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| “ | Protect and serve (on a budget) | „ |
| ~ Paradise P.D.'s motto. |
The Paradise Police Department, also known as Paradise P.D., is the titular main organization of Paradise P.D.. It is a police team localized in Paradise, and like all police departments, their goal is to protect and serve. However, their team is comprised almost entirely of corrupt and/or villainous police officers, with the exception of Kevin.
History[]
It is unknown when Paradise P.D. was first founded or who founded it. However, it is known that the company has been around since at least 1985 and it is currently being run by Randall Crawford, who designed the logo for Paradise P.D. According to him, the logo is intended to depict a sunset, although other people have pointed out that it looks like a puckering anus, much to his annoyance. However in "Ass on the Line", Randall admitted it was a depiction of a puckered anus, saying that he designed it because he was obsessed with a Jane Doe severed ass case he failed to solve in 1985.
In 2016, Paradise P.D.'s sole Asian member, Blackie Chan was killed in the line of duty. The details were never explored. Shortly following Blackie's death, Paradise P.D. hired the African-American Chicago P.D. veteran, Gerald Fitzgerald has a replacement token minority.
In 2018, Kevin Crawford joined Paradise P.D., despite this going against Randall's wishes. Despite being the leader, Randall was powerless to stop him because his bitter ex-wife, Karen Crawford, was the mayor and utilized her power to make him a cop. Since then, Kevin has been the only member of Paradise P.D. to be wholly and truly good.
In "Black & Blue", Paradise Police Department was under attack from Black Lives Matter protestors for one of their cops (Fitz) shooting a black guy (Fitz). Randall organized a Blue Lives Matter protest to combat them.
In "Dungeons & Dragnet", Preacher Paul offered a collection plate full of millions of dollars to Paradise P.D. as reward money for all of their protecting and serving of their town. However, he said he would only grant them the money if they collected all of the Dungeons & Dragons games in Paradise and destroyed them. Preacher Paul believed these games were Satanic. Although everyone on the force thought this was stupid, they went along with it and arrested people who they knew were innocent just to make money.
In "Task Force", Fitz slipped into a coma and had to be retired from the team.
In "Christmas in Paradise", Dusty was falsely arrested for being the argyle meth kingpin and was, of course, kicked off of the police force.
In "Paradise Found", Paradise P.D. became the most amazing and heroic police station around, after Kevin had Dusty arrested in the previous episode. Because of this, Paradise P.D. got a ton of money from government funding and their police station had a bunch of amazing upgrades like high-tech assets such as robots, pecogs, and helicopters. However, at the end of the episode, Kevin revealed that Dusty was innocent, which, while honest, led to Paradise falling from grace and becoming a societal pariah. Since his Dippin' Dots business went down under, Fitz had to get his old job as a Paradise P.D. cop again.
In "Big Ball Energy", all of Paradise P.D.'s new stuff got repossessed and they sadly went back to normal.
In "Tucker Carlson is a Huge Dick", it was revealed that Randall was paying Gina 20% less than all of her male co-workers because all of the men on the police force got an automatic "penis bonus". Unhappy with this, Karen started a new branch of the police force, that focused solely on women. The Paradise P.D. Women's Force was led by herself and included Gina, Patty Mae, Lady Gertrude, Karla 9000, and Gwyneth Paltrow. In protest, Randall started a Paradise P.D. Men's force, comprised of himself, Kevin, Bullet, Dusty, Hopson, and Hobo Cop. All of the men (except Hobo Cop and Kevin) eventually got sick of dealing with their new police force and they all branched off to make themselves their own teams, such as Dusty's Fat People Force, Hopson's Elder Force, and Bullet's Cartoon Animal Force. At the end of the episode, all these forces were dissolved.
In "PARAD-ISIS", Karen fired all acting cops of the Paradise Police Department for their failure to save the city from being destroyed by Dobby.
Members[]
Current Members[]
- Randall Crawford (leader)
- Gina Jabowski
- Dusty Marlow
- Gerald Fitzgerald
- Stanley Hopson
- Bullet
- Kevin Crawford
Former Members[]
- Blackie Chan (deceased)
- Prop Cop (deceased)
- HandiCop (deceased)
- Siamese Twin Cops (deceased)
Villainous Acts[]
- In "Welcome to Paradise", Paradise P.D. recruited a homeless person as an expendable member of their team and expected him to kill himself looking into a bag that supposedly contained a time bomb.
- In "Black & Blue", Randall admitted to their company occasionally shooting innocent minorities.
- In "Dungeons & Dragnet", Paradise P.D. wrongfully arrested innocent D&D players, who they knew were innocent, just so that they could make some reward money from Preacher Paul, a paranoid Jesus freak who thought D&D was a demonic board game.
- In "Police Academy", Paradise P.D. (which was, at the time, under the control of Bullet) turned its headquarters into a whorehouse, where they would make all the hookers they arrested perform as strippers.
- In "Tucker Carlson is a Huge Dick", it was revealed that Paradise P.D. was a misogynistic company, that paid all of its male employees a 20% "penis bonus", leaving the team's sole female, underpaid for doing the same job.
- In "Who Ate Wally's Waffles?", Paradise P.D. abused and mistreated Kevin for not shitting at work.
- In "Paradise P.D. Meets Brickleberry", the cops of Paradise P.D. fought the park rangers of Brickleberry.
- In "Top Cops", Paradise P.D. staged several crimes and arrested several innocent people just so that they could increase their arrest number and win a stupid competition.
- In "Trigger Warnings", Paradise P.D. started using smart guns as their primary source of weaponry and used them to shoot innocent people. They also distributed several smart guns to undeserving owners such as gangs, cults, and psychos.
- In "Showdown at the O-bese Corral", Paradise P.D. enforced a bunch of fatphobic laws on the city such as slanket bans and weight limits on restaurants, specifically so that the could get Dusty and the Weight Watchers out of town.
- In "Blind Drunk", Paradise P.D. started enforcing outdated laws against prohibition, which led to them arrested and even killing several innocent people who just drank alcohol. They also didn't give the citizens of their own any warnings beforehand, to let them know that their formerly acceptable actions were now suddenly being seen as illegal.
Dissolved Branches[]
- Women's Force
- Karen Crawford
- Gina Jabowski
- Patty Mae
- Lady Gertrude
- Karla 9000
- Gwyneth Paltrow
- Men's Force
- Randall Crawford
- Kevin Crawford
- Bullet
- Dusty Marlow
- Stanley Hopson
- Hobo Cop
- Fat Guy Force
- Dusty Marlow
- Several Unnamed Fat People
- Old Man Force
- Stanley Hopson
- Several Unnamed Senior Citizens
- Cartoon Animal Force
- Scrooge McDuck
- Heathcliff
- Droopy Dog
- Porky Pig
- Woody Woodpecker
Rival Organizations[]
- Diamond City P.D.
- Legion of Dooooom (defeated)
- Brickleberry National Park (formerly)
Trivia[]
- Randall has admitted that the logo of their company (which he previously said was a sunset) is a depicting of a puckered anus. His reason for making this their logo was because, in 1985, he found a severed ass and failed to find out who it belonged it. Randall drove himself insane trying to find out who's ass it was and never got the satisfaction of solving the case. To this day, the case still bothers him and he decided it would be appropriate to make the unknown victim's anus into their team logo.
- Their gun safety motto is "We Ain't Got No Gun Safety Motto."
