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Russell Ira Crowe, also known as the "Buffet Bandit", is a minor antagonist in Paradise P.D., only appearing in "What Happens in Twatemala". He is a depiction of Australian actor Russell Crowe, who is steals food from the buffet at the Twatnugget Casino in disguise as his villainous alter-ego, the Buffet Bandit.


In "What Happens in Twatemala", Dusty Marlow stole and ate a bunch of food from the Twatnugget Casino buffet and then Karen Crawford got on his case about it. Dusty denied that he did this and blamed it on an imaginary "Buffet Bandit", which Karen believed, putting Dusty in the clear.

Later in the episode, a masked bandit runs by with a bunch of food in his arms and an Italian chef screams out at the bandit, demanding that somebody stop him. The cops chase after the now notorious buffet bandit but can't seem to catch up to him. Dusty sits in shock as he watches the entire event unfold and questions himself as he was once certain that he had made up the whole "buffet bandit" thing from the start.

Dusty finds Russell Crowe in the Twatnugget Casino and pays him a bunch of money to take off his shirt, shove Bullet on his chest, and do the truffle shuffle to torture him. Russell Crowe agrees to do this without hesitation and drives the poor dog insane. As Russell Crowe shakes Bullet around, his buffet bandit mask falls out of his pocket and the Italian chef spots it, calling out to the cops that Russell Crowe is the buffet bandit. A bunch of security guards them come by and beat Russell Crowe black and blue with their nightsticks.

Later on, Russell Crowe broke out of his handcuffs and started fighting back against the security guards by trapping them in his beefy bosoms and shaking them around in circles, torturing them to a state of complete madness once again.

In "PARAD-ISIS", Russell Crowe makes a return cameo, as one of the members of the International Society of Insulted Selebrities, who is declaring war on Paradise P.D. and trying to get the show cancelled for making fun of him in previous episodes. While the other ISIS members torment people inside the church, Russell Crowe is one of the members to stand guard outside the church. There, he is faced with Gina Jabowski, who kills many of the members of the group in cold blood. Russel Crowe blocks the door with his body, but Gina just runs right up to him and blows a hole through his stomach, killing him instantly.


          Paradise P.D. Villains Logo.png Villains

Paradise P.D.
Randall Crawford | Bullet | Gina Jabowski | Dusty Marlow | Gerald Fitzgerald | Stanley Hopson

Legion of Dooooom
Gerald Fitzgerald | Thester Carbomb IV | Frank Flipperfist | Jerry Flipperfist | Pedro Pooptooth | Edna Dorsaldigits | Puffy the Cigarette | Pat Robertson | Harvey Weinstein | Russian Mobster | Marcos Narcos | Agent Clappers | Brett DeMarco | Jesus Christ | Flipper People | Dolphin Queen | The Kingpin

International Society of Insulted Selebrities
Ron Perlman | Pat Robertson | Tucker Carlson | Steve Harvey | Tom Selleck | Carrot Top | Jenny McCarthy | Bill Clinton | Joe Biden | Mitch McConnell | Russell Crowe

Repeat Offenders
Karen Crawford | Robby | Delbert | Dean Hancock | Frank Flipperfist | Mr. Meowgi | Mrs. Two-Toes | Dr. Johann | Karla 9000 | Satan | Lady Gertrude | Tucker Carlson | Thester Carbomb IV | Dobby | Cop Bot | Agent Clappers | William | Paradise Nuking Survivors | (Clovis | Mr. Pussbubble | Arm Head) | Agatha Culpepper

One-Time Offenders
Terry Two-Toes | Edna Dorsaldigits | Russian Mobster | Pedro Pooptooth | Marcos Narcos | Marvin | Tuco | Leroy | General Bumfuqué | Jabowski Family | (Mr. Jabowski | Mrs. Jabowski | Cooter Jabowski | Bo Jabowski | Baby Jabowski | Granny Jabowski) | Joe Biden | Yucko the Clown | Dark Zuckerberg | Radioactive Panda | Puffy the Cigarette | Jerry Flipperfist | Santa Claus | Glenda | Harvey Weinstein | Brett DeMarco | Gal-Qaeda | Kev-Man | Cory Romando | Walt Disney | Catholic Priest | Poachmaster General | Tom Selleck | The Kingpin | Polyp Man | Ninja Army | Samurai Leader | Earl | Stuffed Animal Midgets | Lumpy Larry | O.J. Simpson | Chip Fuckyeah | Smart Guns | (Mr. Bang Bang | Gun of Jehovah) | Weight Watchers | Steve Harvey | Bill Clinton | Clit-3PO | Monsters of the Forbidden Forest | Yog-Sothoth | Ikea Pussyjuice | Ginger Pedophile | Fetus | Coyotes | Buffet Bandit | Carrot Top | International Society of Insulted Selebrities