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Die, you miserable Schlorps! And when you meet God, slap that motherf*cker in the face, because existence is nothing but his cruel joke on all of us!
~ The Squirrel Wizard's mental breakdown during his massacre of the Schlorps.

The Squirrel Wizard is the secondary antagonist in the Robot Chicken special episode, the Bitch Pudding Special.

He is voiced by Rob Corddry, who has also portrayed Ron Fox in Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay and Mr. Walt House in Rapture-Palooza.

History

After Bitch Puddin' is nearly murdered by her own people when they attempt to drop her inside of a volcano by the mail bird, Bitch Pudding finds herself in the village of The Schlorps who tell her that the evil Squirrel Wizard has stolen all of their "Schlorp nuts" and they face starvation unless he can be stopped and offer Bitch Pudding to get her home if she deals with their oppressor, to which she begrudgingly agrees.

Bitch Pudding goes to the tree the Squirrel Wizard was said to live inside and knocks on the front door, then immediately beats the first squirrel she sees to death with a rock, only to be told by the female Schlorp that it wasn't the Squirrel Wizard. The real Squirrel Wizard then steps outside to find that Bitch Pudding murdered his lover Trevor. Enraged, the Squirrel Wizard runs to the Schlorp village to start massacring everyone he sees while Bitch Pudding tries running away, though gets a change of heart once she sees how badly they're being slaughtered.

After a lengthy battle with the Squirrel Wizard, Bitch Pudding finally gets the upper hand on the Squirrel Wizard and kills him by impaling his skull with his own magic staff.

Victims

  • Miss Schlorp - Erased from existence with the Squirrel Wizard's magic.
  • Unnamed Schlorp - Blown up with the Squirrel Wizard's magic.
  • Unnamed Schlorp - Turned to stone with the Squirrel Wizard's magic.
  • Unnamed Schlorp - Hands turn into alligators with the Squirrel Wizard's magic who then eat him alive.
  • Unnamed Schlorp - Sliced in half with the Squirrel Wizard's magic and his legs kick his head off.
  • Unnamed Schlorp - Sliced into several pieces with the Squirrel Wizard's magic.
  • Unnamed Schlorp - Killed with the Squirrel Wizard's magic off-screen, body shown.
  • Unnamed Schlorp - Flattened with the Squirrel Wizard's magic.
  • Basketball Schlorp - Given an unknown disease with the Squirrel Wizard's magic.
  • Two Unnamed Schlorps - Decapitated with another Schlorp's hat after being forced to spin like a helicopter with the Squirrel Wizard's magic.
  • 12 Schlorps - Killed with the Squirrel Wizard's magic off-screen, bodies shown.
    • Total - 23

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Recurring
Aliens | Barney Rubble | Bitch Puddin' | Calvin | Care Bears | CD | Composite Santa Claus | Donald Trump | Dora the Explorer | Didi Pickles | Fred Rogers | Fritz Hühnermörder | George Bush | Killer Chicken | Little Drummer Boy | Mario | Matthew Senreich | Ms. Frizzle | Munson | Negative Wonder Woman | Punky Brewster | Rainbow Brite | Sally Brown | Santa Claus | Unicorn

One Time
Apocalypse Ponies | Atheist Mayor | Billy Joel | Bop It | Dread Baron | Fritz Hühnermörder's Son | Great Pumpkin | Jasper the Douchebag Ghost | Jokey Smurf | Liberace | Skeeter | Squirrel Wizard | Li'L Hitler | The Little Girl | Walt Disney

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