| “ | Let me shake hands with the Man Who Would Be Mom. | „ |
| ~ Noah Banes after discovering the truth about Alex's pregnancy |
| “ | You know, I'm really disappointed in you, Diana. You and your baby are university property now. | „ |
| ~ Noah Banes expressing his disappointment in Diana before pushing her aside and then addressing Alex. |
| “ | And what perfect timing. Here he is now, ladies and gentlemen. I give you the world's first pregnant man. | „ |
| ~ Noah Banes trying to introduce Alex to the news media. |
| “ | He's having a baby, Edward. I swear it. | „ |
| ~ Noah Banes's last words before getting fired by the Dean. |
Noah Banes is the main antagonist of the 1994 comedy movie, Junior. He is the greedy head of the review board and director of Leland University and Lufkin's Biotechnology Research Center and Program where Dr. Alexander "Alex" Hesse, Dr. Lawrence "Larry" Arbogast, and Dr. Diana Reddin work at.
He was played by Frank Langella, who also played Don Tomás de la Plata in The Wrath of God, Boris Balkan in The Ninth Gate, Bob Alexander in Dave, Dawg Brown in Cutthroat Island, Rodney Cole in Unknown, and Skeletor in Masters of the Universe.
Personality[]
Noah Banes is shown to be mean, stubborn, opportunistic, selfish, deceptive, obsessive, greedy, careless, and remorseless without showing the least bit of regard for others including animals like the lab chimpanzees. He doesn't take likely to rejections as shown when he expresses his disappointment in Diana for rejecting his romantic advances towards her without hesitation. He doesn't easily take "No" for an answer nor does he like to be proven wrong or taken for a fool even when he is right about something. Banes can prove to be very determined yet nosy as he tries to butt in on other people's affairs whenever he suspects something is afoot without his prior knowledge and doesn't give up until he finally gets what he's after.
Biography[]
A week after a disastrous meeting with the FDA, Noah Banes informs fellow geneticists: Dr. Alexander "Alex" Hesse and Dr. Lawrence "Larry" Arbogast working at Leland University that while the FDA has denied human experimentation on the new fertility drug they created and named Expectane, which is designed to reduce the chances of a miscarriage despite the success on chimpanzee experimentation, the team has received a donation from geneticist, Dr. Diana Reddin from the ovum cryogenics department. Unfortunately, Banes refuses to help Larry out despite the latter begging for more time and help due to having 300 grand invested on this drug. Then, as head of the review board, Banes reveals that he has deliberately terminated the project as he claims that both lab space and money is tight nowadays without showing any sign of real care, concern, regret, or remorse.
When Dr. Reddin finally arrives, Banes deliberately fails to mention that she will be taking over Dr. Hesse's old lab since the latter has recently retired and decided to start over in Europe due to the FDA's disapproval. Then, Banes carelessly orders that the chimpanzees: Moe and Minnie (the lab's experimentally pregnant chimpanzee mother) be brought back into the lab since the experiment is over; much to the horror and disgust of Dr. Reddin and the dismay of Dr. Hesse and Dr. Arbogast. Luckily, a month later after 7 months of pregnancy and experimentation, Minnie successfully delivers her very first baby girl ever in the end even after a long history of miscarriages though; thanks to the Expectane.
Unbeknownst to Banes, a month prior, Larry suggests omitting a volunteer's gender and convinces Alex to impregnate himself with an ovum codenamed "Junior" in order to receive funding from the Canadian firm, Lyndon Pharmaceutical, unknown that the ovum Larry took is actually Diana's (who was actually more than generous enough to allow both Alex and Larry to share and use the same old lab). One night, during a pharmaceutical convention at the Hyatt in San Francisco, Banes is intrigued when he overhears Larry talking about human experimentation with Expectane with a couple of Lyndon Pharmaceutical representatives (one of them being the CEO) since such an act and performance without authorization is completely against university and FDA guidelines. At one point, Banes notices Alex acting and looking a bit different. Later, Banes fails to woo and romance Diana, who begins developing a relationship with Alex; leaving Banes to sulk as he eats from Alex's former dish after facing rejection for his advances from Diana.
However, noticing that Diana's account shows continuing requisition for Expectane components from the Expectane project which he cancelled 6 months ago, Banes begins to get rather suspicious and decides to investigate. Eventually, despite Alex and Larry's best attempts to throw him off suspicion, Banes discovers Alex's pregnancy when he finds vials of the drug at Larry's place and decides to exploit and take credit for it while expressing his disappointment in Diana without hesitation, but Alex manages to escape after tossing Banes aside when trying to escort the latter to an ambulance to perform a few tests on him and hides in a retreat for expectant mothers for the next month and days of pregnancy left while disguised as a woman named "Alexandra"; thanks to Larry. With the experiment proven a success on a human, Lyndon Pharmaceutical finally agrees to partner with them as a result without any worry from the FDA this time.
When it is finally time, having bribed a hospital staffer (a custodian named Keith), Banes learns that Larry plans to perform an emergency c-section at night while sending everybody else home. So, he summons the news media and the University Dean, Edward Sawyer, hoping to take credit for the world's first pregnant man. However, when the media only see Larry having brought his ex-wife, Angela (impregnated by Aerosmith's personal trainer) in order to create a decoy for Alex to allow a private c-section due to being warned earlier by a colleague, a shocked Banes finds himself discredited by the media and fired by the Dean once and for all.
With Noah Banes left completely jobless, his fate remains unknown afterwards and both Alex and ironically, Angela are each free to deliver their own babies: a girl in Alex's case and a boy in the latter's (through normal childbirth of course).
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