| “ | You feel like making cookies. But nobody wants to eat your cookies. | „ |
The Baker is the main protagonist of the indie video game Cookie Clicker.
He was initially an ordinary person who started a cookie business. When the business proved to be a massive success, he begins to expand it, gaining omnipotence in the process. The Baker then conquers the entire universe with the dimensions inside of it, proceeding to go on a quest to conquer the multiverse soon after.
Biography[]
The baker started a small Cookie business as a hobby, initially no one, not even stray animals, wanted the cookies. Gradually, the business began to become known in the town, with their first workers being grandmothers, and later became known by different countries, including by royalty. It leads him to create farms, mines, and even factories for the baking process. It's said that he knows that his buildings release poisonous chemicals, increase global warming, and that there's accidents that kill thousands like explosions or collapsings, but he doesn't care. Working conditions are also considered miserable, going as far as child labor, exposing workers to radiation and giving them a miserable salary or no salaries at all. When workers protest, he replaces them with robots and sells them to poorer countries.
Meanwhile, the baker dabbled in the occult: creating a cult, which prayed and performed human sacrifices to the gods to receive cookies. Within it, they used alchemy to turn metals into cookies and imbuing them with ambrosia to make them more addictive, creating cookies with magic, creating dozens of wizard towers, funding schools of magic, and using old powers known as "Eldritch Forces". Their cookie business has reached a level where cookies compete to be the main currency of countries and have a massive influence in the global economy. This causes cases of staff members being able to infiltrate the government and make their cult become an official religion, while also allowing them send space ships to expand his cookie empire to other planets. On these foreign lands, the baker's company would use the lifeforms of the planets (and in some cases, the planets themselves) to make cookies and give them new flavors, even when he was say to him by a inter-galatic delegation that he should not interact with lesser alien cultures,and even promises he won't, he starts robbing those civilizations of their resources without their realizing it.
At some point, the baker found an ancient tablet, which allowed him to open portals to other dimensions like the so called "cookieverse", which can kill or madden anyone who enters,with the portals being able to engul enteir cities. The baker took advantage of the cookieverse by taking complaining workers to it to make them go crazy, including performing rituals to make it happen. When they discovered that they didn't live on the highest dimension of the cookieverse, they began to merging the higher dimensions, which he dubbed "Branes", to gain access to their resources. In this moment, an ancient god stepped out of the portals, to which the baker's workers killed him, mutilated him, and used the body to make more cookies. He also opened the cookieverse portals as a tourist spot, although only 27% of people who enter survive.
After a while, he began to create time machines, with which he brought cookies from the past, but also altered the flow of time, changing history and making important figures become lumps of dough, then using science, he began to create anti-matter condensers that began to create anti-cookies, but also made cookies taste good by having the fabric of reality integrated, but also causes black holes, but aparently people who are ''relaible''say that the black hole does not exist, he also shrinked his workers without them wanting, and even when he ears there complains, he does not care for there complains and considers them ''tiny and funny''.
To increase the production of cookies, he develops some prisms, which convert light into cookies, and many of these are very dangerous and can leave burns that can be fatal, even the continuous use of them causes the universe to have less light and more matter (even if the universe is infinite in space), which he don't even hear, and he began to draw light from "metaphors" (which means, the light of the eyes of a child with hope, or the light of the warmth of a pregnant woman), his luck increased, and he began to create ways to manipulate luck, probability and improbability, causing many problems in events that make reboot movies end up with a good score, people being struck by lightning more than 47 times, or the fall of the economy of a nation and the recovery of the same after a day.
He started to "auto-reference" everything using fractal engine, allowing for cookies to bake themselves. Discovering the existence of the infinite number of universes inside particles through his experiments, the Baker was determined to create something that could eternally replicate his cookies through the endless loop. While he did consider using his technology to permanently cure hunger, the likely drain to profits it would create ultimately caused him to refrain. With his cookies now the only food source in the universe, all societies were forced into consuming them, regardless of their ethical value.
Using a computer, he then manages to hack the code of reality (the game code itself) and decides to use it to turned into more cookies, which causes teenagers to become more interested in programming. As the understanding of the multiverse grows, the robots created through this technology boom begin to ransack parallel universes for their riches. Following this, they also use a converter to cause these "idleverses" to generate things other than cookies, resulting in a multiversal war between the baker's company and the robotic legion. The baker would eventually reap the benefits of their conquest, winning the war with their metacosmic army.
Using a reducing machine, the Baker manages to reduce infinite realities into a ball that he uses for bowling or to generate more cookies, considering it "funny" that trillions of living beings despair at their helplessness towards their overlord. After this, he then takes control of the cortex bakers, artificial brains that can make ideas into reality, in order to harmonize his ideal vision into his brainwashed workers.
Lastly, the baker decides to generate a endless number of clones to continue his legacy, only to abuse and mutilate them for their perceived imperfections. Up to this point, he is still growing his empire, without anything capable of stopping his conquest.
Personality[]
At the beginning of the game, the baker seemed to have a simple goal, to bake cookies to give to his neighbors, but as the game progressed, it became apparent how the true personality of the baker is revealed.
a person who does not care if he has to kill people, if people die and it was caused by him, or even if he has to enslave people, as long as his goal of obtaining cookies is fulfilled, putting the lives of many people at risk only for to far big goal, He also demonstrates a great of charisma, to the point where in a matter of a short time he manages to make everyone love him and even name places and people with his name, and they even invite him to interviews or to make books, although there are still people who suspect that cookies are something bad, but due to his influence, these people are considered "weird" or "confused idiots" by society,He also has a kind of god complex, where he thinks he is a divinity (and he is) and has an countless amount of followers around the universe who praise him like that.
He also shows a great lack of empathy for his workers, when they make a strike for their bad treatment, he sends them to poor countries and replaces them with robots, showing how little importance he has for his workers and that he considers "replaceable". if they don't follow his orders, and after he unlocks portals,he know sends them to a garbage dimension full of failed cookies, not only that, but he also considers people that are near his cookie crops no different from insects, calling them ''pests''and using pesticides to kill them,not only that,but when he accidentally transformed 3 galaxies into cookies,he didn't care into fixing that problem,and he only left that same universe and started again in another universe.
after a certain point in the game, his attitude becomes more twisted and sadistic, being able to kill a god and uses his flesh to make cookies, steal from entire universes, shrink infinite universes into a ball and enjoy their cries for help, or even brainwashing is workers to follow his ideals that he wants. He doesn't even appreciate his clones, the beings that basically have his own genetic code and that he even considers himself as there "paternal"figure, he constantly treats them in a bad way, many do not have body parts, others are deformed, he even disliked the idea that they had human rights.
Trivia[]
- Orteil normally refers to the baker as ''you'' in most descriptions, although kittens call him ''sir'', he himself say that it refers to the same way marcie adresses peppermint patty.