| “ | ...Alright, ALRIGHT. Alright you go AHEAD. You go ahead you keep it secret! But you remember this!! When you control the mail, you control... information! | „ |
| ~ Newman's rant in response to Jerry declining Newman's request to borrow a lip reader in "The Lip Reader". |
| “ | Of COURSE! Take your time!!! I'll be here.~ MAAHAHAHA!!!! | „ |
| ~ Newman's response to Elaine's indecisive response to kidnapping a dog in "The Engagement". |
| “ | "Coy"? I'm not being coy. | „ |
| ~ Nerman being sarcastic and duplicitous about playing coy over where Kramer went in "The Keys". |
| “ | (George): You're supposed to deliver my calzones we had a DEAL! (Newman): I BELIEVE the deal! Was that I get your calzones on my route, well today I won't be going on my route! WILL I!? Perhaps tomorrow. (George): ...BUT I'M PAYING YOU!! (Newman): Yes thank you. (George, stunned): Wh- |
„ |
| ~ Newman betrays and swindles a check from George in "The Calzone". |
| “ | ALL RIGHT! But hear me and hear me well! The day will come, oh yes, mark my words, Seinfeld! Your day of reckoning is coming, when an evil wind will blow through your little playworld and wipe that smug smile off your face! And I'll be there! IN ALL MY GLORY, WATCHING! Watching as it all comes crumbling down! THAHAHA! AHAAAH!! | „ |
| ~ Newman's villainous breakdown as he swears revenge on Jerry Seinfeld in Season 9 "The Finale". |
Newman is the main antagonist of the NBC sitcom Seinfeld.
He is the series' titular main protagonist's arch-nemesis, and is often a scheming & treacherous mailman. Although he isn't really considered evil (for the most part), he is the closest thing the show has to a main villain, even having a despicable and evil laugh. In saying that, however, sometimes he can be heroic if not having a neutral role. He is often reading other people's mail, annoying Jerry in some way or form, hanging out with Kramer often and eating Chunky Bars.
He was first voiced by Seinfeld's co-creator Larry David in an offscreen cameo in the episode "The Revenge". For the rest of the series he was portrayed by Wayne Knight, who also portrayed Dennis Nedry in Jurassic Park, and later did the voices for Al McWhiggin in Toy Story 2, Emperor Zurg on Buzz Lightyear of Star Command, Jong Sung in Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness,The Penguin in Harley Quinn, Jack O'Lantern from The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, and Krudsky in Scooby-Doo and The Goblin King.
Biography[]
| “ | (George): Lemme you ask something, like what do you do for a living? (Newman): I'm a United States postal worker. (George): Aren't those the guys that always go crazy and come back with a gun and shoots everybody? (Newman): Sometimes... (Jerry): And WHY is that? (Newman): Because the mail never STOPS! It just keeps coming and, coming and, coming- there's never a letup it's relentless! Everyday it piles up more and more and more but you gotta get it out, but the more you get it out- there more it keeps coming in! And then the barcode reader breaks! AND THEN IT'S PUBLISHER'S CLEARINGHOUSE DAY!!! (Jerry): Alright alright alright! Just take the records they're in the bedroom! Take them take anything you want. (Newman high-fives Kramer) |
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| ~ Newman explaining how much his routine for his job drives him insane in "The Old Man". |
Newman lived in apartment 5E, which was directly down the hall from Jerry's apartment, 5A. However, there were many inconsistencies regarding who lived in 5E. In the Season 7 episode "The Engagement", Newman's apartment is 5E. In the Season 9 episode "The Strong Box", long after Newman's character was established, another man, named Phil, is seen entering 5E.
| “ | Jerry: Hello, Newman. Newman: Hellooooo... Jerry. |
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| ~ Newman and Jerry greeting each other. |
Newman was created as a counterpart to the Jerry character, though the reason for their animosity is never revealed. Seinfeld once described Newman as Lex Luthor to his Superman. Knight has described him as "pure evil", as did Jerry.
| “ | (Newman scatting a song): I'm taking a- *opens the door* Hello... What's this? (Costanza): Well I was dropping off the calzone money for the week and... Shouldn't you be at work by now? (Newman): "Work"? It's raining. (Costanza, confused): ...So?? (Newman): I called in sick, I don't work on the rain. (Costanza): You don't work in the rain? You're a "mailman", neither rain or sleep it's- IT'S THE FIRST ONE! (Newman): I was never that big on creeds. (Costanza): You're supposed to deliver my calzones we had a DEAL! (Newman): I BELIEVE the deal! Was that I get your calzones on my route, well today I won't be going on my route! WILL I!? Perhaps tomorrow. (Costanza, holding a check to him): ...BUT I'M PAYING YOU!! (Newman, takes the check from George's hand): Yes thank you. (Costanza, stunned): Wh- |
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| ~ Newman betraying George's deal and swindling him in "The Calzone". |
Newman takes his job as a mailman with pride and passion to the point of fixation and obsession in gaining any form of intelligence and info that Newman keeps, but paradoxically, is also portrayed as a lazy worker with such habits as not working when it is raining or hiding bags of mail in Jerry's basement storage locker rather than delivering them. Despite such clear lack of respect for mail, he nevertheless impulsively protests the idea of any mail being considered "junk". He is sometimes known to use his job for corrupt purposes, such as purposely withholding mail (often utility bills or the like) for blackmail revenge, or using the Union to get himself out of jail, and he spends a lot of his time reading other people's mail without their consent.
There are a couple of episodes where Newman serves other roles than Jerry's enemy and Kramer's friend. He collaborated with George Costanza in The Calzone in an attempt to find another way to get a calzone to George Steinbrenner. He fell in love with Elaine for a few episodes, but the incident ends in "The Reverse Peephole", in which Elaine Benes tries to get a fur coat back for Joe Mayo.
As Kramer puts it in the episode "The Reverse Peephole", Newman can climb trees "like a ring-tailed lemur", a skill that he claims to have learned in the Pacific Northwest. Despite his girth, Newman is a "fantastic" tennis player and a nimble runner. He is seen running athletically in several episodes. In the finale Newman claims to be one quarter French. In "The Label Maker", Jerry even agrees with George that Newman is "merry", which appeared to be a compliment of sorts.
Appearance[]
He is a rather portly man with fair skin, puffy black hair, nerdy spectacles and sports a palette shirt with black pants.
He sometimes sports on a variety of outfits such as a coat, short-sleeved shirts, a gray sweater, a white shirt with black suspenders and a light-brown tie.
Personality[]
Seinfeld - Newman laughter
Newman's signature evil laugh.
| “ | Elaine: Perhaps there's more to Newman than meets the eye. Jerry: No, there's less. Elaine: It's possible. Jerry: No, it isn't. I've looked into his eyes. He's pure evil. |
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| ~ Jerry and Elaine about Newman for ending a relationship with his ex Margret in "The Big Salad". |
Newman's role is primarily as a greedy, sleazy, conniving, sophisticated, charismatic, extravagant, egotistical, unscrupulous, ambitious, somewhat eccentric, mail-obsessed villain/enemy to Jerry and a collaborator in Cosmo Kramer's elaborate and bizarre schemes. Often described as Jerry's "sworn enemy" due to Newman obsessing in finding any moment to win and defeat him ("The Andrea Doria"), and however, despite this Newman is such a schemer to the point of being truly cunning and manipulative, as he is very crafty and often plotting schemes against Jerry due to Newman acting in his own self-interests.
His mellifluous voice is often delivered in a humorously sinister tone of voice (mainly to Jerry) all with an over-the-top Shakespearean level of commitment to the theatricality of his language and emotions put into his words and sentences, often done in dramatic monologues. Jerry refers to Newman as "pure evil" on more than one occasion. The two generally greet each other by saying hello to each other with particular tones; Jerry extremely distrustful and baleful and Newman falsely effervescent and jovial. That being said, Newman has a tendency to crack under pressure and get high-strung despite trying to be calm and suave most of the time, which also made him an easy target for the duo's ridicule and disdain to be mocked by Jerry.
The origin of the Seinfeld/Newman feud is never revealed. Newman's dislike of Jerry appears to stem from resentment at Jerry's status as a relatively famous comedian, which led to his obsession to come out on top despite his schemes continually falling apart. Newman considers Jerry to be undeserving of his fame, referring to Jerry's audience as a "half soused nightclub rabble" and referring to Jerry's comedy as "making observations". When asked about why the character Jerry hates Newman, Jerry Seinfeld explained it in the Season 3 DVD inside look of the show:
| “ | He was the first person on the show, my own show, who was coming on to sabotage me in some way. And so why would I not hate him forever for that? | „ |
| ~ Newman's Bio |
Newman's childish and awkward antics are often a frequent source of annoyance to Jerry, such as in attracting fleas to the apartment ("The Doodle"), and generally making Jerry's life more difficult in ways he can gloat and relish in it with glee. However, the depth of Jerry and Newman's enmity seems to vary between episodes — or even within the same episode ("The Soul Mate") — and Jerry sometimes seems to consider him merely an annoying and argumentative neighbor, rather than an outright fearsome enemy. At times they even work together on some scheme, though with some reluctance on Jerry's part (and usually with mutual friend Kramer as a buffer). In "The Old Man", Jerry casually mentions "a couple of friends," referring to Kramer and Newman. In "The Blood", Newman even does a considerable favor for Jerry, seemingly without ulterior motives (though the nature of the favor actually makes it quite distressing to Jerry). In any event, Newman often seems quite amused at how effectively he irritates Jerry (which of course only irritates Jerry all the more), although any battle of wits between them rarely leaves Newman the victor. Jerry and Newman also attended Super Bowl XXIX together, but only due to a ticket mix-up.
Newman is one of Kramer's best friends, and the pair are forever participating in various get-rich-quick schemes when he's not eating chunky bars. In "The Bookstore", Newman and Kramer decide to use a rickshaw to transport people from place to place. In "The Old Man", Newman and Kramer try to find valuable records to sell for cash. "The Bottle Deposit" features the most creative scheme between Kramer and Newman to bring many deposit bottles (5 cents in New York) in a mail truck all the way to Michigan (10 cents each). Even Newman's friendship with Kramer, however, can be overcome by Newman's obsession to win in any situation; in "The Label Maker", he and Kramer play a game of Risk and when Kramer leaves the game board in Jerry's apartment for safekeeping, Newman goes so far as to sneak into Jerry's apartment via the fire escape with intent to rearrange the pieces' layout in his favor, although he is detected and flees before he actually changes anything.
| “ | (Newman): Quite the conundrum. As a federal employee I believe the law is all we have. It's all that separates us from the savages, who don't deserve even the privilege of the daily mail! STOMPING PARCELS IN THE MAILBOXES WHERE THEY DON'T BELONG! (Kramer): Newman!! (Newman): *jabbers startedly before staying silent* |
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| ~ Newman in "The Seven". |
Newman's own talents as a poet and wordsmith are very considerable, yet similar recognition to Jerry has so far eluded Newman. Newman's angry rants directed against Jerry and, at times, the United States Postal Service in various episodes tend to be acquiescent, bombastic, eloquent and verbose, displaying an impressive command of language. One of his most well-known speeches takes place in "The Finale Part 1", after Jerry refuses to take him to Paris, in which he extravagantly describes his day of reckoning as if Newman was a cartoon supervillain swearing a longing for revenge against their sworn enemy.
He has a few friends from the post office and had former girlfriends in a couple of episodes. One moment in "The Bottle Deposit", after he is dumped from his mail truck, he seeks refuge in a farmer's but is kicked out for having sex with the farmer's daughter, who calls him "Norman". Newman was also seen with a supermodel after his birthday wish comes true in "The Betrayal", and usually his oddball nature is what makes him lose chances and opportunities of finding himself a girlfriend or a lover. He's also pretty picky with finding types, where his ex Margret wasn't his type since he didn't find her attractive and pretty enough in "The Big Salad".
There are times Newman can be pretty weird, from his acts of obsessing over a scam that involved recycling in "The Bottle Deposit", down to even considering the idea to commit cannibalism because of the fact Kramer smells like food in "The Butter Shave".
In fact, he hates broccoli so much, if you give him a box of broccoli and dare him into eating broccoli, he'll crack under pressure, wheeze while spitting it out by exclaiming "VILE WEED!!!" and eventually demand to drink honey mustard to remove the bitter taste.
Every time something worse happens for him like his car being towed away or being confronted, he has a thing to bring up him having witnesses (even if he wants said confronter to hit him so Newman could bring up a witness of his).
Villainous Acts[]
| “ | (Jerry): Ah but I'm sure there's an explanation. (Newman): Yes, it's called "mail fraud". Oohhh, how I've longed for this moment, Seinfeld. The day where I'd have the proof I needed, to haul you out of your cushy lair, and expose you to the light of justice! As THE MONSTER THAT YOU ARE! A MONSTER SO VILE!!- (Officer): Newman! |
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| ~ Newman proudly (and passionately) eager of accusing Jerry for mail fraud and wanting to expose and vilify him before being silenced in "The Package". |
- In his debut episode, "The Suicide", Newman sees Jerry with Gina, the girlfriend of a fellow resident named Martin, who is certainly in a coma. Later, in the comatose Martin's hospital room, Newman tells Jerry that he will tell Martin what's been going on with Jerry and Gina when he wakes up, Jerry attempts to buy Newman off with the extra Drake's coffee cake that he has; however, Elaine (now starving without food) takes it and devours it before he can even eat it and Newman tells Martin.
- In the Season 4 episode "The Ticket", he commits perjury by lying and having Kramer as an alibi in order to avoid paying for a $75 dollar speeding ticket (which was foiled due to Kramer's stupidity botching up Newman's scheme).
- In the Season 7 premiere "The Engagement", he, Elaine and Kramer kidnap a dog named Roxy.
- In "The Bottle Deposit", he commits theft by tricking a homeless man into grabbing a coin so Newman could confuse him in wondering who dropped said cain, and Newman then steals his cart of soda cans, which is also treated as an act of criminal mischief.
- In "The Calzone", he cons George by breaking a deal George had with delivering his calzones since Newman called in sick due to not working the rain, and then he swindled the check George was going to pay him for the calzone that George had in his hand, therefore committing embezzlement.
- In "The Package", he tried to incriminate Jerry over the crime of committing "mail fraud" with a package that was meant to inconvenience Jerry and attempt taking Jerry's soda drink (both of which was foiled by Newman getting Uncle Leo's signature and not Jerry's, and the latter being his late timing).
- Later in the episode, Newman trying to accuse Jerry and George for the crime of George and a black guy doing a criminal "pornography" scheme (which got turned into a joke at the end).
- In "The Andrea Doria", he commits vandalism by ripping the insignia off his own coat while punishing Jerry for costing him the transfer to Hawaii.
- In "The Soul Mate", he almost stole Jerry's gift he was going to give to Pam and gets Jerry stuck into a blackmailing situation where he couldn't go see Pam and not pull strings for Kramer unless he gets Jerry into helping Newman into getting him and Jerry a vasectomy done by a urologist (which backfired due to a reversal when Newman intended to do it for Dr. Wendroff herself).
- In the Season 9 premiere "The Butter Shave", he tries to eat Kramer after he starts shaving himself with butter and being covered in spices and garlic.
Quotes[]
| “ | (Jerry): Alright Newman this is it! (Newman, backed to a wall): Steady Jerry, steady. You don't wanna lose your cool in a time like this- (Jerry): Why not!? (Newman): 'Cause right now, I'm the only chance you've got!~ *mischievous chuckle* |
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| ~ Newman to Jerry when Newman stole something Jerry needed for his date in "The Soulmates". |
| “ | (Newman): You wanna know what happened to Kramer!? I'll tell you what happened to Kramer, he was ticked off, about the keys, yeah that's right about the keys... 'thought he got a bad rep. (Jerry): Bad rep!? (Newman): Yeah, from you. (Jerry): From me?! (Newman): You heard me! So he packed a grip and he spit for the coast: Lala land, L.A. |
„ |
| ~ Newman in "The Keys". |
| “ | And this failure to become: a banker, was eating at you, eating eating eating at you inside. | „ |
| ~ Newman impersonating as a lawyer in "The Ticket". |
| “ | (Newman): But you never BECAME a banker, did you Mr Kramer? (Newman leans in): WHY?! WHY DID YOU FAIL!? (Kramer): ...I don't know. (Newman): It was because you HATED your father and you'd do ANYTHING to displease him, isn't THAT true!? (Judge): Uh, could you get to the speeding? (Newman): Uhhh Yes YES I intend to your honor, and then! On the afternoon, of September 10th, you've received a phone call did you not?? |
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| ~ Newman in "The Ticket". |
| “ | WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU YOU JERK!?! WE HAD IT ALL WORKED OUT!! | „ |
| ~ Newman's meltdown when Kramer's stupidity caused Newman's perjury scheme to get botched up in "The Ticket". |
| “ | (Newman): Then lemme ask you this... Did you find it interesting, that your friend had the foresight to purchase postal insurance for your stereo? Huh!? I mean, Parcels are RARELY damaged during shipping! (Jerry): Define "rarely". (Newman looks stunned yet guilty): ...Frequently... (Jerry): Are we about through here Newman? (Newman gives Seinfeld a death stare): ...It's pretty hot under these lights, huh Seinfeld? Pretty... HOT! (Jerry): ...Actually I'm quite comfortable. (Newman, staring thristily at the soda Jerry had): ...Can I have a sip? (Jerry shakes his head): No. (Newman gets up): ...Not gonna play "ball", eh? Already ADMIT IT!!! Th-That STEREO IS ALREADY BUSTED! (Jerry): You can't prove anything. (Newman): Is this, or is this not YOUR signature? (Jerry): No as a matter of fact it isn't. (Newman scoffed and spluttered): ....Uncle Leo? This case is closed pending further evidence.... [under his breath]: JERRY. |
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| ~ Newman attempting to incriminate Jerry while under a lamplight and failing at it in "The Package". |
| “ | (Newman): There are, gonna be a small fine. (Jerry): Okay. (George): Can we go now? (Newman): Not so fast, pretty boy eheh. There's MORE to this, sorted little affair *snaps fingers at George* (Jerry, disturbed by George being in a stripped down photo): Oh, god! (Newman): THIS photo clearly indicates your involvement in some, ill-conceived mail order pornography ring, as does this one. *snaps fingers* found in the same disturbing packet. (George): Oh MY GOOOD!!! (Newman): We, have a few questions we'd like you to answer. (Jerry to George): I have a few questions of my own. |
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| ~ Newman in "The Package". |
| “ | (Newman): Hello Jerry. (Jerry, flatly): Hello Newman, what gives? (Newman): I was speaking earlier with Kramer and he mentioned something about a, private jet to Paris? (Jerry): Yeah that's right yeah. (Newman); Well uh, I hear it's quite beautiful there this time of year and, and of course you know I'm one-quarter French. (Jerry): Really? (Newman): Oh yes, in fact I still have family there. This... probably won't interest you, but I have a cousin there who's suffering very badly. She's lost all use of her muscles. She can only communicate by blinking. I would so love to see her, bring a ray of sunshine into her tragic life. But atlas, I can't afford it. For I am, as you know, but a simple postal worker. (Jerry): That's a shame. (Newman is now on his knees in a pleading posture): TAKE ME!! TAKE ME TAKE ME!!! (Jerry): Get off me! You're making me sick! Be a man! |
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| ~ Newman trying to trick Jerry into bringing Newman with him to Paris. |
| “ | (Newman): What, KIND of dog did you say it was??? (Elaine): I-I don't know I've never really seen it. (Newman): I've seen MANY dogs on my mail route... I'll bet there's not type of MUTT or mongrel I haven't run across if you ask me they have NO business living amongst us! VILE USELESS! (Kramer): Newman!! (Newman): VILE MY- (Kramer): NEWMAN!!!! (Newman stops ranting): ...Anyway. |
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| ~ Newman's rant about dogs in "The Engagement". |
| “ | (Newman): Hello Mrs. Seinfeld (Mrs. Seinfeld, flatly): Hello... Newman. Jerry's not here. (Newman): Ah dah... Having a nice trip? (Mrs. Seinfeld): Wonderful, we went to the theater last night. (Newman, caught snatching a cookie): ...Oh the theater!! Cause I was wondering... (Mrs. Seinfeld): Wondering what? (Newman): Why I didn't see you at Schindler's List with Jerry. (Mrs. Seinfeld): Well we already saw it. (Newman): OHHH, well! It's a good thing for Jerry that you didn't go. (Mr. Seinfeld): Why is that? (Newman): Well he really seemed to have his "hands full" if you know what I mean. (Mrs. Seinfeld): I'm afraid I don't. (Newman): Him and his buxom little friend Rachel were going at it pretty good in the balcony. (Mr. Seinfeld): What??? (Newman): Wha uh do I have to SPELL it out for you!? He was moving on her like the Stormtroopers into Poland! (Mrs. Seinfeld): ...Jerry was "necking" during Schindler's List?? (Newman, a bit exasperated): YESSS!! And a more offensive spectacle I CANNOT RECALL!! Anyway I, just really came up to get some detergent. (Mrs. Seinfeld): Jerry sends his laundry OUT. (Newman): Oh, *chuckled apologetically* Ohoho right! Well! it was nice seeing you! And uh oh by the way, you didn't hear this from me... Tata!! Neheh!! (Newman chuckles as he leaves) |
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| ~ Newman talking to Jerry Seinfeld's parents in "The Raincoats". |
| “ | (Newman squeezes at the door Jerry was gonna close): Hello Jerry, may I come in? (Jerry): What do you want? (Newman): Eh, nothing... Just being neighborly. Wanna hang out? Shoot the breeze?- (Jerry stands in front of Newman): I'm not letting you cheat and I'm not letting you get anywhere near that board. (Newman): Jerry, I'm a little insulted. (Jerry): You're not a little anything Newman, so just pack it up and move outta here. (Newman): Alright... |
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| ~ Newman attempting to swindle and cheat at a game of chess by snatching the board from Jerry in "The Label Maker". |
| “ | (Newman): Ohhh uh by the way uh what are you doing for the Super Bowl? (Jerry): I dunno watch it on TV I guess, why? (Newman): Well, if you watch closely enough, you might just see ME. I'll be the one waving at the camera for my seat on the 40-yard line. (Jerry): You're going to the Super Bowl? (Newman): YES I am! A guy in my mail room JUST got a couple of tickets, and he offered one to me. (Jerry): What was his name? (Newman): Tim Watley. (Jerry): ...That's MY ticket! (Newman, smugly): Is IT??? Ohhhhh, well if only you've known, you could've saved some time and given it directly to ME. Nahahahah!!! (Newman runs out of the room and closes the door) (Jerry): ...Newman! |
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| ~ Newman setting up Jerry with a trick in order to taunt, annoy and inconvenience him in "The Label Maker". |
| “ | Yeah. I just hope Tim Watley's electric bills don't get suddenly lost in the mail. Or it could be, light's out for him. Neheheh!!! (Jerry, groans unamusedly): Thanks for having me over guys. (Kramer): Yeah. |
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| ~ Newman making a corny electricity bill joke in "The Label Maker". |
| “ | Sorry, climbers keepers. | „ |
| ~ Newman refusing to give a coat away in "The Reverse Peephole". |
| “ | And then, then as I was about to go, these boxes show up at the post office, with no labels. No labels Jerry, you know what that means?? FREEBEES!! | „ |
| ~ Newman to Jerry in a sports game. |
| “ | (Jerry, flatly): Hello Newman. (Newman): Jerry, Goerge. So did you ask about the records? (Jerry): What records? (Kramer): Uh well uh, Newman and I are going partners selling used records! (Newman and Kramer high-fiving each other) (Newman): You know Ron's Records down on bleaker? They pay big cash for used records!~ (Kramer): Yeah so we thought if you had any of those big y'know old fashioned useless records just, y'know lying around- (Newman): Y'know we could take them off your hands, free of charge. |
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| ~ Newman in "The Old Man" |
| “ | (Newman): Heyheyheyhey! Hi I hear you got some lip reader working for ya, you GOTTA let me use it for just one day! JUST one day! (Jerry): Can't do it Newman. (Newman): But but JERRY!! We got- we got this new supervisor down the Post Office, he's working behind this glass... I know they're talking about me. THEY'RE GONNA TRANSFER ME I KNOW IT!!!! Two hours give me two hours. (Jerry): It's not gonna happen! |
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| ~ Newman to Jerry in "The Lip Reader". |
| “ | (Elaine): Yeah... Well uh I was curious if IF I was interested in availing myself of your services uhm, what exactly can I do with the dogs? (Newman leans forward from his chair, inhales)* Well Elaine *sighs*, there's any number of things that I could do, but I can promise you this though, this vicious beast will never bother you again. So what's it gonna be? (Elaine): ...No uh uh, I'm sorry I can't, I can't hurt a dog I can't! (Kramer): I got it! We'll kidnap them! We kidnap the dog we'll drop 'em off upstate and this way he won't bother you anymore and he won't get hurt. (Newman): I suppose. (Kramer): Eh? (Elaine): I'll have to think about it, I doubt it thought I doubt it I'll let you know. |
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| ~ Newman in "The Engagement". |
| “ | (Newman): ...Hello Jerry. (Jerry): ...Hello Newman. (Newman): You know old friend, sometimes I wonder this silly gulf between us, and I say "why?", are we really so different, for what's it's- (Jerry interrupts): I'm not the one doing the cooking Newman. (Newman): DAMN YOU SEINFELD! You useless pustule! |
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| ~ Newman to Jerry. |
| “ | (Jerry): But what do you think the hobos are doing? (Newman): I don't know, they're deranged. |
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| ~ Newman to Jerry. |
| “ | (Newman): You see my dear, all certified mail is registered, but "registered mail" is not necessarily certified. (Nina): I could listen to you talk about mail all, day. (Newman): Anything you wish. I'll tell you a little secret about ZIP codes... they're meaningless. NYEAHAHAHA!!! |
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| ~ Newman to his former girlfriend Nina in "The Betrayal". |
| “ | What took you so long? | „ |
| ~ Newman to a police officer in "The Engagement". |
| “ | (Kramer): What do you think they'll do to us? (Newman): Ah don't worry 'bout a thing, in 20 minutes that place will be swarming with mailmen, we'll be back on the street by lunch. |
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| ~ Newman to Kramer in a police car in "The Engagement". |
| “ | (Newman): Find your PACE boy! Chop chop!! (Kramer): Ohhh I can't go on! I gotta take a break! (Newman): Well don't TARRY on behind schedule as it is! |
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| ~ Newman treating Kramer as his servant. |
| “ | Sorry, but love is a SPICE with many tastes, a dizzying array of textures, and moments. | „ |
| ~ Newman. |
| “ | (Jerry): What? (Newman): That was the vice president of the Post Office, I didn't get the transfer, they KNEW it wasn't me doing my route. (Jerry): How did they know? (Newman): TOO many people got their mail! Close to 80%, nobody in the Post Office has EVER cracked the 50% barrier! It's like the 3-minute mile! (Jerry): I tried my best! (Newman): EXACTLY. You're a disgrace to the uniform. (Jerry): You know this is your uniform. (Newman): ...DAMN! |
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| ~ Newman to Jerry. |
| “ | (Newman): But! You MUST promise, that you will abide by my decision no matter how unjust it may seem to either of you, do I have your word? (Kramer and Elaine, sighs): Alright, yeah. (Newman): Alright, let's begin... *toaster sound effect* Oh! My cocoa!!! Aheheheh!!! |
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| ~ Newman persuading Kramer and Elaine to follow his rules. |
| “ | (Jerry): Anyway I don't need YOUR help. (Newman): Oh do you, jokeboy?? You really think you could manipulate that beautiful young woman like the half souse, night-club rabble that lap up your inane, observations? |
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| ~ Newman to Jerry in "The Soul Mate". |
| “ | (Newman): I may have a solution, to our little problem... Elaine will you excuse us? (Elaine): Oh come on Newman. (Newman): I have a private matter to discuss with my fellow tenants, if you don't mind *opens the door for her* (Elaine): Jerry. (Newman): Look sister go get yourself a cup of coffee alright beat it! |
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| ~ Newman to Elaine. |
| “ | (Mewman): De Kramer!!! I'm with PEOPLE! (Kramer): Yeah, yeah and THANKS for inviting me! (Newman): I DID invite you, your invitation must've gotten... lost in the mail! *chuckles* |
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| ~ Newman to Kramer. |
| “ | (Margret): We used to go out. (Newman smiles smugly at Jerry): Oh well, tootdaloo! Nyeheheh. And nice seeing you again Margret, bye Jerry have fun. Neheheheheh!!! |
„ |
| ~ Newman to Jerry and his Jerry's ex-girlfriend Margret. |
| “ | *sniffs* Chameli! | „ |
| ~ Newman at a new soups area. |
| “ | (Newman): Okay what is it? (Jerry): Here, take a look at this card and tell me if you noticed anything unusual. (Newman): Yeah, your nipple's showing. (Elaine, embarrassed): Aww. (Jerry, annoyed): Okay thanks. (Newman): Anything else? (Jerry): NO. (Newman): Okay see you later. |
„ |
| ~ Newman. |
| “ | VILE WEED! | „ |
| ~ Newman said in response to Jerry pranking him with a broccoli prank. |
| “ | YES Yes! Now please! Someone! Honey mustard! | „ |
| ~ Newman pleading for honey mustard to eliminate the bitterness of broccoli after confessing to Jerry during Newman's disgust for broccoli. |
| “ | That's true, of course nobody NEEDS mail! What you think you're so clever figuring that one out!? *inhales* But you don't know the HALF that goes on in here, so just walk away Kramer, I beg of you. | „ |
| ~ Newman to Kramer trying to cancel his mails over tech styles in "The Junk Mail". |
| “ | (Kramer): Well you're gonna have to cancel it because I told everybody about my party! (Newman): "Cancelled"?! Think again Longshanks, I started planning this in 1978, I put a deposit down on that revolving restaurant on Time Square, and I booked Christopher Cross. |
„ |
| ~ Newman to Kramer. |
| “ | I had uh, gone up to Westchester. I uh, go there every Tuesday I, do charity work with the blind. | „ |
| ~ Newman lying under oath. |
| “ | (Newman): Well... You certainly are in a bind. (Costanza): Yeah, and I thought since you go there everyday, we could help each other out. (Newman):Nehh oh eheheh... Let me be perfectly blunt, I don't CARE for you Costanza. You HANG out on the West Side of the building with Seinfeld all day just LAUGHING it up, wasting your lives. (Costanza): Are you gonna help me or not? (Newman): Dah alright alright alright. I will help you. But I will be expecting something, in return. (Costanza): What? (Newman): Well for starters, I want a calzone of my own. (Costanza, resigned): ...Alright. (Newman): And a slice of pepperoni pizza, and a large soda, and three times a week I shall require a cannoli. (Costanza): That's STEEP don't cha think? (Newman): You know I hear that Mr. Steinbread can be a bit ERRATIC, I hate to see when he's hungry.~ (Costanza): ALRIGHT Alright!! (Newman): Do we have a deal? (Costanza): Just make sure you get the meat by one o clock, he's VERY rigid about his meals. (Newman): I know how EXACTLY how he feels, well nice doing business with you! Do come again.~ Nyeheheheheh! Nyeheheheheheh! Nyahahahaha- THOW! *grabs fork Newman sat on* |
„ |
| ~ Newman to Costanza in "The Calzones". |
Gallery[]
Trivia[]
- In the "The Diplomat's Club", Newman says that he knew the prolific serial killer David Berkowitz and worked together with him in the postal office. He states that he once took David's mail route and that he used to tell Newman to "lay off the snacks". Since then, Newman has kept Berkowitz's signed postal bag under his possession.
- Jerry Seinfeld has been quoted as saying that he almost feels sorry for Wayne Knight, as his portrayal of Newman has typecast him to the point that "everywhere he goes, he must be greeted with 'Hello, Newman'". In fact, during the Seinfeld DVD special features, Knight recounts an occasion when he was having a particularly bad day, where after a series of unfortunate events, a fan happened to yell "Hello, Newman." This resulted in Knight releasing his long day's built-up anger on the unsuspecting fan.
- While Newman's first name has never been officially revealed in the show, many fans suspect that it may be "Norman" due to a line in the episode "The Bottle Deposit", where the farmer's daughter tells him "goodbye, Norman". However, people behind the scenes have confirmed that this was an error on the actress' part and was kept in the episode because it was funnier. Since then, Newman's official full name has never been confirmed.
- According to Jerry, he happens to be a fantastic tennis player.
External Links[]
- Newman on the Seinfeld Wiki
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