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|“||We all gotta die sometimes. Might as well help each other get there. I mean that's what you did to Stinkmeaner, ain't that right, Robert Freeman?||„|
|~ Lord Rufus Crabmiser to Granddad Freeman.|
Lord Rufus Crabmiser is an elderly Afro-American man and a character that appears in the episode "Stinkmeaner 3: The Hateocracy" also the overall main antagonist of the episode. He is a member of Colonel H. Stinkmeaner's old group called the Hateocracy and his weapon killed martial artist Bushido Brown.
He was voiced by Aries Spears of MADtv fame.
Rufus Crabmiser first met Stinkmeaner, Esmeralda Gripenasty and George Pissedofferson back at a retirement home. At first, they hated each other right away, but they really hated everyone else even more then ever. They caused trouble on everyone including their fellow senior citizens before they were all finally kicked out. That is when they went separate ways.
Upon Stinkmeaner's death, the three remaining members of the Hateocracy reassembled and vowed to seek revenge against the Freeman family.
Return of the Hateocracy
Stinkmeaner's crew decides to avenge him by seeking revenge for his death and hunting down the Freemans. They first show up at a gas station, run by Uncle Ruckus, who is throwing darts at a newspaper picture of President Barack Obama. They ask if he knows Granddad, which he admits. A fight ensues due to Ruckus's racial remarks, and he is assaulted.
At the Freeman home, Riley turns on the television to see the news story of the event. Riley jokingly remarks how Ruckus was "beat up by a bunch of old niggas", but Huey is unsure of the happening. Granddad leaves to go fishing, ignoring the event.
Two of the members show up at Huey and Riley's school and request the boys' presence. The two are called down to the main office to see "their aunt and uncle". Huey, aware that something is wrong, has Riley follow him outside where they meet the two members. They are astonished by their physical abilities, and they are then outmatched by the two elders after an epic fight. Then the school bell rings, excusing the children from their classes, effectively saving the two brothers.
At the same time, Robert Freeman is attacked while out fishing by the third member of the crew, who uses a modified Flying Guillotine. He survives by throwing a bucket of crabs at the man and swims away to safety.
The Freemans look up Stinkmeaner on Wikipedia. His story reveals that he was part of a crew named the "Hateocracy". The crew is made up of Lord Rufus Crabmiser (who attacked Granddad), Lady Esmeralda Gripenasty, and Mr. George Pissedofferson (who attacked Huey and Riley). The crew hated each other at first sight, but hated everyone else more. Upon Stinkmeaner's death, the crew reassembled and sought revenge on the Freeman family.
The Freemans do not know what to do next. Riley suggests that they fight back. His plan goes haywire when Ed Wuncler III, as usual, attacks the wrong people. Huey then suggest hiring Oprah Winfrey's former bodyguard, Bushido Brown, but Bushido Brown's service requires many fees on his bodyguard bill. Granddad fires him, but opening the door, he sees the Hateocracy at their driveway. Granddad then rehires him for double-pay.
Bushido Brown holds his own against the Hateocracy at first, defeating one member by causing her wig to come off. But in the end, Bushido Brown is beheaded by the Flying Guillotine. Stinkmeaner cites the formula mentioned previously, noting that this killing was one example of the disaster wrought by a combined "Nigga Moment" and "Nigga Synthesis", which therefore, as mentioned earlier in the episode, equaled a "Complete Disaster!".
Desperate not to share Bushido Brown's fate, Granddad opens up and apologizes for killing Stinkmeaner. He reveals he didn't mean to kill him, he just didn't want to be shown up by a blind old man. The Hateocracy reveals they didn't even "give a shit about Stinkmeaner", but they wanted a particular family to reign terror on- Stinkmeaner's death only served as a convenient excuse to a convenient target. The police conveniently show up and arrest the Hateocracy. Though Riley is at first relieved, he then feigns frustration that "someone snitched", adding that "snitching is gay". Huey tells the officer that the Hateocracy had a nigga moment, to which he replies that jail can stop nigga moments for good. Stinkmeaner replies in narration that some niggas need to go to jail, but he's glad he's in Hell instead.