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|“||That's right... I do groceries.||„|
|~ Lois after beating up Peter and Chris for getting groceries.|
|“||Listen, I've never told anyone this, but I killed a jaywalker in 2002. She looked old, but she was only 51! I mean, back then, that was old to me. It's why I always talk and ask questions so much. When there's any moment of quiet, I think about her. That's why all mothers do that. Every mother has killed someone. Now drink your ginger ale.||„|
|~ Lois Griffin to her son Chris.|
|“||Oh, my problems? Oh, I see. Is this coming from my role-model mother? The shoplifter, the drug addict, the pornstar, the whore who let Gene Simmons and Bill Clinton go to town on her? Are you? Are you a better person? Not only are you not the perfect mother, you're the farthest thing from! From the moment you gave birth to me, I had to trust you. I had no choice. I needed you to protect me from the world to, to be my guide, to help me navigate the difficult, confusing, and vulnerable journey to becoming a person. You have done NONE of those things! You're my mother and you took a child's trust and smashed it into bits in a seventeen-year long mission to destroy something that you killed a long time ago! And honestly, when I turn eighteen, I...I don't know that I ever want to see you again!||„|
|~ Meg accurately describing her mother.|
Lois Patrice Pewterschmidt-Griffin (born February 18, 1956) is the deuteragonist in the FOX animated TV series Family Guy. Originally she was a protagonist, but as she became darker, despite being one of the protagonists, she does have several episodes where she has an antagonistic role.
- In "Breaking Out Is Hard to Do", Lois became addicted to stealing. When she was about purchase a ham, but found out that she didn't have enough money, she stole the ham rather than putting it back. And after she stole the ham, Lois developed kleptomania. Even though Brian convinced Lois to quit her addiction and return everything she stole, she attempted to escape from Joe Swanson when he found out but was caught and sentenced to 3 years in prison. After the family breaks her out, they uproot their entire lives, moving to chinatown.
- In "Brian Griffin's House of Payne"; when Stewie was both injured and comatose, both Chris and Meg, and eventually Peter, tried to hide the fact the he's injured by putting a hat on his head and telling everyone he's asleep. When Peter tosses an injured Stewie while Lois was backing up she accidentally runs over Stewie. When she thought that she "injured" Stewie, instead of taking him to a hospital, she tried to hide the fact the Stewie was injured by doing the exact same thing that Peter, Meg, and Chris did. To many critics and fans, this is the episode where she becomes no better than her husband.
- In "Jungle Love", Lois reassures a worried Chris that his first day of high school will be alright. After dropping him off, she honks the horn and yells "Freshman!", exposing her son to be victimized through hazing by students and Adam West. This eventually leads to Chris running away to another country.
- In "A Fish out of Water", Lois decides that Meg and her should have their own Spring Break. Even though she tries to give Meg the time of her life, Lois lets her younger wild side get the best of her and starts to party, and as a result, she consistently embarrasses and overshadows Meg, forgetting that the trip is supposed to be for Meg’s happiness, by winning over the favor and attention of the teenage party goers including Meg’s classmates.
- In "The Son Also Draws" she gambles away the family car. This leads to Peter to lying to get the car back and him and Chris nearly dying in the woods on a vision quest.
- In a flashback in "Ratings Guy", Peter and Lois were attempting to abandon Meg by leaving her outside the fire station.
- In "Friends Without Benefits", Lois tells Bonnie Swanson over the phone that she has left Stewie in the oven numerous times. Also in "Dearly Deported" it's said she put Stewie in the oven multiple times and dared herself to turn the oven on.
- In "Hannah Banana", when Chris was trying to prove the Evil Monkey existed, he set up a camera to see what happened that night. When he saw the video, Lois was caught stealing money out of Chris' wallet.
- In "A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas", Lois went on a psychopathic rampage. She wanted everything to be perfect for Christmas dinner. But when everything went wrong, Lois tried to remain calm, until, Meg told them that there was no paper towels. This caused Lois to go on a rampage throughout Quahog. While she was on a rampage, in two cutaway gags, she shoved George Bailey off a bridge and burned Frosty the Snowman alive. She even attempted to destroy the star on the town's Christmas Tree.
- In "Boys do Cry", she gets a job as the new organist at the local church, which causes her to force her family to start attending mass on Sundays. After Stewie mistakes Communion wine for punch, he drinks too much and throws it up, leading the citizens of Quahog to believe Stewie is possessed by Satan. When the priest wants to exorcise him, aided by everyone in town, the Griffin family escapes to Lois' sister Carol's house in Texas. Upon arriving at the home, Peter fits in well with the cowboys, but Brian is disgusted by the bigotry of the local residents. She soon hears that the search for Stewie has ended, but, since she was hoping to instill "new moral values" in her family she decides not to mention that they can go home. Later, before attending the beauty pageant that a disguised Stewie had entered, Brian finds out about the town calling off the search, from his girlfriend Jillian back in Quahog, and at the pageant tells Lois, who says she knows, which horrifies Brian.
- In "Go, Stewie, Go!", Lois has developed a crush, as well as a perverted nature, towards one of Meg's boyfriend, Anthony. After being scolded and driven away by Meg, Lois confronts Peter, accusing him of making her feel bad about herself which drove her over the edge.
- In "Lethal Weapons", when Lois was taking taijutsu, she started to become a bit of a control freak. She forces Peter to drop "them". After a therapy session with Stewie and Peter, the doctor recommend to become a more peaceful family. So Lois forces the family to never argue, nor fight again, but as a result, the entire Griffin family fought each other and destroyed part of their house.
- In "Stewie Loves Lois", she dreamed of killing her son Stewie, because of frustration that he gives her, and this nightmare causes Lois to completely ignore Stewie which this neglect results in Stewie injuring himself while trying to get her attention (which also caused Stewie to lose his newfound respect for Lois).
- In "It Takes a Village Idiot, and I Married One", Lois becomes the Mayor of Quahog. However, despite her trying to do good as the mayor by shutting down companies that polluted the lake, she quickly becomes corrupt and embezzled $600 to buy an expensive purse. And when she wanted to buy a fur coat that cost $4,300 she nearly made a deal with Bob Grossbeard that if he paid for the fur coat Lois would allow him to reopen his company and continue polluting the lake. Lois realizes the error of her ways and closes the pipe of the drain and resigns her position as mayor.
- In "Peter-assment", Lois doesn't take Peter being sexual harassed by his boss Angela seriously, saying that men like being touched and even makes jokes about it. This is one of many examples of her not caring about her husband.
- In "And I'm Joyce Kinney", it's revealed that, as a teenager, Lois pulled a cruel joke on a then overweight and possibly unpopular Joyce Kinney (then Joyce Chevapravatdumrong) in high school. Tricking her into thinking she had become part of the cheerleading squad (which Lois herself was the captain of), Lois blindfolded her, walked her into the middle of the gym, pulled down her pants and put a hot dog in her mouth. This was done in front of the entire school and everyone laughed at Joyce. Lois probably only did this to simply be nasty and had an evil expression while she was laughing at Joyce. In the same episode, she is revealed to have been a cocaine addict. At the end of the episode, she shows her porno, in church, in front of children, including her own.
- In "Bill and Peter's Bogus Journey", when Stewie showed her and Peter a drawing he made they made some nice compliments towards it, but after he left the room he overheard them laughing and making some insulting and vituperative comments towards his drawing. Later, she sleeps with Bill Clinton, whom Peter befriended, a friendship which nearly destroys Peter and Lois' marriage seduces Lois into having sex with him, only to be caught by Peter.
- In "Seahorse Seashell Party", she mistreated Meg, even blaming the bad things that happen to the Griffin family. Later, after Meg finally calls them out for their abuse, Lois fights with Peter and Chris instead of holding herself accountable. She also goes right back to mistreating Meg after the latter agrees to be the "lighting rod" of the family.
- In "Into Fat Air", along with her family, she eats Ben Fishman's frozen body, the son of Ross and Pam. However, this action is motivated by the survival instinct. She also didn't tell Ross and Pam about Ben's death, which led them to falling down a ravine and almost dying.
- In "Lois Comes Out of Her Shell", she pretends to be a young woman and begin combining pranks. At one point, she causes a car crash that kills two people. In the same episode, she attempted to cheat Peter with Justin Bieber, who was under 18 at the time. She also blames the whole thing on Peter and refuses to take any personal responsibility.
- In "Farmer Guy", along with her family, she takes part in selling drugs.
- In "Brian the Closer", she refused to spend the money to repair Brian's teeth.
- In "The Peanut Butter Kid", she and Peter forced Stewie to do a commercial, which tired him, and they kept giving him drugs to keep him active and pressuring him to succeed, as well as using Stewie's earned money they planned for his college fund for themselves instead.
- In "A Lot Going On Upstairs", she almost killed Peter, Joe, Quagmire, and Cleveland by locking them in the attic. She only lets them out because Peter pooped on her wedding dress.
- In "Hot Shots", she convinced the entire town not to vaccinate their children, and, because of her, 150 people died from a Measles outbreak. Among those who died was a young boy named Billy.
- In "Peter's Lost Youth", when Lois goes with Peter to Boston to a fantasy baseball camp, she reveals that the reason she was going with Peter is to get away from the kids, to which she calls them life-sucking turds to their faces.
- In "Love, Blactually", she and Peter didn't want Cleveland to reconcile with his ex-wife Loretta, so they conspire to have Quagmire have sex with Loretta again to prove she hasn't changed.
- In "Dead Dog Walking", while attempting to steal money from Stewie's piggy bank, Lois discovers Stewie to be vaping and takes his stick away. She later proves to be a hypocrite, when Chris goes to get Stewie's vaping stick back and he catches her smoking a cigarette.
- In "Bri, Robot", Lois is seen attempting to cheat on Peter with another man and is almost caught by Peter.
- In "Patriot Games", both Lois and Meg attempt to spy on Tom Brady when he was using the shower in the Griffin home to see him naked.
- In "Vestigal Peter" Lois learns that Peter and Chris had gotten groceries when they return home with them. But instead of being grateful, she physically assaults her husband and throws a can at her son's head, because she believes getting groceries was her thing alone. Peter argues with the fact that Lois complains that he never does anything around the house, but then Lois admits that she likes saying that more than she like Peter actually doing things.
- In "Throw it Away", after being inspired by Trisha Takanawa's book, Lois is determined to get rid of the things the Griffin Family don't actually need, but her attempt to remove the clutter ends up going too far and it causes her to become very obsessive and domineering over the rest of the Griffin family. It gets to the point where she throws out just about everything, including kicking the rest of the family out of the house as well, believing them to also be clutter "ruining her joy", only showing care about her own demented needs over the needs of her family.
- In "Prick Up Your Ears", she rapes Peter.
- In "Undergrounded", after Peter, Joe, Quagmire, and Cleveland are rescued from the tunnel Peter made, rather than embrace Peter for still being alive, Lois instead assaults Peter for lying to her about the tunnel in the first place. In addition, it is revealed that Lois murdered a waitress 20 years earlier during their honeymoon after Peter selected a waitress she could kill.
- In "You Can't Handle the Booth!", during a commentary on an episode of Family Guy by the Griffins, it's revealed that Peter was previously married to Sarah Paulson (hence his higher salary to pay alimony). While Lois is justified in being angry that Peter lied about his salary and covering up his previous marriage, it was actually due to the fact that Peter is uncomfortable around Sarah to an extent (as she yelled at everybody to be quiet when her character was doing her scene). Before Lois learns about why Peter's marriage ended, her increased irritability after Peter complains about their sex life (when he's drunk), Lois lashes out and reveals that she had another affair (separate from Clinton), with Phillip Seymour Hoffman, and that Hoffman may actually be Chris' biological father. She restates this while mockingly laughing, before arrogantly and narcissistically saying that she deserves better than Peter for being "Dishonest and disrespectful", when Lois honestly isn't any better, and has on occasion done worse than Peter. Peter may've withheld and covered up information, but Lois is delusional if she believes that she deserves better, due to her own history of heinous acts.
- In "Episode 420" Lois criticizes Brian after being arrested for possession of cannabis, saying "It's illegal for a reason". Brian points out that she's being a hypocrite as she smoked cannabis before and as revealed in "Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington" and "Tom Tucker: The Man and His Dream" she had even done it during her second and third pregnancies, which is likely what resulted in Chris' low intelligence and occasional anger issues and Stewie's evil and matricidal nature.
- In "Peter's Two Dads", Lois angrily slaps Stewie after he broke her pearl necklace, causing him to cry and briefly traumatizing him (to which he imagines an exaggerated take of the incident).