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| “ | End of the line, friend. She belongs to Rando now. | „ |
| ~ Stevie Dean to Brad Armstrong. |
The Rando Army is the central antagonistic faction of LISA: The Painful. It is the largest and most powerful army in Olathe. Though the army mostly carries well-intent, due to it's vastness there are many perverts and evil people that exploit the army's power for their own gain and walk all over Rando, leading to many of Rando's soldiers Brad faces on his journey being truly evil.
Appearance[]
The Rando Army has no particular dress code, though there's a vast theme of red and blue armor and spikes plated over black clothes. Though there are certain outfits that are more common than others in the army, such as the spike-top brimmed wear that elites like the Red brothers and Clint Moss seem to wear, and the ninja-like clothes some archers wear in Brad's battle against the army in the finale.
Biography[]
LISA: The Painful[]
Some time after the flash, Rando became a respected figure in Olathe starting with his mask and not talking.
Brad's house[]
The Rando Army is first mentioned when Brad finds a baby wrapped in cloth outside by his house, and decides to take her in. After introducing her to Richard, Sticky, and Cheeks, they note that she could mean there are other women out in the world before realizing she is a woman herself and suggest giving her to the Rando Army as they'd be set for life. Brad denies this however, demanding that she shouldn't be raised in such an environment as he names her Buddy.
Area 1[]
Though Brad continues to raise the girl as his own, the truth comes out and his home is raided; the girl now lost. With the truth out, the Rando Army catches on with intent to retrieve her as they leave posters throughout Olathe insinuating that the girl belongs to them, and they can give the world a future. Brad's gang first encounters the army fairly early on in the New Roads at Area 1 Crossroads. There will be a camp set up at the start of the area, one of the members, Porky Roy, will antagonize Brad's gang. A cohort of his, Mystic Pete, will try to call him off, but he continues and challenges Brad. Before or after their battle however, depending on what Brad chooses to do, their boss will arrive. Oak Tree Steve will assist in trying to take down Brad's gang, but eventually they are each killed and Brad carries on further into the New Roads.
When Brad ventures further in, he'll meet with the Schoolboy Shufflers. They are a peaceful gang however the Rando Army will have been causing them trouble and their leader will ask Brad to take them out with their firebombs as a reward. Later on his way to Area 2, Brad will encounter Rick. He'll start beating info out of Rick after he notices Rick's resistance and realizes his compliance to keep Buddy away from Brad. Though as he's being beaten, Rick will try to say that Buddy is with Sticky who is hidden in a cave for Rando's Army, foreshadowing Sticky joining the army.
During the transition to Area 2, Brad will crash into Rando himself while driving a motorcycle. Rando will give Brad a portion of his Rando Rations as an apology for breaking it before being driven off by one of his men. However, the soldiers he's accompanied by won't take well to this and Laser Aldino will approach Brad stating that Rando's too nice, and he doesn't deserve him. The gang then tries beating down Brad for his rations before ultimately being taken out.
Area 2[]
By the time Brad reaches Area 2, it has been blocked off by Rando's Army. They'll make him turn back if he tries to pass. Though after defeating Wally and heading past the cave he'll find the mask he gave Buddy to disguise her in Olathe, hanging on a tree. When he finds Buddy, she'll ask where Rick and Sticky are. After telling Brad Sticky told her to stay in the cave, he'll try and force her to leave before she tells Brad that Sticky told him what she means to the world, further foreshadowing his plans to give her to the Rando Army. After poorly wording how Sticky explained her importance however, Brad grows paranoid and takes Buddy with him. Brad begins hallucinating illusions related to Sticky, like his father and ultimately, a drug-induced nightmare.
When Brad tries to leave the cave, a Joy Boy will knock him unconscious. When Brad wakes up, he and Buddy are held hostage by Buzzo and his Joy Boys. While passing out from Buzzo force feeding him Joy, the Rando Army will rush in along with Sticky as a battle between them and the Joy Boys presumably starts while Brad is knocked out. After Brad battles a hallucination of Sticky manifested from his worry of what he may have done to Buddy, he wakes up to the carnage left behind by the battle between Buzzo's gang and the Rando Army. After finding out that the Joy Boys are headed for the Rando Army's blockade from a dying member of the Rando Army, he rushes there to find that it has been destroyed by Buzzo's gang.
As Brad gets closer to Area 3, he'll find Sticky beaten up from the battle between Buzzo and Rando's gangs. After Brad and Sticky have an aggressive talk, Brad will threaten to kill Sticky only to be stopped by Rick, who's revealed to have lived. He'll plead for Brad to spare them. Should Brad choose not to, they'll be killed together from a fireball. If he spares them though, Sticky will vow that it isn't over. Yet while the Rando Army seems to be dealt with for now, Buzzo still has Buddy. After forcing Brad to make a few more decisions however, Buddy escapes Buzzo and steals a boat from Tardy Hernandez so she may escape to Rando Land.
Area 3[]
While searching for materials to build a new boat, Brad encounters one of Rando's strongest soldiers; Spoony "Sidewalk" Vee. He guards Han Tsunami's bathhouse, and will fight Brad and even kill some of his party members to keep him from reaching further. Though Brad gets by anyway, and eventually gathers the materials to build a boat to Rando Land. Despite this, depending on if the player spared Sticky earlier, Sticky will reluctantly attack Brad's gang one last time in attempt to stop him from taking Buddy back. Unfortunately, Brad murders Sticky and carries on with his plan.
Rando Land[]
After making it to Rando Land, Brad becomes a failure once he saves Buddy from Sticky's abusive father and is scolded by her anyway. He then wanders Rando Land, the place is desolate and filled with red-painted skulls all over. There are plenty of diesel firebomb generators and Rando rations scattered throughout the land, emphasizing how much resources the army has before Brad finally confronts the army itself, nearly all of it grouped up to get Buddy away from him. After killing his party members (or possibly hallucinating them), Brad then fights to murder all that's left of the Rando Army. Countless members are killed, or try to run away. But against all odds, Brad kills them all at the brink of death before confronting Rando himself in a final battle. Rando is defeated, yet it's later revealed in LISA: The Joyful that he survives this confrontation.
LISA: The Joyful[]
The Rando Army's presence is displayed in LISA: The Joyful with how many ties it had to other Warlords in Olathe. Though Rando has survived, his army has ultimately been destroyed and eventually its legacy dies with him when Bolo Bugaughtiichi causes his death for his own perverse plans.
Gallery[]
Trivia[]
- Dingaling considers Rando's soldiers "goofy" people and most of the ridiculous names for some of Rando's resources like "Rando bombs" were made by them.
