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Sylvester Smirch

Sylvester Smirch is the main antagonist of the 2011 film Beethoven's Christmas Adventure.

He was portrayed by Robert Picardo, who also played Eddie Quist in The Howling, Meg Mucklebones in Legend, one of the Pirates in The Pagemaster, Equinox EMH and The Doctor in the Star Trek franchise, Amazo in the DC Animated Universe, Edward Teague in Smallville, Wayne Whittaker in Supernatural and Sebastian Krueger and the Shadowman in the Call of Duty video game series.

History[]

Sylvester Smirch used to sell old overpriced mattresses under the business name “Most Wanted Mattresses” as shown on the side of his van. Later Smirch and his assistant Kenny decided to secretly steal toys from other toy stores in the town of Wood-haven Minnesota then open up their own toy store “Most Wanted Toys” and sell the stolen toys at an inflated price.

While driving on the highway as he was on his way to rob another toy store, Smirch came across Santa's Toy Bag lying on the road after it was lost by a Christmas elf named Henry. Smirch only realized what the toy bag was after pulling out several toys from it to see them increase to full size as well as a tag on the front of the bag that said that it was the property of Santa Clause. Before leaving with the toy bag Smirch was witnessed by a stray whose foot was stuck to an old mattress.

The next day, Mr. Smirch and Kenny decided to shoot a commercial with the toy bag but during the filming, Smirch kept singing “mattresses” instead of “toys” much to his anger. They were interrupted however when they saw Henry and superstar dog Beethoven running down the street towards them, realizing that Henry was an elf, Smirch flees with the toy bag and runs across town past the Wood-haven crafts fair, an ice-skating rink, and a kielbasa sausage stand. He is picked up by Kenny shortly after on the west side of the pavilion, and Henry fails to get a visual on Smirch.

The next day, Smirch is surprised to find that Henry, Beethoven and the stray dog entered the Toy store during business hours and found Henry trying to convince the patrons that the toys were from Santa's toy bag and that Smirch had stolen them. Not wanting to get caught, Smirch kicks Henry out of the store, threatening to call the police if Henry wasn’t gone in three minutes. Later when Smirch and Kenny were restocking the shelves, they got distracted by a group of Christmas carolers.

However Smirch realizes that it was a distraction as he notices that Henry was in the group and was singing off-key Turning around, Smirch sees that Beethoven and the stray had gotten inside the store through the back window and were running out the back door with Santa’s toy bag. Smirch caught up with Beethoven outside and the two of them engaged in a tug of war over the bag, this was cut short as the stray bit Smirch in the leg, causing him to let go of the bag, but Henry is captured by the police chief and is arrested for trying to steal Santa's toy bag. And the stray is taken back to the shelter for biting Smirch.

At the police station Smirch is about to press charges on Henry but then changes his mind after Henry reveals that the elves made enough toys in the bag for one year. Believing that Henry is a toy making elf, Smirch then decides not to press charges on Henry, however he kidnaps Henry as he believed that he would receive more income from the toys that Henry would make. Henry did try to object claiming that the one time he tried to make a toy, ended in disaster. but Smirch refused to believe Henry.

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Just then Beethoven and his temporary owners Christine Cooper and her son Mason arrive at the toy store, to stop Smirch and retrieve Santa’s toy bag. While Kenny starts throwing balls at the Coopers and Beethoven, Smirch stuffs Henry in the toy bag and he and Kenny flee out of the store but find that their van wouldn’t start. They then flee on Motorcycles (that were from the toy bag). to the park where the parade's floats are being worked on. Smirch then fires Kenny for objecting on stealing Christmas. And as he was making a getaway with the toy bag and Henry, Smirch crashes onto the Beethoven float and gets trapped in a large plastic Christmas ornament. Smirch is then arrested and sent to jail for toy theft.

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