| “ | Mr. Speederman explained that yes, the spider cap was the most cutting-edge hat wear money could buy. The pear looked around the store to find a number of particularly fashionable patrons wearing spider caps as well. | „ |
| ~ Creepy Pasta describing Mr. Speederman convincing Pear to buy his spider cap |
| “ | Soon Pear began to feel strange. He felt a slight itch on his back and so he scratched it. At that moment he realized he was scratching his own back. This of course was surprising to him, because he had no limbs. He rushed to a mirror only to discover that he had sprouted a long, hairy spider leg out of his body, then another and another. As Pear gazed into the mirror, he saw that he no longer had two eyes, he was growing additional eyes by the second. He again asked the shopkeeper if this was typical. The shopkeeper replied yes, everything happening to the young pear was covered in the contract he had signed. | „ |
| ~ Creepy Pasta revealing Mr. Speederman's true nature |
Mr. Speederman is a minor antagonist in the Annoying Orange episode, "Creepy Pasta #2", acting as the in-universe main antagonist of Creepy Pasta's third creepypasta, "Spider Cap". He is the shady owner of a hat shop called "Speederman & Co. Hat Shoppe & Millenery", which he uses to sell mutant spiders as fashionable headwear to other foods. His story was narrated by Creepy Pasta, who was voiced by Jon Bailey, the current voice of Grapefruit.
Appearance[]
Mr. Speederman is a rambutan fruit wearing a top hat and a pair of round black completely obscuring his face. He's also noticeably covered in cobwebs under his body.
Biography[]
One day, a fashion-obsessed Pear went to visit a fancy new hat shop in town he heard about called "Speederman & Co. Hat Shoppe & Millenery". After excitedly entering the store, Pear sees a ton of different exotic types of hats across the shelves, some of which he couldn't even imagine. Across the store from the checkout, the owner of the establishment, Mr. Speederman, spied on Pear as he browsed the shop's large selection of hats. Mr. Speederman then approaches Pear to ask him if he wanted to take a look at the most expensive item in his shop. Pear then becomes intrigued and confused when Mr. Speederman presents him a cylindrical box with what appear to be air holes punched at the top of the lid, but quickly shows excitement when Mr. Speederman explains that the hat within was really popular in Paris and Milan.
Pear excitedly opens the box, only to find a large, hairy, living spider under the lid. After Pear asked if the spider was a hat, Mr. Speederman explains to him that the spider cap was indeed the most state-of-the-art hat that money could buy. Pear then looks around the store and finds a number of other fashionable customers wearing the spider caps on their heads. Scared that he could be missing out on an innovative new trend, Pear proceeds to hand over a large sum of cash to Mr. Speederman for the hat and signs a contract before proudly placing the spider cap onto his head.
Immediately after putting on his new spider cap, Pear becomes shocked when the spider cap bites its fangs deep down into his head. Mr. Speederman then explained to him that it was normal and was simply to keep the spider cap secured and prevent it from blowing off in the wind, after which Pear looks around to find all the other spider caps biting down on their owners' heads the same way.
Pear soon begins to feel strange. Pear notices a slight itch on his back and begins to scratch it, at which point he suddenly realized he didn't have any limbs to scratch it with. After rushing to a mirror, Pear discovers to his horror that he had grown a long hairy spider leg out from his body, before seven more suddenly and brutally sprout out as well. While still looking at the mirror, Pear notices he had extra eyes suddenly growing on his face by the second. Pear asks Mr. Speederman if this was normal, to which he replies that everything that was happening to Pear had been covered in the contract he had signed without question. Pear attempts to open his mouth to reply, only for his tongue to suddenly turn into mandibles as he continues to painfully transform into a spider, eventually shrinking down to the size of one. Pear tries rushing towards the door to escape, only for Mr. Speederman to easily catch up with him and trap him in the same box he had received his spider cap from. Inside the box, Pear hears voices from outside, realizing a new customer had entered the shop to ask for a new spider cap from Mr. Speederman, repeating the process he put Pear and the other patrons through.
Trivia[]
- Mr. Speederman's name is a pun on the famous Marvel superhero Spider-Man.
- Of the antagonists featured in Creepy Pasta's in-universe stories, Mr. Speederman is arguably the most monstrous, as he mutilates his many patrons by selling them mutant spiders as hats, which proceed to bit down on them and painfully transform into spiders themselves, and it's implied that this is normal for him given how casually repeats the process after capturing Pear.
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 Villains
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