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[evil laughter] They have arrested Mermaid Man for my crimes! Which doesn't sound fair really, but bah! I am a super villain and that is what we do! So, I guess I shall go do more villainous type stuff. [laughs]
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~ SpongeBob's first lines as the Hermit.
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Har-har-har! They've arrested the wrong people for my crimes! My crimes! They won't be looking for me now, which is good. Uh, I think I'll say, "har-har-har!." Har-har-har
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~ Patrick's first lines as the Hermit.
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Ha! They've arrested Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy for my crimes. Heh. Really disappointing 'cause where's the recognition? But they won't be looking for me now. [laughs]
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~ Squidward's first lines as the Hermit.
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[evil laughter] That sheriff has arrested those hero varmits instead of yours truly! They won't be lookin' for me now. I'm in the clear like a window in a swimmin' pool. [laughs]
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~ Sandy's first lines as the Hermit.
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[evil laughter] They've arrested Mermaid Man for me crimes! Oh, it sure warms me money purse. Now, I'll be free to steal anything I want! Buildings and money! Boats and money! Wallets with money in 'em! [laughs]
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~ Mr. Krabs' first lines as the Hermit.
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[evil laughter] The fools have arrested Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy for my crimes! My crimes! Leaving me free to steal everything I possibly can! Oh, the power is going to my head! Ouch! Ooh, my head. I mean [laughs]
They are the in-universe villain of "The New Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy" anniversary special episode, and the part that SpongeBob SquarePants and his friends are competing to get. They are a mischievous crab (though what species they are can depend on which one of the main characters portrays them) who wants to steal all of the buildings in Bikini Bottom, so that they can put it all on their shell.
When portrayed by SpongeBob, they were voiced by Tom Kenny, who also did some minor voice work as Master Udon. When portrayed by Patrick, they were voiced by Bill Fagerbakke, who also voiced the Dreaded Patrick in Creature from the Krusty Krab. When portrayed by Squidward, they were voiced by Rodger Bumpass. When portrayed by Sandy, they were voiced by Carolyn Lawrence. When portrayed by Mr. Krabs, they were voiced by Clancy Brown, who also voiced Lex Luthor in the DC Animated Universe, The Splotch in The Epic Adventures of Captain Underpants, and PlanKrab. When portrayed by Plankton, they were voiced by Mr. Lawrence.
It all started when Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy were watching a performance at the Sand Stadium. Suddenly, Mermaid Man accidentally pushes a button on his belt while loosening it, and the whole stadium disappears. Everyone believes that Mermaid Man was responsible, so he and Barnacle Boy escape but ended up getting caught by a police officer at Mrs. Puff's Boating School. Nearby, the real perpetrator of the crime, the Sneaky Hermit, laughs at how they arrested the heroes for their crime.
In the Bikini Bottom Prison, Mermaid Man reveals that the button he pushed was just a camera for his chin, with a special effect of very bright lights. The prison guard is skeptical, though they remember a former inmate named Stanley "Messy" Messerson. Barnacle Boy and Man Ray agree that he isn’t the one who stole the stadium either, it vanished too cleanly and Stanley loves making actual messes. The warden then suggests a monster and the Sneaky Hermit, the latter in which Man Ray totally agrees. When Barnacle Boy asks what the Sneaky Hermit does, the prison suddenly disappears too, leading the Dirty Bubble to conclude that they steal buildings. As Man Ray and the Dirty Bubble leave, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, now free of the false charges, decide to go after the Sneaky Hermit.
They start at Goo Lagoon because hermits apparently love the beach. A lookout the hermit hired saw them, but they didn’t know it was them and got scared. An ice cream man who next to them claims that he heard of the heroes’ quest, saying the hermit was here earlier and said he was hungry for the Krusty Krab. So, the heroes go there, but the ice cream man tells the lookout that he just got rid of them. Thanking him, they get another call from the Sneaky Hermit saying they won’t get scared again, only to immediately do when they see Man Ray and the Dirty Bubble. The villains decided to join forces with the Sneaky Hermit, the ice cream man showed them a sign to his hideout.
In there, the Sneaky Hermit talks with his pet snail about his plan. They reminisce about their spouse and/or parents and how they took their house away from them. At that moment, Man Ray and the Dirty Bubble arrived with cookies. The Sneaky Hermit agreed to the villains' offer of joining forces, they give them a captive in a sack which they can use to distract the heroes. After the villains leave for the Chum Bucket, the Sneaky Hermit reveals that he’s going to steal their evil lairs while they are gone, telling their pet snail to do something before they leave.
At the Krusty Krab, Barnacle Boy realizes that the ice cream man tricked them. However, Mermaid Man was too caught up in his meal to notice, he obtains pepper from a waiter since he loves it so much. Coincidentally, the waiter has some odd connection to the Sneaky Hermit, but they don’t know where they are now. However, they do alert the heroes to Man Ray carrying the wriggling sack into the Chum Bucket. The captive turned to be the mayor’s child, the Dirty Bubble put them on a stinky tread mill, that will turn them into something disgusting if they try to stop running. As the villains leave, Barnacle Boy tries to turn off the machine, to no avail, despite knowing it will stall them from finding the Sneaky Hermit. Suddenly, the villains return and are furious as they found out about the Sneaky Hermit’s double crossing. The heroes and villains decided to unite to take down the Sneaky Hermit once and for all, Man Ray also releases the captive since they no longer have any need for them.
Barnacle Boy knows a hunter in Jellyfish Fields that can track the hermit down. The hunter tells them that hermits collect a lot on their backs, so they are in danger of tipping, they are collecting and seeking gradually bigger buildings, and something about comfort. Unfortunately, the four kept making loud noises that were scaring away a big jellyfish he was hoping to catch, making them angry. They decided to come with them and track down the hermit themselves. The news has heard of this and announces to everyone that the hermit is in Downtown Bikini Bottom, right when the studio was taken.
When the heroes and villains arrived, the hunter had already left. They joke about the Sneaky Hermit, but their laughing stops when they take the invisible boatmobile. The Sneaky Hermit then reveals themself to them, revealing their motivation and plan to steal every home. After a battle, apparently involving a stunt double, the Sneaky Hermit heads for the Sea Needle, the last building in Bikini Bottom. The Sneaky Hermit was unable to lift it, Mermaid Man foolishly reveals a that there’s a lock on the Sea Needle and suggests using window washing platforms to go up and take it off. Nonetheless, the heroes and villains follow them on other platforms, but they keep dodging their powers. When the Dirty Bubble mentions “spilling”, Barnacle Boy, remembering what the hunter said, tells Mermaid Man to use the pepper he got from the waiter to make the Sneaky Hermit sneeze. The hermit realized they're done for and, just as the other four went down, sneezed causing him to fly and all the buildings on their back fell back into their rightful places. Presumably, the Sneaky Hermit was then taken into custody. Meanwhile, Man Ray and the Dirty Bubble go back to being evil, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy return to the Sand Stadium to see the rest of the performance, and the Realistic Fish Head and French Narrator talk.