| “ | I want you to be my helpmate. As Tarzan had his Jane, as Napoleon had his Josephine, as Frankie Laine had whoever he had. I want you to help me in my plan to dominate the world! | „ |
| ~ Mr. Neutron pledging his love to Mrs. SCUM |
Mr. Neutron is the titular main antagonist of the episode-length Monty Python sketch "Mr. Neutron". He is an alien who infiltrates a London suburb so he can take over the world.
He is portrayed by the late Graham Chapman, who also portrayed God and one of the Three-Headed Giant's heads in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Biggus Dickus in Monty Python's Life of Brian, and one of the Paramedics in Monty Python and the Meaning of Life.
Overview[]
Mr. Neutron first appears in a London suburb, having arrived there from an unknown alien planet. Even though he is comically out of place - he speaks in an emotionless monotone, has superhuman powers and semi-openly uses space-age technology, and wears a shirt emblazoned with his own name, written in crude black marker - he is immediately and unquestioningly accepted by his dim-witted, middle-class neighbors.
The narrator of the sketch identifies him as "the most dangerous man in the world" and ascribes powers to him such as destroying galaxies with his wrist and tearing fruit machines apart with his eyeballs. Until the very end of the sketch, however, he is never shown doing anything dangerous or superhuman, and in fact spends his time doing such innocuous things as having tea with his neighbors and helping them with their household chores.
While Mr. Neutron supposedly advances his evil plan (despite not actually doing anything), the U.S. Government tries to track him down with the help of CIA agent Teddy Salad, a master of disguise who is currently undercover as a Yukon sled dog.
In "Mr. Neutron"[]
While advancing his plan, Mr. Neutron falls in love with a cleaning lady named Linda SCUM, whom he calls "Mrs. SCUM" or "Mrs. S", refusing to call her by her first name. He tells her that he has won a Kellogg's Corn Flakes competition and can have as his prize either £5000 or a lifetime supply of ice cream; he says that he wants to choose the ice cream, as "it has been hot lately". When Mrs. SCUM protests, Mr. Neutron tells her that he has no need for money because he is an all-powerful extraterrestrial being. He then asks her to be his mate and rule the world at his side (provided that she is not Jewish). She happily accepts, and he uses his powers to transform her into a well-dressed socialite.
Meanwhile, the U.S. government is so terrified of Mr. Neutron that the Supreme Commander of Land, Sea and Air Force insists on indiscriminately bombing any country that he could conceivably be, killing million of people. By the time the Commander's right-hand man, Captain Carpenter, finds Salad and learns Mr. Neutron's location, a bombing raid kills them both.
A BBC program planner interrupts the sketch and says that the ending was too expensive to film, so he describes it as an apocalyptic series of explosions that kill everyone on Earth except for Mr. Neutron and Mrs. SCUM, who escape into outer space.
Trivia[]
- Mr. Neutron is a parody of the extraterrestrial villains of 1950s science fiction films.