Yes… yes…, it is I, your cherished principal and here at Dreary Meadows Elementary School it is my sacred duty to make sure you little monsters BEHAVE YOURSELVES!”
~ Principal Greedyguts.

Principal Ignaz M. Greedyguts is the principal of Dreary Meadows and a major antagonist from the Canadian animated TV series Jacob Two-Two which is based on the Jacob Two-Two books written by the late Canadian writer Mordecai Richler.

He was voiced by Canadian voice actor Dwayne Hill.

He is the greedy and corrupt principal of the elementary school Dreary Meadows who has a deep disdain for children and hates Jacob Two-Two. He eats a lot and has trouble fitting through doors. His goals vary from episode to episode, but he is almost always motivated by pure greed. In his various schemes, he is often assisted by his love interest Miss Sour Pickle or the school janitor Leo Louse. He also has a twin brother named Y.B. Greedyguts. He debuts in the show’s second episode “Jacob Two-Two and the Staff Room of Doom”.

His name is a pun on "I am Greedy" and "guts".

As his name implies, Greedyguts is a very greedy and selfish man who loves living a very extravagant lifestyle, however in order to finance said lifestyle he embezzles large numbers of school funds and even uses the schools various facilities for his own selfish needs. In the fifth episode of season 2 “Jacob Two-Two and the Fun Fair Fiasco”, he tasks janitor Leo to make a list of all the luxury goods he has bought with school funds, on the list are a tanning bed payed with textbook funds, converting the school’s boiler room to his own personal sauna, selling the school busses to buy himself a new SUV, using the school’s changing room as his own personal mushroom farm among many other things. The worst display of his greed is arguably in the eleventh episode of season 3 “Jacob Two-Two and the Pirated Pastry”, where he steals Lloyd Sugarlove’s jelly donut recipe, opens his own donut factory called “Goody Guts” and makes a fortune of it while the original creator of the jelly donut makes no profit from his own product and has to close down his small donut store, making Greedyguts responsible for ruining a man’s financial life. When Jacob and his best friend Bufford find the recipe inside of Greedyguts’ factory, they want to call the police but Greedyguts tries to stop them. At first, he tries to crush the two students with a barrel by dropping it from one of the factory’s crane this fails however, he later tries to get the recipe back by controlling the robotic arms inside of the factory. All of his efforts however prove to be fruitless and he gets arrested for his crimes. In order to avoid jail he had to pass ownership of his factory over to Lloyd.

Apart from his greed, Greedyguts also has an insatiable appetite, his favorite food being donuts. In the fourth episode of the first season “Jacob Two-Two and the Conniving Caterer” he fires the school’s lunch lady and replaces her with Leo Louse in order to save money. Instead of the good cafeteria food the students get terrible food like cockroach pie served while Greedyguts himself gets all the good food like roast chicken and macaroni.

He also displays some narcistic behavior, illustrated by the fact that he has decorated his office with paintings and small statues of himself usually depicting him in a very heroic or impressive pose. In Episode 5 of Season 4 “Jacob Two-Two and the Big Brain Exchange”, he commits insurance fraud and with the money he gathered from it he installs a gigantic statue of himself in front of Dreary Meadows.

Seize him! This little skunk put me off my feet and for that he shall pay dearly!
~ Principal Greedyguts about Jacob
After all these years I finally have my very own army of mindless student zombies to wait on me hand and foot (…)
~ Principal Greedyguts to Leo

Just like his love-interest Miss Sour Pickle, principal Greedyguts has a huge distain for children and loves to punish them harshly for even the most trivial matters. In the episode “Jacob Two-Two and the Doubtful Double Agent” he punishes Jacob with detention for life after his two siblings set him up to stink-bomb the school without his knowledge. Greedyguts then sends Jacob to a prison-like island where he is supposed to spend the rest of his life, but Jacob manages to escape from the island. He does not only take pleasure in punishing his students but sometimes also uses them to satisfy his greedy desires and get whatever he wants as illustrated in the episode “Jacob Two Two and the Cranial Classroom Caper” where the substitute teacher Miss Darling Sweetiepie brainwashes the students of Dreary Meadows into well behaved and obedient children. When Greedyguts finds out about this he immediately takes advantage of the situation and uses the brainwashed children as his own personal servant to do his bidding. He orders the brainwashed students to build a Roman spa for him and throws Miss Sweetiepie who wants to put an end to the escalated situation into the dungeon-resembling basement of the school. Before Greedyguts gets to enjoy his new spa however, the students are brought out of their trance by Jacob with the help of Miss Sweetiepie and Leo.

Quotes

(…) I’m turning a tidy profit charging all the mommies and daddies to watch their useless kids play, and I have almost saved enough to build myself a heated box seat. So the last thing I want to do is waste my money on those brats!
~ Greedyguts to Leo
Greedyguts: Now that my pockets will be bulging with cash, I’ll be able to renovate the entire school!
Jacob: You mean we’ll finally have windows that open and heaters that work?!
Greedyguts: Windows?! (Evil laughter) Oh! Heating?! (Evil laughter) Keep dreaming, kid! (Evil laughter)
Leo: (Evil laughter)
Greedyguts: I’ll start by moving the students, I mean... vermin, to the sub-basement so I can convert the class rooms into stables for my polo ponies!
Jacob: “The sub-basement?!
Greedyguts: “Oh but you won’t have to stay down there in the damp and the dark all the time. I will occasionally allow some lucky inmate the privilege of coming above-ground to rub my sore tired feet at the end of the day.
~ Greedyguts and Leo to Jacob.
FINE! Yes, I did all that! I swiped Lloyd’s recipe, covered it all up and built a donut empire! And you know what else I did? I got away with it, because without proof no one will ever believe you!
~ Greedyguts confessing to Jacob and Bufford that he stole Lloyd’s jelly donut recipe.

Gallery

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Trivia

  • His first name Ignaz was revealed in Episode 6 of Season 1 “Jacob Two Two and the Mystery of the Malty McGuffin".
  • His parents’ names are Cecil and Ethelyn Greedyguts according to Episode 4 of Season 1 “Jacob Two Two and the Conniving Caterer”.
  • In the episode “Jacob Two Two and the Fun Fair Fiasco” it is revealed that Greedyguts failed Kindergarten twice.
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