, to coax your love, and break your cold hearts down! You will adore me, I just know! You'll kneel before me, kiss my toe! I demand your love and worship too, if I don't get it I will end you. 'Cause I will be adored. You better adore me! I will destroy everything, and then I will destroy everything! I guarantee I'll destroy everything in my path, unless I get what I-- sh*t, it's Gerald. Hold on. That's good, don't say the sh*t part! That wasn’t it. Gerald, hello? Keep going, just don’t say the sh*t part! Gerald? No, no, guys, while I don't want you to think for yourselves, I still want you to know what I mean when I say my evil sh*t. Kay? You will adore me! You’ll kneel before me! I demand your love and worship too! If I don’t get it, I will-yell. Cause I will be adored! | „ |
| ~ Linda’s parts of her song “Adore Me” from “Black Friday” |
| “ | “Welcome to me, you worker bee! I'll show you 'round the Linda Monroe colony, where you're working to satisfy my ever need, the only way to guarantee the longevity of the species. You want it? You got it! That's the leadership I provideth! Keep yourself from getting too excited, ‘cause once I'm through with you, you're uninvited! You thirsty? No mercy. I'm the Deserving, unforgiving. I'm the succeeding, unrelenting! I'm the upper class bee you've been looking for, too much buzz around to ignore! I'm the queen biatch, queen of all the chaos, queen of all you love and adore! Top monarch, OG oligarch! Ruler of the Earth and its core, yeah! Vote for me, my babies, the time has come for you to show your loyalty. I brought you in this bourgeoisie society, but I can take you out it just as easily! I sold it, you bought it! Y'all built this throne for me to flaunt it! Now bring me the honey I've been looking for or I'll use you to wipe the d-d-dance floor. 2k per day is what I lay. Talking 'bout the haters I lay on Deaths doorway. You have 6 to 8. That's weeks to mate before you're underneath my boot meetin' your fate, 'kay? Shoot your shot. The tables have turned, have they not? You thought it was my audition, now I'm the one and only kingpin. I'm the-You thirsty? No Mercy. I'm the deserving, unforgiving. I'm the Succeeding, unrelenting! I’m the upper-class bee you've been looking for, too much buzz around to ignore! I'm the queen biatch, queen of all the chaos, queen of all you love and adore! Top monarch, OG oligarch! Ruler of the Earth and its core! Queen biatch, queen of all the chaos, queen of all you love and adore! Top monarch, OG oligarch! Ruler of the Earth, ruler of the Earth!” | „ |
| ~ Linda’s song “Queen B” from “Honey Queen” |
| “ | I hear his voice, I feel his power, I see his kingdom and his plans laid out for me. Oh, he's mine, mine, mine to follow his orders. Oh, it's my, my monument to build! He will wiggle, wiggle. Wiggly will wiggle tonight! Oh, he will wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle his way into life. I will wiggle, wiggle, wiggle my way to his side! And all will know when darkness comes over Wiggly’s kingdom that I’m the one who wronged what’s right! My God awaits! His cyclopian gateway! A portal that ushers in all sounds and sights unseen. Oh he’s my, my God to love and to worship. Oh it’s my, my job to prepare for his birth! He will wiggle, wiggle. Wiggly will wiggle tonight! Oh! He will wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle his way into life! I will wiggle, wiggle, wiggle my way to his side! Oh, the plans he has for you and me, me more favorably! The earth is looking good and ripe! We will build a portal just for- He will rise up with joyful noise. He’ll turn dust to ash and dust to ash and dust to ash and dust! When he comes, he'll come for us! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! He will wiggle, wiggle. Wiggly will wiggle tonight! Oh! He will wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle his way into life! Oh! I will wiggle wiggle, wiggle my way to his side! All the wills that he will have to bend when he ascends! The best of all fwendy-wends! We will build a portal just for- We will build a portal just for- We will build a portal just for when he comes! | „ |
| ~ Linda’s parts in her song “Wiggle” from “Black Friday” |
| “ | I've met God, he had nothing nice to say about you. | „ |
| ~ before slashing Frank’s neck with a boxcutter. |
Trivia[]
- Linda attended Hatchetfield High.
- Linda was born in either 1982 or 1983.
- Linda took Gerald's surname when they got married, but her maiden name is Murray.
- Linda and Emma Perkins know each other. Linda isn't a fan, but she hates most people.
- Linda has hated Becky since high school.
- It can be assumed that she verbally and maybe physically abuses her husband, Gerald, based on his reaction.