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| “ | I SMOKED CRACK ONE! ... But it wasn't my fault. My pillow made me do it! | „ |
| ~ Michael Lindell |
Michael James Lindell is a recurring villain from Season 4 of the Netflix original series, Paradise P.D.. He is a depiction of the real-life millionaire founder of MyPillow and alt-right conspiracy theorist. In the show, he is portrayed as a crack-addled lunatic, who likes to do various sexual things with his mother's corpse.
He is voiced by John DiMaggio.
Biography[]
In "A Star is Porn", Michael Lindell had a meeting with Karen Crawford, regarding the expansion of his company, MyPillow to have a new headquarters built in Paradise, helping benefit both his company's reach and Paradise's gentrification. Michael Lindell introduced himself and his pillow and expected Karen to greet his pillow as well. Thinking it was a bit odd but still wanting to be nice to him, Karen welcomed "Mr. Pillow" to the meeting as well. When Karen started talking business, Michael Lindell randomly blurted out in the middle of the conversation how he smoked crack once but insisted that it wasn't his fault, as he was forced to do the illegal drugs by his pillow. Karen told Mike that she didn't have any problem with his record and was willing to let him move business to Paradise, even offering him sexual favors in exchange. Michael was repulsed by Karen's coming on to him and called her "sick". Karen's pervaciousness was a deal-breaker for Michael, so he took his pillow back to his mother's coffin to masturbate with. An ad then came up on screen advertising how the show Paradise Party Dudes was brought to you by MyPillow, where their motto is "Fuck it in your mother's coffin".
Later in the episode, it appeared that Michael Lindell's excuse of blaming his crimes on his pillow had caught on with other members of the criminal community, as R. Kelly showed up at a pedophile convention, claiming that his MyPillow forced him to come there.
In "The Startist", Michael Lindell returned, alongside several other CEOs and plutocrats to meet Charles Lovely at an art museim, where they discussed how they haven't seen each other since their last infant blood harvest/keg party.
In "The Eternal Reckoning", Michael Lindell gathered with his cult of fellow corrupt businessmen, such as Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, and Jeff Bezos on the roof of Lovely Corp, led by none other than Charles Lovely, himself. They all gathered around Baby Kevin and used their ethereal powers to absorb his soul and give themselves eternal life, before Gina came in and stopped them, by putting up a fight. During the fight, Michael Lindell combated Lenny the Laser Lizard with his pillow and tried to smack him with it. Lenny zapped the pillow with his laser and broke it into little crack rocks. Astonished that his pillow was made of crack, Michael Lindell collapsed on the floor and started snorting it, incapacitating himself for the remainder of the battle.
