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Michael Deets

Michael Deets was a serial killer featured in the South Park episode "Cartman's Incredible Gift". He has apparently murdered 18 people, including the school bus driver Ms. Crabtree and her pet bird and removed their left hands. At the sight of each murder he would be in a blood splattered rain coat and pretend to be molested by a mannequin whom he pretended was his mother while wearing a pair of yellow panties.


No one except Kyle suspected him of the murders (sue to the sheer idiocy of the townspeople) and Cartman's visions caused other people to be arrested instead. He is also apparently the biggest serial killer to ever haunt the town of South Park.

Eventually he grows tired of not being credited for his murders and abducts Cartman from his home and forces him to watch sideshow of places he's been to, soon officer Yates enters his house and questions him about the murders where he announces himself as Mr. "God". Inside the house Yates fails to notice Cartman tied to the chair and carries on only at the last second catching site of his collection of severed left hands and prepares to arrest him, but changes his mind when he thinks they are right hands and lets him go.

After a while, Yates discovers that left hands can look like right hands when turned around so he does a bunch of research about hands occasionally slacking off and forgetting what he's doing. Eventually he finds out that they really were left hands and goes back to Deets' house, at this time his slideshow is over and he prepares to kill Cartman. But at this point Yates and his partner arrive, Cartman notices and tell him (Deets) he will kill him with his "psychic powers", Deets leaps out at the police with a knife and they shoot him dead. Then Yates shoots him in the head a few additional times, just because.


Deets appears to highly mentally unstable. He sometimes poses as a woman, and pretends that a mannequin is his mother, who apparently sexually abused him. He appears to enjoy his killings, evidenced by his smiling while preparing to kill Cartman.

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