|This scum The Bad Egg is driving Cruella insane!|
IT MUST BE REWRITTEN OR ADDED TO!!
So sayeth the great Lord of Darkness Sauron, or he will send Darth Vader to terminate you.
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The Bad Egg is a major antagonist in the old Humpty Dumpty cartoon.
Humpty Dumpty Jr., the hero, Easter Egg, the heroine; and the Bad Egg, the mustache-twirling villain. We meet Humpty sitting precariously on a pitcher. Next to the vase is a storybook, with his old man pictured on the front.
Chorus: [singing] Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. / Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. / All the king's horses and all the king's men / Couldn't put Humpty together again.
Humpty Jr. [singing] My old man may have sat on a wall. / He slipped and had a very great fall. / But I'm Humpty Jr. / I'm just like my pop. / I climb where I please / And they can't make me stop.
Humpty's mother is sweeping up the kitchen counter when she peers through her glasses and sees her boy.
Mother: Junior! Come down from there!
Humpty loses his balance and falls. Mother rushes up to him and catches him with her apron just in time. Mother is relieved and then angry.
Mother: You be careful! That's how you're father got cracked.
Humpty walks off sulking. We dissolve to Easter Egg, gaily skipping along the counter, hitting cups and things with a stick. Humpty hides behind a small pitcher and then appears in front of her just before she passes. He presents her with a bouquet of parsley and then blushes.
The two of them walk arm in arm.
Humpty Jr.: [singing] The moment you arrived I had a feeling / I'd never be contented till we met. / There never was an egg quite so appealing. / Oh, won't you join me in an omelet?
Humpty Jr. and Easter Egg: [singing] Spooning in a spoon, / We don't need a moon, / Poached or fried or on the side, / Morning, night or noon. / Scrambled in a tune, / Deviled with a croon, / In a cup or sunny side up, / Spooning in a spoon.
The two sweethearts rock back and forth in an spoon, as dancing eggs, looking like the albumen version of the Ziegfeld Follies, appear from nowhere and perform their high-kicking steps behind them.
The Bad Egg, wearing top and tails and trailed by his own visible stink, appears from behind a bowl. He jumps on the spoon's handle, throwing the two lovers out of the bowl of the spoon. "Scram!" the Bad Egg demands of Humpty. He grabs the girl and kisses her up her arm as she cries for help.
The Bad Egg drags her away, past a pot of boiling water and another pot of spaghetti. Soon the Bad Egg has her on higher ground: the kitchen cabinets. She bites his hand and runs away, knocking off a box of matches and upsetting a can of tomatoes. The Bad Egg trips over the can, but catches up with Easter and corners her. She knocks over a pepper shaker, pours out some pepper and throws it in the Bad Egg's face. He sneezes and rubs his eyes, but then continues to force himself on her.
Humpty finally catches up to the Bad Egg and is ready to fight. The Bad Egg throws Easter into the pot of boiling water. Humpty is forced to leave the Bad Egg and go save his girl.
He makes a lasso of a spaghetti strand, throws it over Easter and pulls her out of the water. Unfortunately, Easter is now hard-boiled. "Scram!" she tells her one-time boyfriend.
The Bad Egg laughs maliciously at this turn of events. Humpty is now prepared for his fight. But Easter shoves Humpty out of the way and takes care of the business herself. She punches the Bad Egg over and over, and he is incapable of defending himself. Humpty keeps his distance and cheers his girl on, punching the air as if participating in the fight himself. He gets overexcited, though, and falls into the boiling water himself.
Meanwhile, the effect of the hot water has worn off the girl. The Bad Egg grabs her again; and again she cries for help. Humpty pulls himself out of the boiling water, now a tough egg himself.
He returns to the Bad Egg and punches him off the pantry. The dazed Bad Egg now stumbles along the kitchen counter. Humpty strikes matches and throws them in the direction of the Bad Egg. The cad is surrounded by burning matches and keeps running into them, burning himself. Humpty throws the entire box of matches on the Bad Egg, blackening him. Defeated, the Bad Egg falls down in the bowl of the spoon. Humpty jumps on the handle, throwing the Bad Egg out. The villain falls on the kitchen floor and breaks open. Skunks run out of the broken shell.
The tough egg now meets the hard-boiled dame and kisses her hard on the lips. We dissolve to the pair back in their spoon. Luckily, both have returned to their former state, as an innocent boy and girl.
Powers and Abilities
- Kidnapping - He seems to be a skilled kidnapper since he was able to takeout Humpty Jr. while kidnapping the Easter Egg for his own sinister purposes.
- Strength - He was able to takeout Humpty Jr. by making him dizzy while kidnapping his lover. Tactical analysis-He seems to be aware of his surroundings as well as who he is fighting.
It is assumed he has a split personality disorder since he tried to kill the Easter Egg and then make out with her. Also, it seems that the Bad Egg has no fighting skills of his own since he allowed himself to be beaten by children.